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“Well, I’d look for her walking in the direction of her car.”
I swear he’s not helpful at all.
Once more, I take the stairs by two so I can catch up to her. I find her just as she’s walking out the kitchen door, pretty much like Marius said.
“Kate! Wait for me!” I call after her, but she doesn’t even turn around.
“This was a mistake. I knew it was, and still I couldn’t not come after you texted you needed to see me.”
I catch up to her right before she reaches her car. “That isn’t what you think. I swear. The baby got lost and I had to help find him. That’s it.”
She spins around, and I immediately see her eyes are filled with tears. “Last night, I decided this wasn’t going to work between us. I’m not what you want, which is fine. I just didn’t need to have how much I don’t belong here acted out in front of me. Goodbye, Ronan.”
What is she talking about? I don’t have a clue, so I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her from getting into her car and possibly driving out of my life forever.
“It’s not like that. Sabrina was just happy I found Theo. I guess he had crawled into the master bedroom.”
That gets me a look that says I’m either a complete idiot or I don’t understand what the hell is happening. Right now, I may be both, to be honest.
“What? I’m not lying.”
“I don’t think you are, but here’s a little fact for you, Ronan. Babies Theo’s age don’t just get out of their crib and walk to their parents’ room.”
“No, he didn’t walk. He crawled,” I explain, sure now that I’ve offered her a reasonable explanation that she won’t be so upset.
I couldn’t be more wrong. Her expression changes from telling me I’m an idiot to telling me I’m the dumbest person she’s ever met.
“Ronan, I’m okay with not being sexy or bubbly, but please don’t insult my intelligence.”
Shaking my head, I say in all honesty, “I don’t understand.”
“He didn’t crawl anywhere. Seriously. You live with that child and don’t have a clue about him. She put him in there and then waited for you to find him, which is exactly what you did. Then she took that opportunity to kiss you, coincidentally or not just at the moment I showed up. You’re not a stupid man, Ronan. Figure it out.”
It takes me a few seconds to process what Kate is saying. Marius did tell me Sabrina was into me. I guess it makes sense.
But that doesn’t mean I’m to blame for any of that.
“Okay, even if she did, why are you angry at me?”
Kate opens her mouth to tell me but then she closes it again. She does that a second time before hanging her head.
“I’m not angry at you, I guess. I just don’t think I’m ever going to be enough, so that’s a me thing. I just need to go.”
“No, stay. Please. I want to talk to you.”
She lifts her head to look into my eyes, and all I see is sadness in hers. “Why? I can’t compete with her just like I couldn’t compete with Amanda. It’s always going to be this way because you’re you and I’m me. You may not play ball anymore, but you have that special something women want. I’m just that same nerdy girl I’ve always been. The one that people like your brother make fun of because I’m not sexy or bubbly. I can’t change that, Ronan.”
“I don’t want you to change that! I’ve always loved how smart you are. For the first year we were together, I was sure there was nothing I loved doing more than watching you study or helping you with getting ready for tests. Then I was sure you’d leave me because you’d realize I wasn’t smart like you. I love that you’re smart, Kate. And if you think you’re not sexy, you’re crazy.”
None of that makes her smile, though. If anything, all I say seems to make her even more unhappy.
“Then I’m crazy. Add that to the list of things women like Sabrina aren’t. Let me go. I want to leave.”
“No. I want to talk to you. I asked you to come over today because I couldn’t wait until tomorrow.”
Kate sighs. “There’s nothing to talk about. We are who we are. That’s never going to change. Just let me go.”
Jesus, I’m losing her for a second time. I can’t let that happen. I can’t let the only woman I’ve ever loved walk out of my life again.