Page 31

Chapter Thirty

Jesse

The sun beams brightly through the double doors that lead out onto Kinsley’s balcony. “Jesse,” she rasps, her throat dry from refusing to stay hydrated. “Close the curtains — please.”

“I’ll close the curtains and let you rot in the darkness, if you take a shower, drink some water and eat —” Softening my voice a little I add, “— I’ll go and get you literally anything.” She has the blanket pulled up over her face; with one swift tug I pull it off of her and onto the floor. “I’m not tiptoeing around you anymore, Kins — that was yesterday. Today we are doing things my way.”

“I c-can’t do it, Jesse,” she sobs. “I’m — I, I’m so tired.”

Seeing her this way is like a bullet to the chest, but I refuse to let her spiral any deeper. I’ve witnessed her rockbottom and it isn’t a place she will ever visit again, not if I can help it.

“Why do you keep pushing people away when they start to see all of you? Is it because you’re scared that you’re too much? Do you think that you’re too broken?”

I sit down next to her on the bed. With the blanket on the floor and nowhere to hide, she has curled into a ball, facing away from me.

“You can’t keep running for the rest of your life, Kinsley. Each time you break into a thousand pieces, who is putting you back together?” I pause, waiting for a response. When I get nothing, I lay down beside her and mold my body around hers, being the big spoon. Then I whisper in her ear, “Every damn time it’s me — I piece you back together and I would do it for the rest of my existence, but each time I piece you back together, I lose a piece of myself. I lose it to you, Meadow.”

Kinsley stays silent, her breathing evening out and the sobbing subsides. A few moments later she laces her fingers through mine and pulls my arm tighter around her; the only acknowledgement I’m going to get. I lay there with her, allowing my own eyes to close too. So much has happened over the past week, none of it was supposed to lead to this. If I’m honest with myself, I really wanted to be wrong when I told Tanner she would react this way, he is the only guy she has ever let in this deep, and he’s actually a good one too.

Little does she know, he doesn’t plan on going anywhere. I have to stop myself from laughing at the thought. One, because now is not the time to be laughing and two, because I think Kinsley has actually fallen asleep and I don’t want to wake her.

He is kinda obsessed with her in a ‘if you touch her, you’ll die’ kind of way but the scary thing is, I’m not sure how far he would actually go on that statement. Stop it Jesse, he wouldn’t actually kill someone … But how would I know? He is moody enough, his side-eye alone nearly killed me the first time I met him.

When I’m sure she is asleep I roll out of bed and tuck the blankets around her to mimic the pressure of my hold. I close the curtains to allow her to sleep and decide to go off in search of foods which not even she can deny.

* * *

Kinsley

My stomach rumbles. Opening my eyes, I see that the curtains are closed, the smallest amount of light filtering in. Jesse is nowhere to be seen, I’m not sure how much time has passed but the other times I’ve glanced around, he’s been sitting in my reading chair or lying next to me. Deciding I don’t want a victory party for actually leaving the bed, I slip out whilst I’m here alone.

I can’t physically lay in that bed any longer, however the sight of the stairs sends a shiver up my spine. I’m not ready to leave the comfort of my little abode up here. Hmm, maybe Jesse has gone to get me food? I think I recall him throwing the blankets off of me earlier, demanding I get up and eat something. I’m not sure what day it is or even the time. All I know is that Jesse has been here, looking out for me, fussing over me. The least I could do is try to pull myself together, even if I’m not ready to walk downstairs in my own apartment yet.

Bath or shower? The shower would hide my tears, but the bathtub will cocoon me, hold me and keep me safe.

“Bubble Bath?” Jesse speaks from behind me. The smell of baked goods follows him. He’s holding two bakery trays in brown paper bags. “I got all your favourites.”

A smile creeps onto my face, I can’t help it. “Yes, please,” I say, taking the trays of food from his hands. The water begins to run, filling the bathtub as I take the food back into the bedroom.

“Hallelujah!” Jesse cries out when he sees me chewing. “She isn’t going to die of starvation.”

I flip him off, unable to speak with my mouth full of pastries. I hold up the tray, gesturing for him to grab something.

“Oh, I wouldn’t dare,” he laughs, holding his hands up in front of himself.

“I can’t physically eat all of this, Jesse; help a girl out here.”

He approaches with caution. “Fine, but only if you go and get in the bath.”

I stand, giving him the best version of a smile I can muster.

“— and Kins …” he adds, I pause gripping the doorframe of the ensuite, looking back over my shoulder at him. “Can you leave the door open?”

A glance at my wrist and back towards him, causes my chest to ache and tears well in my eyes. He’s scared. I don’t say anything, I continue to walk into the bathroom and out of his line of sight, undressing and lowering myself into the bath; all whilst leaving the door open. If that’s the peace of mind he needs, I’ll give it to him.