Page 8 of Worthy (Adrenalin #1)

Chapter seven

Maddox

J esus . I know that little arm pat wasn’t supposed to mean anything, but it sent shivers down my spine all the same, just like every other time Cade has touched me.

I know his intentions aren’t sexual. That pat, or the way his fingers lightly traced over my ankle to check the sprain…those weren’t sexual touches, but they were sensual, and they made my whole body tingle. I still don’t know how I fell asleep with my nerves on edge like that, especially considering the way I baited him before ducking into the bathroom so I wouldn’t see his response.

It wouldn’t be meaningless.

I might as well have proposed marriage for all the innuendo behind my statement. And the really fucked up thing—that’s not how I meant it at all. I know who Cade is. What he is. I know he’s not the relationship type, and while I am, that’s not what I want from him.

All I wanted to imply is how he’s more than the playboy he lets everyone think he is. And since I see him, and I think he might see me, we’ve passed the point where we’re meaningless to each other. That doesn’t mean we’re soulmates or some shit. Hell, I didn’t even mean to suggest we’re anything more than friends, but my choice of words was more loaded than I intended.

If I’m being honest though, I’m not sure my word choice was a complete accident. It wasn’t deliberate, but subconsciously, I think I might’ve meant it. After all, the guy came looking for me and stayed all night to take care of me, so my perception of Cade has started to shift. And given how incredible he is to look at, it’s possible I’ve started to see him in a different light. Dare I say, I might’ve even developed a tiny bit of a crush.

Damn that guy for being decent underneath his sexy body.

Having a crush on a hot guy was not part of the plan for the summer, not only because I have a ton of work to do, but because I do relationships, not flings, and there’s no future with a man who lives in a different state, much less one who’s probably allergic to the word monogamous. I need to put Cade squarely back in the danger: outrageous flirt zone and stop thinking about what a decent person he is.

That’d be a whole lot easier to do if his voice wasn’t drifting in through the open window.

“Seriously dude,” Deacon grunts. “We’ve gone out every night since I got here, but in the last week you’ve only been out twice, and you went home early. What’s up?”

“I’ve had shit to do,” Cade says.

“Like what?”

“Working on Ally’s bike…” he trails off.

“Pfft. Like you can’t do that in a few hours,” Deacon scoffs.

“I don’t even know how to do it yet. I mean, what the fuck is a hoop skirt, and how do I put it on a bike?” He sounds so confused I can’t help but smile.

“If you don’t know what a hoop skirt is, then you haven’t been spending time on Ally’s bike,” Deacon mutters.

“Well, do you know what it is?”

“Yeah, it’s a skirt shaped like an umbrella that starts at your waist and goes all the way down to your feet.”

“How the fuck do you know that?” Cade demands.

“I studied design.”

“Landscape,” Cade’s frustrated voice interjects.

“You still have to take other classes. And fashion was a good class to pick up girls. Or gay guys.”

“That explains it,” Cade mutters. I chuckle into my palm.

“So, why aren’t you coming out with me?” Deacon demands.

“You really need me to help you pick someone up?” Cade’s tone holds a challenge.

“Of course not,” Deacon scoffs. “But having a wingman doesn’t hurt, and I need a wingman this weekend, there’s supposed to be another bachelorette party coming through. Maybe they need entertainment.”

Bachelorette party? Entertainment? What can that mean?

“We’ll see,” Cade says.

“We’ll see? What is wrong with you? How are you not drooling over the idea of getting your dick wet?...Oh shit!” Deacon’s voice rises. “That’s it, isn’t it? You have somewhere you’re already getting it wet, don’t you?”

I don’t realize I’m holding my breath until I hear his response.

“My business cousin.” I don’t have to see Cade to know his jaw is locked tight.

“Since when? You’ve never kept your social life secret from me before. Is it Maddox? You spent the night last night. Tell me it’s Maddox,” he presses.

My breath gets trapped in my lungs as I strain to hear Cade’s response.

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Cade warns.

“Why not? I know you think he’s hot, don’t tell me you don’t want to hit that.”

“Of course, he’s hot. But he’s not like the trust fund people who roll through here. He’s got shit he wants to do with his life. He’s too good for the guys in this town,” Cade says with authority.

Too good for the guys here? I apologized for acting like an entitled prick, but does he still see me that way?

“Lots of people have stuff they want to do with their lives, that’s never stopped you hooking up with them before,” Deacon grumbles.

“Cause they wanted a hook up. Madd’s better than that. If he’s into a guy it’s for more than his dick.”

“He told you that?”

“He didn’t have to. And I’m gonna respect it.”

“Oh, I get it. He doesn’t want you, so you respect him,” Deacon goads him. Cade doesn’t take the bait.

“I respect that he doesn’t see me as just something to fuck,” he says evenly.

Huh, maybe he did take my meaningless comment correctly.

“Okay, cool. So, you respect Maddox, which means he’s not getting your dick wet, so you’re free to go on the hunt for that bachelorette party this weekend,” Deacon insists.

“Damn you’ve got a one-track mind. How the hell are you the one with a degree when you can’t even focus on work for, like, two minutes?” Cade complains.

“It’s a gift.”

Cade chuckles, a cross between annoyed and amused. “Well, ‘gift’ me a hand so we can finish this and break for lunch. I need you to take me to my truck so I have a way to get out of here later.”

“I can just take you home. ”

“I can’t leave without checking on Maddox and I don’t want to interfere with your prowling.”

“You’d rather play nurse than find someone who can deep throat? Who are you and what have you done with my cousin?” Deacon demands.

Either Cade answers too softly for me to hear, or he doesn’t have one to give.

***

“Come in,” I call when I hear a soft knock on the door. Cade pokes his head in, his searing blue eyes seeming to relax only after they’ve settled on me. I hate the way that makes my blood heat.

“How are you feeling?” He strides toward the couch where I’m lying down, ankle propped up.

“Okay.” I look at my puffy foot. “I still haven’t put much weight on it yet, but the swelling is down, and it doesn’t hurt as bad as it did.”

“Want me to take a look?”

His touch would only bring back the tingly feeling I shouldn’t pursue, but that doesn’t stop me wanting it. “Sure.”

I hold my breath as Cade’s fingers slide over my skin, so he doesn’t see how much his touch affects me. It’s so tender, and for a moment I imagine he’s touching me like that because he wants to, not because he thinks my injury means I need him to be gentle.

“It does look better. You’ve been icing it all day.”

“Yes.” I nod solemnly

“Good boy. ”

Whatever blood isn’t currently filling my ankle starts rushing to my dick, and I discreetly pinch my thigh in an effort to derail my arousal with pain.

How is it he can take care of me and turn me on at the same time? And since when do I want to be a good boy? Damn I’m in trouble.

“Thanks again for looking out for me,” I rasp as I prop myself up to sitting. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done.”

“You kicking me out?” He looks at me warily, almost like he’s sad I’m giving him permission to go.

“No.” I shake my head. “But I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me.”

“I don’t mind taking care of you.” His blue eyes look sincere, but I’m not sure I trust them.

“I’m sure you’ve got better things to do though.”

“I don’t.” His brows draw together, like he’s not sure what my point is.

“Yeah, but Deacon was expecting you--” I start to remind him, before I think better of it. I’m not supposed to know, and I cringe at my slip up when his head swivels to the window that’s still cracked open.

“You heard us talking.” It’s not a question.

“I didn’t mean to.” I feel the heat rising in my cheeks.

He sits on the couch, right where he slept last night, and rests his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry.” He hangs his head. “I don’t feel like I have to take care of you, and I really don’t mind doing it. I was just trying to make Deacon feel better about leaving him on his own. I didn’t mean any offense by what I said.”

“You didn’t offend me.”

“I was kind of crude.” I see him wince even though he’s still looking at the ground .

“Maybe, but I think you were trying to give me a compliment.” I smile so he knows I’m not offended.

“I was.” He casts a sideways glance at me, like he’s uncertain of his response.

“Why?”

“Why give you a compliment?” He looks confused.

“Why do you think I’m better than the guys in this town?” I hold my breath.

“Cause I am one,” he replies, like that makes all the sense in the world.

“Am I supposed to understand what you mean?” I frown.

“The fact that you don’t is exactly why you’re too good for us.” He shakes his head.

“I still don’t get it.” I lean forward, though I can’t get any closer with my leg propped between us.

He runs a hand through his hair, like he’s frustrated, or trying to decide what to say. “Things are different here. People are different.”

“How?”

“Well, for starters there aren’t many, and even fewer of them are single.” He exhales as he sinks back into the cushions.

“Okay, so? I’m still confused by how that makes me too good for guys in this town.”

“Have you noticed the type of businesses in this town? They all cater to tourists. Every single one. People don’t come here for a career, they come here to enjoy the outdoors, but winters are harsh so not a lot of them stay. The ones who do… Let’s just say if you’re single you can choose from the same ten other single people, or you can sample the ones who pass through, and they don’t stay around to snuggle, if you catch my drift.”

“Are you saying you use tourists for sex?” I frown .

“It’s a…mutual arrangement.” I’d say he’s trying to justify his actions, only he’s still not looking at me.

“So, you and every other guy in town have casual sex with strangers who come through and that makes you guys not worthy of me?” I borrow his term from earlier.

“Bingo.” He picks at a speck of mud on his pants.

“Well, that’s stupid,” I blurt.

“What?” He turns to look at me and I swear his eyes are wider than normal. Bluer .

“You think I haven’t had one-night-stands?” I balk. It’s not really my thing, but I’ve done it, and right now I feel like saying that might be important to him.

“Uh.” His eyes dart around the room as if he’s looking for an escape. “I think I’m afraid to answer that,” he deadpans. I can’t help but laugh, though when his mouth turns down in a guilty expression I take pity on him.

“Like you said, I’m not into one-night-stands. But just because I’m not doesn’t make me better or worse than the people who like casual sex. Especially when those people are willing to give up a sure thing to help me.”

“Are you complimenting me now?” He cocks an eyebrow in my direction.

“I am.” It’s impossible not to grin when he looks at me like that.

“You think I’m a sure thing?” A sexy smirk tugs at his lips.

“That wasn’t the compliment.” I try to scowl but I can’t because his expression is making me laugh. “Only you could turn a genuine compliment into something dirty.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment too, since you admitted you like my flirting.” He winks just before he stands up. “And now that I know you appreciate my dirty humor as well, it’s time to go before I take it too far. Besides, as you heard earlier, I have no idea how to attach a hoop skirt to a bike, and the race isn’t too far off.”

“Why you?” I blurt.

“Huh?” He looks confused.

“Why are you building her bike?”

“Oh,” he says, and I swear he turns a little pink. “I do some welding.”

“That sounds interesting.”

“Yeah, I guess. Keeps me entertained.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, which I assume means he’s just shared more about himself than he intended to, but now I’m even more curious.

“It’d be cool to see your work.” I hint.

“Yeah? Okay, maybe I’ll show you sometime.” He smiles, although this one is different. It’s not laced with innuendo, it’s genuine. Thoughtful.

He seems to rock forward, like he’s going to come closer, but instead he gives a little jerk of his head. “Have a good night, Maddox.” He turns toward the door.

“You too, Cade,” I call after him.

When the door clicks shut, I let out the breath I’d been holding for most of our conversation. I should be disappointed that Cade is every bit the playboy I suspected he was, but honestly, I’m not bothered. How can I be when he was so honest about it? When he let me see more of what’s beneath the surface?

And I didn’t hate what I saw.