Page 5 of Worthy (Adrenalin #1)

Chapter four

Cade

D eacon and I make plans to meet at the town concert after work, leaving me just enough time to run home for a quick shower. That doesn’t really make me feel clean, though. It only washes off what’s on the surface. My insides are just as murky as they’ve been since this morning, when a beautiful guy had the nerve to tell me— me —he respects how I live my life.

What a joke. Even I know what a poor choice I am for a role model.

At twenty-five years old, most people are starting to make something of themselves. They’ve got some value beyond just swinging a hammer and showing tourists a good time. I don’t. My priorities are to chase as much adrenaline as I can find on the mountain, fuck, and do just enough work to keep my dad’s company running smoothly, in that order. If I didn’t owe it to my dad not to screw up, my job wouldn’t even make the top three.

I’m hardly setting a good example.

Up until today, that didn’t bother me, but knowing Maddox—a friggin PhD candidate for God’s sake—sees something of value in me gives me a sense of responsibility I’ve never felt before. The entire conversation with him has had my stomach in knots all day. I don’t know if I’m feeling guilty that he sees value in me… value I’m not sure is there. Or maybe I’m just scared he’ll figure out he’s wrong about me. Either way, for the first time in—maybe ever—I’m questioning the way I live my life, and wondering what I actually have to offer.

Blowing out a frustrated breath, I jump in my truck and head toward town. My thoughts don’t usually run this deep, and it’s stressing me out. I need to relax with good music, cold beer, and batshit crazy friends. The good thing is, they serve all of those in the park every Monday.

But first…food. Getting drunk on a work night is a bad idea.

I swing by the market on my way to town since they usually have an expansive selection of pre-made sandwiches that travel well. After grabbing one from the deli, I head for the snack aisle for some chips, nearly colliding with Maddox as I round the corner.

Again.

What the hell? I’ve lived here my whole life and never physically ran into anyone, but I’ve yet to go a single day in his vicinity without running into him. It’s like he’s a damn magnet. A beautiful, captivating magnet, drawing me toward him full-force.

Maddox lifts a tentative hand, drumming his fingers in the air. Not only is he smiling upon seeing me–for the first time ever–but it reaches his eyes. It’s genuine. He’s fucking happy to see me, forcing me to resist the urge to smile in return. Shit . “You didn’t run me over this time.”

I try to keep my own expression blank—our earlier conversation and the subsequent soul searching still playing on a loop in my mind—though as per usual, my first instinct is to flirt. Maybe congratulate him on being able to find the market without my help or insist he’ll need me for something else, but that would only invite more conversation. On the off chance that conversation could be as intense as the one we had earlier, the one that left him with the impression I’m a good role model, I shouldn’t encourage anything that will make him think I have redeeming qualities.

I don’t.

Never have.

Never will.

There’s only one thing I’m good for right now, and that’s a good fucking time.

“Guess this old dog can still learn a few new tricks,” I tease, finally finding my voice. “Pretty soon I won’t get in your way at all.” I start to walk around him but he blocks my exit.

“You’re not in my way.” Maddox looks at me curiously, like I’m not making any sense.

Maybe to him I’m not, but I’m trying to be a good person here. You know, the whole turn-over-a-new-leaf thing. And I might not be currently in his way, but he’s certainly in mine.

“Oh, good. Well, see you around then.” I nod and try again to move past him, but he stays still.

“Something wrong? You’re not usually so anxious to get going.” Those inquisitive gray eyes search mine.

“Just running late.” I should’ve realized by this point he’s used to me prolonging our conversations instead of dodging them, so I probably seem like an ass, but that’s better for him. Right?

“Yeah, okay. Later.” A deep line separates his brows.

He sounds disappointed. Is he disappointed? Do I want him to be? No—don’t go there.

Before my mind can fully spiral, Dex comes down the snack aisle and slaps me on the shoulder. I suddenly hate living in a town so small you can’t make it out of the store without seeing someone you know.

“Is this our new neighbor?” He checks Maddox out—not in a sexual way, more of a curious one—no doubt trying to discern what it is about the guy that has me intrigued. Suddenly, I’m regretting letting on how I’m also into dudes. “Yeah. Uh, Maddox, this is Dex.” I point to the big oaf. “He owns The Underground on Main Street. Dex this is Maddox, Rick Gerome’s nephew.”

“Welcome to Katah Vista.” Dex holds out his hand and he shakes it. “How do you like it so far?”

“Um, fine, I guess. I haven’t explored much, though.” His eyes cut to mine a fraction of a second before he focuses on Dex.

“Do you have anyone to show you around?” The quick glance Dex sends my way probably looks innocent enough, but I know him well enough to know he’s trying to put me on the spot. He may be a chill guy who doesn’t really gossip, but he’s not above a little ribbing between friends, especially when I’ve handed him something to goad me about on a silver platter. Fucker.

“I’m good. If I need any help, I can always ask Cade.” That makes me unreasonably happy, and it’s all I can do not to let my face show it.

“Ah good.” Dex’s expression remains neutral, although I hear the slight challenge in his voice. “So, you’ll be joining us for the concert?”

Shit. I didn’t see that one coming.

Maddox looks at me, gray eyes cloudy with what almost looks like disappointment. Fuck! There’s no way around it, I’ll have to invite him, and if he comes, we’ll both be on a stage I’m not sure either of us want to be on just yet.

I muster the most genuine smile I can find, hoping he can’t see the anxiety beneath it. “There’s music in the park every Monday. You’re welcome to join.”

“Cade, you didn’t invite him already?” Dex arches his brows. Dammit! He knows I’m more predator than protector, and the more time I spend with my client’s nephew the harder it will be for me to behave. Stupid prick is enjoying this .

“I didn’t think I’d get off work in time,” I explain, more for Maddox than for Dex. “Do you want to come? I can grab another sandwich.” I hold mine up for his inspection.

Maddox looks from me to his half-fullcart to Dex, and suddenly I know exactly what he’s thinking. Rather than go home and work like he came here to do—like the good boy he is—he’s going to do the opposite of what he normally would. He’s trying to live for himself and not for other people.

God, I hope following my stupid example doesn’t take him too far off course.

“Yeah.” He gives me a subtle up-nod. “Sounds fun.”

“Great.” Dex’s grin is so wide it splits his face. “See you over there.” He heads for the register, leaving me alone with Maddox.

“You want to finish shopping?” I point to his cart, hoping the question will diffuse the awkward silence.

“I’m not sure the food will keep in the car.” He gnaws on his lip as he seems to mentally catalogue the contents of his cart. The somewhat nerdy act seems out of place on a man who looks more like a jock than a bookworm, but at the same time it’s pretty fucking cute.

Why is it cute?

I do my own scan of the items in the cart, not seeing anything that looks too perishable. “Remember it gets cool in the evenings, so everything you have will probably be fine. Why don’t you check out and I’ll get another sandwich?”

“Okay, yeah.” He nods almost methodically and turns the cart toward the registers.

“Anything you don’t like?” I ask.

“Not really,” he says over his shoulder.

“Okay. Meet you out front. ”

I find Maddox outside, groceries already stowed in his car, and lead him to my truck to drive into town. Even though it’s pretty big, with just the two of us it feels confining, like we’re sitting on top of each other, which makes my palms feel sweaty on the steering wheel. With a shaky inhale, I do my best to focus on driving.

“What band is playing?” I feel his eyes studying my profile.

“I don’t know.” I keep my baby blues glued to the road, where they should be. “I never really pay much attention to who’s playing since there’s a different band every week, and none of them are exactly big names.”

“Are they local?”

“Some.” I stare straight ahead, deliberately averting my gaze from the thighs that fill out his jeans. “Some are from other parts of the state, but these are free concerts, so you don’t usually see a name you recognize. It’s really more of a giant community picnic with background music than an actual concert. Dex made it sound more impressive than it is.”

We pull to a stop along the road a few minutes later, and Maddox offers to take the food while I carry a blanket and a cooler. Hundreds of eyes follow us as we make our way toward my usual spot, left of center stage toward the back, where most of my friends are already seated. To Maddox they probably seem innocent, a curious glance to check out the new guy, but I’m well aware what’s designed to come off as casual interest is much more than that.

People are watching for confirmation the rumors about me are true. A flirty smile. A hand that lingers too long as I guide him through the crowd. I honestly don’t care if they want to be in the know, but it’s not fair to Maddox that he be the topic of their conversation simply because of my actions, so I’m careful not to do anything that would fuel speculation. Plus, I really am trying to behave .

As I spread out the blanket, my back to Maddox, I shoot a warning glare at my friends. While they’re more subtle about their curiosity, it’s clear to me they’re a little surprised to see me with a guy, even though Deacon and Dex undoubtedly gave them the heads up. I’m sure they’re dying to ask questions, which I’ll answer, just not tonight.

Once the blanket is set and we take our seats—a respectable foot of distance between us—I gesture to the rest of the group.

“Deacon, you know.” I point to my cousin. “Then Dex.” He raises a drink in salute.

“How did the two of you meet?” Maddox doesn’t miss a beat and I can’t help the smile that creeps up at his curiosity.

“Dex showed up here one day about ten years ago. He’s a few years older and was already out of high school, but my friends and I kept running into him on the mountain when we’d skip class, and in exchange for showing him where to ride he’d let us hang out at the bar until the big crowds came in around nine or ten.”

“How old were you?” His eyes seem to narrow as he does the math.

“Fifteen. He didn’t serve us or anything, but he might’ve pretended not to notice when we’d sneak a beer. Mostly, we just played pool and hung out somewhere other than our houses.”

Maddox nods along but doesn’t press further.

“Next, is Ryder.” I point to the average-sized guy sitting next to Dex as the band starts playing. “He lives here but he’s on the circuit, so he travels a bunch during the winter.”

“Circuit?” He leans in to speak so I can hear him over the music, but I barely register his voice over the sweet scent of orange mixed with pine that lingers on his skin.

Why does he have to smell so good?

“Yeah, he’s a snowboard racer.”

“You mean like going around the poles?” His head tilts curiously to the side.

“More like speeding down a narrow track.” I exhale to keep his scent away from me. “Blake used to be on the circuit,” I point to the tall and lean guy next to Ryder, “but he blew his knee and only skis for fun now. And mountain bikes. He works at the resort on the mountain.” I leave out how he works as a masseuse and likes to brag about all the hot women he gets paid to touch.

“Last, there’s Finn and his wife, Ally.” He follows my arm to the couple sitting to his right. “Finn works up on the mountain, and Ally has a store on Main Street. They moved here a few years back when he took over operations at the resort.”

“You manage the whole mountain?” Maddox’s wide eyes register shock. Finn is sorta young for such a big role.

“For now.” He offers a weak smile.

“The family who own the resort are selling it, so we’re expecting big changes. Any word on the new buyer?” I sit up straight so I can see Finn over Maddox’s head.

“Nothing confirmed, but I saw Carter Quinn here the other day.”

“Whoa.” Ryder whistles. “Dude’s a legend.”

“ Was . Blew his knee a few years after I blew mine.” Blake sips on his beer. “You thinking he might be the new buyer?” He looks at Finn.

“Family’s got money.” Finn nods absently.

“At least he has the right background.” Ryder elbows Blake. “Guy who’s raced for a living couldn’t totally screw things up.”

“Guy with too much of daddy’s money can always screw things up.” Finn shakes his head in warning.

I feel rather than see Maddox tense beside me, but when I cut my glance in his direction nothing looks amiss. Unless you count the pinched brow, which to me looks like he’s reading into Finn’s comment, and not in a good way, so I decide to give him some background.

“We’ve lived through new owners before. Some have money but no experience and let things go to shit, others throw a bunch of money toward the wrong improvements. You never know what you’re gonna get,” I say as I pass him a sandwich.

“No more work talk,” Ally says in her mom tone. She isn’t one, but she keeps us in line like she is. “Ideas for Pedal—go!”

The guys shout ideas as Maddox leans closer than I’d prefer so only I can hear his question.

“What’s Pedal?” His husky almost-whisper has the hairs on my neck perking up the way they do when sensual fingers travel along my body, and it’s everything I can do not to shiver.

That’s inconvenient.

“Every year there’s a bike race to benefit a local charity.” I prop my arms on my raised knees to keep them from brushing against his and bringing on the goosebumps.

“But they’re talking about costumes. Don’t racers have to wear a uniform, or a bib?” He frowns.

“If it were an actual race yeah, but this is one of those things where people pledge amounts based on distance. If you do five laps, you’ll generate less than if you do ten laps, that sort of thing. You do as many laps as you can during the timeframe. And you can do it in teams. We usually all form a team, and since Ally has a boutique in town she likes to dress us all up to fit the theme we’re going with.”

Fun fact about Katah Vista, everything is done in costume. Parades, charity events, races, you name it, it’s an excuse to wear something ridiculous. I’m not sure where the tradition comes from, but it’s been around longer than I have and I was born here, so it’s like part of the town's DNA.

“You do this race?” Maddox raises a thick brow in disbelief.

“The whole town does the race. Why do you think I wouldn’t?”

“I can’t picture you on a road bike.” He frowns, a soft breeze sending a wayward strand of hair across his face, and I grasp my wrist in my hand to keep from reaching for it.

“You got me there.” The grin I’m desperately trying to hold back makes a brief appearance—he’s got me pegged already. “But this isn’t a road race. Well, not entirely.”

“Where do you race then, if not on the road?”

“All over.” I gesture to the town around us. “Some of it’s on paved road, some on gravel. And it’s not a winner take all race, remember, so no one rides anything for speed. You ride for comfort. My bike has a nice comfy banana seat.”

That makes him snort.

“What’s so funny over there?” Dex’s booming voice interrupts.

“I was just describing my bike to Maddox.” I sip my beer.

“You tell him you need an extra-large seat so it can fit your giant cock?” Ryder snorts.

Madd’s face starts to turn pink as my friends take turns shoving Ryder and telling him not to be a dick, although truth be told, I’m surprised it took this long for someone to make it weird. At least Ryder’s version of seeking confirmation I’m into a dude was posed as a typical bro insult rather than an outright inquisition.

“Is that any kind of way to talk to our new neighbor?” I pluck a blade of grass and roll it between my fingers, effectively dismissing the comment so Maddox doesn’t overthink it. I get the feeling that big brain of his would get stuck on it otherwise.

Ryder has the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry,” he mumbles.

For good measure—and a somewhat lame attempt to spare Maddox further embarrassment by painting my friends as idiots—I tell Ryder, “It’s all good. Last time you poked fun at my seat you said I was overcompensating, so at least now we’re moving in the right direction.”

“If we’re done talking about your dick,” Ally starts, “we should add Maddox to our team this year. I was thinking of a Ted Lasso theme. You’d make a perfect Trent Crimm, if your hair were darker. Would you color it?” she holds her breath, waiting for Madd to respond.

“Who are you going to be then?” I ask to save him from Ally’s attention.

“Rebecca.” She holds out a lock of her reddish hair as if to say ‘duh.’

“Rebecca’s blonde”

“I’ll wear a wig.” Ally shrugs as I feel a slight tap on my arm. I turn to look at Maddox, trying not to notice he’s close enough that I can make out a few tiny freckles on his nose.

“What is Ted Lasso ?”

Thank God I register the hint of wariness in his eyes before the laugh escapes my throat, because I’m pretty sure he’s embarrassed by the fact he doesn’t know what we’re talking about. I cover my near miss with a little cough.

“It’s a TV show on Apple . It’s about an American football coach who goes to England to coach football over there, only it’s really soccer. Ally loves it. You’ve never heard of it?”

He gives a curt head shake.

“Ally roped us all into watching, and I have to give it to her, it’s actually a pretty decent show. I’ll help you find it,” I offer without thinking.

Shit, between working at his house, the bike race, and now showing him a popular TV series, I’m going to have way more contact with Maddox than I planned to when I left his house earlier today. But how do I change course now? He’s asking questions like he wants to learn more about me, my friends, the race… And Ally’s already designing his costume in her mind, I can see it. It’d make me a huge dick to try to keep my distance, even if I’m doing that for his benefit.

“Can you make me something to keep my coat from getting in the way when I pedal?” Ally’s question brings me back to the present.

“I’m sorry, what? ” My tone catches the attention of the rest of the group, who all zero in on our conversation.

“Rebecca’s a boss bitch. In one episode she’s wearing this long black coat with this killer pillbox hat, and I found the perfect replicas, but I don’t want the coat getting caught in the wheel.”

“You’ll roast in a long black coat.”

“It’s not wool,” she retorts like I’m supposed to know what that means. “I just need like a frame or something the coat can drape over so it doesn’t get stuck. Like a hoop skirt. Can you build me something like that?”

All inquiring eyes bore into me, but one pair just looks flat-out confused. Great . Keeping Maddox at a distance keeps getting harder, because I can tell he wants to know more, which means telling him something about myself I don’t share with many people. Hell, even my friends only know because Deacon broadcast it when he came for the summer a few years back.

“I have no idea,” I tell Ally honestly, ignoring the blatant curiosity pulsing off the man next to me. “I’m not sure what a hoop skirt is, and while I could build a frame around your bike, I don’t know how comfortable it would be for you to ride. I’m not sure you could get on and off around the frame, or even if I can make that frame detachable so it’s not permanently stuck to your bike.”

“If I have to buy a cheap bike you build a permanent frame on, I can do that. I’d probably be able to reuse it with other costumes.” Ally’s eyes are about ten times bigger than normal, and a quick glance at Madd tells me his are full of wonder. Great .

“Whoa, slow down, Al.” Finn sets his hand on his wife’s leg. “This is starting to sound like a lot of work, and I’m not sure Cade has that much time to commit. The race is in a month.”

Ally’s face starts to fall, but seeing as she’s Finn’s wife, and a friend, I hate to disappoint her. “Tell you what,” I offer. “Find me a bike to play with and I’ll see what I can do. No promises though, so you better have a backup costume.”

“Of course, no problem,” Ally beams.

She so won’t have a backup. And now Ally’s given Maddox another thing about me he wants to get to the bottom of.

I’m trying damn hard to be good, but I’ve never been known for my restraint.

Fuck my life.