Page 19 of Worthy (Adrenalin #1)

Chapter eighteen

Cade

″ Tell me again why we’re here,” Deacon interrupts the thoughts that have been playing on repeat. “The parade starts in less than two hours.”

It’s the Fourth of July, one of the busiest days of the year because of the parade we host, and it’s getting so popular you have to get there early to get a good spot.

“Beck needs my truck to pull his float. I need to get all these tools out.” I gesture to the boxes in the bed. Normally, I keep my tools in my garage, but since I’ve been staying with Maddox more often than not, it’s easier to leave them in the truck. With his uncle’s garage nearly done, I can store them in there while giving Beck more room.

″We couldn’t have done this yesterday?” Deacon grunts.

″Didn’t think about it until this morning.” I scratch my head, realizing I need a haircut.

″Too busy thinking with your dick,” Deacon mutters under his breath, just loud enough for me to hear him.

“What’s that mean?” I turn to face him, gritting my teeth .

“You’re still staying here every night, and today is the Fourth, the day you hyped all last year as being the perfect time to find a bunch of hot women wearing skimpy outfits,” he complains.

This is another popular day for costumes, and while I draw the line at wearing a flag, I’m playing along and wearing a royal blue velvety shirt matching Madd’s stars and stripes one. One guess where they came from .

″It is, so you’ll have plenty of opportunity.” I lift one of the boxes off the truck.

″But I won’t have a wingman.” Deacon scowls as he lifts another.

″Get Ryder. Or Blake. You don’t need me.” I walk toward the garage, hoping that’s the end of it.

″I know. But I envisioned this summer going much differently.” He follows me. “We were supposed to hang out and go crazy the way you always bragged about, and instead you’re spending all your time with Maddox. I like him and all, but I thought you were going to fuck him out of your system and move on.”

″Those are your words, cousin, not mine.” I shoot him a warning look. “I said I couldn’t get him out of my head and was tired of fighting it.”

″So, haven’t you got him out of your head, yet?” Deacon scoffs.

″Not even close.” I set my box down and open the door, holding it ajar so he can pass.

″But you’ve been practically inseparable. How is that possible?” He steps inside and sets the toolbox on the floor.

″I don’t know,” I fib, because no way I’m telling Deacon how I really feel. I barely understand it myself, not only because I’ve never been serious about anyone, but I always figured if and when it happened, it’d be because of a girl. This urge to be around Madd all the time is new on so many levels, but the one thing it isn’t is scary. I may act o blivious, but I know why that is, I’m just not ready to admit it. “I’m just always anxious to see more of him.”

″That’s not like, boring, or anything? The same guy every night?” He looks at me skeptically, assuming I’m only talking about sex. I know it wasn’t too long ago I thought the same way, but right now I struggle to believe I ever thought sex was the only thing I could get from another person, or that monogamy could be boring.

Putting aside the fact I’m not always trying to get in Madd’s pants when I’m with him, our chemistry is off the charts. By now, I’ve got a pretty good handle on what he likes, which I’d never know if I’d walked away after that first night, and knowing I can give him what he craves… It makes me want to beat my chest like a caveman.

I’ve always believed myself to be a generous lover, observing what a woman likes so I can be sure she gets what she needs during our encounters. But I’ve never been as fascinated by a woman’s reactions as I am by Madd’s. I never paid much attention to those little cues until him, and now I’m proud to say I know the difference between the sounds he makes, and how to use that knowledge for his benefit.

Maddox inhales sharply when he feels something he enjoys, like when I push all the way inside him. If I do that slowly, it’s followed by a soft grunt, faster a moan. If I hit a particularly sensitive spot, the moan gets higher in pitch, and if I keep at it, I can get him to scream. My favorite is when I bring him to the brink and back off, which has him grasping and pawing at me with a needy growl.

Before Madd, moans, groans, and screams all meant the same thing; yes. Now, they could mean faster, slower, harder, right there, more, or I’m coming. And I friggin love how I can speak that language.

″Honestly, I think it’s better with one.” I’m not going to betray Madd’s dignity by saying any more, even to my cousin .

″Dude, you’re kind of scaring me with that talk.” I swear he actually shivers.

″Then don’t listen.” I haul my box inside and turn to leave. “If you want a bunch of different women, go to the parade and find a few. You won’t have any trouble.”

I send Deacon on his way with a promise to find him in town. I know I’m disappointing him by not being there for him this summer, and I feel bad about that. Not bad enough to waste any of the time I have with Maddox, though. I’ll always have Deacon, but I may not always have him.

Maddox and I make the short drive to town and deliver my truck to Beck in the parking lot where they’re staging the parade. We make plans to meet at The Underground later so I can get the keys back, but Maddox and I head there now since Dex usually sets aside a spot for us right out front.

The crew is already there when we arrive, and I pour Maddox a Bloody Mary from one of the pitchers Ally brought with her in a little camping wagon.

″Wow, you guys come prepared.” He takes the plastic cup I hand him.

″We’ve been doing this a long time.” Dex lifts his cup. “Tradition.”

″Yep.” Ally nods. “Breakfast and drinks along the parade route, lunch at Ryder’s since his house is just a few blocks away, fireworks in the park, finish at The Underground.” She toasts Maddox.

″What is it with this town and your all-day parties?” He wonders aloud. “I don’t know where you find the stamina.”

″Tradition,” Dex says again.

″Pace yourself,” I whisper to Maddox with a quick kiss to his cheek, which earns me a scowl from Deacon and heart eyes from Ally .

We have an hour before the parade starts so I grab a barstool from one of the outdoor tables lining the street and pull Maddox between my legs so I can bear some of his weight. An endless stream of friends and neighbors pass by on their way to find a spot, and normally, I’d get up and talk to each and every one to pass the time, but right now I’m content to just nod hello while I hold Maddox to me and run my finger along the smooth skin of his hip just underneath his shirt. Not to tease him, but to commit the feel of him to memory.

″Have you ever been in the parade yourself?” Maddox absently runs his hand over my thigh as we watch people pass.

″A few times. Mostly as a kid when different classes or clubs made a float. I drove Beck’s float a few years ago, but then you don’t get to just enjoy the day, so now I lend him the truck every year.”

″Is he an only child, too?”

″Yep. I used to get stuck watching him when our parents would hang out, and he’d make me watch cartoons and play superheroes.” I pretend to shudder.

“How awful for you.” Madd snorts.

“When I was fourteen it was,” I defend myself. “He’s always been on the small side, so he looks younger than he is, and he’s kind of a dreamer so he gets lost in his head a lot. Plus, his mom taught dance at the rec center and made him take all her classes. The other kids couldn’t really identify with him, so I’ve tried to look out for him and include him with my friends once he was old enough.”

″I can see how that would make him like the brother you never had.” His fingers dance along the underside of my knee.

“Beck’s a good kid. I tease him about being like my annoying little brother, but I love him like he really is.” That’s the first time I admitted to anyone, including myself, how deep my affection for Beckett is. It’s kind of a big deal since I’ve never really been a ‘feelings’ guy, and Maddox must realize it because he rescues me before I can analyze it further.

″Next you’re going to tell me you actually liked playing superheroes, even at fourteen” he growls against my ear.

″Tell anyone and I’ll have to make out with you right here where the whole town watches,” I whisper back.

His Adam’s apple bobs thickly when he swallows, though he recovers faster than I anticipate. “They already think we’re living together, what could a little PDA hurt?”

I bark out a laugh. That’s not at all the response I’m expecting, and his little show of bravado has me both amused and proud. Before I realize it, I’m holding his face in my hands, trying to reign in my laughter. “God, I love y…our spunk,” I amend right before I kiss him.

Damn that was close. I almost told him I loved him. I’m not even sure what I actually said, I just know something came after love, and hopefully if it didn’t make sense my kiss distracted him.

″Get a room,” Ryder snorts.

I flick him off. That was definitely a PG kiss, but I pull back anyway, afraid of the expression I’m going to see on his face.

″Spunk?” He wrinkles his nose.

Huh ? Not the best choice of words, but I can work with it. At least he heard that instead of what I almost said. “Yeah, you know. Spirit. Courage. How you don’t back down when I bait you, even if it makes you a little nervous. Spunk.”

Madd regards me warily as he says, ″When you put it that way, I guess it could be a compliment.”

″It is a compliment.” I plant a brief kiss on those soft lips. “Come on, parade’s about to start.”

I put my hands on his waist to help him to stand and set the stool aside so people can crowd together for a better view. Since we’re at the edge of the sidewalk I position Madd in the street and stand behind him, using the extra few inches I gain from the concrete to wrap my arms around his shoulders. He folds a hand over my forearm, and I swear the gesture damn near makes my heart beat out of my chest.

I can’t get enough of this man. Touching him, talking to him, laughing with him, I’m like a fucking junkie hoarding everything I can get, and it’s not enough. It’s never enough.

Maddox laughs from deep in his stomach as the floats roll by, not bothered in the least that the floats are really just trailers decorated with streamers and poster boards, most carrying little kids in costume.

There’s a float for the Little Mountain Bikers Club with kids in helmets and pads, there’s one for the Wildflower Club with kids dressed as flowers, and the dance float Beck chaperones with his mom is full of girls in pink frilly costumes who are spinning and twirling, which Maddox whistles at using two fingers so the effect is loud and shrill. There’s also a firetruck, a float with all the town veterans, and one from the local gift store that’s tossing out candy to the kids. In other words, there’s nothing really spectacular about this parade, but Madd’s smile is so big it’s like he’s at Disneyland.

When the parade is over, Ally latches onto Maddox to ramble about how adorable it was, something she long ago stopped doing with the rest of us since we never shared her excitement. At first, I figure Madd’s just being a good sport and letting her talk, but the more I watch him the more I think he’s genuinely into it, and the affection he has for our goofy little town parade has me smiling like a fucking loon.

I catch Finn’s eye and he gives me a helpless little shrug along with a knowing grin, and in that moment, I realize he’s probably the only one of my friends who gets me right now. We’re both aware the parade was nothing to write home about, but seeing Ally and Maddox smile so genuinely about it is better than an epic bike ride and the perfect powder day combined.

Finn knows I get that now, which means he also knows how I feel about Maddox. I close my eyes and exhale, acknowledging my feelings, then shake my head slightly to let him know this stays between us. He nods in return before reaching for Ally and pulling her to his side. I do the same to Maddox, because I can’t stand not touching him.

″Ready to head over to Ryder’s?” Finn plants a kiss on Ally’s forehead.

″Yeah. You guys are coming, right?” she demands, turning to me and Maddox.

I let my arm slip from his shoulder and thread our fingers together. “Yep, as soon as I get my keys from Beck. He should be bringing them along any minute and then we’ll meet you there.”

Right then, a pair of arms are flung around my neck, and I’m tugged slightly downward for a suffocating hug.

″Cade, where have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere. I’ve even been to your house the past three days, but you were never there.”

I pull the arms from my neck with my left hand, since I’m still holding Madd’s hand with my right, and stand to my full height, looking down on the beautiful brunette who, until this year, was my go-to fling on the Fourth. I totally forgot about her.

″Ashley, hey.” I nod.

I notice my friends all rooted in place around me, their eyes darting between this little standoff, waiting to see how it will play out. I admit it’s not ideal to run into Ashley right now, but I’m not worried about it since I don’t have any secrets from Maddox.

″Happy Fourth. We were just heading out.” I give Madd’s hand a squeeze and start to tug him with me toward the bar .

″You can’t leave now that I’ve found you. Where have you been, anyway? You usually aren’t this hard to find.” She reaches out to stroke my chest, apparently oblivious to the fact Madd’s hand is still tucked in mine. I’m stunned silent, not because I don’t know how to answer but because I can’t believe Ashley would touch me when I’m clearly with someone else. I take a step out of reach and open my mouth to speak, but it’s not my voice that comes out.

″I’m sorry, I guess you didn’t realize. Cade moved in with me.” Maddox dislodges our fingers to wrap his arm around my shoulder, and I grab him around the waist in return.

“I suppose we have been sort of hibernating at home, haven’t we?” I grin at the man whose eyes are level with my own.

Damn he’s a vision, looking at me like there’s no one else around. This is a side of Maddox I’ve never seen, and it gives me hope he’s not claiming me just for the day or the summer, but forever. Instead of putting that into words, in case I’m wrong, I do the only thing I can think of. I kiss him.

″Who’s this?” Ashley gapes.

″This is my man,” I answer without taking my eyes off Maddox. His stormy gray eyes turn almost silver as he smiles, and I can’t help it, I kiss him again. I’m vaguely aware of Ashley watching in disbelief, but I can’t bring myself to care. Maybe that makes me a dick, but all that matters right now is Maddox, and making sure he knows he’s the only person I want.

By now our friends have drifted, realizing there isn’t anything to be concerned about. I break away long enough to tell Ashley to have a nice visit, then I pull Maddox with me into The Underground. The moment we’re through the door, I press him up against the wall and kiss the fuck out of him, getting lost in his lush mouth, the thrill of my man claiming me, fueling my need .

″That was so fucking hot,” I mumble against his lips. “I like this possessive side of you.”

″I’m not possessive,” he protests.

I cock an eyebrow.

“Okay, maybe I was a little. But she was rude. And forward.”

″Probably my fault.” I rub the back of my neck. “Ashley comes here every year for the Fourth. It didn’t even occur to me that she’d be here. I’m sorry.”

″It’s not your fault she was forward. What kind of woman comes onto a guy while he’s holding hands with another man?” he rants, his cheeks getting pinker by the second.

″Shocked the hell out of me too. But it was kind of worth it to see you stake your claim on me.” I press my body to his so he can feel how much I liked that.

″Of course, that makes you hot.” Maddox rolls his eyes. “I guess I should be glad you didn’t suggest sleeping with both of us since you apparently like people fighting over you.”

Maddox isn’t usually sarcastic, so I’m not sure if he’s making light of Ashley’s advances, or if me wanting other women is something he’s worried about. I need to make sure he knows my dick isn’t the only part of me that likes what he just did.

I cup his chin in my hand and force him to look in my eyes. “I don’t like people fighting over me. I like one man fighting for me. There’s a difference.”

He snorts.

″I’m serious.” I stroke his sexy stubbled chin with my thumb. “It’s like I told Deacon, I’d rather have one person than many.”

″You talked to Deacon about us. About…why would you do that?” He frowns, pushing at my chest .

I capture his hands in mine and hold them between us. “First, I wasn’t just talking about sex. I was talking about everything we do together, whether it’s just sitting at home or watching a parade. I only want to do those things with you. Second, I didn’t tell him anything private, and I wouldn’t. All I told him is, I prefer to sleep with only one man instead of a bunch of different women. It’s less distant, more intense.”

″You really believe that?” He gives me a critical once over.

″I do,” I tell him, knowing full well that’s only true for him, because of how I feel about him. Since I can’t say that all I can do is relate it to sex, the one language I can speak freely. “Deacon thinks variety is what makes sex fun, and I admit I used to think the same way. Now, I know different. I know every inch of this body, Madd.” I drag my finger up his side, skirting his pec.

He sucks in a ragged breath.

I lean into him so I can whisper in his ear. “I know how to make you gasp. I know how to make you moan. I know how to make you scream. I know what to say to make you hard, and I know what kind of touch to use to take you over the edge. I can make this body do whatever I want, and that gives me more pleasure than I’ve ever had. With anyone.”

″Oh.” His whisper comes out like a growl, eyes glued to my lips.

″Yeah, oh . That made you hard, didn’t it? Thinking about how good I can make you feel. All the sounds I can get you to make,” I growl in his ear as I slide my finger under the waistband of his shorts, teasing the fine hairs at the top of his happy trail.

His hips roll towards me, and I drag my hand down to cup the bulge between his legs.

″Do you have any idea how hot it makes me to see the way your body responds to mine?” I groan .

″It does?” he inhales sharply.

″Hell, yes.” I grind against his thigh as I rub his sac, and his head falls to my shoulder with a ragged moan.

″Should we be doing this here?” He pants as I stroke him.

″Want me to stop?” I hold my hand still.

″No,” he growls.

″Good, I wasn’t going to.” I nuzzle his neck as I resume stroking him over his shorts.

″What if someone comes in?” His eyes dart to the entrance.

I reach over to the door and twist the lock. “They won’t.”

I’m expecting that little gesture to help Maddox relax, and I guess it does, if the way he claws at my shorts is any indication.

“Take my dick out,” he grunts as he works mine free.

“You gonna fuck me up against the wall?” I wrap my hand around his length and give it a firm tug.”

“Not today.” He urges me to stand straight with a gentle push to my chest. “You’re gonna want to see this.”

The last time Madd said that I had the pleasure of watching him jerk us both off, so when he swats my hand away from his cock I don’t protest. I just stand there and watch, awed, as he presses the tip of his crown to mine and covers it with his foreskin.

I was not aware such a thing was possible, and now that I’m witnessing it… There aren’t words for how erotic it is.

With just his thin little layer of skin covering me it looks like we’re sharing a foot long dick, and though I can’t see where I end and he begins, I can feel it, and that tiny bit of friction right on my slit is nothing short of heavenly. It’s literally the most intense pleasure I’ve ever felt, right up until Madd starts stroking us, and I feel his silky smooth skin rubbing over my crown .

“Holy shit,” I gasp, bracing my hands against the wall on either side of his head to keep myself upright. “You’ve been holding out on me.”

“Not holding out, just waiting for the perfect moment to blow your mind.”

“What makes this the perfect moment?” My eyes try to roll back in my head as Madd’s hand shuttles over our cocks, but I force them to stay locked on the hedonistic display before me.

“You were bragging about how well you can work my body, so I had to show you you’re not the only one who’s been paying attention.”

“I…aaah” I’m so blissed out I can’t even form a response.

One of my most favorite things in the world is having someone else play with my dick. Stroking it, sucking it, riding it… I fucking love watching other people use it. I love when that person is Maddox above all else. But having him work my cock while it’s blanketed by his foreskin is like reaching enlightenment.

I feel the pressure of his hand, just like always, but there’s an added softness, a silky glide that’s new and different and utterly sublime. It takes all my restraint to keep my hips from pumping into his hand, and based on the way Madd’s biting his lower lip as his fist travels over us, I’m not the only one on the verge of losing his shit.

Chests heaving, nostrils flaring, we’re both desperate and frenzied, a chorus of grunts and moans echoing in the cavernous room around us as the rhythmic slapping of skin on skin drives us toward release.

“Jesus fucking... I can’t hold back. I can’t.” My voice comes out like a whimper as my balls draw up tight and I explode, the wet heat of my cum out from under his foreskin. Madd milks me for every last drop, the squelch of my release as it’s spread over our shafts a filthy symphony that sends him careening over the edge mere seconds after me .

“I’ll forgive you for holding out on me if we do that again. Soon,” I pant against his neck.

“Define soon.”

“Tomorrow. Pretty sure you emptied me out til at least then.” I kiss his neck, tasting the salty tang of sweat we just worked up.

“Deal,” he grumbles just as the door rattles.

I stand to my full height and lock eyes with Madd, whose expression is the epitome of caught in the act. “Bathroom is all the way in the back,” I tell him as a loud knock reverberates around us.

Madd rushes off while I tuck my spent cock away and open the door for Beck.

″Sorry man, didn’t realize that it was locked.” I open the door so he can step inside.

He gives me a skeptical once over before handing me my keys. “Thanks again for the truck. I left it in the public lot. Where is everyone?” He tries to peek around me, but I don’t think he saw Maddox racing to the bathroom.

″Ryder’s. We’re headed there now if you want to come with us.” I pocket the keys.

″Maybe I’ll stop by later. I still have some cleanup to finish.” He jerks his thumb over his shoulder and starts to turn toward the door.

My memory drifts back to what I told Maddox about him at the parade, and I wonder briefly if Beck knows I’m not teasing when I say he’s like my little brother. I should probably tell him, but I’ve never specifically said it before, and I’m not sure how to. So, I say the first thing that comes to mind. “Float looked good this year.”

He stops cold and turns. “Since when do you pay attention to the floats?” Beck knows all too well I’m usually socializing or drinking during the parade, and don’t often notice much else. I can tell he’s a little stunned .

″Uh, since Maddox enjoyed it.” I rub the back of my neck.

″That’s what I thought.” he grins knowingly.

“Whatever. Get out of here.” I give him a playful shove in the arm, hoping it’s too dark in here for him to see the way I’m blushing.

***

Maddox is deep in conversation with Ryder and Blake, trying to follow why they think snowboarding is better than surfing, while we wait for the fireworks to start. Normally I’d be all over that debate, but I’m doing my best to give him a little space. Not that he asked for any, but because I think I need it.

Today has been perfect, so much so I don’t want it to end, and that’s a dangerous way to think when I know our time is limited. But damn if I can turn off the voice trying to convince me this is real.

I got so wrapped up in the moment earlier, I almost told him I loved him, and I flat out admitted I like how he got possessive over me. Plus, after foregoing condoms, meeting my parents, and what we did in the bar earlier, I know he’s giving me some of the firsts a guy like him normally saves for someone special. All of that makes it so tempting to believe I won’t lose him to his career, but he hasn’t given me any indication he wants me to be part of his life, and unless he does, I don’t see how I can mess with his dreams.

So, I’m trying to put a little distance between us right now to regroup and get my mind right. I’m hoping this will make it easier to get through the fireworks, which I know he’ll watch from my arms.

“Just tell him already,” Finn says quietly as he hands me a beer.

″Not that easy.” I shake my head as I accept it.

″Not that hard either.” He looks at me pointedly .

″Maybe not for you, but Ally wasn’t chasing a big-time career she’d have to put on hold to be with you.” I nod subtly toward his girl.

″Sure, she was.” He takes a sip of his beer. “She wanted to be a fashion designer, and instead she owns a boutique.”

I didn’t know that, but I press on, undeterred.

″She can design stuff anywhere though, right?” I raise my eyebrows.

″True, but it’s a harder path to do it alone than to work under a big label and build up your references.”

″I hear you, but I’m not sure Maddox can do all his science stuff from here. It’s not like there’s a lab around town.” I stare at the ground so he can’t see how much that bugs me.

″What do you mean, science stuff?” He cocks his head.

″Oh, uh, Climate change, alternative energy, monitoring plants.” I lift a shoulder, realizing that since I’ve been so consumed with Maddox, I’ve never actually talked to the guys about what he’s doing here. What he wants to do.

″I’m no scientist, but I would think you could do all that stuff anywhere.” Finn sips his drink.

″He wants to do stuff with water. You see any water around here?”

″Snow becomes water,” Finn deadpans.

″Pretty sure it’s not the same thing.” I roll my eyes.

″Okay, what if you went where he needed to go. You can do construction anywhere, right?” I know he thinks he’s helping, but that’s not actually a solution.

″Leave Katah Vista? Who will take over my dad’s company?”

″You say that like you’re thinking of taking it over. You never seemed interested in running things before.”

He’s got me there .

″Still not. Yet. I always knew it would happen one day though. I just didn’t feel the need to rush into it,” I admit what I’ve never really said aloud.

″So, what are you saying? You want to stay here and take over?” He seems surprised. I guess after years of shunning responsibility I can see why.

″That’s the plan.” I sip my beer. I may have been putting it off, but I resigned myself to this fate long ago.

″But would you be happy?” Finn frowns.

″Sure, why not? Having my own company would be a nice setup, and I’d still have the mountains.” I stuff my free hand in my pocket.

″The only thing I’ve seen you really truly happy about is Maddox, and if he’s not here I’m not sure your nice setup will cut it.” He actually looks worried. Shit.

Finn isn’t telling me anything I haven’t thought about already but hearing it out loud has a way of making it real. So real, the thought of living here without Maddox makes it hard to breathe, and that feeling doesn’t go away until he’s sitting between my legs with my arms wrapped around him as we watch the fireworks.