Page 12 of Worthy (Adrenalin #1)

Chapter eleven

Maddox

“ D isgusting, isn’t it?” Ally says.

″What?” I sip my drink, a plain old vodka tonic, just like my grandpa used to drink.

″You know.” Ally rolls her eyes. “No wonder these guys are perpetually single, women literally fall at their feet.”

I look down the bar to where two women are blatantly throwing themselves at Deacon and Cade. If Cade weren’t standing behind the bar the blonde would be climbing him. I think under normal circumstances he’d let her, but according to Ally he’s not acting normally.

I want to believe that’s because of me, but I can’t let myself go there right now. Things are too fragile after last night, and I’m resolved to give him the space he needs to figure his shit out. Although, if I want him to realize that he’s worth more than a good time, these women certainly aren’t helping my cause.

″Do they do that to everyone, or just Deacon and Cade?” I’m slightly afraid of the answer .

″I think Deacon and Cade are the first choice, and let’s be honest I get why. I mean, Finn’s hot and I love him, but those two are on another plane entirely.” She looks at the two men in question.

I nod, agreeing with her.

″But really any attractive guy in this town will get hit on by the women coming through. And they’re only too happy to be noticed since there aren’t many women here year-round.” She gives me a sad smile, almost like she’s apologizing for their behavior.

A flirty laugh pulls my attention toward the women, and I see one smiling and batting her eyelashes at Cade. He’s smiling back, but it’s not the flirty one he wore the first few times I met him. It’s not even a genuine one. It’s polite. Forced. It’s not easy to watch women throw themselves at him after what we shared last night, but it’s marginally better knowing that he’s not enjoying it.

″Now this is interesting,” Ally says, following my gaze. “Cade doesn’t look like a man on a mission tonight.”

″No?” I inquire.

″No. And I gather, based on the tension between him and Deacon earlier, that he hasn’t been on a mission in a while.” She pulls the straw between her lips, letting that little hint linger.

″By mission you mean…”

″Yes,” Ally interjects. “That’s exactly what I mean. And that’s not like him at all. Neither is bartending.”

″He doesn’t bartend? He seems to be doing a good job of it. Whatever drinks they wanted he knew how to make.”

″He’ll help Dex out when needed, but he doesn’t usually stay behind the bar, and he’s usually close enough to be groped.” She seems on the verge of elaborating but takes a sip of her drink instead.

″Women do that?” I gasp, my gaze shooting around the room. “Here? ”

″I’ve seen it happen more than I care to admit. That’s why I usually only go out when town is a little quiet. My eyes don’t see things they don’t need to see that way.” She shudders.

I swallow a laugh. Ally in no way strikes me as prude, but she definitely doesn’t like watching her friends get manhandled.

I look up to find Cade studying me. Apparently, I didn’t do as good a job at containing that laugh as I thought. I watch him thoughtfully, curious about the almost pained look on his face, which Ally latches on to.

“Okay, that’s like the third time I’ve caught you two staring at each other, not counting what happened in my store yesterday. Spill,” she commands.

″Spill what?” I take another sip of my drink.

″Why Cade isn’t acting like himself. He’s practically stopped flirting. Deacon seems upset with him, which I’m guessing is because Cade is no longer acting as his wingman, and he’s looking at you like some abandoned puppy. What happened?” She looks at me pointedly.

″Nothing happened,” I insist. Unless you count a couple of mind-blowing kisses, but as much as I like Ally that doesn’t feel like her business.

″So, he’s acting pussy-whipped without getting any pussy?” Her mouth drops open.

″Jesus, you sound just like Deacon.” I swirl my glass on the bar, recalling the conversation I overheard between him and Cade.

″What can I say, their caveman language has rubbed off on me. But seriously, you haven’t…you know.” She leans in closer, expecting some juicy details no doubt.

″No. We’ve mostly just talked.” I shake my head.

″Mostly?” She arches her brow. Of course, she’d pick up on that .

″Well, he did have to help me down the trail after I sprained my ankle, and he made me dinner and slept on my couch after.” I huff out a frustrated breath since those were details I never intended to share. “But yeah, mostly we’ve just talked.” I sip my drink, not sure what else to say.

″Well, I wouldn’t have expected it, but maybe that’s his kryptonite.” She shakes her head, bewildered. “And here I thought it was dick.”

″What?” Since the last part of her comment was muttered, I’m not sure I heard it correctly, but she clearly assumes I was asking about the kryptonite thing since that’s how she responds.

″Kryptonite. Achilles heel,” she offers when I don’t react. “Downfall. Jeez, I really am adopting their language. Anyhow, I wouldn’t have thought anything could take Cade off the casual sex bandwagon, but apparently conversation does the trick.”

″I haven’t tried to talk him out of casual sex,” I protest.

″That’s not what I mean, and besides, I don’t think Cade can be talked into anything he doesn’t want to do. What I mean is you just talked, didn’t you? No flirting, no games, just talking. And apparently, he likes that, or he’d be staring down the front of that blonde’s shirt. Lord knows it keeps getting lower every time she leans against the bar.” She shudders in disgust.

I can’t say she’s a hundred percent right, although her observation has some merit. Cade did flirt in the beginning, and I know flirting is his way of talking without saying anything meaningful, so he can keep people at arms-length. But we’ve had some conversations that went beyond flirting, and I think he enjoyed those. I know I did. So maybe actual conversation is what draws us together. Well, that and him being incredibly nice to look at.

I look over to where Cade’s standing upright behind the bar, admiring the way his t-shirt hugs his chest just enough to hint at his physique without looking glued on. Despite the blonde practically laying on top of the bar to push up her cleavage he has a somewhat bored expression, but that doesn’t detract from his piercing eyes and full lips.

The blonde rocks forward, pushing her boobs almost out of her shirt. I catch Ally’s eye and she dissolves into a fit of laughter, which grabs Cade’s attention, and he excuses himself under the guise of needing to check our drinks.

″What gave you two the giggles tonight?” He rests his forearms on the bar and leans toward Ally conspiratorially.

″The peep show you were getting. I bet if you go back over there, she’ll show her nipples.” Ally smirks.

″I should probably cut them off.” Cade exhales heavily. “They were forward enough before Deacon got them all riled up on sex shots.”

″Sex shots?” My eyebrows shoot sky high.

″Yeah. Shots that are named after sex.” He looks down at the bar top, and I swear I see a little pink in his cheeks.

″That’s a thing? And you know how to make them?” I’m intrigued. A little confused, but intrigued.

″It’s sort of a game we play to mess with tourists. They think it’s hilarious.” He gives a guilty shrug.

″Give him an example. Tell him what they ordered,” Ally commands before closing her lips around her straw.

Cade takes a deep breath and lets it out while shaking his head slowly. “Pink Panty Droppers, Wet Pussys and Quick Fucks. You string the names together in a sentence that sounds raunchy but is actually a drink order. ”

″Jesus,” I snort.

″That’s not all.” Ally grabs my arm and leans closer, giggling. “These morons compete to see whose sentence amounts to the biggest order.”

″Who’s winning?” I ask.

Ally nods toward Cade.

″Ok, give me your best order.” I lean closer so I don’t miss a word.

″No.” He stands up straight and crosses his arms.

″Please?” My tongue snakes out to lick over my bottom lip, an unconscious gesture, though he tracks the movement before shaking his head with an audible sigh, like what comes next will physically pain him.

Finally, he rests his hands on the counter and leans forward, speaking in a gravelly voice. “I’m looking for a Nympho to Tie Me to the Bedpost with The Leg Spreader and give me her Hot Pussy for a Quick Fuck, and after that Kinky Orgasm we’ll have a Slow Comfortable Screw.”

″Is that the winning sentence?” My jaw hangs open.

He nods.

″How many drinks was that?” I try to count them in my head as I tick them off on my fingers.

″Seven,” he says evenly.

″That’s all? There have to be more sex drink names.”

″There are, but you can’t just string a bunch of random drink names together. They have to make a real sentence.” He exhales.

″Who’s in second?”

“Ryder, with five.” Cade wants to leave it at that, but evidently, he can tell I’m not going to let it drop because with another sigh he says, “I’m looking for a Clit-Licking Cowgirl to take me in her Deep Throat and give this Cock-sucking Cowboy a Blow Job to get rid of these Blue Balls. ”

I’m laughing so hard I can feel tears threatening to fall. “Holy shit, I had no idea drinks could be so filthy.”

″We’re talking about an industry that encourages a lapse in judgement, of course it’s filthy.” Ally scoffs, trying to contain her own laughter.

″I would’ve thought Dex would be in the lead,” I muse. “He is the bartender.”

″He’s the scorekeeper. He has to make sure the drinks we order are legit,” Cade says reluctantly.

″Have you ever played this game anywhere else? I mean, if you went to a different bar would they know what you’re ordering?”

″I don’t know.” Cade seems surprised by the question. “Most of them are shots so a good bartender would know them.”

″And let’s not give these guys too much credit. I’m sure there are hundreds if not thousands of horny guys out there who play the same stupid game.” Ally ads with an eye roll.

″That should be a bar game, or a theme night. Dex could host the sex drink championships and people from all over could compete for the title.” I grin when Ally collapses into another fit of giggles.

″Jesus,” Cade mutters. “Between your game show antics and Deacon’s half-dressed new friends I’m going to have to cut off everyone in this bar.”

″I think Deacon’s half-dressed friends want you to undress them.” Ally nods towards the group of three down the bar. Deacon’s wearing a ‘get your ass over here’ expression while the blonde is visibly pouting that Cade isn’t watching her.

″Huh?” he grunts.

″Those girls aren’t…I mean, he won’t take advantage, right?” I ask.

″What? No, he’d never do that,” Cade insists. “I haven’t served them that much, and he wouldn’t cross a line. But trust me, if those g irls weren’t interested, they would’ve walked right past him when they first came in. He’s not giving them attention they don’t want.”

″Okay,” I concede, because it does certainly look like they’re enjoying themselves. Well, the brunette anyway. The blonde is still looking at Cade like she wants to lick him from head to toe, and it’s not a good look. It’s too desperate. If that’s how women usually look at him, it’s no wonder he’s convinced he’s got little more than a good romp to offer.

The thought sours my carefree mood.

″You aren’t going to partake?” Ally goads Cade, and I feel my cheeks turn pink because I know she’s using me to try to force Cade to talk. Not maliciously—I get the sense she’d like to fix us up—though I’d rather not be present while she tries to do it.

He shoots her a pointed look. “It’s already past my bedtime on a work night.”

″I didn’t know you had a bedtime.” Ally pokes him further.

″I wouldn’t expect you to, since you don’t share my bed.” He glares at her.

“Touché!” Ally laughs, letting him off the hook.

″Need anything else, or can I clock out now?” he asks dryly.

″I’m good,” Ally sing-songs like she’s proud of having pushed his buttons.

″Me too.” I’ve got just the slightest buzz going on, and that’s my cue to stop since I have work to do tomorrow.

″How are you getting home, Madd?” Cade asks, his tone suddenly gentle.

″My car is still over by the park.” I pull a twenty out of my wallet to pay the tab.

″I’m parked that way too. I’ll walk with you.” He waves away my money and puts his own in the register .

″Okay.” I stick my twenty in the tip jar instead, earning another frown from Cade. He comes around the bar to meet me and we say our goodbyes, earning a sly smirk from Ally, and an annoyed glare from Deacon.

″So, who came up with the drink game?” I ask as we step into the chilly air.

″Ah, that was me.” He rubs his hand over the back of his neck.

″You can’t just leave it at that. What made you think of it?”

″I had to look up the recipe for a drink one time when I was helping Dex.” He exhales. “I jumped behind the bar because he was swamped, kind of like tonight, and even though I didn’t know how to do much else than pour beers I figured another set of hands would help him. Then this girl comes in asking for a fancy drink I’d never heard of, and Dex was too busy to jump in, so he told me to look it up. I found a book of drink recipes, and as I was flipping through, I found a couple that were…” He shakes his head, searching.

″Suggestive?” I supply.

″Yeah, you could say that.” He chuckles. “The next time I was in the bar I grabbed that book and started reading it, then ordered these drinks just to piss Dex off. One time a girl overheard, and instead of being offended she seemed curious. So, I upped the ante and started ordering multiple drinks at a time, but instead of rattling them off like a list I dropped them into sentences. It sort of caught on. Been using it to pick up women ever since.” He shrugs sheepishly.

“The sexy shot game doesn’t work as a pickup for men?”

“I’ve never tried it on a man.”

My feet come to a halt of their own accord. “You’ve never… So, this…” I draw an imaginary line between us. “Never? As in… ever ?”

Cade faces me, a wary expression on his face that I can’t decipher, which makes it infinitely harder to reconcile what’s happening. Did the notorious flirt just admit he’s a baby bi? There’s no way. He’s too self-assured, too fearless.

“I’ve never been with a man, never picked up a man, never looked twice at… Actually, that’s not true. I’ve been looking a lot recently, I just never felt the urge to act on it.”

“So that kiss…?” The one he abruptly cut off.

“Yeah.” He shoves his hands in his pocket and rocks back on his heels as my heartbeat slows to a crawl.

Oh my God, I ruined his curiosity. “That’s why you stopped.”

“What?” His blue eyes darken as his brows draw together.

“That’s why you stopped kissing me. You didn’t like it. You tried it and hated it and gave me some excuse about your past to spare my feelings. How did I mis-read that?” I run my hand through my hair with a groan.

“I didn’t hate it, I fucking loved it.” Cade’s narrowed brows morph into a full-on frown. “And I wasn’t using my past as an excuse, it’s a legitimate reason for you to stay away. I’m the definition of a player, and for that alone you should steer clear, but add my bi-awakening bullshit and you better believe I’m too much of a risk.”

I’m so stuck on the loved it part that I almost miss the rest of what he says, and while I’d like to focus on the fact I didn’t turn him off guys, his desperate expression tells me now isn’t the time.

“A risk how?” I press.

“The better question is how am I not. I don’t know how to do anything other than hook up, which we both know isn’t in your nature. And don’t even get me started on the bi thing. Aside from the fact it’s new to me, it’s new to the whole damn town. They’ll all be curious about you because of me, and I don’t want to put you in that spotlight.”

That’s a fair point, but not a deterrent considering who made it .

“Being gay I’ve been in the spotlight my whole life. Besides, didn’t you tell me you won’t survive in a small town if you focus too much on what people think?” Cade’s mouth snaps shut at my retort. “And as for your past hookups, you keep talking about them as if they define who you are, and maybe for you they do. But I define you based on what I see, and I see someone who loves life, loves his family and friends, and loves his town. Those are hardly bad qualities.”

Cade stares into the distance, at what I don’t know, though I’m not sure he’s seeing so much as thinking. When his gaze finally meets mine, he says, “What about the bi-awakening thing?”

“What about it?”

“You aren’t afraid you’d be just an experiment for me?”

Back home I would be, but here, where I’m pushing some of my boundaries, it’s less of a concern. Here I have the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone to become a man who’s as self-assured as the one standing before me. And even though he’s right that hookups aren’t in my nature, after that kiss, I’m seriously considering the benefits of doing whatever feels right in the moment, cause God knows that kiss felt incredible.

“Everything’s an experiment, until it becomes more. And we both know since I’m just passing through, it could never be more.”

Cade’s blue eyes drift downward, lips pressed firmly together as he nods. Whether that’s in agreement or merely acknowledgment I don’t know.

I wonder if I ever will.