Page 11 of Worthy (Adrenalin #1)

Chapter ten

Cade

A s soon as he’s gone, I lean back against the counter and rub my hands over my face. That was… I have no fucking idea what that was.

Impulsive.

Insane.

Perfect .

I’ve kissed before, lots of times, but it’s usually a meaningless prelude to other things. A warm-up to get the blood flowing. Once the clothes start coming off it’s done, because there’s other things to do with your mouth. And let’s be honest, casual hookups aren’t about kissing, they’re about coming, so it never meant much to me.

Until now.

I never knew kissing could be so intense, especially the soft, slow kind. I totally got lost in it, forgetting all the reasons I shouldn’t be doing it and focusing only on the feel of Madd’s lips on mine, soft and plump and perfect. I think I could’ve left it like that, slow and sweet, all night. It was hot, yeah, but not in the sense that it made me want to race ahead to the good stuff. I didn’t know kisses could be like that, and in some ways, I liked it even more than the urgent, hungry kissing we shared.

And that was one hundred percent everything I hoped it would be.

If I thought slow and sweet was hot, well, urgent and needy was hot as fuck. That one did make me want to get to the good stuff, but only because it got me so hard so fast, not because I wanted to skip the kissing and go straight to getting naked.

Usually that’s the way it works for me, a little hot and heavy necking to get things running and then plunging deep into whoever I’m with. But with Maddox I liked feeling turned on without the urge to take it further. Just feeling aroused, feeling his hard cock pressed up against mine while we devoured each other, I could’ve done that all night too and been totally satisfied.

Speaking of satisfaction, that hard cock of his was a perk of kissing a guy I hadn’t been expecting and abso- fucking- lutely loved. I mean, with women you never fully know if they’re aroused until you slide inside, but with Maddox… The guy was a steel pipe, and all we did was kiss. That’s a heady experience my body would like a repeat of, but it can’t happen, because as Madd pointed out, it wasn’t just a kiss.

There were feelings behind it. I can admit that now, since he’s not right here tempting me. What I can’t figure out is why he didn’t storm out when I said it wasn’t anything special.

That was shitty of me, but it was the only thing I could think of to get him to take me off the damn pedestal he put me on. I tried telling him it was a mistake to think of me as a good guy, but the stubborn man didn’t listen, and for a second, he made me believe he was right.

Being the selfish prick I am, I don’t regret that, because it led to the hottest kiss of my life. Hell, I think it ruined me. But I’ll just have to consider myself lucky I got to touch him at all, because it can’t happen again. And that’s what really scares me .

Maddox said he wanted me to touch him, and that’s a temptation I’ll be hard pressed to ignore. I’m actually shocked I was able to stop myself just now, and I’m not sure I can do it again, which is why I can’t even let it start.

I have zero idea how I’m going to accomplish that since I’ll be seeing him again in just a few short hours, and every day, for the rest of the summer.

Fuck my life.

***

There’s a ton of work happening at the Gerome house today. Deacon has a few guys working on the new patio, and I’ve got a crew framing the garage and laundry room, which we’re trying to have done by the end of the week. We’re not off schedule, but it’s not impossible to get the occasional snow in June, and the faster we work now the better we can accommodate weather delays that might come up.

The activity is good because as long as I’m moving or concentrating on the job I can’t think about Maddox. Plus, I suspect the increased number of bodies on site is keeping him inside. I know this reprieve won’t last indefinitely, but for today I’ll take it.

These are the kind of days when I love what I do. Sunny but not scorching, a group of guys laughing and joking while we work, and music playing in the background… It’s part social while still getting shit done. These are also the kind of days that make me dread taking over the company one day.

If I’m the guy in charge, I won’t get to have these days often. I’ll be checking in at different job sites to make sure things are going smoothly, spending more time in my truck than outside. I’ll have to manage paperwork shit, like insurance and payroll and scheduling. At some point, I’ll even have to be the one trying to solicit work.

I’m not afraid of those tasks, but I’m afraid of them taking the fun out of what I do. I actually like building stuff, whether it’s houses or the tinkering I do in my studio. I like working with my hands and making something out of parts and pieces. I especially love doing that outside and with a group of guys who keep me entertained. The boss doesn’t get those perks, so if I have it my way, I won’t be stepping into that role anytime soon.

I know the town thinks I’m either too lazy or too focused on having fun to take work seriously, and they assume that’s why I haven’t taken an interest in running things. That’s not entirely true, but their opinions didn’t bother me enough that I felt like I had to correct them. I’ve never had anyone to answer to or impress, so what was the point? Let them confuse my preference for working with my hands as a lack of motivation, it didn’t matter to me. Still doesn’t, truth be told. Except when it comes to Maddox.

He makes me want to care, because even though I know I’m not good for him I don’t want him to think I’m a total fuck up. I don’t want him, a guy who comes from money but is busting his ass to build a career, to think I got my job handed to me and I’m going to ride my dad’s success for a living.

I don’t know why it’s important to me that he doesn’t see a total screw up when he looks at me. Maybe I don’t want him to be embarrassed about being attracted to me. Who knows? But for some reason I don’t want to be the lazy local guy in his eyes, which means I’m actually starting to think about what comes next. I need to start considering whether I’m ready to give up days like today in order to take a bigger role in the company .

Fuck, this guy has me in knots, and all I’ve done is kiss him. I need to get it together. Nothing is going to change today, or tomorrow, or maybe even this summer. I just need to concentrate on the job and try to enjoy it like I usually do.

By the time four o’clock rolls around, we’ve made enough progress that I feel comfortable letting the guys go. There’s enough daylight left that they can do something outside, and since that’s why we live here I want to give them the opportunity to enjoy it. Besides, it makes for a happier crew when you give them a break here and there.

We get everything packed up and I head out with the last of the guys, so I’m not left on site alone. I do a quick ride myself, because floating over the trail on a bike has a way of quieting my mind, then head into town for the weekly concert.

I make my way to the crews’ usual spot and come to a halt. Maddox is sitting on a blanket next to Ally, and now I really am fucked.

Why did I ever introduce him to my friends?

I take a seat between Deacon and Dex and we shoot the shit about which trails are open—since some of the higher ones aren’t accessible until enough snow melts—and which we’ve ridden recently. This is usually one of my favorite conversations, but I’m only half listening, because the rest of the time I’m trying to eavesdrop on Maddox and Ally.

For the most part, they aren’t saying anything interesting. Something about going on a hike later in the week, and... Did Ally just mention her brother? The gay one she said she’d have hooked me up with had she known I like guys. Fuck!

Then Ally has to go and bring up the bike race. ″Okay guys, only two weeks left until the race. Did you all finish your registration?”

There’s a chorus of yesses .

″We have to register?” Madd’s thick brows draw together in a way that makes him look part confused, part distinguished, and seriously fucking hot.

″Of course, it’s a race,” Ally replies.

″I thought it was for charity, not a real race.”

″It is, but you still have to register. I think that’s where most of the money comes from because the town's too small to really get a bunch of people pledging money for laps. Most of them ride in the race anyway, so they aren’t going to pledge money toward someone else’s laps.”

″Makes sense. How do I sign up?” He looks around the group for input.

″I’ll take care of it,” Dex offers, and I feel my whole body constrict.

″You don’t have to do that,” Maddox says.

″I don’t mind. You register at the post office and that’s right next to the bar. I can do it tomorrow,” he says casually as Madd gives him a curt nod of thanks.

Okay, that makes sense, but it still has me on edge. Maddox is my— friend —so I should be registering him, right? But I can’t object without causing a scene, so I pick up a blade of grass and pretend to study it while I stew quietly.

″Perfect.” Ally claps. “I’ve ordered stuff for the costumes. Finn and Ryder have coach’s uniforms, and Deacon, Dex and Blake get soccer uniforms. And I’m still good on the bike?” she prods, brows arched in my direction.

″I’m on track. But don’t get your hopes up that it’ll be comfortable or pretty. It’s strictly for function,” I warn, because if there’s one thing I know about Ally, it’s that she likes things to look good, and this will not meet her standards .

″I thought it looked good,” Maddox volunteers, and I swear you could hear a pin drop even with the band playing in the background.

Great . Of course he had to mention that.

″You saw it?” Ally gasps.

“Yeah, why?” Maddox is oblivious to the eyes pinned on him.

″Cade doesn’t show his stuff to anyone,” Deacon says. Traitor . “Not unless it’s finished, and even then, he might not.”

Though technically true, I don’t keep people out because I’m sensitive or embarrassed about the work, I just don’t invite them in because it’s my place to unwind when I can’t get outdoors, or when I need quiet. It’s not off limits, but I don’t encourage visitors either.

Maddox looks at me with wide, guilty eyes, like he just divulged some taboo secret. He didn’t, but the others will make a big deal of him being inside the studio. I want to be pissed, because I don’t need that drama, but it’s not his fault. All I can do is try to diffuse this.

″I don’t show you my stuff cause none of you have ever asked to see it,” I say dismissively.

″Not true.” Dex shakes his head. “I’ve asked if several pieces in your house were your work.”

″You have.” I nod, my jaw firm, a silent warning to drop it. “But you never asked to see what I’m working on.”

″Semantics,” he huffs.

″None of you like the studio.” I try a different tactic. “You think it’s hot and cluttered.”

″That is true.” Ally chews on her lip, throwing me a bone. “It’s stuffy and kind of smells.”

And now Ally’s bike has earned some more of my attention, to see if I can make it look a little nicer.

″Well, what if I want to see it then?” Deacon puts me on the spot.

″You don’t need an invitation. ”

″How come Maddox got one?” Damn, he’s ornery today. I wonder what’s got him so hung up on this.

I sneak a glance at Maddox and find him staring at the ground, hair hanging around his face so you can’t see his cheeks, which I’m betting are probably flushed since I suspect he hates having all the eyes on him.

″He didn’t. He asked to see it. And he had a suggestion on how to build the damn thing anyway, so it made sense for him to take a look.” I pin Deacon with a glare that says, back off.

“So, the bike is almost ready?” Ally gets us back on track, but I don’t miss the way her eyes study me and Deacon.

″Yeah, almost ready,” I soften my tone. “When you get your fancy coat come over and you can try it.”

Ally squeals and claps her hands, and it’s hard not to smile at her excitement. She may be nosy, but she’s good for a laugh.

″Hey.” Finn waves his hand to get my attention and jerks his head toward the sidewalk. “Is that who I think it is?”

Deacon, Dex and I all turn in the direction he indicated. A dark-haired man is walking hurriedly past the park, giving everyone in his path a wide berth and avoiding all eye contact. Since no one is ever in a hurry in this town, there’s only one explanation. He doesn’t want to be noticed. But as a former professional ski racer and rumored new owner of the resort, he’s out of luck.

″Sure, looks like it. I guess the rumors are true, huh?” I shoot Finn a questioning look.

″Don’t look at me.” He holds his hands up in front of him. “They don’t tell me anything.”

″You’re the Director of Operations,” Deacon calls bullshit.

″That means I make sure the lifts are running, the mountain gets groomed each night and enough employees are scheduled each day. T hey don’t include me in anything else, including whether they’re really gonna sell the place.”

″I don’t think we have to speculate about that anymore.” I watch Carter Quinn as he fades in the distance, hoping he’s up for the task ahead.

Everyone’s mood sours a bit after that. Fear over the fate of the resort that employs the bulk of the town weighs heavily in the air, but once the concert is over, Dex bribes us all with a free drink if we go to the bar, so he doesn’t have to go by himself.

I know he loves his job, but I’m sure it’s hard to go off to work by yourself after hanging out with friends, especially when the night is still pretty young, and especially on a Monday, which usually isn’t a busy night.

We all take seats at the bar and sip on our drinks while Dex does some housekeeping, washing glasses and stocking bottles. It’s pretty laid back for about thirty minutes, when out of nowhere a group of twenty or so comes in. It’s a mix of men and women, all in their early twenties, and no sooner do they step inside than Deacon cozies up to the cutest ones in the bunch. Without thinking, I jump behind the bar to help Dex with the rush, something I’ve done before when he unexpectedly gets slammed.

″Crap, the photography club,” Finn moans. “I totally forgot they were in town. Sorry, man,” he tells Dex.

It’s not unusual for different organizations to have conferences or meetings in town, although it is a little early in the season for that. Finn usually gives Dex a heads up, since he works on the mountain and knows the big events coming up, but this one must’ve slipped his mind. It’s no big deal, I don’t mind slinging drinks once in a while, and it’s good business for Dex. I do hope they make it an early night because that was my original plan.

The first several orders are easy, guys asking for beers, but the ladies are more indecisive. That doesn’t bother me except for the fact my idiot cousin is pushing some of them at me and making absurd suggestions about what they should order.

″My cousin makes a great Sex on the Beach,” he tells one brunette.

″We aren’t on the beach,” she giggles.

″He could give you a Quick Fuck if you prefer.” He winks at her.

″That’s actually a drink?” A nearby blonde asks.

″Is it?” Deacon grins at me, daring me to object.

″Maybe the lady would be more comfortable with a Cosmo,” I say, because it doesn’t suggest anything, and it’s easy to make.

″Where’s the fun in that?” Deacon scoffs. “But you’ve made me rethink, cousin. We should make sure these ladies have Wet Pussys before we give them a Quick Fuck.”

″Are we still talking about drinks, or what comes after?” The brunette bites her lip suggestively.

″Either. Or both,” Deacon grins wickedly.

Dammit . A few weeks ago, I would’ve been totally into this scene and gearing up for what comes next, but right now I couldn’t be more bored. I suppose the two women Deacon’s entertaining are good looking, but neither of them do anything for me. Nada. Zilch...And honestly, I don’t feel like flirting with them. With the way Deacon’s throwing out sexy drink names it certainly seems like that’s my goal, and the blonde’s looking at me like she’s into it.

Fuck .

″Tell me when you’re ready, I’m going to see if anyone else needs anything.” I jerk my head towards the rest of our group sitting further down the bar. Before I head in that direction, I sneak a quick peek at Maddox. He’s deep in conversation with Ally, but suddenly looks up at me like he can feel me watching him .

He doesn’t smile or laugh or give any sign of what he’s thinking. I hold his gaze for a second, trying to understand if it means anything, before Deacon interrupts.

″The ladies will start with a Pink Panty Dropper, and we’ll see where the night goes from there.”

I groan inwardly and make the drinks, doing my best to be polite without encouraging them further.