Page 17 of Worthy (Adrenalin #1)

Chapter sixteen

Cade

I ’ve spent my whole life in this town, twenty-six years, and I’ve done this bike race every single one of them, to the point the monotony of this day was wearing on me. Until this year.

Even I’m not dense enough to question why that is.

I fucking loved having Maddox next to me all day. Putting aside the fact he’s so beautiful and so genuine, he makes everything better just by being there. I don’t think he stopped grinning all day long. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling when I looked at him, nor could I stop touching him. What’s even weirder is that I wasn’t touching him to tease him or make him aroused or anything. I just liked the feel of his skin against mine, introducing him as my guy and seeing the way he tried not to blush each time I said it.

Plus, I got to experience this day through his eyes, which kind of made me love it again. He was so awed by all the costumes, so impressed with how the whole town got involved, so humbled by how nice everyone was. He didn’t tell me any of that, not verbally anyway, but I could see it in his eyes. I could see him falling in love with this town, and the selfish bastard that I am makes me wonder if he might like it enough to stay .

I realize that’s an absurd thought. He’s got big goals for himself, and I’m not sure they can be met here. I’m also not sure he’d be content with the small-town life or could deal with the winters we have. Beyond all that, the thing I’m most unsure about is whether he’d be willing to stay here for me , which I find myself thinking about as we drive back to his place.

It’s a thought that’s crossed my mind with increasing frequency.

Being with Maddox feels right in a way nothing else in my life ever has. I’m not trying to imply I’ve had it rough—by most accounts my life is the stuff other guys dream about— and I’m grateful for that. But it was my life alone. I didn’t have anyone to share it with.

A few weeks ago, that didn’t bother me in the least. I thought being alone was the ideal way to go through life, or at least life in my twenties, and any thoughts of being with someone started and ended with the notion of having a good time between the sheets. The idea I could commit to one person, in and out of the bedroom was… absurd.

Yet instead of feeling confined in this arrangement, like I kind of expected, I feel relaxed. Happy. And while the sex is off the charts, I don’t feel like that’s all I have to offer Maddox since there are times we hang out without fucking. Yes, I chased after him because I wanted to experience the raw, primal urges I thought only another man could give me, but I ended up finding someone who gets me on a deeper level. Someone who makes me think and laugh and contemplate my future. Makes me want to be a better person.

I wonder if that means I’m starting to fall for him? Or maybe I already have?

That’s why a part of me is hoping he falls in love with this town, because if he does, maybe he’ll fall for me too.

I hold on to that fantasy for the drive home, Madd’s hand linked in mine. But reality sets in as I pull onto his street and spot the familiar silver truck parked behind the Subaru. I had hoped to put this off a bit longer seeing as how my folks have been on vacation the past few weeks, but they should’ve got home earlier today, so I’m actually lucky they waited until now to confront me.

Maddox notices the car as we pull into the drive, but he doesn’t press me for any details when I tell him I’ll meet him inside, which is a welcome relief. I give him a soft kiss and whisper that I won’t be long, pointing him toward the back door.

That nagging feeling that I might want him to be more than a fling intensifies as I watch him walk away before rounding the front of the house to meet my dad on the porch. The casual way he’s leaning on the railing doesn’t hide the look of concern on his weathered face.

″He’s got a pretty look about him,” he begins as I take a seat in one of the rocking chairs.

″Wait til you see him without the hair dye.” I push up on the balls of my feet so the chair starts to sway, an outlet for my restless energy.

″This been going on since you lent him your truck?” Dad watches me closely.

Whoever spilled the tea didn’t spare any details.

″No, I really did do that to be nice.” He doesn’t need to know I was hoping the gesture would help me get closer to Maddox.

Dad nods his head. “Were you hoping to keep this a secret?”

″No. But I was hoping I’d have a chance to tell you before you heard the rumors.” Dad’s brow lifts as he cuts me a knowing look, implying I should know better. “Yeah, yeah. I still thought people would give you at least one night home before they start jabbering about me.”

“Considering the nature of what they had to say I’m surprised we didn’t get a phone call on vacation.”

“Fair enough.” I rub the back of my neck, dreading where I think this is going. “You here to tell me this is a bad idea? ”

″Maybe.” He cocks his head. “But not for the reason you think.”

I’m not expecting this, and I don’t have a response for it. The rocking chair stills as I go tense, bracing for what he has to say next.

“You’re expecting me to tell you it’s a bad idea to get involved with the client’s nephew since it could jeopardize business?”

″Isn’t that why you’re here?” I felt pretty certain my folks wouldn’t care about me taking an interest in a man—they’re hippies at heart—but I feel a bit of relief knowing his issue is about Madd’s relationship to our client, not his gender.

″That’s why I came here, but not what had me concerned.” Dad shakes his head slowly.

″What has you concerned?” My heartbeat slows, wondering what else could make him look so grim.

″That you’ve fallen for him,” he says matter-of-factly.

″I…what?”

″I saw the way you looked at him just now, son.” He exhales deeply.

The rhythmic beating of my heart that nearly stopped seconds ago now echoes in my chest. “I…well, I like him, yeah,” I stutter.

″Give your old man some credit, Cade. I know love when I see it. Now, I admit I came over here expecting to tell you to be careful about having a little fun with the wrong person, and I’m glad to see that’s not what this is. I’m glad to see you happy.” He smiles, although it looks more sad than pleased. “But that raises a whole new set of concerns for me. If I remember right, he’s not staying here past the summer, and I don’t want to see you get your heart broken. Does he know how you feel?”

″ I don’t know how I feel,” I admit, which seems to shock both of us. I love my dad, and I know he loves me, but we’ve never really had the kind of relationship where we talked about feelings. Not that we don’t talk, we just never really got into the emotional stuff, and we especially didn’t talk about guys. I don’t know how to have this conversation. I don’t know what to say.

″You aren’t sure if you love him?” Dad asks hesitantly.

″How would I know that?” I throw my hands up. “I’ve never had a boyfriend before. Until Maddox I never even went on a date.”

″You went to prom.” Dad’s brow furrows in confusion.

″In a group, not with one specific girl. I was always more interested in playing on the mountain or playing tour guide than hanging out with one girl. Or guy.” I rub my hand over my face. “Until these last few weeks, I still was.”

Dad nods thoughtfully. “So, now you’d rather spend time with him?” he guesses correctly.

″I still play on the mountain,” I protest, thinking about how Maddox makes me ride while he finishes his work, and then we hang out after.

″Why are you smiling?” Dad asks.

“I’m smiling?” I wasn’t aware I had been.

″You’re doing it again,” Dad says.

Huh. I lean against the back of the chair and look up at the stars. “Maddox makes me ride a few times a week,” I admit. “He doesn’t want to keep me from doing my own thing.”

″But you would, to spend time with him?” Dad’s gaze drifts toward the house.

″Yeah.” I nod, keeping my eyes on the sky.

″Then you need to tell him.”

″Tell him what, exactly?” I meet his gaze.

″How you feel. That you want him to stay. I assume him staying is what you want…” he trails off, waiting to see if I’ll agree or object.

″He’s got p lans that don’t involve staying here, and I don’t have plans to leave. I’m not going to mess up what he’s worked for by asking him to stay here.” I gesture to the space around us.

″What’s wrong with here?”

″He’s studying for his PhD, Dad, what could he possibly do with that here?” I shake my head.

″I don’t know. But if he knows you want him to stay, maybe he’ll try to figure it out.” He makes it sound so simple.

″And why would he want to figure that out? Because I ask him to stay? I don’t know if he feels that way about me.” I can’t afford to let myself think he might. To get my hopes up.

″He makes you bike a couple times a week,” Dad says.

″So?” I set the chair rocking again. Why can’t he just drop it?

″So, he doesn’t want to get in the way of the things you love, same as you don’t want to get in the way of the things he loves. You don’t make that effort for another person if you don’t care about them.”

″Care about me, sure. I know he cares about me. I don’t know if that’s enough to stay here, though,” I exhale.

″That’s why you have to tell him how you feel, Cade. Give the two of you a chance.”

″You really think he’d stay?” Dammit, now he’s got me wondering.

″Only one way to find out, son.” He steps to me and claps my shoulder. “Talk to him.”

″Yeah, okay,” I nod absently. “I’ll…I’ll do that.”

Dad gives my shoulder a firm squeeze. “And bring him over for dinner. Mom will be pissed if you hold out on her much longer.”

″True,” I chuckle as Dad makes his way to his truck. “Night, Dad.”

″Night.” He climbs in the cab and drives away .

Well, that was unexpected. Instead of a lecture about being reckless and immature I get a lecture about going after Maddox for real. But is it that easy?

Deep down, I suspect my dad could be right about me loving him. I’m still not ready to call it love since it happened so hard and so fast, but hearing him say it out loud… I realize it’s probably true, or on the way to being true. There’s no other way to explain this need to be near him, this desire to have him stay.

Fuck if I know what to do about it though.

I appreciate my dad’s perspective, but this thing was always supposed to have a time limit and changing the rules in the middle of—whatever we are—seems like something the old me would do. Not to mention the fact it’s still hard to believe this is happening even though it’s happening to me . And who knows what Madd thinks of all this.

Could he feel the same? Would telling him how I feel make it easier for him to stay, or harder to leave? I’m not exactly a catch for a guy like that, and I’d never forgive myself if I distracted him from the career he’s been working toward, so until I have a better sense of how he’ll respond, I should probably keep my thoughts to myself.

***

“Everything good?” Maddox is toweling off when I finally make it to the bedroom, his hair back to the dusky blond that makes his tan skin glow.

My eyes rake over his gorgeous body, catching on a stray water droplet that rolls down his sexy abs. “It’d be a whole lot better if you drop the towel. ”

Madd studies me with the pensive expression he gets so often, and while I’m no better at deciphering it today than I was a few weeks ago, I feel pretty confident saying tonight he’s pondering whether I’m trying to use sex as a diversion from the conversation I just had outside.

He wouldn’t be wrong, but he wouldn’t be right either. Naked Maddox is just too great a temptation to pass up regardless of anything else I have going on, which he must conclude since he drops the towel and shows me his mouth watering cock.

I close the distance in three steps and drop to my knees, pressing my face against his groin to inhale the fresh scent of soap that lingers on his skin. Then I lick a fat stripe from root to tip and seal my lips around his crown.

“Jesus.” He threads his fingers through my hair, more so to hold himself steady than to keep me in place.

I hum in response since my mouth is otherwise occupied, wedging my tongue underneath his foreskin to lick around his tip before slurping on the head. The moan that spills from his lips is indecent, and for the millionth time since we first hooked up, I’m envious of his dick. Not the size or the shape, but the thin little flap of skin that seems to drive him out of his mind when I play with it, which is my new favorite thing.

Sometimes I simply run my finger over it, using Madd’s own skin to massage his crown. Other times I pull it back and deny him the extra friction. Once I even sucked so hard I swear it stretched over his entire cockhead. His release had filled my mouth so quickly afterward, I swore I had to be dreaming.

Ever since, it’s become my favorite fucking way to torture him, to tease him, to drive him mad until lust clouded his eyes and my name fell from his beautiful lips. Today would be no exception .

Madd’s hips rock gently forward as I lap at his cock, his soft groans echoing throughout the room each time I take him deep and slowly retreat. It’s a sound I don’t think I’ll ever tire of, not only because it’s so sexy, but because it’s so gratifying to hear the effect I have on him.

Looking up from my knees, I can see how tight his stomach is coiled. How fixed his jaw is. How hard he’s straining to hold still, and let me have my fun when the urge to move verges on overpowering.

There’s only one thing I want more than to see him lose control and come down my throat.

“Fuck me,” I rasp as I pop off his shaft.

Maddox stares down his body, chest heaving, pupils blown so big his eyes look more black than gray. “On the bed. Clothes off.”

I shoot off the floor like a rocket and strip down, flopping onto my back spread eagle.

“Someone’s anxious.” Maddox chuckles as he grabs the lube from the nightstand.

“You’ve been prepping me for weeks,” I grumble, since he’s been annoyingly careful about not wanting to hurt me with his generous dick. “I’m not giving you a chance to change your mind.”

“A bad first time can be the difference between going vers or strictly topping.”

“So you keep reminding me.” A contented moan rumbles from my throat as the first finger goes in, bringing with it the full feeling I’ve been chasing more of.

His second finger brings forth a happy sigh when it starts to scissor deep inside me. “Remember, the prep is just as much for me as it is for you.”

“How do you figure?” My hips arch upward as he works in a third and starts to pump .

“I’d like to actually fuck you, but if I don’t loosen you up first, I’ll blow on the first thrust.”

“Fine, be super thorough,” I grunt. “Just don’t hit my prostate. Save that for your dick.”

Maddox gives me one of those eye rolls that’s supposed to signal he’s annoyed when really he’s amused. I pull that expression from him a lot.

Eyes closed, I take deep, methodical breaths as Maddox swirls his fingers inside me. It feels incredible, though by concentrating on my breathing I’m able to keep my body from getting too stimulated. Finally, after what feels like forever, he withdraws his fingers and lubes his cock.

“Ready?” He holds himself poised at my hole.

“Seriously?” I bark.

Madd’s lip quirks up before he leans forward to give me a chaste kiss. “Tell me to stop if I hurt you.”

“Yes, Dad.” That earns me another eye roll right before the pressure on my hole intensifies, and my body tenses involuntarily.

“Relax,” Maddox says gently.

“Yeah, I…” I grunt as my mind wars for control with my body. “I got it.” It takes a minute for my mind to claim victory, but once it does the tension leaves my muscles and Madd pushes inside.

The invasion is… not pleasant. It doesn’t hurt exactly, but I feel overly full and that’s not at all what I was expecting. I huff out a frustrated breath right as I come to another startling realization.

“Nooo, why is my dick going soft?” I whine.

“It happens sometimes before the burn switches to pleasure.”

“Make it stop. Pump my cock.”

Maddox shakes his head curtly. “I can’t move, or I’ll blow. Just hold still for a second. ”

He pinches his eyes shut while I silently beg my dick to wake up, and when that doesn’t work, I try subtly rocking my hips to fuck myself on the cock buried inside me.

“You are shit at following instructions,” Maddox grunts.

“Take it out on my ass,” I snip, which is maybe the wrong response since he pulls out and slams home in a thrust that has starbursts exploding behind my eyelids. For a brief second all I see is a blinding white light, though as it fades, I register the fissures of electricity coursing through my body, and the blissful weight of my cock filling.

“Like that?” Madd growls.

“Just like that.”

The Greek god above me rears back and snaps forward again, only this time he doesn’t pause, he just keeps ramming into me with reckless abandon, panting and grunting each time he bottoms out. It’s not at all what I expected, given that he’s been so worried about not hurting me during my first time, so I can only assume this animalistic version of Maddox has appeared because I told responsible Maddox to check out, and he’s lost to his baser urges.

I fucking love it.

He’s driving into me with single-minded focus, cock nudging my prostate with each thrust. The ecstasy I feel each time he makes contact with that sensitive bundle of nerves doesn’t have time to dissipate before it’s mounting again, sending me into a pleasure spiral that has no beginning and no end, just a prolonged, seamless sensation of bliss.

I’m vaguely aware of my toes curling, and since I can’t place the sounds surrounding me, I’m forced to acknowledge they might be my own incoherent babbling. A garbled intent to beg for more.

And damn, does he give it to me.

Madd’s stomach ripples enticingly with each thrust, glistening with the effort of his relentless pace. The tendons in his neck stand at attention, jaw locked tight as he valiantly tries to deliver what I’ve asked for.

My now hard cock slaps against my stomach in the same pattern Madd’s balls smack against mine, the filthy soundtrack making the moment sexier.

I’m in literal heaven. Erotic, unparalleled heaven.

“Pump your cock,” Maddox grunts from above me, and since that’s exactly what my poor aching dick wants, I waste no time taking it in hand and stroking it in time with his thrusts. “Come with me.”

As if on cue my cock erupts, pulsing in my fist as cum shoots over my chest. It’s a familiar yet foreign sensation since it’s not just my cock pulsing, but something deep inside me. Something that magnifies my release tenfold, wave after wave of bliss coursing through me like a supernova that leaves me wondering if all the atoms in my body are still intact or if the force of that explosion sent them spiraling into the air around me.

Above me Maddox straight up roars, his whole body seeming to freeze though I distinctly feel a spasm inside me that I’m pretty sure isn’t coming from me, which sends a whole new wave of tingles ping-ponging throughout my spent limbs.

Maddox collapses on top of me, his weight making it hard to breathe yet at the same time grounding my wayward thoughts about being fucked into another plane of existence.

“What the hell just happened? I don’t think I’ve ever fucked anyone so hard before, and that’s the opposite of what I wanted your first time to be.”

My eyes drift shut as I wrap my arms around him. “That’s exactly what I wanted my first time to be.”

“I didn’t break you?” I sense actual fear in his voice .

“You totally did, but in the best possible way.” I suck in a breath as he pulls out, and I feel rather than see him wince.

“That doesn’t make any sense, Cade,” he says softly.

“It does if you understand what you broke is the belief that I’d had some epically good sex in my lifetime.”

“Still not following,” he grunts as he flops down next to me.

I roll to my side so I can look at him. “You fucked me into another realm, Madd. I’m officially enlightened.”

“Great,” he mutters. “You’re enlightened, and I’m officially unhinged.”

“What does that mean?”

He rolls to face me, an almost haunted expression on his face. “I was totally out of control. You should be pissed at me right now.”

I roll my eyes. “Keep fucking me like that and I might fall in love with you.”

“So, I didn’t hurt you?” He still sounds doubtful, but he also doesn’t sound freaked out, so either he thinks I was joking about the whole falling in love thing or it didn’t register.

“You didn’t hurt me.” I lean forward just enough to give him a lingering kiss. “Now get some rest because we are definitely doing that again once I have my strength back.