Page 46

halle

After Tyler proposed to me, the rest of the summer seemed to flash by without a second glance.

We attended Tayler's wedding to Dylan in the first week of August. I was still a bridesmaid, but my pink dress had been altered significantly to accommodate my bump.

Seeing my best friends get married was emotional. Especially in my state. I didn't stop crying the whole night. The tears flowed freely Tayler pulled me onto the dance floor and twirled me around while she told me how amazing I'd made her special day.

We partied all day and all night. Though I embarrassingly fell asleep during part of it, I had a fantastic time. We ate good food, enjoyed company, and sang songs out of tune. It was the best experience before my life got crazy.

The time for crazy was just around the corner. Hunter was due in less than a week. Less than a week of it just being the two of us in this apartment. And so while Tyler was off getting ready for the season, I wrote about how I felt.

With a cup of tea, soft songs, and comfortable pajamas, I settled on the couch in front of my laptop.

To my fabulous son,

I'm writing this when I haven't met you yet. I think about you almost every single second. I think about the day I get to see you for the first time and how I'm going to feel. I think about all your future firsts and how your dad and I get to be there for all of them. I can't wait to meet you.

You're almost here. You've given me a crazy nine months. Some worries and some pains. But you've also opened my eyes. You've shown me what it means to be a fiancé. What it means to be a friend.

We're not going to be alone any more. You're going to arrive with all your brilliance and we're going to love you unconditionally. I want you to always remember that. Whatever happens in life, we love you.

Daddy is terrified. He'll never admit it, but I can see it. He's scared that we won't be there for you. He's scared that he won't be the father that you deserve. You and I, we know the truth. Your Daddy is the most thoughtful and caring man I've ever met. He let me in. He let me heal his wounds. We grew up together in this city. We're not kids anymore.

You're going to have the best life. Daddy will have you in skates before you can walk. He'll bring you to the rink every chance he can. You already have so many uncles that want to teach you all about this crazy sport. I'm going to say goodbye to breakable items around the apartment. When you come around, this house is going to turn into hockey center. Daddy will finally have an excuse to leave his stuff around. I'll teach you not to be as messy as him. And who knows, maybe by the time you read this we'll have that big mansion in Canada with a minivan and dogs. Maybe you'll have siblings to play with.

What's the future like, my sweet boy? Is it everything I'm imagining it to be? Has Daddy won any more Stanley Cups? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you play hockey like Daddy does? When does your first love happen? When do you get married? Am I a grandma yet?

Do you love your life? Do we show you the undying love we have for you every day? I hope the future is bright and sweet. I hope you never have a bad day. And when you're upset, I hope you come to me and tell me how you feel.

You're almost here. Our lives are about to change. Get ready for the world, little one. It's full of traveling, hockey, victories and love. You're going to get to see the world and get the best experiences. Daddy hopes you like hockey as much as he does. Daddy also hopes you help him win more cups. But most of all Daddy hopes you have the best life possible. I hope you know how loved you are. I loved you the second I found out about you. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life.

Please come soon, my sweet boy. I can't wait to meet you.

Love,

Your Mommy

Halle Jennifer Finch

I sat back from the computer, wiping at my eyes. I let out a long breath. That had been more emotional than I'd intended it to be. My hand gently rested on top of my bump, elongated and basketball shaped. I sat there for a moment before standing to stretch my legs and look over the nursery again.

We'd finished the room right after our return from Toronto. I had to admit that Lauren had done a beautiful job decorating the space. It was everything I could have wanted in a nursery. Although I'd lost the guest bedroom, I loved the new space.

The floor was the same wood as our bedroom, adorned with a wide rug. That part was still the same from the guest room. It was black and white striped, with enough covering that the hard flooring was just barely visible on the edges of the room. The wall that the crib was on was painted black, a simple silver 'H' painted on the black surface in the center. On either side of the crib, we'd pasted large silver decals of crossed hockey sticks.

The rest of the room had white walls, fitted with the same paneling as our bedroom. I'd purchased simple little paintings to hang in each of the three panels opposite the crib. They were grayscale watercolors of cute safari animals that I'd fallen in love with a homey little craft store in Toronto.

Throughout the room, the furniture was black. The crib was the sole white furnishing. The two dressers that were stoically guarding the room had already been crammed with items that I'd received at my baby shower. I fondly remembered that day back in mid August.

I'd still been exhausted from the wedding a few days before, but Alex insisted I looked like a 'hot hot mama' for the occasion. I didn't mind. The August Chicago weather was steamy enough that I was completely comfortable in the little sun dress I'd picked out.

With Tayler's help, Alex had thrown the most elaborate shower I could've imagined. The cupcakes and cookies were blue and hockey themed. The newest female Strome ran around telling everyone in attendance just how good at sports Hunter would be.

"I mean, just look how athletic they both are. Halle literally could've gone D1 soccer if she wanted to. This kid is going to come out with a full six pack."

I'd laughed her predictions off. Hunter could do whatever he wanted. Although Tyler and I both wanted the hockey part of his childhood to be strongly supported.

My mother, along with Johnny's fiancé, had come down for the shower. So had Lauren, all the way from Edmonton. I was surprised when I saw her.

"Of course I came! I designed Baby Dewalt's nursery. I wasn't going to leave him hanging."

Imagine my surprise when her and Connor gifted us a top-of-the-line camera monitoring system. The set up was so sleek, I knew it must've cost a fortune. I had to laugh when Lauren threw in a set of Gucci onesies.

"We'll be the Gucci godparents. We arrive from Edmonton every few months, shower the kiddo with expensive clothes, then disappear again. When Tyler plays Connor, you can point out number ninety seven and say 'That's Gucci Godpop! He buys you all the fancy clothes! Love him!'"

After my exhausting and hectic shower that had consisted of so many gifts I'd been stuck waist deep in diapers for days, another big event happened in our little team circle.

Lyndsey and Alex had their daughter. Jamie Lee DeBrincat was born on August thirteenth in Chicago at noon precisely. Just like my friend had predicted, she had a daughter and I had a son. Best friends as kids and hopefully for the rest of their lives.

Tyler and I visited the new family when they left the hospital. I was almost too paranoid to go into the hospital when they were there for fear of germs. Lyndsey didn't seem to mind. I got to hold a newborn for the first time in my life. I got a taste of what my life would become in a short month. Lyndsey would be a big help in the upcoming weeks. Her experiences a month ahead of mine would help me tremendously.

Two Blackhawk babies within a month. The reaction from the public about Jamie had been positive and outpouring. I wondered what the response to Hunter would be.

Tyler and I had elected to remain silent for the first few months. We'd informed as much staff as we needed to about how we would be doing this.

No posting. No public knowledge of Hunter. If employees knew, then so be it. But we politely asked all friends and family to refrain from posting any pictures until we decided to do it ourselves. For the sake of privacy, I was edging towards his first birthday on that one.

We'd wait for the season to pass before dropping a bomb on the world. I could only imagine how hard it would be. What would I do with all the adorable pictures and baby growth comparisons? Would I really be able to wait that long to post about my son?

I swallowed heavily at the thought.

My son. That was still so strange to think about. In less than a week, Tyler and I wouldn't be alone. We would have a sweet little baby boy who stole our hearts away. Tyler would have a hockey buddy. I would get a little bundle of joy that I got to spend all my days with.

Now, I only hoped he would be a good university partner. I'd enrolled in mostly night classes, though I wouldn't be able to attend for a bit after Hunter was born. I could juggle online work I was assigned by professors. When Hunter was old enough, I hoped that he would be quiet in class during the days when Tayler or Alex were unable to babysit him

The few times Tyler would be home, I had nothing to worry about. My mother had even offered to fly in for the first two weeks to help me out. There were a plethora of people all ready to help me out. The thought of it all filled my chest with warmth.

I was pulled from all my deep thoughts by a harsh noise from my pocket. I jumped, nearly sloshing my tea over the rim of my mug. I frowned at the number on my phone screen. It looked familiar, with a Toronto area code. Hesitatingly, I answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey." The voice was soft and unfamiliar. I frowned.

"Er...who is this?"

"Oh. Don't you have my number anymore?" I tried to place the voice. It was started to sound like someone I knew. I just couldn't place it.

"I'm not sure who this is."

"This is Halle, right?"

"Yeah...?"

"It's Emily." I snapped my fingers. Of course.

"Oh. Wow. Hey. Yeah I got a new phone a year ago. Didn't transfer my contacts."

"Huh. I was just calling to see how you've been? Haven't heard from you in a long time."

"It's been crazy." I smiled slightly. "Ty's been all over the place."

"I'm glad you two are still together. He's been doing awesome. Two cups back to back like that is awesome. I was the only one on campus cheering for him."

"Thanks. The boys did great. We're all super proud of them. How's Duke life? Basketball team any good last year?" I smiled slightly at the memory of my short lived college experience.

"It's good. I moved into a new apartment with some friends. They're not bad, but you were a better roommate." I could hear the melancholy tone to her voice.

"Yeah, sorry about that. I don't regret it though. I'm just glad we didn't stay with Kirby for too long."

"How is he? I know things were rocky for a bit there with him in the picture." I shrugged, even though she couldn't see.

"He got a weird girlfriend, started playing subpar on the team, and then Bowman traded him away. Think he's with the Panthers now. Shame he didn't work out here. He was a good mix with Brinksy and Nilly."

"I guess a lot changed then."

"Definitely. It's been a hell of a two years." I smiled down at my stomach. If only she knew.

"How's school for you? Is Chicago any better at college than we are? Better parties and everything?"

"School up here is pretty great. It's kind of crazy because most people know who I am. Hockey is huge up here."

"Must be crazy. You're basically a celebrity now. When my friends found out about the whole thing they were kinda shocked." I laughed, nodding.

"Yeah, really crazy."

"How are your friends?"

"What, the blonde lookalike bimbos?"'I could almost hear the wince in her response.

"I'm sorry I called them that. They seem like really nice girls."

"No hard feelings. We get all kinds of shit from fans about how we're all blonde. Yet the second one of us isn't blonde the same people get mad. Impossible to make them happy."

"I'm actually kind of glad I'm not involved in all that. You guys do get some uncalled for hate."

"It's jealousy."

"Must be." Emily's words held a faint smile. I looked down at my mug, swirling the tea around. "I'd love to talk for real some time. Like in person. Any chance Tyler plays the Canes soon?"

"No idea." I suddenly had an idea. There was one unifying event I could invite her to. One that would happen the next summer. I grinned. "Hey, Em. What's your address right now?" As she listed it, I darted to the kitchen to scribble it down. "Will you be there for the whole year?"

"Yeah, until graduation in May."

"Perfect." I clutched the pen. "Lookout for some mail soon."

"You and your mail. You always did like sending paper stuff, didn't you?"

"Still do. I send stuff from the city to Han all the time."

"That's awesome." There was a scuffle of noise on her end. "Alright, I'm gonna get going."

"It was nice talking to you Em. You should call again soon."

"I'll try. Bye Halle."

I smiled down at my bump. The call left me feeling refreshed and happy.

"I always swore Emily would be the first person to hold my child when I had one. Looks like Auntie Em might be in your life after all."

I happily sipped my tea. If Emily was going to become my friend again after not being there for so long, maybe life wasn't going to be so hard. Maybe I could do this.