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tyler

I did everything I could from falling off my game. It was harder than I thought it would ever be. Especially since I carried the weight of it on my shoulders. I felt like one person needed to know. Just one. And that person was going to be Dylan. Off the ice, the lanky twenty four year old had become a good friend. Especially since Halle and Tayler were best friends. I trusted that he would be able to keep quiet.

Hopefully I'd feel better knowing I wasn't alone with the knowledge. After our afternoon meetings, I pulled him aside into a quiet area without prying ears and eyes.

"Can I tell you something Stromer?" He gave me a look.

"Yeah, of course."

"Do you swear that you won't tell anyone what I'm going to tell you? Not Brinksy, not Merz. I'll tell the rest of the team when the time is right." His face looked apprehensive.

"Uh. Ok. Whatever you say. I'll be quiet." I let out a breath.

"Halle's pregnant." Dylan's eyebrows shot upward.

"Oh, wow. That's...not what I was expecting. That's awesome dude." He grinned, slapping my back.

"And it's a secret. We'll let the team and coaches know as a heads up, but we're not officially telling the public. Too many stupid people out there."

"I get it dude. Totally understandable. When's she due?"

"September. And Tayler knows, so feel free to discuss it with her." He smiled and shook his head.

"Of course she does."

We returned to the locker room where the team was gathered. I felt better with a slight portion of the weight off my chest. Now I just had to focus in and play well so no one else figured out something was up. Could I keep my cool?

If anyone figured out I was off, it was Pat. He was my partner in everything. Of course he knew when I wasn't fully into the game. He gave me a careful look as I suited up with him. I ignored his gaze for the time being. As soon as we were dressed, I bounced on my skates in place. Pat stood as well, grabbing my arm and pulling me down so he could murmur in my ear.

"Whatever's up, put it away. No off days." I shrugged him off.

"Working on it." He was still studying me.

"Tyler, get on your game. You're so far off right now. You're going to get out there and make a fool of yourself if you don't get your head in the right place."

"I know Kaner. I'm trying." I looked up to catch Dylan's eyes. He motioned to the hallway with his head. I nodded. I followed him out.

"You need to relax. I know it's a lot but you can deal with it better. You looked like you were going to start throwing rights at Pat." I leaned against the concrete wall with a groan.

"I'm normally good at this stuff. Not letting personal stuff get to my head. What do I do to stop the thoughts? They're killing me."

"Get mad about something. Think about every way you're going to score tonight. Try to place extra hits on guys. Physicality usually works for me. As long as you don't get any penalties, eh?" I rolled my shoulders.

"Yeah. Ok. I'll try. Thanks Stromer."

We returned to the room. I ignored Pat's eyes. I would explain later. How long 'later' was became the big question.

When the game started, I did what Dylan had suggested. I placed big hits. Hard hits. Ones that would make Tom Wilson proud. They were all clean, but it still ruffled feathers. By the end of the first, Jeremy was confused.

"What the hell are you doing out there? Playing defense? Good looks and good hits but Jesus. What's gotten into you?" He slapped the top of my helmet. "I like the defending but please do that when we're up by two not down by one. Get out there and score." I nodded. Pat bumped into me on the bench.

"You're gonna get slammed if you keep it up."

"I know." Maybe that was what I needed. A good fight. It would definitely fixate my nervous energy. Pat shook his head.

"Your damn head is so strange."

"Eh it's big as hell." Elvis delivered the chirp with a heavy whack to my shin pads. I glared at him.

"Says the guy who doesn't weigh 200 pounds."

"Panda carries the weight for both of us." I fell in line behind him without another word.

My chance at a spat came halfway through the second. Against a decent customer as well. I knew I was probably going out of my weight class, but I didn't care. I'd been involved in a minor scuffle around the Sharks net, and some adverse shoving ensued. I felt the cross check high on my back, inviting a challenge. When I turned, the culprit faltered. Big Brent Burns. Six foot five and well over two hundred pounds. I wasn't bothered by the slight height difference.

I immediately shook my gloves loose. My stick was discarded to the right. I circled the large defenseman like a lion. The ref immediately tried to jump in, but I pushed him off.

"Don't be stupid, kid." Brent was leering at me as the referee spoke.

"Little Holy One wants to go?" I watched as he shook his own mitts free. "Come at me boy."

I did just that, my hand finding the collar of his sweater. He jabbed at me likewise for a minute. When he threw the first punch, I ducked. My own fist came up. We tangled together, wrestling helmets off. I threw another right punch, feeling the satisfaction when it connected with skin. Brent let out a groan, but I didn't stop. Even when he tried to return the hits, I wasn't as affected. I hit again. And again. Until he went down to the ice and the refs jumped us.

I slid back, my chest heaving. I connected eyes with Pat, who looked amused. He tapped his stick on the ice with everyone else. I let out a breath and pushed my hair away from my face. The ref pushed me towards the bench. I went without trouble.

Jeremy didn't look at me as I walked by. I could read the tense look on his face. I knew it wasn't what he'd wanted. I cursed silently to myself.

In the locker room, Mike handed me a towel.

"You're bleeding. Sliced under the eye from something. And above your eyebrow. Let's take a look at those hands."

I let him treat me with stitches and an ice pack for a minute. I'd have a nasty black eye the next day, that was for sure. Mike said the same thing that I was thinking.

"You really got hit, jeez. But you won that one fair and square."

"Yeah, you should see the other guy." I smiled slightly. Mike patted my shoulder.

"You're all set. Your five minutes is up, but just get back to the bench." I nodded.

I grabbed my gloves, helmet, and stick. Mike patted me again.

"Score a goal, eh? We're still down."

I did just that. In fact, I didn't remember the crucial turning point in my life that I'd been worried about until after the third period had ended. I'd scored one goal to tie the game up, then assisted on a nice goal from Alex. I ended the game on a nice high note and my worries temporarily forgotten.

Before leaving for the night, I made the voluntary decision to tell Pat why I'd been so on edge for the entire game. Before we walked to the bus, I pulled him to the side.

His reaction was similar to Dylan's, but more hesitant. At first, he just stared at me in disbelief.

"I knew something was up. You don't get in a mood too often. Weren't you guys being careful?"

"Of course we were. Neither of us knows how it happened. It just did. We're keeping it super down low. Especially because I know everyone will react like you did. Or worse." He looked guilty.

"It's not a bad thing...it's just—"

"It's just that we're both young and I have a whole career ahead of me."

"Yeah. I mean, you've handled a relationship well so far. Super well. Better than I ever could at your age."

"Thanks Pat. But seriously, only you and Dylan know. Please don't tell Amanda yet. Halls will tell them when she's ready."

"You're good. I'll probably forget by tomorrow anyway." He gave me a grin. We headed for the bus together. Telling my partner on the ice made me relax again.

I didn't feel as lost anymore. From here, things were only going to keep changing. My life was going to turn upside down. I needed people at my side if I wanted to face the difficulties that were coming. That was why I'd told Pat and Dylan first. They deserved to know why I might not be on my A-game every once and awhile.

Now, my first focus was the All Star week. I wouldn't let myself be stressed about the week like last year. This time, Elvis would be going with me. I'd be without Pat for once, but I didn't mind as much. As long as Elvis was with me, I would be fine. I intended to relax and have fun this time.

On the bus, I settled down next to Dylan. He was on his phone, only acknowledging me with a grunt. I pulled my own device out, intent on texting Halle.

I attached a picture of my face, the cuts just visible in the dim bus lighting. My black eye was more prominent. Dylan gave me a look.

"Phone off buddy I'm trying to sleep."

"Tell my girl that buddy." He held out his hand. I placed my phone in his palm, letting him send the text. When I got my phone back, I held back a laugh at the message.

I let him read the response before turning my phone off. I let my eyes shut as I leaned back. I smirked into thin air. Before I drifted off, I put my earbuds and put some music on. The relaxing notes paired with the motion of the bus helped me slip away easily.

&&&

When I finally returned on Tuesday, I was anxious and desperate to see Halle. I normally went away for games with a level mindset, knowing she'd be fine while I was gone. Now, I felt guilty for not being there. I wanted to be at her side for every second.

I hardly had time to relax when I did get home. I'd packed my bags before I'd left, so all we had to do was grab things and meet back up with Elvis. We were picking Alex and him up. On the drive to the airport, we were planning on telling him the secret. Alex knew already, so Halle didn't see the harm in telling him. She still looked nervous as I drove to their apartment. I reached over to squeeze her hand.

"No reason to be freaked out. It's just El."

"I know. It's not really that it's more the All Star stuff. I know what to expect but I'm still kinda freaked. At least I have Alex. And I can meet up with your family." She smiled slightly.

"They'll be glad to see you. They love you." Halle didn't reply. Instead, her fingers worked across the necklace she was wearing. She pulled the initials across her throat repeatedly. She didn't stop until Alex appeared. While Elvis tossed their things into the trunk, Alex hopped in behind Halle. She reached forward to pat my girlfriend on the shoulder. When Elvis got in, I let out a breath.

"Ok, before we start driving, Halle and I have some news." I twisted to look at Elvis. Alex was grinning like a kid. "Halle's gonna have a baby. In September." His eyebrows shot up. He looked at Halle, then Alex.

"You knew?" Alex giggled.

"I was there when she found out. Sorry I didn't tell ya, babe. It's a super low key thing." Alex explained our plans to him. Halle interjected occasionally. When Alex started to talk about turning the guest room into a nursery, I didn't miss how Halle's eyes lit up. It was obvious she'd come up with some ideas.

I didn't have any clue just how many ideas until we were on the plane. Halle started flipping through pictures on her phone, showing me relentless color schemes and furniture ideas.

"I really like the light gray scheme. Stick with something that kind of matches the rest of the apartment. Simple...maybe with some kid of accent wall or anything that adds a bit of interest. Something that can grow. Babies aren't babies forever." She leaned her head against me.

"Not a hockey themed room? I'm crushed."

"No! Not yet. They'll be drowning in it before they can walk. Hold off on the full blown hockey stuff for a bit." Elvis chuckled from in front of us.

"I'm going to make sure the kid's a goalie. No more centers. Too many forwards." I scoffed.

"Goalies are too unhinged."

"But you love it." He grinned at me.

"Questionable."

We continued to discuss ideas and what the future would look like for the rest of the flight. The time passed quickly. When we landed, Halle let out a breath.

"I think I'm gonna be sick." She managed to make it off the plane before beelining for the bathroom. Alex followed closely on her heels. Elvis and I were left confused. He turned to me.

"She always get sick like that?"

"Nope. Not yet, anyway. I'm not even sure when morning sickness is supposed to start. Soon, I would think."

"Your guess is as good as mine. Although you should probably do some reading. You're the expectant dad here."

Halle returned slowly. She looked pale and queasy. Somehow, she managed to flash me a reassuring smile.

"That was weird. I'm good now." I let Elvis and Alex fall into place ahead of us. I wanted to talk to her.

"Have you gotten any morning stuff yet? Does it start by now?"

"I got some yesterday...it was so bad I had to cancel on Kiki. I was going to talk to her about all this." Halle frowned, motioning at her stomach. "But there wasn't any this morning. Guess it waited until now."

"I'd take it away if I could." She provided me with a small, closed smile.

"I know. Just don't worry too much about it. It's normal. I'll survive." I lifted her hand in my own, curling my fingers tightly around her.

"I can't relax when you're uncomfortable. But I'll try to not think about it." She bumped into me gently.

"Figured out which suit you're wearing tomorrow and Thursday?"

"Yep. You'll see which one is which. You'll like them. I'm not going crazy." She nodded.

"Ok. I can't wait to see Laur. It's been so long."

"I'm introducing you to Sid and Ovi this year. They're actually going to be here. You'll like them. Ovi has the cutest kids I've ever seen." Halle let out a sigh.

"Must I?"

"Legends must meet cordially and discuss the season. And show off their wives." I winked at her. She promptly rolled her eyes.

"if I get another charity fiasco, I'm rioting."

"Relax. They'll appreciate a woman with intelligence. These are guys who are used to relentless puck bunnies. You're the farthest thing from that."

"If you say so. Matt and Mitchy are gonna be here, right?"

"Yep. Actually think Steph and Mitch got a room on our floor. We'll see when we get there." She grinned happily.

"Awesome. I like Mitch. And Steph."

The four of us were picked up in a complementary shuttle, sent by the hotel. It was only a short drive into the interesting city before we reached the ornate place. Halle and Alex were the first ones out, linking arms and chattering excitedly. I blinked when I remembered that this was both Aleks and Elvis's first All Star experience. They didn't know what to truly expect. That's what Halle and Alex were whispering about. I had to smile at their excitement. Halle was telling Alex what this week would entail.

By the time we left the other couple to retreat to our room, Halle was dragging. She looked exhausted. It wasn't too late at night, but I listened to her wishes when she lay down. I wasn't going to leave her in a foreign apartment just so I could go out and meet up with guys I'd be seeing the next day. Besides, staying at her side was much more appealing.

Before Halle fell asleep, I gently kissed the top of her head. She murmured against my chest. I smiled slightly.

This was perfect.