Page 44

Eighteen weeks into my pregnancy and I felt absolutely terrible. How was I supposed to endure this for another twenty some weeks?

Even with the support and help from my friends, I missed Tyler. Lyndsey and I leaned each other heavily during the away periods. We were only a month apart, and her experiences were helping me the most. By the three month mark, I couldn't hold back from telling the rest of my friends. I'd gathered everyone at my apartment to treat them with a nice brunch, then announced the news. Ever since then, my days consisted of relaxing with Lyndsey and spinning tales about how our kids would grow up and get married.

Lyndsey was having a girl, Jamie, and I was having a boy, Hunter. One day, Hunter Dewalt would play in the NHL and Jamie DeBrincat would be his supportive and devoted girlfriend. Or the other way around. By the time Jamie was eighteen, there would a large woman's hockey league and the little Cat would be the best forward in history. Hunter would be her loving boyfriend through the long years of hockey. Either way, we promised each other that our kids would be best friends. After all, they were due just a month apart.

I'd tallied up the list of people who knew by now. Every teammate and their significant other. Lauren and Connor. Tyler's coaches and the general manager. My parents. And the Crawfords. A large list that seemed to grow. Only five more months of secret. And a Stanley Cup battle in between then. I remembered the hell of the playoffs. I didn't think I could do that much traveling again. Especially considering my experience with planes the last two times. No, this year would have to be televised support.

In late March, with playoffs approaching quickly, I was growing apprehensive. The Hawks weren't number one like the previous year. A smattering of lost games had put us at number two. Somehow, the Oilers had inched over us by a few points. Losing the race for the presidents trophy was a disappointment. With that set in place, the Hawks were set to play the Dallas Stars in the first round. Until April fourth, the point gathering would be a mad scramble. I knew it was unlikely that Edmonton would fall, unless they lost every game. Either way, playoffs were a definite for this year. I was partially dreading the series.

Tayler, Chaunette, and I were currently headed to my second ultrasound. True to her promise of a crazy baby shower, Tayler wasn't letting me know the gender right away. It was going to be a surprise for Tyler and I. The good thing about the shower was that it would be in July or August. Tyler would be home. Everyone would be home. I would have a decent support crew going into September.

Now that I was officially five months pregnant and more than halfway, I'd started to break down the guest room and transform it. Lauren flew in by choice to help me pick out furnishings, even though I hadn't hired her this time. She insisted that she helped me match the important room to the rest of our living space. Tayler had informed me that Lauren would be privy to the gender as well, for planning reasons.

Now it was finally time for that scan. I settled in to the seat in the ultrasound room for my twenty week appointment. Tayler and Chaunette were excitedly talking. I'd tuned them out a bit ago, focusing on the discomfort of my leggings. It was the first time I was realizing that my pants didn't quite fit right anymore. I was dreading having to shop for maternity clothes. That was what Chaunette was for. Her experience was something I was grateful of. She knew everything there was to worry about during these weeks. She'd given me articles and books and magazines to read. She'd told me her troubles during her pregnancies with Dax and Andy. Of course, I was my own person, but it helped to know what I might experience.

My friends stopped talking as Dr. Kafali appeared. The woman's smile helped me to relax slightly.

"Good morning ladies. How are you?"

A chorus of 'good' replied. She nodded, bustling to snap a pair of gloves on.

"Ok, Halle. You know the drill." I pulled my shirt up, shivering just like last time. Tayler let out a small gasp.

"Halle you're showing! When did that happen?" I shrugged.

"This one's a teeny tiny momma." Chaunette interrupted, grinning at me. The woman applying gel sounded amused when she spoke.

"

We'll make sure the baby is doing fine growth wise, since you're so tiny still, but I think you're fine." She paused, looking up at the screen. "Would you like to know the gender today?" Tayler rushed to talk.

"If you could let me know that'd be great. But Halle doesn't get to know yet." Dr. Kafali smiled.

"Alright. I'll make sure to let you know." She bustled through the rest of the appointment, showing me the heartbeat and the features that were forming. She gave me some pointers for alleviating discomfort and set up another scan in a few months. By the time she had finished talking, I could read Tayler's impatience. I left so she could find out.

Her and Chaunette came out grinning. I tried to read their mischievous smiles. Tayler wouldn't budge.

"You'll see! Soon. We already have a plan." Chaunette nudged me.

"You'll be happy either way, right?" My eyebrows shot up.

"Of course! I'm just anxious because I want to pick names."

"Couldn't you do something gender neutral for now?"

"We could...but Ty and I have one name for a boy that we really like. So I wanna know if that's a bust or not." I searched their faces for any hint of reaction. They held good poker faces. I sighed. "Just tell me before you reveal it, ok? Let's go, we have a game to get ready for."

It was the last home game before playoffs. The last regular season home game without a baby in my life. The idea was daunting.

Like every other game, I wore Tyler's jersey over a sweatshirt. I definitely felt self conscious now. Especially since I'd grown a bit since the last home game. My friends weren't an issue. I was more concerned over fans recognizing me and noticing.

My paranoia resulted in traveling in a group when I needed to go to the bathroom. Otherwise, I never left the box. I envied Lyndsey, who could walk around without a care in the world. I felt like everyone was looking at me with the implicit knowledge of what I was trying to hide.

When our boys rounded off the night with a disappointing loss to the the Flyers, I internally groaned. Tyler would definitely be in a mood at home now. I tried to think over what I would say to him as Tayler drove me home. I was too exhausted to come up with something peppy and upbeat.

This kid was ruining my sleep schedule. I hadn't been able to sleep right since hitting the sixteen week mark. I had to use the bathroom at least twice during the night. If I wasn't doing that, I would toss and turn restlessly for hours. It wasn't a bad thing when Tyler wasn't home. But when he was, I felt the crippling guilt of knowing that he was losing just as much sleep. Tonight would be the same. He'd be annoyed about missing two points and I'd make things worse with my restlessness. I didn't know what to do.

I thanked Tayler for the ride home before bustling inside. As soon as I could, I stripped of my clothes and snuggling into my soft robe. The leggings were really starting to get on my nerves and cause discomfort. The relief of peeling them off was immeasurable.

Before I settled into bed, I brewed myself some relaxing tea. Camomile should help with my sleep. That's what Chaunette had suggested, anyway. I gladly sipped it while sitting on the couch and reading through my texts. Obviously, time slipped away between my tiny gulps of liquid. When I checked the time, it was later than I'd planned to get in bed. I quickly finished the tea.

I was just about to crawl under the covers when I heard the front door click. I paused, still standing by the bed. I heard the clink of keys and the thump of a bag before Tyler called out.

"Halls?"

"In here." He appeared in the doorway. His worried expression softened when he saw me.

"Oh good. You're not in bed yet." He looked like a wet puppy. Disappointed and discouraged. I motioned for him to come over. When he was next to me, I sat him down on the bed. My hands rested lightly around his shoulders, tracing tiny patterns.

"Had an appointment earlier. I got an ultrasound. I found out the gender." His eyes widened immediately. I quickly backtracked. "I mean, I didn't. But Tayler and Chaunette did. They're keeping it a secret for now. I hope it's a boy." He grinned.

"You just made my night so much better." He brought his hands up to cup the slight bump of my stomach. "I know it's a boy. I can feel it. Is he moving yet?"

"For me, yes. He moves all the time. Flutters around like a little monkey. It's not visible yet, though. Soon you'll be able to feel it. And the doctor said his hearing is developed. So he can hear you now. Isn't that crazy?"

"It's amazing." Tyler pushed my robe aside so he could place his bare hands on the small bump. "I love you with all my heart, little buddy. Keep kicking and show Mom how strong you are."

"That's what keeps me up at night." I complained slightly. Tyler's smile dipped.

"You're still not sleeping right?"

"Nope. Haven't gotten more than four hours in the past week." He pulled me into his lap at the words.

"What would help with that?"

"You, hopefully. I had some tea a few minutes ago, so that might help too." He nodded.

"Do you want me to come to bed right now then?"

"Yes please."

"Ok. Let me get ready." He kissed my forehead lightly. I crawled off of him so he could stand and strip of the sweatshirt and joggers. While he brushed his teeth, I crawled under the thick comforter on the bed. I was all tucked in by the time he came back. I was surprised when he let loose a short laugh.

"What?"

"Are we officially old? The thought of going to bed early excites me. I'd rather be home with you than anywhere else." He fell onto the bed next to me. I let him pull me towards him with strong hands.

"You might be. I'm just listening to my body. I have a developing child who's using up my resources deciding what I want to do. You could be a free man for another four months. Go hang with the bachelors and be free before shit gets real."

"I'll pass. Being here with you is too perfect. Even if you toss and turn and prevent me from sleeping right." He smiled slightly. "I guess I'll have to get used to it. We won't be sleeping at all when the little munchkin gets here, right?"

I nodded sleepily against his chest. Before I could drift off, he tilted my chin up so he could gently kiss my lips. I didn't open my eyes at the touch, smiling up at him instead. He started to pull away, but I captured his mouth in another kiss. He smirked against me. When my head dropped back down, I let out a contented sigh. Hopefully, with Tyler's comforting presence at my side, I would be able to sleep just like I needed. A full six or seven hours would be fantastic. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter and prayed for sleep.

&&&

Playoffs came way too quickly. By the time the team returned home for the last two games of the first round, I was twenty two weeks in. Being officially more than halfway there was a daunting thought. Especially since it felt like I grew every week and someone was going to notice soon.

This year was a lot shakier for playoffs. Especially considering the retirement of the team's leading defenseman in Duncan Keith and Pat getting ready to say goodbye to his career. His impending retirement made the push to win so much stronger. Tyler wanted to win to give his partner a smooth finish. Being back to back champions would be hard. Especially since their production had dipped.

They weren't number one this year. There were strong contenders in the Blues, the Flyers, Oilers, and Boston. Such strong teams left Tyler nervous and unsure of how the playoffs would turn out.

So far, our team was one and one with the Colorado Avalanche. If we won the next three games in this series, we'd be onto the next round.

I couldn't fully appreciate the home games. Even with my brand new black jean jacket, I didn't feel confident enough to relax. At least designing the jacket had taken my mind off things for a few days. I definitely liked the jackets this year over the previous years.

The back was the same, with his name and number. The front had the 'C' and his nickname as well. The large Hawks logo that hovered over the Stanley Cup was new. The intricate patch held the year just over the logo. It was a reminder of what we wanted to achieve this year in a repeat of the previous season.

The jacket certainly wasn't enough to hide my bump. When I walked into the United Center and was too hot to keep my coat on, I held it folded in front of my torso. Tayler nudged me as we headed for the box.

"You're not being subtle."

"Sorry." I made a face at her. Her serious expression dissolved.

"Oh relax. You'll be safe the box. Nothing to worry about." I shrugged.

"I still feel massive."

"Stop you're literally so teeny. I swear when I get pregnant I'm gonna be massive." She sighed, looking dreamy. "If I can get Dyl on it soon our kids will be close in age."

"You sound like Lex." I chastised her. "Just because Lynds and I are pregnant doesn't mean you two need to be."

"I heard my name?" The blonde appeared by throwing an arm around me.

"Please help me out here and tell Tayler she doesn't need a baby yet."

"Oh yeah you really don't. Once these two munchkins get here I better get lots of babysitting from Auntie TayTay. I'm expecting full Wine Aunt from you." Lyndsey patted her stomach. I shook my head, laughing.

"See? We need someone who's in their right mind."

"Oh fine." She drew out the last word in a whine. "It's not like I'm that anxious." She pouted.

"I'm sure Dylan would appreciate letting your marriage get here first and then marinate." She made a face at me.

"Ew. Don't talk about marriage as 'marinating.'" Lyndsey laughed loudly.

"She's not wrong Tay." We hushed as the lights lowered for warmups. At first, they were a flat yellow color. Tayler grinned, leaning over.

"Take very special note of what color these lights turn in a minute." She winked. Down on the ice, I could see Dylan talking to Tyler. My jaw dropped.

"You are not doing this right now!" I turned to Lyndsey, who was recording me with her phone. My face was still slack with surprise. I hadn't been expecting this now. How had Tayler set this up?

"Yes we are! We have a countdown. Get ready!"

It seemed like all the women in the box knew what was about my happen. The anticipation and nerves grew in my chest. Tayler and Chaunette shouted a joined 'one!'

The lights flicked from yellow to a deep blue. I grinned. I knew it. I pumped my fist in the air, cheering.

On the ice, I could see Tyler's teammates shoving him around. He actually turned and scanned the boxes. From so far away, I wasn't sure if he could see me. I still jumped and cheered. Did I imagine the way his head turned back to the ice with a smile? I didn't think so.

I wasn't completely calm by the singing of the national anthem. Tayler took my hand in our game tradition. My heart was still slamming in excitement. A permanent grin graced my face.

Before the puck dropped, she leaned over to whisper to me.

"Playoffs year two together. Here we go. And next year we'll have a baby boy with us."