Page 86 of When I Picture You

“Just two more points, of a more personal nature,” Gloriana said, her tone losing its businesslike edge. “Now that you’re publicly single, I need to check in about your relationship with our esteemed director.”

Lola’s breath hitched. “With Renee?”

As if Gloriana could have meant anyone else.

“I’m aware that you two have been spending significant time together, and of course we have the Michigan incident.” Gloriana inclined her head. “Is something going on there?”

Lola swallowed hard. She hadn’t been expecting this. It wasn’t that she’d specifically hidden the relationship with Renee from Gloriana—she would, of course, find out eventually. It was just that what she and Renee had was so new, so precious. She’d hoped for more time before Gloriana dragged her into discussions about the optics and deflecting scrutiny and a contingency plan for their eventual breakup. Part of her, optimistic, recalled how Gloriana had insisted that Lola could only come out if her relationship with Ava was serious. Things with Renee felt serious already, so that might ease things along. But Lola’s gut was telling her that as much as Gloriana had resisted things with Ava, she seemed to like Renee even less.

And that, Lola had to admit, might have been a teeny tiny part of why she hadn’t told her manager about the relationship already.

“Well, yes. Something is going on,” she said. “We’ve really, you know, reconnected. I know you didn’t want things to get messy, but I promise they’re not, and they won’t be. Everything’s been really great, actually.”

Gloriana knew how long Lola had been alone, how bleak she’d felt after things with Ava ended. Now, Lola hoped for something like congratulations.

Instead, Gloriana said, “You know, I wish you’d come to me with this, instead of making me ask. I can’t protect you from things you don’t share with me.”

“I don’t think I need protection right now,” Lola said with an apologetic smile.

“I’ll have an updated NDA sent to her.”

This was the perfect time. Lola could segue right into the coming-out conversation, explaining how she wouldn’t have quite so many secrets to keep once the film was done.Telling, not asking.

Before she could get the words out, Gloriana grimaced and said soberly, “Trust is a delicate thing. I need to make you aware of a situation. Nash’s people informed us that there has been an incident regarding an exchange of photographs.”

Lola went cold all over. She had warned Nash that something like this could happen. He’d promised he was being careful, but how careful could you be exchanging nudes as a public figure? She knew how isolated Nash was feeling on the monthslong shoot. TheHorsebreakerset was in the middle of nowhere.

Still, there were some risks you just couldn’t take. Nash knew that.

Then again, Lola knew it too, and it hadn’t always stopped her.

“His blackmailer took advantage of the two of you being in the news,” Gloriana said. “It’s been handled. The photos are deleted, and his payoff has been transferred. Nash’s manager floated the idea of extending your relationship, but with our plans for the album, we declined.”

Lola could barely follow Gloriana’s words. As much as she sometimes strained against her team’s management of her image, having that control ripped away was terrifying. People like Lola and Nash had to justify their right to a private life, again and again, even if they weren’t gay and closeted. Everyone at their level had learned to be stingy with their trust. Letting someone in meant handing over a weapon they could use to destroy your career, your business, your life.

“Our concern now is keeping you in the clear if Nash’s indiscretions do come out. Veronika’s worked up a few angles.”

“What kind of angles?”

“Just what you’d expect: he deceived and betrayed you; this explains why he never had time for you. And of course, he hid this dark secret from you.”

Her stomach clenched. She loved Nash. She couldn’t imagine dragging him in the press to protect herself, especially when she was guilty of the same crime he was. Which wasn’t a crime at all.

“Dark secret? That feels kind of homophobic.”

“Lola!” Gloriana blanched. “Let’s be careful throwing that word around.”

“I’d rather say that I support him on his journey or something. Since I do.”

“I’m not seeing how that approach would help us, but for now, this is only a contingency plan. Hopefully it will stay that way.” Gloriana stood and settled her Birkin in the crook of her arm. “Don’t lookso upset, honey. I only mentioned this because I know you care for Nash. I thought you’d want to know.”

“Of course I want to know! I feel terrible for him.”

“So do I. Can you imagine being so cavalier? He got lucky this time, but one slipup like this can annihilate a career in a hot second.”

THE INSTANT THEfront door closed behind Gloriana, Lola grabbed her phone and ran to her bedroom. She shut the door, then went to the bathroom and shut and locked that door too, and only then did she allow her tears to fall.

Can we talk?she texted Nash.