Page 31 of When I Picture You

It was nearly September now, two weeks into filming, and Lola still had an effortfulness that fizzed over everything with a bland positivity. When they shot a smell test for her next perfume, Lola said with a straight face that she’d always been passionate about scents. Filming some yogilates workout, Lola explained that as a performer, her body was her instrument. Everything she said felt calibrated to project the image of America’s Sweetheart. She never mumbled or saidumoruh. If she didn’t answer in a complete sentence, she politely asked,Could I go again?Renee had been hoping the sessions with her producer would unlock something—and yield footage of actual music making—but the first two had been rescheduled.

It was too much Lola Gray and not enoughLo.

Today, they were filming in Lola’s spacious kitchen as Lola “casually” made lunch for friends. The friends in question were seated at the large marble island: her former assistant and another fellow contestant from Lola’s season ofYou’re Next!Renee had questioned this set of alleged friends, since Lola appeared not to have spoken to them in some time, but Lola hadn’t wanted to bother her higher-profile connections.

Renee glanced at Micah and Gloriana watching from behind the crew. Gloriana sometimes popped by the set unannounced. That was her right as executive producer, but Renee felt a stomach ulcer developing whenever it happened. She needed to cut back on those caustic craft services coffees.

Before them, Lola looked incredible in a white tank top, with her chocolate-brown bangs drifting into her face. She was meant to be chatting with her friends while chopping parsley for tabbouleh salad, but she was doing it in a way that suggested no more than a passingfamiliarity with parsley, knives, her kitchen, and, possibly, human interaction.

As Lola laughed too loudly at something her ex-assistant said, Alejandro muttered to Renee, “She better stick to music. Can’t act her way out of a paper bag.”

“She’s not supposed to beactingat all,” Renee said through her teeth.

“Thendirect her, director,” Alejandro said.

Renee cleared her throat. “Let’s pause.” She stepped around the camera tripod and approached Lola. “Hey, Lo, you know there’s no reason to be so tense, right?”

Lola set the knife down—parsley clung to her hands—and she looked up at Renee with a wounded look in her warm brown eyes. “You think I’m tense?”

Renee’s gaze slid over the clenched muscles of Lola’s jaw and the tendons standing out in her neck. “It’s reading that way on camera a tiny bit. Try to act natural.”

“You have a whole film crew crammed into my kitchen. It’s kind of hard to act natural.” Lola’s shoulders had crept up to her ears.

Without hesitating, Renee faced the crew. “Okay, if you’re not doing something important, get off my set.”My set. She’d never said that before, but if Lola needed a smaller set, Renee was going to give it to her. “And while we’re at it, let’s cut Camera B.”

As the crew reacted, Renee set her hands on Lola’s shoulders. Shit, her muscles were tight—but her skin was so soft. Renee kept her voice low. “Lo, you need to get your head in the game. Having lunch. With friends. We had lunch two weeks ago, so I know you can do it. I’ve seen it happen.”

Somehow, she’d started gently kneading Lola’s muscles. Lola didn’t seem to mind. She rolled her shoulder into Renee’s touch. “That was different. It’s awkward to just stand around talking about myself.”

“Sure, it’s a weird situation. But hey, remember the time you forgot the words to the national anthem? Freshman year, I think.”

Lola’s eyebrows leapt up. “What?”

“At the hockey state regionals. You got toAnd the rockets, and you blanked.”

“I’ll never forget that,” Lola grumbled. “You were there?”

Renee nodded, her hands still working. “My cousin was playing. Why don’t you tell them that story?”

Lola gave her a playful glare. “I wouldn’t have hired you if I’d known you were just going to embarrass me.”

“I thought you hired me for my killer insight into your past,” Renee replied.

“Same thing.”

“Good gi—I mean good. Jokes are good. Now go make them for your friends.” Renee drew her hands away and Lola went back to her parsley.

From behind the camera, Alejandro was staring at Renee.

“What?” she hissed as she joined him.

He just shook his head and adjusted his grip on the microphone. But behind him, Gloriana—who, Renee noted, had ignored her instructions about leaving the set if you weren’t doing something important—was watching Renee with a thin frown.

Renee shook it off. She was allowed to kick people off the set, to pull a camera, to give the subject of her film a pep talk. And a shoulder rub. Lola had just looked sotense. And now—

And now, Lola was sweeping parsley into a bowl and smiling to herself. “Did I ever tell you guys about the time I forgot the words to the national anthem?”

“That’s more like it,” Alejandro whispered.