Page 4

T he rain pelting against my bedroom window reminds me of Bellamy in the kitchen after dinner tonight.

She burrowed deeper into her oversized hoodie as she watched the rain fall. The way she barely touched her food bothered me more than the fact that I didn’t get to ride with her again today.

It’s like the dreary weather this week has seeped into her soul, dulling her the way rain clouds do the sun. I hate that I even notice. I also hate that her mom didn’t seem to give two shits about her mood change.

My phone vibrates from where it lies on my chest, pulling me from my thoughts.

Mav

It’s supposed to finally be nice out Friday. You down for a pond day?

Me

Yeah… who are you inviting?

I can’t help but remember my gigi’s comment to Bellamy about meeting our friends.

Mav

The usuals

Me

Well, make sure the team knows Bellamy is off limits. I don’t want to deal with Dad on our ass if anything were to happen.

My fingers type the lie without even a second thought.

Mav

Lie to yourself but don’t lie to me… You forget how well I know you.

Fuck, I should have known better than to say that to him. He’s like a dog with a bone.

Me

What’s that supposed to mean?

Mav

Just means I see the way you look at her. Shit, even the way she looks at you.

I see the way she looks at me too, brother.

Mav

You know I don’t give a fuck, I actually think she’d be great for you, but don’t try to bullshit me… or are you bullshitting yourself?

Wanting to leave those kinds of thoughts in my subconscious, I lie again.

Me

She’s annoying and a stranger living in my house, that’s why I’m looking at her.

Mav

OOOKKKK Bro. Please don’t insult my intelligence.

Mav

Better yet, I’ll tell Meyers that she’s available. He’ll be there tomorrow for sure.

I’m thankful he can’t hear the growl that rips through me before I respond.

Me

Like fuck you will.

Mav

Love you, bubs. Goodnight.

The thunder booms closer to the house this time, and almost simultaneously, I hear a loud crash next door in Bellamy’s room. I’m up and out of my room before I can even think twice.

When I swing her door open, I find her on her hands and knees, trembling as she picks up several things that look like they fell off her side table.

Her head snaps up to me, and confusion mars her face until she looks back down and remembers the loud crash of her belongings.

“Sorry,” she grumbles and waves me off. “I’m fine. Didn’t mean to bother you.”

The tremble in her hands as she scrounges to pick up her things has my usual tone replaced with a gentler one. “It’s no bother. Just wanted to make sure you were good.”

Her eyes meet mine again as I squat beside her and pick up an empty cup. The same emotion I saw yesterday at the barn, when the first storm was rolling in, swims in her eyes.

“Thank you.” Bellamy’s voice shakes in unison with her hands, and it stirs something in the pit of my gut. Her next words are whispered, “I hate thunderstorms.”

I figured as much, but she hasn’t pried into my hurtful secrets, so I bite my tongue and instead pick up a familiar bottle from the pile of misplaced things.

Unable to control myself seems to be my M.O. tonight. I hold the bottle up to my nose and inhale. My dick hardens at the smell.

“Did you just sniff my perfume?” Bellamy asks incredulously.

I move to stand as she picks up the last of it, and Bellamy on her knees below me does nothing to help the situation going on in my gym shorts.

“It’s better than sniffing your panties, isn’t it?” I smirk.

Bellamy gasps, and I love how she tries to fight her smile. “Cash Leblanc, did you just make a joke? And a dirty one at that?”

I stretch my hand out to her. “Come on. Wanna watch Fast & Furious until this storm passes?”

Her green eyes shine up at me with a smile so beautiful it makes me want things I shouldn’t.

“Thought you’d never ask.” She takes my hand, and I don’t let it go until we’re on the couch.

She settles into the corner of the couch in our bonus room, and I pull up the movie like it's second nature, because it is at this point. This room has always been the hangout spot for my siblings and me.

When we were younger, it was our playroom that we could destroy so our mom could keep the downstairs tidy for guests.

Then, as we got older, it became the place we would hang out in the evenings, playing video games or watching movies.

I can almost picture the last night Jules, Mav, and I were in our prospective corners on the massive, plush couch, having a movie marathon.

Those times with them were so simple, but they stir that sense of longing down deep inside of me.

I’d give anything to live one of those memories again.

I stare at the blankets for a few seconds, thinking about which ones were Jules’s favorites before I pick two.

“Fuzzy or thin?” I ask Bellamy, holding the blankets up in her direction.

“Fuzzy, for sure.” She smiles, until I lay it on top of her, and another loud boom of thunder rolls through the sky, making her jolt.

I want to take her trembling hands in mine and soothe her.

“Does your mom know you struggle so bad with the storms?”

She nods, releasing a shaky breath. “Yeah, when I was younger, she would hold me. Her arms wrapped around me always gave me the security I needed, but I guess, over time, she just assumed I’d grow out of it… Unfortunately, I’m not so sure I ever will.”

I get that she’s older, but again, her mother’s lack of care for her really bothers me. It also makes me question the type of person she is.

Bellamy flinches at the sight of the lightning streak through the window. Walking over, I close the blinds, hoping it will dull out the flash.

“But honestly, I wouldn’t want her to try to comfort me anyway.”

I wish she would elaborate on that. Is there a specific reason, or just because she’s a teenager now and doesn’t want her mom to treat her like a child?

An idea forms in my head. Probably a really fucking dangerous idea.

And knowing that with the last flash of lightning means another crackling of thunder is coming any second now, I ask, “What if I held you… Would that help?”

Her eyes trace my face, likely trying to make sure this isn’t some cruel joke, since I’m usually such an grump, but she must trust whatever she finds in my expression because she nods. “Yeah.” She swallows roughly. “Yes, I think it would.”

As I sit beside her, she tucks her body close to mine under the soft blanket, just seconds before the thunder rumbles again. Bellamy clings to my shirt, but as my arms wrap around her and turn up the volume on the movie, I feel her take a deep breath and relax into me.

Each time I hear the thunder rumbling to life, I try my best to distract her by reciting lines from the movie. She looks up at me from where she rests under the crook of my arm, mesmerized by my silliness that must seem out of character.

“Damn, I think you would have given Vin Diesel a run for his money, Leblanc,” she teases.

The usual snark in her tone is back in place, and it floods me with relief.

Huffing a laugh, I smirk. “Nah, this is for private showings only.”

“I like this side of you,” she says, barely reaching up to touch my jaw.

The featherlight sensation has me wanting to kick this blanket off me at the warmth it sends throughout my body.

I swallow thickly. “Good. I don’t show it to many people. Must mean you’re special.”

Bellamy bites her lip before quickly turning her attention back to the movie. Internally, I start to berate myself for saying that, especially while she’s lying vulnerably in my arms, but then she whispers, “Yeah, I’m feeling pretty special right now.”

My stomach dips, and I try my best to focus on the movie and not the way her body feels pressed into mine, or the sound of her sweet voice, or how all I can smell is the faint scent of her perfume still clinging to her skin.

We continue watching the movie in comfortable silence, neither of us letting go of the other. I may be experienced sexually, but for some reason, the way we’re holding each other feels like the most intimate thing I’ve ever done.

Once the storm seems to have calmed down, I whisper, “Do you want me to go get us some snacks?”

She shakes her head. “No. Don’t leave me. If you want one, I’ll go down with you.”

“Nah, I’m good right here, Bobcat.”

Smiling at the sound of her new nickname, she turns back to the movie I could recite every line to.

I watch her as she starts to dose off and, fuck, I think I have a hero complex, because knowing that I gave her enough comfort tonight that she relaxed and fell asleep in my arms makes me feel more than I ever should when it comes to Bellamy.

Thirty-three.

From this angle, I can see the entirety of her beautiful face and that’s the number of freckles spreading across her cheeks and nose. I feel myself start to dose off as I recount each of them, trying to make sure I didn’t miss one.

I wake up several hours later, Bellamy still sound asleep in my arms. My phone vibrates in my pocket, which is what likely woke me up.

Mav

[Picture message]

Mav

Yeah, I like to cuddle with annoying strangers, too.

My fucking twin. Always calling me out on shit I’m not ready to admit.