Page 19

Freshmen Year- MRU

“ H ow are you feeling?” my mom asks as we start to unload my things from the back of Cal’s truck.

Excited. Anxious. Nervous. Hopeful.

Even though my relationship with my mom has slowly gotten better, I still keep my answer simple, as I always do. “I’m feeling good.”

“Are you excited to meet your roommate?” Cal asks breathlessly from lifting the heaviest boxes from the tailgate onto the sidewalk.

“Yes, she seems really sweet,” I answer, which is true.

Berkley and I have been texting all summer.

At first, I was so nervous to live with someone I didn’t know, even though you’d think I’d be a pro at moving in with strangers at this point.

But over time, Berkley’s kind nature put me at ease, and I already feel like I’ve known her for years.

“Good.” Cal nods, looking at his watch. My belly churns because I know exactly what, or who, he’s waiting on.

Trying to distract myself, I do a sweep over my things sitting on the sidewalk, cataloging everything I need to unpack.

Fidgeting with my turquoise bracelet while I wait.

I look down at my wrist and smile. It’s one of my favorite gifts I’ve ever received.

I’ve worn it almost every day since Gigi gave it to me last Christmas.

“There they are,” my mom beams, and the sweat on my neck trickles down over the goosebumps rising all over my skin from his closeness.

“Hey, boys, just in time for the heavy lifting,” Cal calls out to his sons, who moved in a month ago, since they had to start hockey workouts with the MRU team.

“Of course, and look, Amy, we even brought backup.”

I plaster on a smile at the sound of Mav’s voice and turn around.

“Don’t call me that, Rick,” I sass, not missing the way their friends’ eyes linger a little too long on my legs.

Raising my hand, I give them a small wave, not letting my eyes trail too far to the right, where I know Cash is standing.

“Hi, I’m Bellamy… Not Amy or anything else this clown tells you to call me.” I smirk at Mav, who just laughs in response before moving to hug my mom and his dad.

The weight of Cash’s eyes lingers on me until he moves past me without a word.

Typical.

“I’m Tuck, and this is Brady…and no, unfortunately, he’s of no relation to the GOAT, Tom Brady. He’s far from that gene pool, but he’s not a bad goalie.”

I figured they were hockey players.

“So, you both play hockey?”

“Yep. Why else would be hanging out with these two?” Tuck teases, pointing toward Mav and Cash.

“I figured it was a moment of pity,” I joke.

I wait for Mav to jump back in the conversation with a comeback, but I hear him and Cash behind us, filling our parents in on how hockey workouts have been going.

“So you like hockey?” Brady asks.

“Yeah.” I nod toward the twins. “These two kinda made me fall in love with it.”

Among other things.

“What else do you like?” Brady asks, but before I can answer him, Cash’s voice interrupts.

“Alright, let's get this stuff moved. I need to be over at the North Dorm in thirty minutes.”

To help Tori.

He doesn’t say it, but I know, because Mav informed me where she was living this year. He knew I was worried we’d be in the same dorm, and I’d have to see her, or worse, them , all the time.

Still not making eye contact with Cash, I give some directions about my boxes, and we all start to grab from the pile. With their help, it only takes two trips up to my room.

“Thank you all. They kinda had to help, but I owe you two some pizza or something,” I say to Brady and Tuck.

“It’s no problem. Happy to help. It was, like, two boxes.” Tuck smiles. “But I bet my boy Brady here would take your number, and ya’ll can go get that pizza together.”

Brady’s eyes bug out of his head as he looks at his friend incredulously.

“Damn, you’re that kinda friend, huh?” I tease Tuck, hoping to ease Brady’s embarrassment.

“Yeah, apparently, he is,” Brady says, a big smile taking over his face when he looks at me.

Cash’s large back comes into view, blocking me from his teammates. “Can ya’ll move out of the doorway? I need to get out of here.”

“Where are you going?” I ask. It’s the first thing I’ve said directly to him all day, but I want to make him say it to me. I want to feel the pain of it, the reminder of it.

His brown eyes pierce mine. There’s a plea within them, but his words come out harsh and to the point.

“Tori needs my help, and it looks like you have plenty of willing hands on deck.” He briefly closes his eyes, takes a deep breath as he looks over my shoulder to where our parents stand, making my bed, and then he’s gone.

I notice both the guy’s eyebrows pinch together in confusion. Likely used to Cash being quiet and maybe a bit grumpy, but there’s no denying there was more behind his words there.

It’s been a year of watching him with her, but it hurts no less.

The thought of him lying in her dorm bed, holding her like he used to hold me, makes me sick to my stomach.

I suffered through the end of high school with her wearing his jersey and running into his arms after every game.

My only reprieve was knowing he kept my birthday numbers on his jersey.

It was like our little secret. But I have a feeling he will switch his number this year, now that he’s with a new team. Why wouldn’t he?

I remind myself all these things when Brady asks for my number again.

Mav’s raised eyebrow doesn’t go unnoticed as I airdrop my contact into his teammate’s phone.

Maverick has never taken sides, but I’m sure he’s thinking this may be messy since it’s a teammate.

But in this moment, I don’t care. I need a good distraction.

The guys leave not too long after Cash.

“Honey, are you sure we can’t help you unpack?” my mom offers.

“No, no. Ya’ll have done enough. I just want to take my time. Plus, Berkley should be here soon, so that way, it won’t be too crowded for her when she’s bringing all her stuff in.”

“Okay, well, you know we’re only a phone call away,” she says, hugging me for the one hundredth time today. Another thing Cal has changed in her. She’s more affectionate toward me, now more than ever.

“Yep, we can be here in thirty minutes if you need us. Anytime, Bellamy,” Cal says, patting me on the shoulder. “And the twins are just across campus.”

Don’t remind me.

“I know it, I love ya’ll. Thanks for everything,” I say, hugging them both again.

Once they’re gone, I throw myself back on my twin bed. The one thing my mom insisted on doing was making it up, and I can’t say I mind that right now.

It’s such a strange feeling. I’ve been looking forward to this day for so long, and now that it’s here, it feels like something is missing.

Before I have time to decipher that, my phone dings in my hand, and my skin prickles with awareness at Cash’s name on the screen.

Cash

The only thing I ask of you… Please don’t hook up with any of my teammates. I couldn’t handle hearing about it.

Anger, mixed with a satisfaction and longing I know I shouldn’t feel, spreads through like wildfire.

He still cares.