Page 30

I sit in the driveway to The Wolves Den, watching the sky from the windows of my truck. It’s dark outside, but the lights here in town give me visibility of the clouds rumbling in.

Over the past three years, I’ve fought the need to go to Bellamy during storms, convincing myself that she’s okay, but tonight feels different.

Things have shifted between us over the past few months, especially after the hotel last weekend.

On top of that, I’ve been wanting to tell her about Tori and I breaking up, but there hasn’t been a good time for us to discuss it in private.

Yesterday we went to the home football game where she was never far from her friends.

I thought I was going to get my shot afterwards when we went to the club, hell she was the only reason I went.

But even when we came back to the Wolves Den we all stayed in the living room hanging out with everyone until Darby dragged her back to their apartment.

With the way I’m feeling, I don’t think I can sit through another thunderstorm worrying about her and not holding her in my arms or at least seeing that she is ok. The painful memory of the first storm after our parents got married is the only thing stopping me.

Now, I’m going to deal with the aftermath of being in your arms for days, weeks, months…who knows. Just please, Cash. Promise, you won’t do it again. I’ll be okay.

Even with her words in the forefront of my mind, the first boom of thunder has me shifting my truck in reverse.

I’ve felt a sense of unease all day. Maybe it’s because we still haven’t talked since last weekend and we didn’t get to ride together today.

Our parents will be out of town tomorrow for a trade show, so they asked if one of us could check on the horses Monday instead of my grandparents having to do it all.

So we planned it out through text to go tomorrow after Bellamy’s first class of the day, but between the storm and not seeing her, I’ve been on edge.

I drive the two minutes to her apartment, and raindrops begin to fall as I jump out of my truck.

My nerves ramp higher at the thought of her pushing me away. I just want to hold her all night long, and when the storm passes, I want to talk to her about Tori and me breaking up and about the hotel last weekend.

Then I plan on convincing her we belong together, no matter what anyone thinks.

Their apartment door opens as I approach, and I wonder how she would feel about her roommates seeing me come over. Do they know about our history? Do they know she has trouble during storms?

But the face I’m met with sours my stomach and sends a rage through me unlike any I’ve felt before.

After last weekend, she has him at her place? Is she fucking serious?

My molars are grinding so hard, I taste copper in my mouth, but I don’t feel the pain there. No, I feel it right in the center of my chest.

I try to remind myself she thinks I’m still with Tori, but fuck, I’m seeing red when he looks at me with wide eyes, probably remembering the warning I sent his way through Hudson . Stay away from her.

“Cash.” A surprised whisper comes from where Bellamy stands in the doorway.

“I’ll talk to you later, Bellamy,” Connor says and starts to walk past me, but I grab him by the arm.

His left arm, his pitching arm… I did my research, motherfucker.

I squeeze his bicep and sneer, “Nah, you can lose her number.”

He shakes out of my hold, grumbling something under his breath, before heading down the steps. At least he isn’t a dumb motherfucker.

Thunder rolls through the air, and even though she appears less terrified than the last time I saw her during a storm, she still flinches at the sound.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” she asks, and I notice the turquoise bracelet on her wrist. The one she was wearing the other night while she fingered herself in front of me. She rarely takes it off. Did she touch him while wearing that?

“Well, I was coming to check on you with the storms rolling in, but I see you found comfort elsewhere,” I practically growl, trying my best to control my anger.

“It’s not what you think.” She shakes her head, eyebrows pinching as she looks up at me.

“Oh, really?” I retort, but when my eyes trace hers, I see truth in them.

Lightning strikes nearby, and the sight of it changes Bellamy’s demeanor.

“I’m coming in,” I say, grabbing her hand and walking us into her apartment.

Mav and I helped my dad move them in, so I know where her room is, even though that’s the only time I’ve been in it.

“You want to lie down?” I ask, knowing her bed was always a place of comfort for her. Instantly, my eyes land on said bed, looking for rumpled sheets.

Perfectly made. Thank fuck.

“I’m okay right now. I’ve been doing a lot of work on my trauma associated with storms. It’s not perfect, but it’s better than it used to be.”

That’s when I notice the picture of Mia over her bed. She’s standing in a field with a storm rolling in behind her. I’ve seen this before.

Jules took that picture.

Bellamy must pick up on what I’m thinking. “Gigi gave me a picture album of Mia. Copies of pictures that Jules had taken. I had this one blown up. I know it’s ironic that there’s a picture of a storm in my room, but it’s a part of my healing.”

“It’s perfect.” How can I stay mad at her when she has a picture my baby sister took hanging over her head? She honors a girl she never even knew, and that means more to me than she’ll ever fully comprehend.

“Cash, I was telling the truth. Nothing happened between me and Connor tonight.” She closes her eyes briefly before continuing, and I can feel my pulse in my ears as I wait for what she’s about to say. “I couldn’t…” She shakes her head. “Not after last weekend.”

Relief crashes through me, nearly buckling my knees.

I nod, letting her know I believe her.

“I’m so glad storms are a little better for you these days, and I know you don’t need me anymore, but…” I pause, hating the lack of confidence I feel, but I push through it. “Can I still hold you?”

She smiles softly and nods, already pulling her sheets back. I kick my boots off, crawling into bed behind her. My favorite scent envelops me, along with her comforter.

Bellamy rolls over to face me, placing her hand on my chest, right over my heart. “I do need you. I’ve always needed you, Cash. It just… It was never that simple.”

I gently trace my finger over the freckles on her cheeks. “What if it was that simple? What if we had met here, and not because our parents were together? Would you want me then?”

Her green eyes swarm with emotion as they stay locked on mine. “How can you even ask me that? Of course, I would. But even with our parents out of the equation, there’s still Tori. And you obviously love her, or why else would you still be with her after everything?”

“I don’t love her,” I say before she can even finish her sentence.

I love you.

She dips her head, not looking at me as she speaks this time, “To be honest, I may have believed that a few years ago when I assumed you were with her as a rebound, but three years later and she’s still hanging around you like a black cloud… I’d say there’s more to it.”

You have no idea.

I lift her chin, wanting to look her in the eyes. “You’re right. At first, Tori was a way to get your attention, then she became a way to get over you. And eventually, it did become more.”

I see the hurt flash across her face with my words, but I need her to understand. As much as I can tell her, at least.

“I just wanted to be wanted. And it’s no secret she always wanted me.

At one point, during our freshman year here, I thought maybe I was falling for her, but then I’d get a glimpse of you on campus, and I could never let my heart go all the way.

There was a big part of it that was still yours.

” I lift her chin so she’s looking at me again. “That still is yours.”

Three years and I’ve never said those three words. It didn’t feel right when I hadn’t had the chance to say them to the girl I was truly in love with.

Her lips purse, and I can see her thoughts before she even voices them. “I want to believe all that, Cash. But why are you still with her?”

“That’s another reason I wanted to talk to you… We broke up after karaoke the other night...for good.”

Eyes widening, she breathes out, “You did?”

I nod and let a smile slip. But unfortunately, Tori’s words replay in my mind.

Just watch yourself, Cash. Wouldn’t want anything to scar that Leblanc reputation or hurt your precious stepsister, would you?

“Why didn’t you tell me at the game yesterday or the club last night?”

“Oh, you mean when you were putting on a show, dancing in your tiny little dress, making me and every other guy in there sweat?” I ask, raising my eyebrow, daring her to deny it.

She grins and rolls her eyes. “Actually, that’s exactly what I was going for.”

Her smirk quickly slips, as if remembering what I told her.

“How do you feel about it?” she asks timidly.

“Relieved. I’ve wanted it for a long time. Especially these past couple months.”

I hope she doesn’t ask me to elaborate. I know I can’t tell her why I’ve stayed with Tori, even through the misery, not yet at least.

She twists her lips, trying to hide the smile forcing its way onto her beautiful face. “Why these past couple of months?”

“I think you know exactly why.”

Shaking her head, she lets out a small laugh. “I never thought breaking my wrist would lead to something good.”

“You scared the hell out of me that day.”

Bellamy cups my cheek. “I know… I’m sorry.”

I feel like one of the horses, pushing my head into her hand, soaking up every second of her touch and attention.

“It’s not your fault. Honestly, I thought our parents were going to question me because of the way I acted that day. Mav actually told me to tone down the protective lover and channel my inner stepbrother.”