Page 17

I t’s been one week since I’ve laid eyes on Cash Leblanc.

One week since everything changed. One week of no riding. One week of not hearing his voice. One week of the type of heartbreak I’ve never felt before.

A sliver of hope zips up my spine when Mav texts me to be ready in five. Earlier today, he invited me to an end-of-summer party with their friends tonight. I haven’t seen either twin since they conveniently went to their mom’s house for the last week of summer the day after their dad’s birthday.

A trip that was only supposed to be a few days, one I was also personally invited to by their mom after our last visit to her place. But instead, they left without a word. At least Mav texted me . I wonder if Cash told him about everything.

Apparently, the boys came home this morning, because I could tell Cash had been in the barn when I went down there, and Mav said they had hockey practice today. Since then, there’s been no sign of either of them.

Nervous energy carries me downstairs and out the front door.

Will he be with Mav? How will he act toward me now that he’s had some time to cool off?

Mav’s Tahoe comes into sight, and the closer he gets, I can tell his passenger seat is empty. Disappointment and relief rush through me simultaneously. I’m not so sure which one supersedes the other.

Mav hops out, embracing me in a hug. “Damn, Amy. I kinda missed ya.”

I pat him on the chest and give what feels like the first genuine smile I’ve had all week.

My throat clogs with emotion because, yes, I missed Maverick too, but every fiber of my body aches from missing Cash.

“Come on, let’s see what this party is all about.” He opens his passenger door for me, and I climb inside.

Immediately, the notebook I gave Cash, one for himself and one for Mav, grabs my eye, tucked in the open part of the center console.

Maverick must catch me looking at it when he slides inside, because he says, “Oh, yeah, sorry. I’ve been meaning to thank you for that. It’s been really… What’s the word?”

But he answers for himself before I can try to help, “Therapeutic.”

“Good. I was worried y’all would think it was silly.”

He shakes his head. “Not at all. Maybe one day, I’ll share a few of my stories with you.” Smiling, he puts the car in drive.

“I’d love that,” I respond, and my mind flits back to Cash. I hope he continues to write in his too.

So many questions run on repeat as we pull out of the ranch, but I decide to ask the most pressing one, “Where’s Cash?”

Mav answers without skipping a beat. “He’s meeting us there.”

Us or you?

“Does he know I’m coming?” I ask hesitantly.

Mav’s eyes shift to me briefly, but he quickly looks back to the road. “Yes, he does.”

An awkward silence falls between us, and my nerves skyrocket, making me question if I should’ve even agreed to come to this party tonight.

“Look, Bellamy, I’m just going to say it. Cash was such an asshole all week, and I made him talk to me.”

I pull in a deep breath, knowing I’ll be holding it until he says what he has to say.

“The situation sucks, honestly, but I do think you made the right decision. Deep down, Cash knows that too. After the divorce, and then Jules, this is the first time our dad has done something that makes him truly happy, and you were right to say this would change everything.”

I go to say something, not even sure what, but Mav holds up one finger, pausing me.

“Buuut…with that said, there’s always a chance that, down the road, when we aren’t under their roof and you guys are adults that they could understand the connection you two have. It’s hard for me because I want this for my dad, but I also loved seeing how happy you made bubs this summer.”

I hear an emotion in Maverick’s voice I’m not used to him showing, and it tugs at my heart.

With a sad smile on my face, I tell him, “He made me happy too. All week, I’ve been wondering if I’d still have my best friend had I not let things move past that.”

Maverick takes in my words for a few seconds, as if he’s pondering something. “I’m going to share this with you, because I think you deserve to hear it, and I doubt he’ll tell you.”

My ears perk up to that and my pulse strums a little faster.

“He said something very similar to me this past week, but then he told me there was an unexplainable depth to your relationship that would not have let y’all deny that connection, no matter how hard you tried.”

I think another piece of my heart breaks, or heals. I can’t tell the difference anymore.

“So again, maybe now isn’t your time, but if that unexplainable connection remains, then I have no doubt it will bring you back to each other.”

Part of me wants to hold on to that hope, but the other part of me worries it’ll slowly ruin me.

An hour later, the party is in full force, and there’s still no sign of Cash.

“I’m sorry to cramp your style, boys, but I hardly know anyone else here,” I say from my seat beside Maverick on the back of Hudson’s truck.

Hudson is the first to respond, “We like having you around. I don’t know about Mav, but for me, you seem to keep the vultures away, and I appreciate that.” He nods toward Tori and her friends with the last part of his statement.

“Not your type of girls?” I ask curiously.

“Nope,” he says bluntly, and Maverick laughs.

The sight of the familiar Silverado truck pulling into the field has my stomach twisting in knots.

Maverick nods that way. “There’s Cash, finally gracing us with his presence.”

Unconsciously, or maybe consciously, my eyes fall to Tori, who, of course, has hawk eyes directed toward Cash.

His approach is slow, and my gaze traces every inch of him.

I’ve missed him so damn much, and it’s only been a week. How did we go from complete strangers to having the deepest connection I’ve ever had with another human being, even my own mother, within two months? And now, nothing? How am I supposed to get past this?

Not to mention, he’s so handsome, it’s almost ridiculous.

Somehow, his hair looks longer after just one week of being away.

And when he runs his hand through said hair, I want to melt on the spot.

I want to thread my fingers through that hair again while he kisses me, holds me, touches me like he never got to.

Cash glances our way, but he doesn’t let his eyes fall on me.

That fucking hurts.

Of course, out of nowhere, Little Miss Tori intercepts him. I expect him to give her a quick nod and move on past her, like he typically would, but instead, he follows her over to her group.

I can practically feel the steam rolling off me. I get we can’t be together, but her, of all people, and so fucking quickly?

Maverick must sense I’m fuming, because he places a gentle hand on my knee and squeezes. “He’s just being a fucking idiot, trying to make you jealous right now. Trust me, I was with him all week.”

Nodding, I take a deep breath to calm myself down. Mav’s probably right, but still, I don’t have to like it, especially not that girl.

Hudson and Mav do their best to take my mind off them.

They fill me in on different people here and what to expect at school, but every few minutes, my eyes trail back over to where Cash stands beside Tori, letting her lean back against him.

Like a fucking couple would do. I try to act like I’m paying attention to the guys, but really, I’m seething.

Forty-five minutes later, Cash is still in the same position, and I can’t take it anymore. “You’re going to regret bringing me to the party, because I may pull a bitch’s hair out and throw it in the fire if I don’t leave soon.”

Hudson looks at me, wide-eyed, and Maverick lets out a deep chuckle.

“I’m serious, Mav. How would you feel about me driving the Tahoe home? I can come back and get you later.”

“Mav, I could drop you,” Hudson offers.

“Nah, I’ll just take you home. This party is lame.” Maverick waves me off and stands up.

“You sure?” I ask, getting to my feet beside him.

He nods. “Yeah, but I do need to let Cash know.”

“Fuck him,” I say, but I don’t mean it as much as I wish I did.

Maverick laughs again, knowing I’m all bark and no bite right now.

“Okay, okay. I’ll meet you at the Tahoe,” I say, hopping off the tailgate and saying my goodbyes to Hudson as Maverick walks in Cash’s direction. I don’t even a glance back, scared of what I’ll see.

The Tahoe is locked, so I lean against the side of it, scrolling aimlessly on my phone so I don’t lose my mind.

Footsteps get closer, and when I look up, intending to find Mav, my eyes land on a very similar face, but with golden hues of pain etched into his brown gaze.

“Hey,” he says, and the sound of his voice makes my knees weak.

“Nice of you to finally speak to me,” I retort, channeling the anger I’m feeling from seeing him with her.

His face scrunches with disbelief. “Honestly, I didn’t think there was anything left to say. You made yourself pretty clear last week.”

I stand up straighter, pointing to my chest, my voice louder than before. “I made it clear we had no choice. That didn’t mean I expected you to ghost me after that.”

He takes a step closer. “My feelings haven’t changed in the past week, so unless you’re here to tell me yours have, then there’s nothing to say.”

I scoff, so frustrated I’m not sure whether to scream or sob. “Your feelings haven’t changed, yet you’re letting Tori hang all over you like a second skin.”

Cash drags his hands over his face, his eyes swirling with a mixture of emotions.

He turns to walk away, taking several steps before he whirls back around.

“Tell me to leave with you. Tell me you believe we can be together, no matter what. Tell me that, and I’ll walk away with you right here, right now. ”

For the first time tonight, I truly see the boy I’ve fallen in love with, the one trying to put up a front and protect his heart. And it kills me to do what I know I must do.

My throat tightens, and I beg myself not to cry, but tears invade my eyes. “You know I can’t, Cash.” I barely finish whispering the words before he’s walking away from me, further smearing the permanent stain left on our relationship.

And dragging my heart away with every step.