Page 20

Sophomore Year- MRU

“ G igi sent chicken casserole. I just need to heat it up.” I hear Bellamy’s southern drawl as I walk down the steps from my bedroom toward the kitchen.

It’s Sunday evening family dinner, as my twin calls it.

It was one of the first things Mav wanted to host when we moved into The Wolves Den with our cousin, Graham, this year.

So far, we have taken turns cooking, but when we’re lucky, Gigi sends something back with Bellamy after her Sunday morning ride with Mia.

One I don’t attend anymore. Not because she ever told me I couldn’t, but because I decided two years ago that the less alone time we had together, the better.

It was safer... For her, for me, and especially for my heart.

A heart I’ve been trying my damnedest to open up completely to someone else, someone who may have faults but loves and wants me, no matter what.

I remember being pissed the first week they invited the girls to dinner.

It’s hard enough for me to be around Bellamy when we’re all back at the ranch, much less here at Mountain Ridge, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t look forward to being in the same space as her.

Getting to see her smile at her friends and listen to her give Mav a hard time makes me happier than it should.

I stop just outside of the kitchen, taking a deep breath before I see her.

“You going to let me come to girls’ night this week? I’ve earned it, haven’t I?” Graham asks her, sticking his bottom lip out.

I know Graham isn’t flirting with Bellamy, but I hate the closeness she has with him and Maverick, no matter how hard I try not to.

Graham may not know me like Mav does, but he’s preceptive, and last year, he straight up asked me what my deal was with Bellamy.

I’ve brushed him off every time, but I know, deep down, he knows there’s more to our relationship.

“I’ll have to make sure Darbs and Berkley approve,” Bellamy teases back, referring to her roommates.

“You already know I’m Berkley’s bestie, and I’m convinced that I’m Darby’s favorite.”

“ Favorite is pushing it,” Darby hollers from the dining room.

“Will you do a duet with me at karaoke soon, if I say yes?” Bellamy asks, batting her eyelashes at him.

“You know I will,” Graham says with a big smile, turning up his southern charm. It’s funny to see him when he’s off the football field. For such a huge guy, he really is a big softy.

“Okay, you got a deal, but as always, what happens at girls’ night…” she starts, and he finishes, “Stays at girls’ nights.”

“Stop being a creep,” Maverick whispers, startling me as he walks past me into the kitchen.

I flip him off and follow him the rest of the way into the kitchen, not wanting them to notice me.

“Smells good. Did you cook it, Amy?” Maverick asks.

“I helped Gigi, but she did most of it.” She smiles as she reaches up to hug him.

And that’s when she notices me over his shoulder, and just like always when we make eye contact…

Her green eyes flash with pain before she quickly averts them from my own. I may not show it, but it kills me that she can’t even look at me.

Every once in a while, when she thinks I’m not looking, I notice her watching me, but those moments are few and far between, especially when Tori is around.

I wish Tori had me in the chokehold Bellamy does. It would make things a lot less complicated.

About fifteen minutes later, we’re all seated at the table. Our other two roommates are never around. They’re seniors on the football team, but they both have serious girlfriends and rarely stay here. Which is fine by me, since Graham is the only one of us who really knows them.

“Let's have an ABC party after the game this Saturday,” Maverick says in between bites.

And all three of the girls turn their noses up immediately.

“Please no, just no.” Darby puts her hands together in a begging motion.

“Yeah, some people take it too far,” Berkley quips before taking a sip of her Diet Coke.

“The guy who wore nothing but a condom last year took the Anything But Clothes theme to a whole new disturbing level,” Darby says, sticking her finger in her mouth like she’s gagging.

The memory has me scrunching my own nose because the dude was ridiculous.

“If ya’ll host one of those, I swear I’ll show up in nothing but saran wrap, just to make you regret it,” Bellamy chimes in.

Yeah, over my dead body.

“We aren’t hosting that shit. We can have a regular-ass party to celebrate the win,” I say immediately, shutting the idea down.

Mav holds up his hands. “Okay, okay. Well, can we host something small on Thursday too? Texas Tech plays the Thursday night game this week against Oklahoma, and it’s going to be a good one. I know Graham plans to watch his boy, Outlaw.”

Graham’s old teammate and friend from where he grew up in Nori beach is one of the top quarterbacks in the country.

“Yeah, after practice, I plan to come straight home and watch.” I don’t miss the way Graham’s facial expression turns concerned when he briefly looks at Berkley, who seems to be playing with her food now.

Interesting.

I know she grew up in Nori beach too... I wonder if there’s more to that.

“So Bellamy, what are we singing at the next karaoke night?” Graham quickly changes the subject.

She taps her finger against her chin. “Hmmm…you thinking country or rap?”

“Surprise me.” He grins with a waggle of his eyebrows.

Bellamy smiles, touching her finger to her head and pointing to him. “I like how you think, Leblanc.”

The effortlessly fun conversation between them feels like a knife is being twisted into my heart.

I shovel the rest of my food into my mouth, trying to tuck those thoughts away. I’m happy Bellamy has good friends and people in her life. She deserves that. I would never want anything but that for her.

I just wish I could be a part of her life too. And not the way I am now.

Think about Tori, Cash.

The girl who loves you and wants you, no matter what.

Once we’ve all finished, we keep up the stupid idea we came up with a couple of weeks ago to determine who will wash the dishes tonight.

One girl and one guy. The loser of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Tonight, of all nights, when my brain is all over the place, I lose to Graham in the final round. I swear I’m going to save up to buy us a dishwasher for this place.

“Damn it, I should have known you were going with paper,” Bellamy huffs at Berkley, who just beat her.

Of fucking course, we both lost.

“I don’t mind doing it,” Maverick says and I’m not sure if it's for my benefit or Bellamy’s, but I don’t hesitate with my response.

“Nah, I lost fair and square.”

I start gathering up my own dirty dishes, everyone else doing the same and bringing them to the sink.

Bellamy turns on the faucet, knowing exactly where the soap is as she reaches under the sink to grab it.

“I can wash if you want to dry and put away,” she says, keeping her eyes on her tasks.

I don’t answer her. Instead, I open the drawer with our dish towels, grabbing one out so I can use it to dry the dishes.

So many unspoken questions I want to ask her. So many racing thoughts running through my mind. But we work together in silence until I’m drying the last dish, and our friends’ laughter from the living room draws our attention.

“I’m sure Mav said something stupid.” Bellamy laughs to herself.

“I remember when we used to sit around and laugh like that together.” The words are out of my mouth before I can even consider what I’m saying.

Bellamy’s head slowly turns in my direction, her hands still down in the soapy water.

Her perfect lips are barely parted, and it’s so hard for me to take my eyes off them, but when she finally speaks, my eyes find hers.

“That’s the first time you’ve said something like that to me, in a long time.”

I release a slow breath. “Yeah, I know.”

“Why now?”

“I don’t know, Bellamy.”

She reaches for the dish towel, drying her hands off, and I can see her thoughts playing out across her beautiful green eyes before she holds up two fingers.

“Two years ago, when everything happened, I had no clue I would never get my best friend back in the process. I knew it would take time, but I didn’t realize it’d be like this. ”

“Two years ago, I still had hope too. Hope that you’d wake up one day and realize we could make us work.”

Her eyes narrow at that. “Oh, that’s interesting, since you had a girlfriend a few weeks later.” This time, her words come out with more bite than before.

“This isn’t about her,” I whisper, leaning back against the kitchen island.

“So you’re telling me she’d be okay with you being friends with me right now?” she asks, raising a challenging eyebrow.

“I’m the one who wouldn’t be okay with it.”

Bellamy flinches, and I can tell my words cut deeper than I intended, but I keep going, “I can’t handle being just your friend, Bellamy.

I’m not made that way.” I take a step closer to her before brushing her hair behind her ear.

The close contact sends my pulse into overdrive, especially when her green eyes lock onto mine.

“Not when it comes to you,” I whisper my truth, and her breath catches.

Unease churns in my gut as I walk out of the kitchen, serving as a reminder of why I keep my distance when it comes to Bellamy Clark.