Page 32 of Ties of Starlight (Tethered Hearts #2)

I donea was grateful they were riding so hard and fast there was no opportunity to talk.

Mostly because she didn't know what she would say. She didn't know what to make of it all. And part of her really didn't want to try and figure it out at the moment. It was all too much.

What mattered now was getting to the Constellation Pool and finishing her duty as Gytha's chosen. She brushed her fingers over the necklace.

But she couldn't avoid thinking about it entirely. About what would happen afterwards.

The second she touched the necklace, she felt Nyrunn's eyes on her, but he didn't try to speak over their horses’ thundering hooves. His wall was still up.

She didn’t know what that meant.

Finally, they reached the hills and ruins surrounding the Constellation Pool, riding right to the edge of the camp and coming to a screeching halt as the rest of the camp rushed out to meet them. The Constella looked ready to combust as Nyrunn swung off his horse, and before she could even attempt to slide off hers, he was lifting her up and down.

His fingers curled into her waist. “Idonea, please, free yourself. Make this life your last. My life, my love, all of me is yours. Whether you do or not, that remains true. You'll be my last. All I ask is that if you love me, let me be yours as well.”

“Your Majesty, you and Gytha's chosen must get ready now if we're to do this in time!” The Constella started dragging Nyrunn away as Lady Asa did the same to Idonea.

Idonea was the only one who could break the cycle.

She hadn't murdered Olaug.

He'd left her anyway.

Idonea was shoved into a tent and Lady Asa and the maids made quick work of getting Idonea out of her dusty travel clothes and cleaned up before dressing her in the last Cometa Couple outfit. It was a simpler one than the others. It was a mixture of purple and dark blue shifting into each other, decorated with stars, but in a simple silhouette. A straight-line skirt that was gathered slightly at the waist with a belt, still quite a bit of fabric, which Idonea always thought was ridiculous since she was about to get soaking wet in it. The top was gathered at the shoulders, and the style was loose, not that it mattered since it was about to get stuck to her skin from the water. Idonea's hair was let down, for once not up in any kind of elaborate style. It wasn't even pulled back in a braid.

There wasn't time to make it look perfect. Loose would just have to do. Idonea was rushed out of the tent to see Nyrunn also being ushered out by his attendants toward the stairs. Her breath caught in her throat as he was dressed to match her. No crown, no royal insignia or adornments, just Nyrunn .

He was safe with her. But could she trust he wouldn’t one day get tired of her and leave her?

He looked back at her as they were both ushered through a path cleared in the large crowd and up the stairs built into the hill’s slope, toward the Constellation Pool at the top. The guards took up their positions, blocking the stairs to prevent anyone in the crowd from interrupting. The sun vanished and the stars took over the sky. The comet broke across the inky darkness.

They didn’t really have time for this. But she did it anyway. She broke away from Asa and ran across the stone until she grabbed Nyrunn by the arm. She kept her voice low. “Why were you going to Olaug’s room before the wedding? Why did you even find the letter to yourself in the first place?”

Nyrunn caught her by the arms and whispered, “Because I was in agony over the fact that I was losing you when I never actually had you, and if the only thing I could do for you now was as king, I was going to use that to ensure your husband honored you and cared for you and was faithful to you until the end of your days or he would have to answer to me. The same reason I followed you to the library the night before. I needed to know you were going to be happy and you were going to have everything you ever wanted even if it wasn’t with me.”

Lady Asa grabbed Idonea by the arm and hissed, “Idonea, we have to start the ceremony!”

And Idonea was dragged away right as Frode pulled Nyrunn away as well so they could continue on their traditional path to the Constellation Pool.

Asa kept a tight grip on Idonea as she marched her right up to her pool and Nyrunn was in front of his as the Constella launched into the rite, speaking much faster than usual to make up for lost time .

Idonea wasn't listening to him. She was just staring at Nyrunn, who was just out of arm's reach, and he was staring back at her. It was the look that had been plaguing her for so long. That she'd never understood.

She did now.

It was love.

Olaug had never loved her.

“Agnarr's chosen.”

Nyrunn lifted his hand, and the starlight lines glowed, nearly blinding as the comet trailed above them, pulsing as they connected.

“Gytha's chosen.”

She stretched her arm out diagonally like Nyrunn's. Her fingertips brushed his.

The magic flooded her arm, the familiar exhilarating sensation burrowing deep into her soul as she recognized the source her life was connected to. The necklace glowed.

“Now, into the pool, the lifeblood of our people. May Agnarr and Gytha's union bless us from now until the return of the great comet.”

Lady Asa took Idonea by the shoulder and helped tip her back until she fell straight into the pool as Frode did the same for Nyrunn.

The water was cool like always, glistening with the light of the stars, and Idonea sank into her destiny. She wasn't afraid of it. She wasn't wincing, her lungs had plenty of air in them for now. Instead, she kept sinking down into the depths of the pool that stretched so far down, she'd never before reached the bottom, not even on her most adventurous searches.

It was impossibly dark save for the stars in the water.

Idonea opened her eyes as she kept sinking down, and the comet and the moon above got smaller the farther away she got from the surface. Her arm glowed, the light shining and the magic swelling. As the lines on her arm began to fade and the bond connecting her and Nyrunn began to spread across the land, her blood started to thunder in response. All her people’s magic began to pulse and strengthen as the last ritual was completed. Her skirts floated around her, her hair dancing around her in the water as she kept sinking faster and faster.

The necklace floated, the pendant hovering in front of her, glowing, and her magic, her soul hummed in response.

The comet's magic was filling her. Her life tied to it.

And this was the moment all her lives were so much clearer. She could see them all in the water around her, the memories that tormented her. The deaths.

She turned to her left as she kept sinking, and she saw it. What Olaug had said, the missing piece of her last death.

The illusion falling as the Moon Elf lunged for him and stabbed him in the heart as Idonea screamed her heartbreak and rage before launching herself at the enemy.

She watched her past life fight with the girl over the dagger, Idonea nearly losing her life several times before it was over and she was scrambling back to Olaug's side, crying as she tried to stop the bleeding, but it was too late. The position Bror found her in seconds later.

Then Idonea sank deeper. She reached the bottom of the pool, settling on the silt.

She looked back up at the surface so far away, the echoes of her past lives filling the space between her and her exit. Where Nyrunn was waiting. He had to have exited by then. Full-blooded elves couldn't hold their breath as long as she could. They'd both been in long enough for the ceremony to be complete.

What would she choose?

She dug her hands into the silt, magic thrumming as she thought back. Slowly, the memories of six lifetimes began to fade as the memories of her seventh overtook the space.

And Olaug wasn't in any of them.

Nyrunn was.

And Asa. And Frode even.

Nyrunn's attempts at flirting with her that she took as cruelty. The way he'd looked up at her as she watched from the library window a dance in the courtyard she couldn’t attend even as he was dancing with someone else. How he'd rushed up to her the morning before the ceremony where she'd been selected as part of the Cometa Couple, and he'd been so full of light, but what he'd been going to ask her had to wait as she'd been rushed away with the other girls with human blood. How he'd found her afterward and his demeanor had flipped while she'd been over the moon. Painfully obvious now that she looked back on it.

The way he'd stared at her, silent in his agony over the next year while she'd been convinced this was the life she'd have everything she ever wanted.

The night before the wedding. Him catching her. Asking if she'd be happy.

Him taking off her veil.

The asterberry cake he'd ensured she'd have even when she was marrying another man. Every time he rushed to her side after a nightmare. All the times he held her. All the times he'd held his tongue. The Heava Dance.

Riding side by side. Wandering around their campsites, laughing. Carrying her down the cliff.

Kissing her.

None of her other lives had ever had anything like this.

Olaug hadn't run off because she'd killed him in his last life. He'd run off because she was never going to be good enough for him. There was no amount of perfection she could achieve to make him choose to love her .

And...

As she looked up at the vast evidence before her of the overwhelming love she’d already received, a few more appeared.

The way she lit up when Nyrunn approached, the warmth flooding her as she picked up her pace to reach him even a moment faster. Running her fingers through his hair, no longer sick with jealousy, but soft sighs as she admired the colors. The way his soft eyes had her slowly unfurling the darkest parts of herself, letting him into her infinitely decimated mind. Teaming up to tease Frode.

The conversations she had with Asa, the girl blind to her own feelings for Nyrunn’s righthand man.

Idonea was a hypocrite.

Here it all was, staring her in the face.

She ripped the necklace off and her lungs began to burn as the metal fell and sank into the dirt as Idonea pushed up.

The gems’ glow vanished, and they would never glow again. They were going to stay there in the silt for the rest of time.

She started swimming back up to the surface, kicking her legs as fast and furiously as possible.

One choice.

Keep chasing perfection in an endless cycle or choose to love the life she had.

Continue letting a broken cycle tear her to shreds because she was never enough, death after death, atrocity after atrocity all in the name of a love she could never have. Or let it go.

She'd loved Olaug.

Once.

But she couldn't make him stay.

She didn't want to.

She was ready to stay this time .

She was ready for this love. For this life.

She was ready to one day breathe her last, and it was going to be a sigh of relief.

Idonea burst through the surface with a harsh, deep gasp to bring relief to her burning lungs. The crowd burst into applause, and Lady Asa bent down to help Idonea climb out, a maid standing by with a towel, but Idonea was moving too fast, digging her nails into the ground as she clawed her way back up. She stumbled to her feet, her hair sticking to her face, far too long and dripping everywhere. Her dress clung to her skin, threatening to tangle in her legs, but she just hiked it up, ducking the maid's attempt to throw the towel around her as she found what she was looking for.

She'd already found what she'd spent seven lives looking for, and she'd been so blind to it.

Nyrunn.

He was staring at her and her pool, standing toward the back. She was certain she looked as feral as they believed her human blood could make her as she ran right at him.

He had a towel wrapped around his shoulders, eyes widening and lips parting when he spotted her bare neck.

She ignored the crowd watching below them at the foot of the tall hill, the fact that this wasn't tradition, and she ran right at him until she was crashing into him. He stumbled back, catching her as she nearly sent them to the ground. His arms went around her waist, and before he could speak, she was dragging his face down to hers. He startled slightly before returning the kiss, pulling her closer and cupping her cheek with his hand. Her hands slid into his soaking wet hair before dropping to his shoulders as she had to push herself onto her toes, grabbing his collar, trying to keep him from pulling away, but he broke away breathless .

He opened his mouth, but she beat him to it, reaching up and cradling his face as she said in a low voice, “You. I choose you. I choose this life. I'm ready to live for the very last time, and I want to do it with you.”

Nyrunn gaped down at her, brushing his palm over the empty space where the necklace had been. He breathed out, a smile twitching at his lips, his eyes hooded. “You broke the cycle?”

She nodded, brushing her thumb over his cheek, staring up at him, her hair wild and sticking to her cheeks. “I did. I'm not coming back. Not ever again. I've got one last life.”

“Why?”

“Because I don't need to come back anymore. I have everything I was ever looking for. One good life where I’m loved. I have you. What more could I find? What more could I want when all I want is you?”

“Idonea…”

She kissed him again, pulling back and bouncing on her toes slightly. “You have breathed life back into this old, broken soul and resurrected my heart. I love you. I love you with more of me than I've been for the past six lives. With you I'm more me than I’ve ever been. And it terrified me, falling into you when all I’ve known was a one-sided, soul-sucking obsession that was killing me from the inside out. But I want to stay this time, and I only want that because it's you.”

Nyrunn kissed her again, and her heart jolted in her chest before he pulled back, beaming down at her, pure wonder pouring out from his eyes. “I may not have six other lives with which to love you with, but I have this one, and I will love you with all the strength of the stars.”

“You already have.” Idonea smiled up at him. “My husband, be my last. Be my last love. Be my last life. All of me is yours. You're not a footnote. You're not an obstacle in my way. You're it. I will love you with everything I have in this messy, crowded mind and this rabid, half-human heart. You're the ending I choose.”

“Your brilliant mind and overflowing half-human heart which I love so well make you who you are. You are enough. Perfection is not required, and I love you far above its necessity. My wife, desire of my heart, be my queen.”

She nodded against his forehead. “I will not have you halfway, and I will not be yours halfway anymore.”

He wrapped his arms around her, whooping as he spun her; the fact that they were both still soaking wet and their clothes stuck to them meant they sent water everywhere, but no one was going to reprimand the king for it as he set her down. He pulled her along to the edge so the crowd could see them better and where Frode was waiting with the crown.

Nyrunn let go of Idonea to take his place to address their people, trying to regain his regal bearing, but a grin lingered on his lips and his eyes still shined brighter than the stars.

“Adastra, it goes without saying as you all feel it in your blood like I do, but your Cometa Couple has succeeded in following Agnarr and Gytha’s footsteps. Our magic is surging in strength and our enemies would be fools to set their sights on us now. But this is more than even just our most sacred and powerful ritual. This is a day that will go down in all history, as for the first time in Adastra’s existence, Gytha’s chosen is also crowned as your queen.”

And to Idonea’s surprise, most of them cheered.

She stepped forward, kneeling in front of him, the crowd’s energy rising as the coronation began. Nyrunn turned from them, taking the crown from Frode, who gave him a wide smile. She bowed her head, breathing deeply and savoring every second of new life filling her lungs.

“Lady Idonea, as my wife and consort, do you so pledge to serve Adastra faithfully beside me, ensuring justice and defending her people?”

“I do.”

The crown was settled on her wet hair, Nyrunn taking care to secure it, before he trailed his fingers down to her jaw and gently tilted it up.

“Rise, my love.”

She did so as Nyrunn gestured to the crowd. “People of Adastra, I give you your queen, Queen Idonea. Do you pledge your fealty to her as your ruler alongside King Nyrunn, whom you have already vowed your fealty to?”

The crowd answered, Lady Asa’s and Frode’s voices the loudest as they were the closest, “We do.”

Lady Asa immediately began clapping as the rest quickly joined her. Idonea turned to face Nyrunn, but her husband was already kissing her again.

When she pulled back, she whispered beneath the crowd’s noise, “Heavens, we actually made it. I can’t believe this is real.”

Nyrunn grinned. “All that's left is to go home and start living.”

Idonea looked up at him through her eyelashes. “I hear that's the hard part. I've never gotten this far.”

Nyrunn pressed a kiss to her hand. “Then, it's my honor and duty to embark on this with you.”

“I'm ready.” She nodded. “I'm ready to stop doing this alone.”

He crushed her to himself, and she buried her head against his heart. The weight of six lives that had been attached to her shoulders began to slip away with the comet crossing the sky. The pain, the loneliness, the obsessions all slowly faded as she focused on the heartbeat she would listen to every night for the rest of her one, last life .

As perfect an ending as she had always dreamed of, and with a husband she'd never imagined she could have. This life was better than what she would have chosen for herself.

She didn't need it to be perfect. Perfection was overrated anyway.

Especially when this imperfect love and imperfect life was all hers. Idonea's. Not Inga. Not Idunn. All that was left was just one life. Time to live it.