Page 11 of Ties of Starlight (Tethered Hearts #2)
I donea had never had this problem before. In a few previous lifetimes, after she and Olaug were married, they were both dealing with their memories of their past lives haunting them at night so they both understood enough to not talk about it. In the lifetimes she remembered and he didn’t, he didn’t take much of an interest in her nightmares, so she never had to hide anything about them from him.
She knew what to do anytime she’d wanted Olaug to leave something alone, which wasn’t hard, given he’d been very content to let things lie. His focus always flitting to something new. He wasn’t someone who really sought out conflict or went looking for problems. That’s why she’d learned how to wall off her emotions in the first place, so Olaug wouldn’t notice or be disturbed by her.
She didn’t know Nyrunn inside and out the way she did Olaug. This was all uncharted territory. For a girl who’d lived this life more times than anyone ever should have, that was terrifying .
And yet, there was something thrilling about it as well.
But mostly terrifying.
She woke up to Nyrunn not having returned to his usual spot either by the exit or in the chair—instead he had fallen asleep on the ground beside the bed. Her new husband… She still couldn’t quite make the measure of him. He’d gotten angry, but there’d been some restraint in him. Surprising, given his relations weren’t known for it, and her previous life had more than seen her fair share of it.
Maybe his cruelty was more one of words than of blows. She could at least be grateful for that.
In this life and her last, Hrorr’s reputation had been more than enough to cause Idonea to never want to be the object of his displeasure. Bror…
She may not know Nyrunn the way she knew Olaug, but she had known Bror, and so far she saw more similarities between them than differences. The same stern countenance. The sharp little digs. The commanding air. Not to mention the physical resemblance. Whether Nyrunn was worse or not remained to be seen; she hadn’t been married to Bror.
She shuddered to think of her fate if that catastrophe had occurred.
She made quick work of getting ready and escaped the tent before Nyrunn stirred. She hovered outside the tent, watching as the nobles got ready to depart as well. Lady Katla shot her a look—Idonea’s tears the night before had been sparked by Lady Katla saying Olaug had probably run off after seeing her in the dress she’d worn to the banquet before the wedding and how not even the skirts could hide just how much there was of her.
Idonea ignored her as best she could, but even after so many lifetimes of hearing these remarks, she still hadn’t quite gotten her skin thick enough for them not to pierce her. She did, however, have bigger concerns, especially since she still couldn’t shake the feeling of water plunging into her mouth and ripping the air out of her lungs. Not her most recent death, but a fairly traumatic one. She and Olaug had been kidnapped the night before they were to be submerged in the Constellation Pool. The humans they’d been at war with at the time had thought it quite ironic to drown them in that very water. Expected from a kingdom of alchemists; they loved that sort of thing.
Unfortunately for them, they hadn’t realized the comet was just visible enough in the sky that it had completed the ceremony and benefitted their people even if they’d killed the couple in the process.
The next time Idonea had come back, they had peace with the alchemists of Chymes.
She always missed a lot in the years between her lives.
Of course, Idonea did not enjoy reliving any of her memories, but she managed them. The problem was she now had to manage them without arousing Nyrunn’s suspicion. She didn’t know him. She couldn’t predict him. He’d reacted poorly to even just her concern for Olaug’s well-being. If he discovered that she’d lived other lives where she’d been married to him…
He may not be happy about being stuck with her, but he clearly considered her to be his even if he didn’t want her, unsurprising for Bror’s nephew. As king, of course, he couldn’t afford for his wife to be the subject of gossip regarding another man or to be made a laughingstock himself.
The truth that there had been six lives where she had been Olaug’s wife… He was not likely to take that well. She didn’t want to test his restraint that far. Worse, if he discovered sh e was the same girl that had been part of the last Cometa Couple—there was no telling what he might do to her.
He could very well be more like his uncle than he so claimed.
The problem was her nightmares were only going to get worse. They weren’t far from the ruins at Heava.
Idonea hoped that would be the worst of it, and if she could get past that, then she could make it through everything else, finish the rituals, and then figure out what she was going to do with the rest of this life until she got her next chance to do it right.
“Idonea!”
She whipped around to see Nyrunn exiting the tent, carrying her bag. Her heart jolted. She hadn’t grabbed it because she’d been in such a rush to get away from him and he’d been between her and the bag containing her darkest secrets. “I figured you’d want this.”
She quickly scrambled to take it from him, slinging it over her shoulder and pushing the bulk of it behind her. “You didn’t have to do that, Your Majesty. I was coming back for it.”
“Maybe it was just my excuse to try again to get you to use my name,” he said, giving her a pointed look.
He was putting on a good act. This Nyrunn seemed very little like the one from the night before. Or maybe she just wasn’t used to him being in a good mood over the last year. Although, he had no reason to be in a good mood at the moment either.
“Is it necessary?”
“To use my name? Well, I’m asking you nicely to and not ordering you around like you seem to think I exclusively do. ”
Was his soft, playful grin just an act to try to get her to lower her guard?
“Then, if it won’t interfere with the ritual, I’ll stick to the respect your position entails, Your Majesty.” Part of her was curious to see how quickly it would take him to crack at her defiance, but instead of any of the annoyance or anger she’d expected, he just stepped back with a shrug, soft smile never faltering.
“If you insist,” Nyrunn said. He then gestured to the horse being led over to them, Idonea’s steed. Before she could figure out where he was going with that, the horse came to a stop and she was being lifted into the air. A startled yelp ripped out of her throat as he set her on the saddle. Lately she’d been making do with a boost from the servant who brought her horse to her.
“Why did you do that? I need to—” Before she could even attempt to set her bag in its usual place and secure it, he was pulling the strap out of her hand and moving to do it himself.
“Don’t lose your head. I am capable of securing a bag as well; you’re not the only one with that rare set of skills,” Nyrunn said, and as he moved to do so, the flap shifted to show a peek at the books inside. Her heart was crawling up her throat, but he was focused on his work. “Although why you’re hauling around these books is beyond me. I know you practically lived in the library, but surely you can manage a few weeks without breaking your back over them? Especially for a copy of my uncle’s account of the last Cometa Couple. It’s like you want to worry yourself sick about what could happen.”
“I’m half-human,” Idonea sneered, grabbing at the reins as her heart leapt to her throat. The last thing she needed was him digging into that. “What point is there in someone like you trying to understand me? ”
He looked up, leaning in, one hand on the horse’s flank and the other on her knee. He smirked. “Your husband, you mean? Ah, an incomprehensible mystery, to be sure, why I might seek to understand my own wife.”
Heat flooded her cheeks, and she had to be turning bright red. But that didn’t stop her from glaring at him.
He squeezed her knee and said, “Now, it would make much more sense to me if you were carrying around a journal. This is a momentous experience; having the first-hand account of Gytha’s chosen would be something indeed.”
Had he gone looking when she’d left the bag in the tent? She started to lean forward, forgetting her precarious position, and he quickly caught her, righting her even as she hissed, “How dare you invade my privacy and—”
“What are you talking about? Is one of those books a journal? I didn’t touch any of them.”
He hadn’t?
She was being paranoid, and her panic had loosened her tongue far more than she could afford. She sat back in her saddle, shifting to try and dislodge his hands still on her sides, but they didn’t leave. “If you must know, I have found great comfort in reading historical accounts of previous Cometa Couples. I can learn from their failures to ensure I fulfill my role perfectly. If you are interested in studying them for yourself and your own edification, all I request is that you at least ask before taking one since I went to the trouble of bringing them and am responsible for them.”
He would have no such interest, she was certain of that, but even if he did, that should give her enough warning to keep him from coming across any of her journals that could reveal the truth.
And why was he still touching her? He should be pulling his hands away and going to wash them like she was a flea-ridden mongrel.
It’d been three lifetimes since the first time she’d heard that insult and it was still rattling around her head. To be fair, Bror had used it often as well. It wasn’t even clever.
“That sounds reasonable, and thank you for the offer.” His fingers shifted, running over the fabric as he looked up at her and sending a rush through her wherever they went. “Idonea, about last night—”
“Your Majesty! We must get moving if we are to keep on schedule!” Idonea looked over her shoulder to see Lord Frode heading their way, on his steed. The lord received a fierce glare from Nyrunn, and he blanched immediately, taking in the scene before him. Idonea, however, welcomed the interruption.
But Frode was already turning around and saying, “Just say the word when you’re ready, Your Majesty!”
Nyrunn sighed, shaking his head. “He’s useful, but at what cost?”
Idonea couldn’t help her laugh. She’d known Nyrunn had wit, given she’d often been on the unfortunate end, but she hadn’t expected him to pull a laugh from her. From the way his eyes lit up and his lips quirked, he hadn’t seemed to expect it either.
It didn’t mean anything. Bror had occasionally made comments when she’d been around that had earned a snort from her, only for him to then point out just how human the noise was and belittle her for it.
“Anyway, I won’t belabor the point. All I was going to say was that I would like to set aside the past and start fresh with each other. I think it will make the rest of this trip, and our marriage as a whole, much smoother if we can be peaceable at the very least.”
Idonea preferred being ignored by him. But she supposed he had a point, and she couldn’t exactly refuse him. She nodded. “Alright. Peaceable sounds within reach.”
Nyrunn finally pulled his hands back and went to mount his own steed. Idonea quickly took up her reins and hurried to the rest of their party to take her place at the back like usual. Peaceable didn’t mean she had to be attached to him.