Page 21 of Ties of Starlight (Tethered Hearts #2)

A ll day, just when Nyrunn finally thought he’d be done and able to escape back to check on Idonea, something else sank its claws into him. Usually Frode.

They were a whole day behind schedule, and it had broken Frode’s mind.

It was also likely he was being more frantic and panicked about the delay because of how close the elf had come to dying if not for Nyrunn, who by all accounts should have left him behind in the name of protecting himself as both king and Agnarr’s chosen.

So Nyrunn did his best to be patient with him even though all he wanted to do was snap at him to figure it out so he could go back to his wife.

He could feel the flickers of her emotions on the other end of the bond, but mostly the deep ache of her wounds. In the morning, as he’d been trying to go over the maps with Frode, the Constella, and the captain of the guard about their route, he’d felt Idonea’s ache and tried to take on some, but couldn’t get ahold of any of it. He supposed he could only do that if he was closer, possibly even touching her.

Between Frode, the Constella, and the captain, all concerned about their timing and the possibility of another Moon Elf attack, Nyrunn’s head was pounding by noon, and he didn’t escape until sunset.

They’d readjusted their route so they would still hit their camps and make up for the lost time as well as sent messengers out to round up more security and send scouts ahead of their group to ensure there would be no more Moon Elf attacks. They hadn’t been able to take any of the Moon Elves alive in their focus on escaping. The dead ones hadn’t had anything on them that would mark them as soldiers. When Nyrunn did send word to the Moon Elf king, the only response he was going to get would be that they were criminals and he was happy Nyrunn had killed them.

Nyrunn wasn’t fool enough to believe that story, but without proof, all he would do would be starting a war they didn’t stand a chance at winning even if he and Idonea finished the ritual. Completing the ritual and using the comet only made them strong enough to survive and not worth the fight for the Moon Elves.

Nyrunn slipped back into the tent to see Idonea sleeping, on her back thankfully, while Asa was almost but not quite dozing in the chair beside her. Asa blinked her eyes open and startled awake. She pushed herself up so she could curtsy. “Your Majesty.”

“How was she?” Nyrunn asked as he came inside. Idonea didn’t stir.

“She didn’t complain about anything. She spent most of the day sleeping.”

“Thank you, Lady Asa. I appreciate it,” Nyrunn said as he moved to kneel beside Idonea.

“It was my honor. I hope…” Lady Asa’s eyes landed on Id onea again. “She saved my life as well as yours. I tried to tell her, but she wouldn’t listen. I hope maybe I’ll have the chance to convince her, as a friend, how much that meant to me.”

Nyrunn smiled. “I hope you do too.”

Lady Asa returned his grin, and now that she had his approval, she left the tent, holding the flap. “Will you be staying here, or moving to your tent tonight, Your Majesty?”

Nyrunn looked over the tiny cot. He certainly didn’t want to cram himself and Idonea both on it. He brushed a hand over Idonea’s good shoulder. “Hey, little lily, are you awake?”

She blinked her eyes open, a quick flash of panic ripping through the bond before her eyes landed on him and she calmed. What was that about?

She muttered, “I am now.”

“Come on, this cot isn’t very comfortable and we both know it.” Nyrunn slid his arms under her and hefted her up into them as he stood up. Idonea squeaked, grabbing at his shirt with her good hand. Asa held the tent flap for him as he carried Idonea out, a pretty blush spreading across her cheeks as they stepped out into the golden-painted camp.

Every eye in the vicinity turned their way and Nyrunn held her tighter. Thankfully, most of them were looks of respect, given that she’d saved their king and managed not to die, which would have condemned them all in the process. But it shouldn’t have taken such drastic actions for them to give her the respect she deserved.

“You’re making a scene,” Idonea muttered as he carried her through camp.

“Actually, you made a scene during the fight. I’m just carrying my brave but misguided wife to our tent so we can continue our conversation and then go to bed since we head out again in the morning. ”

“How badly are we delayed?” Idonea asked, her grip on him tightening.

“Don’t spend a single second worrying about it. I’ve taken care of it. It took all day, but it’s handled. Your only priority right now is healing.”

She didn’t say anything in response. She just kept staring at the buttons on his shirt, cheeks red, and ignoring everyone who looked their way and whispered about them.

He swept her into their tent, carrying her straight to the bed. He tried to move the blankets first, but she swatted at him with her good hand. “I have a bad shoulder and some sore ribs. I can handle a few blankets.”

He was forced to set her down and she managed to kick at the blankets until she slid her legs under them. “Forgive me for trying to take care of you.”

Idonea pulled the blankets up to her chest again as she sat back against the pillows. “Your fussing isn’t necessary.”

“You took a dagger meant for me into your ribs and you almost died in my arms. I think I’m entitled to however much fuss I want to make over you.”

Why was she being so difficult about this?

Idonea just stared at the arm tucked into a sling against her nightgown.

“Don’t think we’re done with our conversation from earlier. If you’re well enough to be difficult with me, you’re well enough for this.” Nyrunn crossed his arms as he stood by the bedside.

“Fine. Say what you want. You won’t let me stop you.”

“Tell me, when you ran out and called my name, what were you trying to do? Were you trying to save me? Or were you trying to die?”

Idonea’s head snapped up and the blush turned into a furious red. “Do you think I’m that selfish? That I would condemn Adastra to weakening again, or increase the certainty the Moon Elves would attack just so I could skip ahead to my next life? I could do that at any point, but I haven’t. I wasn’t looking for a clever way to die. I saw you were in danger. I weighed our lives. Yours is more valuable than mine, and I chose yours with the comfort that I was leaving Adastra with a capable, strong king who would be able to see them through until I came back and tried again to fix this mess. I won’t pretend my coming back wasn’t in my mind, but your life was first and foremost.”

Nyrunn wanted to believe her. It would be so easy to apologize for his accusation and put it all to rest. But…

“Is that all it was? Making the smart choice? If I wasn’t the king, what would you have done then?”

“I went back to save Asa. Isn’t that answer enough?” Idonea looked back down at the blankets. Something on the other end of the bond flickered. What was it?

“But you certainly weren’t worried about everyone else we left behind. Why Asa?”

“It wasn’t anything about Asa. I just saw her, and I’m the only one in this group who has actually experienced such attacks by the Moon Elves before. Do you think the amount of arrow shaft I left was a happy accident? If you believe me, then you know that’s not the first time I’ve been shot.”

“But you’re Gytha’s chosen. You know you have to be protected.” He was trying to hold back his frustration but it kept seeping into his tone all the same. “Why didn’t you go with the guards like I told you to?”

“You were still there. What did it matter if I escaped if you didn’t? We needed both of us to make it out for the ritual.”

Nyrunn knelt on the ground, reaching for the hand resting on the blankets. She looked over at him. “Was that really it? You couldn’t bear the thought of leaving me behind?”

Idonea closed her eyes. “What do you want me to say?”

“If you knew what I wanted you to say…” Nyrunn took a deep breath. “I need you to tell me the truth. I know it. You know that I do. Don’t pretend otherwise.”

“I’m not trying to die.”

“I’m not saying that. But you were far more careless with your life because you know you’ll have another. You went back because you think your life has less value even though you’re the most important woman in Adastra.” Nyrunn squeezed her hand gently, voice softening. “You cannot be so reckless. You didn’t even think what I would do if I lost you.”

Idonea’s brow furrowed and she pulled her hand away. “Of course I did. The ritual would be ruined, but you would be able to continue on, marry, secure your line, and face the Moon Elves when they came.”

She didn’t understand.

He shouldn’t have hoped maybe there was something else beneath it all that had been the real reason she’d nearly died for him.

“I am furious with you.” Nyrunn’s voice darkened. If she didn’t feel anything for him the way he did for her, fine, but that didn’t mean he would let her think what she’d done was acceptable. “You cannot be reasoned with.”

“You mean you cannot force me to apologize for saving your life.” But Idonea’s voice faltered at the end.

“I am not —” Nyrunn’s voice rose and Idonea immediately shifted away with her good hand. “What… What are you doing?”

Idonea froze. Her hand was shaking, fingers curled into the blanket. She looked so small. He couldn’t deny the feeling rising on the other side of the bond .

When was she ever going to stop being terrified of him?

He shifted back and lowered his voice. “I’m not trying to yell. I would never hurt you.”

Idonea ducked her head. Then, in a tiny whisper, “When you get angry, you sound like him. Bror, I mean.”

Right. It was a wonder she could even stand to be in the same room as him most of the time.

She continued, saying, “I know you’re not. It’s just… I don’t always remember you’re not instantly. You’re not him. You’re a much better man than he was, especially throughout all of this.”

Nyrunn’s head was pounding. Idonea was alive.

That alone was enough to be grateful for.

And even if it wasn’t for the reason he wanted it to be, she had stayed in the fight because of him and she’d thrown herself on a dagger to save his life. Would it be so awful to pretend for one more night it had been because she loved him even a fraction as much as he loved her?

“Let’s just go to bed. Our fights will still be there in the morning.”

Idonea nodded, and just as she started to sink back, he had taken the blankets and thrown them aside. She gasped, but he was already behind her, pulling her into his arms the way he had the night before, one arm wrapped around her waist and his legs parted to make room as he pulled the blankets back up.

“Nyrunn—”

“Are you in pain?” He cut off her protest, taking his other hand and wrapping it around her good one.

“I’m sore, but I’ll be fine. Really, this is unnecessary. If I roll over, the pain will wake me up and I’ll correct it. This can’t be comfortable.”

“If you weren’t injured, I’d tell you to try sleeping on the ground for a night and then you’d see this is actually far more comfortable. Now, be quiet and go to sleep. I’m not doing this for me.”

He could see Idonea’s expression screwed up as she puzzled over what that meant instead of listening to him and going to sleep. He just focused on the warmth of her skin beneath his hand and the bond running between them.

Then he started taking on her pain.

She let out a gasp, jolting slightly before settling back into his arms and against his chest. “What… What’s happening?”

“Hush, little lily. You’ve been in pain all day—no matter what you might have told Lady Asa, you can’t fool me.” Nyrunn tilted his head back against the pillows as the ache overtook his senses.

“It’s… Is this you?” Idonea stirred again in his arms, and he tightened his grip. “Are you taking my pain?”

Not willing to get into another ridiculous fight, he closed his eyes. “Go to sleep.”

Idonea’s whole body shuddered, and he opened his eyes to see her twisting. Her eyes were spilling over with tears. Why? She should be in less distress because of this. Why couldn’t she just let him do this?

“Nyrunn—stop. Please, stop!”

He jolted up, keeping her in his arms, but let go of the pain as she twisted to face him. She grabbed his shirt with her good hand, shaking her head, but the motion didn’t hide her sobs. “What—What was that?”

“Exactly what you guessed. I was just trying to help. Why are you crying?”

“I didn’t—” Idonea choked on another sob and he pulled her closer until her head was cradled against his chest. “That’s not possible. I’ve lived six other lives and I’ve had this bond six times. I’ve never—No one has ever done that before.”

Idonea hadn’t even known this was possible? Which meant…

All the agony she’d ever endured, Olaug had never once even thought to try to bear some of it for her. Nyrunn was the first one who had ever tried to ease her suffering.

Nyrunn rested his head on hers as she buried her head into his chest. “It’s an honor to bear your pain for you.”

She shook her head. Then she lifted it just enough to look up at him. “Wait… You already knew this was possible. Did you… Did you do this yesterday? When they were healing me?”

He nodded.

She shuddered again. “Why?”

“You were in pain.”

“No. I don’t…” Idonea sobbed. “I don’t understand. ”

Six other lifetimes and she couldn’t even begin to fathom that someone might actually care for her. She couldn’t understand how much he loved her.

Did she have any idea what love really was?

So, he didn’t answer. He just held her while she cried until her eyes fluttered shut. He shifted her back to their original position and he kept pulling her pain into him, hoping maybe one day soon she’d be able to understand his love for her.