Page 34 of The Wish

I n her apartment, curled up in a blanket for comfort, with an empty coffee cup and box of tissues competing for space on the small table beside her, Kelly watches another black and white movie.

A lamp in the corner of the room provides a sliver of light, the half-moon shining through a window she hasn’t bothered to draw the blinds on adding to the eerie mood in the room.

Realising she has not followed the movie playing out in front of her, that she’s missed something, what’s being said is not making sense to her, she hits the mute button and the room goes quiet.

She’s stumbled on an old movie she’s never seen before, Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm which is playing on silently.

She looks at the farm scenes and becomes Rebecca, a young girl in trapped a world she feels she doesn’t belong in.

Kelly is flooded with memories of hiding under her bed or disappearing onto the farm when one of her parents called out to her and her siblings to come and help.

Every day, twice a day, came the call to collect the eggs from the chicken run, move the cows to the overnight paddock, feed the pigs: a million chores needing to be done.

Night after night she sat at the dinner table, questioned by her parents about where she’d been all day, ridiculed by her siblings for not wanting to get her hands dirty, did she think she was better than they were?

‘No,’ she screams at the television. ‘I didn’t think I was better than them, I just wanted no part in that life, I couldn’t allow myself to engage with it when I knew I was going to leave as soon as I could. I wanted to find a way to work with people, to make a difference.’

Grabbing the remote she switches the television off and puts herself in the foetal position on the sofa, burying her head under a cushion. Not even chocolates will help tonight.

Back in her own room, her own bed, Amy sleeps fitfully. She misses having a bed on the other side of the room and the company of a friend tossing and turning like her.

Mandy and Dean tiptoe from Sam’s room and slowly open the door into Jesse’s bedroom. They stand for several moments watching their daughter sleeping peacefully.

‘I’d better be off,’ Dean whispers.

Mandy nods yes and doesn’t look back as he leaves. She remains leaning against the door frame. Only when she hears him close the front door does she allow herself to weep silently.