Page 25 of The Wish

W orking in her office, Kelly is disturbed by the department receptionist leaning in the doorway, smiling.

‘What?’ Kelly asks her.

‘Anything you want to tell me?’

Kelly puts her head down pretending to work. ‘About what?’

‘You know what. Last night.’

‘Last night. It was a quick drink, it was nice.’

‘Nice. Just nice. A tuna sandwich is nice.’

‘It’s complicated, OK!’

‘And you don’t want to talk about it.’

‘It’s not office gossip, Rose.’

Rose is distracted by someone walking towards her. ‘I think that’s about to change. Oh, by the way, he’s here.’

Kelly jumps to her feet. ‘What? Why didn’t you say so?’

‘I just did,’ Rose says, walking away from Kelly’s office towards Alex. Kelly frantically pushes wayward hair from her face and smooths her skirt before sitting back down.

Kelly tries to act casual, looking up as Alex appears in her doorway. He stands staring at her, and she stares back.

‘You can come in, take a seat,’ Kelly says.

‘No thanks, good where I am.’

‘What, standing in the doorway as if you’re just passing by?’

‘Well, I am, just passing by.’

‘On your way to where?’

‘To see Jesse.’

‘This is not on your way.’

‘My mistake, I must have got lost. Have a nice day.’

He turns and walks back the way he came, grinning widely at a colleague who returns the smile. Looking ahead she sees Kelly appear in her doorway to watch the retreating Alex.

‘Was there something you wanted?’ Kelly calls out after him.

Without turning around Alex calls out, ‘Nope.’

The colleague stops beside Kelly and together they watch Alex leave the department.

‘Was that who I think it was?’ she asks.

‘I’ve no idea who that was,’ Kelly snaps back, returning to her chair.

Upstairs in ward 6 East, Mandy sits beside Jesse’s bed, gently playing with her daughter’s fingers, trying to mask the agony that tightens her chest every time she looks at Jesse’s pale, tired face.

Today, her hands are colder. Her breathing is more strained.

The decline is undeniable, and Mandy feels the weight of it pressing in.

Across the bed, Sam enthusiastically lays out his latest drawings for Jesse. They spread them out on the bed between them along with two poems Mandy has written.

Jesse reads one slowly, her eyes lingering on each word. She sinks back into her pillow, moved, though she says nothing. Mandy watches, pretending not to notice.

My darling girl, my heart, my soul,

Through every tear, you make me whole.

Your strength, your smile, your gentle face,

You’ve shown me love and light and grace.

Should time be short, and skies grow dim,

You’ll be my life, my constant hymn.

Nothing can change what’s always true –

My love, my heart, will stay with you.

Should you soar beyond this world,

I’ll feel you near, my precious girl.

In every place, however far,

You’ll be with me, bright shining star.

Watching Jesse read her words while Sam rambles on about his art, unaware that Jesse isn’t really listening, fills Mandy with a bittersweet kind of joy. This moment – this exact moment – feels impossibly precious. How can she hold onto it forever?

A soft click breaks her reverie. She turns to see Alex approaching, camera in hand, having just captured the scene she was trying to sear into memory. For a moment, she isn’t sure whether to thank him or be annoyed at the intrusion – but she chooses gratitude and gives him a warm smile.

‘I’m sorry, am I interrupting?’ Alex asks gently. ‘I can come back.’

‘No, I’m glad you’re here,’ Jesse says, her voice softer than yesterday. ‘I want to show you something. Mum and Sam said it was OK.’

As Alex steps closer, he notices the bandage on Jesse’s arm – one that wasn’t there before. It stretches from her upper arm down to her wrist, and something about it instantly worries him.

‘What happened to your arm?’ he asks, his concern sharp as he moves nearer.

‘Oh, nothing. I’m fine,’ Jesse says quickly, but Alex hears the crack in her voice – weakness that wasn’t there the day before.

‘The vein collapsed this morning,’ Mandy explains gently. ‘They were giving her a small dose of chemo. The pressure bandage is just to protect it.’

He hears the weariness in her tone – more than exhaustion, it’s a kind of quiet resolve, like someone bracing for a storm they can’t stop.

Alex glances at Jesse again. The change is obvious. He looks to Mandy, searching for some cue, some direction. Her sad smile is all he needs. She knows. He must say nothing.

Trying to redirect the energy, Jesse lifts the poems and drawings. ‘Look, Alex. These are the poems Mum wrote for me. And Sam’s drawings from last night. I want to include them in my wish.’

‘If it’s OK with you, Alex,’ Mandy adds quickly.

Alex picks up one of the drawings, studying it before glancing at Sam, who’s still hunched over, absorbed. ‘These are great, Sam. Really – these are amazing.’

Jesse hands him the poem she just read. He scans the opening lines, then pauses.

‘Are you sure you want me to read this? It’s . . . it’s personal.’

He hopes she’ll take it back, take away the ache he already feels building in his chest.

‘I know,’ Jesse says simply. ‘That’s why I want it. It’s personal. It’s us.’

Alex turns away from them to read it properly. Mandy watches his shoulders rise and fall, his breath coming quicker.

When he finally turns back, his eyes are damp. ‘It’s beautiful. Truly,’ he says, meeting Mandy’s eyes. ‘Are you a writer?’

Mandy lets out a small laugh. ‘I wish. I did some creative writing after my English Lit degree, but then I got a job as an editor . . . and life got in the way.’

‘You’re a lucky girl, Jesse,’ Alex says, though he’s still looking at Mandy.

‘No, Alex. I’m the lucky one,’ Mandy says firmly.

There’s a pause. Then Mandy asks gently, ‘Jesse told me you didn’t grow up with your parents?’

‘I never knew my father. My mum died when I was seven.’

‘Did anyone in your family take you in?’

‘No,’ Alex says quietly. ‘It was just mum and me. And then . . . just me.’

‘I’m sorry,’ Mandy says, her voice sincere. ‘Everyone deserves a family.’

From the doorway, Kelly steps in, having heard the end of the exchange.

‘Fourteen,’ Alex says, still focused on the poem in his hand. ‘That’s how many homes I was in – until I aged out. Some just for weeks, some longer.’

‘And school?’ Mandy asks softly.

‘Lost count. They tried to keep me in the same district, but it never really stuck.’

Before Mandy can respond, Kelly reveals why she came.

‘Dean’s on his way up.’ She turns to Alex. ‘Let’s get you out of here.’

Sam suddenly leaps onto the bed. ‘No! Don’t send Alex away – we need him!’

Jesse grabs him, giggling. ‘Hey, Sammy – maybe we should hide Alex under the bed!’

Sam bursts into laughter as Kelly pulls Alex gently by the arm.

In the hallway, she steers him towards the exit – too late.

Dean is already inside, talking to another parent. Kelly curses under her breath. ‘Come on. I’ll take you to the playroom. It’s safer.’

The door shuts softly behind them, sealing Alex into a space that feels both safe and suffocating.

The hospital playroom is bathed in the soft colours of forgotten childhoods – dolls, puzzles, finger-painted drawings pinned to the walls.

The air is still. Heavy. Alex stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, surrounded by symbols of a childhood he never got to experience.

Kelly glances through the small window in the door, making sure Dean hasn’t spotted them. ‘No one usually comes in here during visiting time. You’re safe.’

‘I don’t want to be safe,’ Alex murmurs, but before Kelly can respond, the door opens again.

Sandy appears, urgent and matter of fact. ‘Sorry, Kelly. We need you. Christine wants to speak to Mandy and Dean together. Sam needs to be taken out of the room.’

Alex’s expression shifts instantly. ‘What’s happening?’

Kelly’s eyes soften, but there’s no comfort she can offer. ‘The consulting doctors always speak to both parents when it’s serious. Christine wouldn’t ask unless she needed to. I’ll be right back,’ she adds, and follows Sandy out the door.

Alone, Alex wanders further into the room, unsettled by the quiet hum of fluorescent lights. The toys sit as if they, too, are waiting. He walks past a half-finished puzzle, past an easel where a rainbow has been started and abandoned.

Minutes later, the door creaks open again. Kelly enters with Sam in tow.

As soon as they step in, Sam pulls his hand from hers and runs to the far corner, where he sits at a table facing the wall.

Alex looks to Kelly, whose face betrays what he already fears: Jesse is out of time.

Grabbing a piece of paper and a crayon, Sam begins to draw.

Despite all of her training, Kelly’s eyes fill with tears.

Alex sees this and feels himself well up.

He turns to Sam, seeing a mirror image of himself, someone who retreats into his own world instead of interacting with others.

Going over to him, he pulls up a chair. Sam slides a blank piece of paper towards Alex and hands him a crayon.

Alex begins drawing, not the human figures Sam is creating but a dog.

Max. Kelly remains at the far end of the room watching, unsure of her ability to do her job in this instance.

She’s the one who should be looking after Sam.

Alex and Sam finish their drawings and wordlessly push them aside.

Sam gives Alex another piece of paper and again they draw.

Sam draws people, Alex another version of Max.

Alex pushes his piece of paper alongside Sam’s, extending his drawing on to Sam’s, a small dog now appears with what is obviously a drawing of Sam’s family.

Sam attempts to do the same, put people into Alex’s drawing, and their arms tangle as they draw across each other.

Sam begins to giggle and nudges Alex who exaggerates the nudge ruining the drawing with a large line across both pieces of paper.

Kelly takes this as her cue to join them.

They welcome Kelly, who pulls up a chair beside Alex as Sam shows her what they are doing.

In demonstrating, he nudges Alex who leans into Kelly.

Both are shocked as bare arm touches bare arm.

Alex then nudges Kelly who loses balance on the small chair and reaches out and grabs Alex for support.

Sam is laughing loudly at the game he started.

Alex nudges him a little too hard and reaches out to grab him as Sam threatens to fall from the chair.

He holds him in an embrace for a moment longer than he should and Sam relaxes in his arms.

Feeling the need to regain composure, Kelly stands and takes a few steps away. Alex glances at her before putting a blank piece of paper in front of Sam.

‘Why don’t you draw a picture of us for Jesse?’ he suggests.

As Sam begins drawing, Alex joins Kelly.

‘You continue to surprise me,’ Kelly says quietly.

Alex stares at her, not helping her discomfort. ‘Boys I get along with; after all, I was one myself once.’

‘I see. Not so long ago maybe,’ Kelly answers.

‘Yeah, boys I get, girls are a whole other matter.’

Kelly feigns indignance. ‘Girls are easy, we say how we feel, we say whether we’re happy or sad, unlike you guys who have to be forced to talk about anything deeper than cars or sports . . .’

‘Whoa there.’ Alex looks over at Sam. ‘Hey, Sam, come on and help me out here, we’re under attack. What d’you say, Sam, who’s easier to get along with, boys or girls?’

Sam stands up straight and commands: ‘Girls are yuck.’

‘Well, I wouldn’t go that far, but boys are definitely easier to get along with, right, Sam?’

Sam walks over to Alex and leans against him. ‘Boys rule,’ he says, smiling at Alex.

Alex smiles down at Sam and places a comforting arm around him.

‘Well, if you two are going to gang up on me, I’m going to, I’m going to . . .’

‘What are you going to do, Kelly? Cry?’ Sam says, laughing.

‘Yes. No. I don’t know. I’m going to leave,’ Kelly says playfully.

Before he thinks about what he’s saying, the words leave Alex’s mouth. ‘Don’t do that.’

Kelly looks at Alex, searching for the meaning behind the words.

‘We’re sorry, Kelly, aren’t we, Alex? You can stay, you can even draw with us if you like,’ Sam says.

Before Kelly can respond, the moment is broken by Mandy and Dean stepping into the room.

‘What the hell is he doing here? Get away from my son!’ Dean yells at Alex. His grief at what he’s just heard from Christine turns immediately to rage.

Mandy steps in front of Dean, stopping him from advancing on Alex, who lets go of Sam and takes several steps away. Kelly moves towards Mandy and Dean.

‘Dean . . .’ the social worker says.

Turning on Kelly, Dean points his finger at her. ‘I told you to keep him away from my family,’ he says tersely.

‘Stop it, Dean, we need him right now,’ Mandy implores.

‘I told him to stay away . . .’

‘Alex is making Jesse’s wish. I gave him permission and there’s nothing you can do about it. Do you hear me?’

‘But I gave instructions he wasn’t …’

‘And I overruled you.’ Standing in front of Dean, Mandy places a hand on his chest. ‘Please, Dean, please don’t be like this, not now,’ she whispers.

Shocked, Sam watches his parents argue. Slowly he backs away, back to the desk he and Alex were sitting at. Carefully, deliberately, he picks up their drawings, cuddling them in a protective manner.

Alex steps cautiously towards Kelly. ‘I don’t understand, what’s happening here?’ he asks no one in particular.

Mandy walks over to him, speaking quietly. ‘Christine just told us the last round of chemo hasn’t worked.’

‘But what does that mean? Can’t they do it again?’

Mandy begins to tremble, her eyes moisten. ‘It means, it means . . .’ is all she can stammer.

Sandy walks into the room and sizes up the situation. Seeing Sam alone in the corner of the room she goes to him and, taking his hand, leads him out. The others just watch them leave.

‘No, Alex. There is no more treatment we can offer Jesse. She’s had bone marrow transfusions, she’s on the bone marrow register but there are no compatible donors, and she’s had too many rounds of chemotherapy for her young body,’ Kelly tells him.

Kelly’s words wash over Alex like the tide on a beach, their meaning not sinking in.

‘I still don’t understand. What does that mean?’ Alex asks slowly, knowing the answer but not wanting to believe it. He looks from Kelly to Mandy.

‘Bloody know it all doctors, they don’t really know a damn thing,’ Dean says, the venom no longer in his voice. He turns and points to Alex. ‘And you, stay away from my daughter, stay away from my family. You hear me!’

Dean storms out of the room. Alex looks at the others who all stare back at him. Then, he too runs from the room.