Page 16 of The Wish

‘ S o, Jesse,’ Amy says, once Alex has left.

‘I . . . um. I’ve got some, um, news.’ She’s not meeting Jesse’s eye.

Instead, she’s playing with the hospital blanket, weaving it around her fingers.

Jesse has an immediate pang of fear for her friend.

She looks well – she seems to have been responding to treatment, she has more energy than usual, is louder, more active.

With the sun coming in from the window and lighting up her freckles, the only giveaway that she’s ill is her head, covered in downy hair.

But Jesse knows how quickly things can change.

‘What is it, Amy? You’re scaring me.’

Amy shakes her head, presses her lips together.

‘No, it’s nothing to be scared about, it’s not scary, I mean, it’s a bit scary, but .

. .’ She looks up at Jesse. There are tears in her eyes, but she’s not looking sad, not exactly.

If Amy’s expression reveals anything, it’s hope.

She’s hopeful. And in that moment, Jesse knows.

She experiences it as a great lurch in her stomach, almost painful.

A swell of anger, of jealousy, of fear. But also, relief, and happiness. Happiness for her friend.

‘You’re in remission,’ she says softly, not trusting her voice.

Amy nods, and grasps both of Jesse’s hands. ‘My parents . . . they’re telling your mum and dad tonight. But I wanted to be the one to tell you, I wanted to be the one to let you know.’ She gulps and wipes her eyes with the heel of her hand. ‘I’m so sorry, Jesse, I’m so, so sorry . . .’

Jesse feels the tears spring up. ‘Don’t be sorry, I’m happy for you, honestly I am. Come here.’

They hug, Amy sobbing hard, Jesse stroking her friend’s back and telling her not to worry.

It’s all going to work out. It’s all going to be fine.

She’s saying this as much for herself as she is for her friend.

They have been through so much together, they have whispered in the darkness all their hopes, their dreams, their fears.

They have confided in each other, shared secrets, played video games.

They’ve even been snarky at each other, or silent, when the treatment got too hard.

And they’ve never needed to explain, because they know, better than anyone else, what the other is going through.

It’s always been the two of them together.

And they are about to travel on very different paths.

But right now, it’s just Jesse and Amy, Amy and Jesse, BFFs. Best friends forever.

‘You don’t hate me, do you?’ Amy asks, pulling away from Jesse.

‘Course not, you big idiot,’ Jesse says, playfully punching her friend in the shoulder.

‘You know, it’s because your blood is just too posh. Whereas mine . . .’ Amy points her thumbs at herself. ‘Plebian, through and through.’

‘Common as muck,’ Jesse agrees, grinning.

The two laugh for a moment, then fall silent, Amy tracing the pattern on the blanket with her finger.

‘I really am sorry,’ she says, after a while.

‘I know,’ Jesse replies.

‘It still could happen, for you I mean. They still could find someone.’

‘Yeah,’ says Jesse. ‘Yeah, they could . . .’ Jesse settles back into her pillows and looks out of the window.