Page 29 of The Wish

T he last of the breakfast trays are being wheeled from the ward when Alex arrives back the next morning.

He sees Sandy talking to a cluster of nurses, charts being handed between them, and recognises shift change over rituals.

He’s learning the ropes. Sandy sees him and calls out, ‘They’re waiting for you. ’

Alex stops beside her. A flicker of concern dampens his sunny mood. ‘They?’

Sandy only nods, motioning him to go on down to Jesse and Amy’s room.

From the doorway, Alex freezes. Amy’s bed is missing. His heart lurches. He stares at the empty space, dread tightening his chest – until he hears Ryan’s voice: ‘About time!’

Turning, Alex sees Amy’s bed has simply been pushed next to Jesse’s. Jesse and Ryan sit together on her bed. Amy lies in hers, an IV line snaking from her arm, and Luke is cross-legged at her feet.

‘What’s going on here?’ Alex asks, unsure who to look at first.

‘Alex, I want you to sit down and not say anything until we’ve finished telling you what you need to do, OK?’ Jesse says, nodding at a chair positioned on the other side of her bed so that he will be facing all four of them – a teenage interrogation panel.

‘Umm . . . OK.’ Alex follows orders and takes his seat.

‘I said be quiet until we’ve finished!’ Jesse says to the giggles of the others. ‘You remember Sam’s drawings and Mum’s poems? And the photos and videos you’ve taken, right?’

Alex goes to says yes but sees the glare Amy is throwing at him and shuts his mouth.

Waving her hands over the drawings and poems on the two beds, Jesse continues. ‘I want you to take copies of all of these. And I’ve written down the songs of the Spotify playlists that my dad and I like to listen to together.’

Luke pipes up, addressing Alex sternly, ‘You got that?’

Alex once again goes to speak, stops himself and nods.

‘Now I’m going to tell you what I want you to do.’ Jesse pauses, taking several deep breaths. Her breathing’s more laboured than yesterday.

‘Because of my cancer my family’s been torn apart.

My parents split up, but I know they still love each other.

My little brother Sam feels alone because all they do is worry about me and he deserves so much more.

He deserves to have a normal childhood. He deserves to be happy.

He deserves the puppy he wants but is not allowed because of my suppressed immune system. ’

‘That’s where you come in,’ Ryan adds.

‘Thanks, Ryan,’ Jesse deadpans. Then she looks straight at Alex. Her gaze is unwavering.

‘You know I’m going to die. When that happens, things will get a lot worse for my family but hopefully only for a little while. My real wish is for us – together – to create something that helps them through it. Something they can keep. Something that makes it a little easier.’

Alex’s throat tightens. Hearing Jesse speak so plainly about dying wrecks him. ‘Jesse—’

‘No, let me finish,’ she says, softer now.

‘Firstly, I’ve made peace with dying. The doctors and nurses can’t do any more, and I can’t fight it anymore. Believe me, I’ve tried.’ She looks at her friends. ‘We’ve all thought about it, haven’t we?’

Amy, Luke and Ryan nod. They show no fear, no sadness – just quiet understanding.

‘Everyone here on 6 East thinks about dying,’ Jesse continues, ‘or at least not being with their friends and family anymore. But you know what I think? I think death is just another transition to something unknown. My family will have to make a transition of their own that won’t include me, but they will always have the memories we have made, and with your help, Alex, they’ll get through it.

They’ll be happy again, I know they will. ’

Amy picks up the thread as if it’s been rehearsed. ‘So, here’s what we want you to do. Take copies of Sam’s drawings and her mum’s poems.’

Ryan chips in. ‘I know the pin number to the ward photocopier.’

‘Then, we want you to bring these and the videos and photos into the experience you’re filming for Jesse and her family,’ Luke adds. ‘However your company does it, just do it how Jesse wants, OK?’

Alex nods, already forming ideas in his head. ‘The poems – they need to be read aloud. Do you think your mum would read them? Or maybe you, Jesse?’

Jesse’s face lights up. ‘Mum. Definitely Mum. No one else.’ She extends her hand. Alex takes it and they shake. The others nod in approval.

‘You get it,’ Jesse says. ‘You see what we’re trying to do.’

‘I do,’ Alex replies. ‘Ryan, Luke – let’s hit that copier. We’ve got work to do.’

‘I trust you, Alex. But you’ve not done anything like this before, have you?’ Jesse asks.

‘No, not really. Not brought together in the way we’re planning. We’re usually given a script, producers’ notes, camera angles, other kinds of details, and we work with them. This is . . . this is something else. But I know we can do it.’

‘Thank you,’ Jesse says, her voice barely above a whisper.

Amy struggles from her bed onto Jesse’s, hugging her tightly, the IV pole threatening to topple over as the line pulls taut. Alex grabs it, holding it steady. Jesse pulls free from Amy and speaks quietly to her friend.

‘Hey, Amy, can you go get Kelly? I think she might be able to help.’

‘Great idea, let’s get Kelly here,’ Amy says, grinning at Alex and winking at Jesse.

Alex helps Amy untangle the IV line, hands her the pole and watches as she expertly wheels it out of the room. He turns to Jesse. ‘How do you think Kelly can help?’

Jesse leans back into her pillows, exhaustion written all over her face and frail body.

‘I didn’t want the others to hear this, but Alex, I need you to hurry.’

Alex looks around the room. Nothing in his life has prepared him to hear these words under these circumstances. Nothing in his life has prepared him to spend time with teenagers facing life-threatening conditions, facing death. No one has told him the words he should say right now.

He feels Jesse’s small hand take his.

‘It’s OK, Alex. I’ll be OK, you’ll be OK and thanks to you, my family will be OK.’

Amy and Kelly enter the room, breaking the moment.

‘What’s going on here?’ Kelly says, seeing the two of them holding hands.

Jesse, without missing a beat, says, ‘Nothing to worry about, Kelly, Alex is just reading my palm. He says I’m going to have a long and happy life. Aren’t I, Alex?’ The cheeky grin has returned.

A look of panic crosses Kelly’s face as she and Alex stare at each other. He is completely overcome.

‘Joking, I’m joking!’ Jesse says. ‘We were just saying goodbye to this place, weren’t we, Alex? He’s going to come to my home after the weekend when we know Dad is at work and won’t be dropping in. He’s just waiting for Ryan and Luke to bring him back some materials he needs for my experience.’

‘Anything I need to know about?’ Kelly asks, in a lighter voice.

‘Best not,’ Amy says, firmly.

‘Oh, look – they’re back. Did you do it?’

Ryan and Luke reappear at the door laughing and whispering. They spy Kelly and try to hide the large pile of papers behind their backs.

‘Ah yeah, mission accomplished,’ Ryan says. He clears his throat, glancing at Kelly.

‘Alex, Luke’s got something for you. Would you step outside, please?’

‘What is going on here?’ Kelly says in a voice that indicates she’s asking as a formality: she doesn’t really want to know what the friends are up to. Their energy and enthusiasm are infectious and she knows these moments are golden – they’ll give Jesse strength for all that lies ahead.

‘Nothing, nothing, just saying goodbye,’ Alex tells her, managing to recover, and moving towards the boys, both of whom exaggeratedly walk outside the room.

As Alex walks past Kelly, he bends down and whispers in her ear.

‘I’ll see you next week, have a great weekend.’

Kelly feels herself blushing. ‘Dammit,’ she mutters.

Jesse looks at her and smiles broadly.

Walking from the hospital, Alex rings Mandy, wanting to talk to her about reading her poems for Jesse’s wish. She invites him to pop over.

When he arrives, she takes him through the house to a large kitchen that opens onto the backyard. Alex hears the shouts and laughter of young boys playing.

‘Alex, what are you doing here?’ Sam runs up to hug him.

‘Hi, Sam, I’ve come to talk to your mum. What are you lot playing?’

‘Football! Mum’s taking us to the beach soon.’

‘Honey, do you mind if Alex and I have a chat?’ Mandy says, ruffling her son’s hair. ‘As soon as we’re finished, I’ll take you to the beach.’

‘OK, Mum, see you, Alex.’

As Sam goes back to his friends Mandy pours Alex a glass of water from a beautiful jug. He takes in the lemon and orange slices flavouring the water, the clinking ice.

Sitting opposite Alex, Mandy sips her own drink, watching the boys play. ‘Thank you for coming. I wanted a chance to speak to you and when I got your call, it was like a sign.’

‘Thanks, I want to tell you about—’

‘Let me say something first: thank you. For what you’re doing for Jesse.’

Mandy pauses, looking out at the boys in a tangled heap in the garden.

‘What you have given her already is incredible. The balloon ride, for one. Her face lights up when she talks about you, and we haven’t seen much of that from her recently.’

‘She’s remarkable. You and your husband must be so proud, you have clearly done a wonderful job as parents.’

‘Yeah, well, Dean would say we failed. We can’t fix her. And Sam’s losing his sister, the person he loves most in the world.’

‘That’s being very tough on yourselves.’

‘Alex, I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I do want to tell you a little about Jesse’s dad, Dean.’

‘You don’t have to tell me anything.’