Page 19 of The Wish

‘Have you spoken to Kelly today?’

‘No, should I have?’

Sandy gives him a warm smile. ‘She’s asked to see you before you see Jesse.’

‘Why?’

Her smile is comforting, but Sandy doesn’t give anything away. ‘She’s in her office. Ground floor. I think you know the way?’

Alex catches the lift down to the ground floor and follows the signs to the social work department.

Greeted by the receptionist, he is immediately shown into Kelly’s office.

He is feeling uneasy about all this. Has Kelly brought him down here to tell him his services are no longer needed?

He pales, thinking of what that might mean.

A late night shows on Kelly, her eyes tired, her hair a little messier than usual as she comes around from her desk and, thanking the receptionist for bringing Alex to her, closes the door. Alex stays standing as she sits back behind her desk.

‘Is Jesse OK?’ Alex asks.

‘Oh,’ Kelly says, ‘I’m so sorry if you were worried. Yes, she’s OK. Well, much the same. I’ve been talking to Mandy, and we think the time is right to give you some context and background.’

Alex sighs in relief and sits down in one of the chairs opposite Kelly.

He slept very little last night, and he feels he can finally see a way to create what Jesse wants.

Now he is frustrated by the sudden formality.

He just wants to see Jesse and show her the work he did last night, all there on the laptop tucked away in his bag.

‘How long have you known her?’ he asks.

‘About two years, since she was first diagnosed.’

‘What’s actually wrong with her?’

Kelly sighs softly. ‘I’m sorry we’ve not told you anything before, but Mandy thought now was the right time for you to know about Jesse’s diagnosis and prognosis, and she’s asked me to tell you. It’s quite hard for the family to explain over and over again what’s happening to their child.’

Alex nods, dread pooling in his stomach.

It looks like Kelly also finds this news difficult to impart. She laces her fingers together, her gaze on the table, as if she’s reading from an invisible script. ‘Jesse has ALL, which stands for acute lymphocytic leukaemia.’

‘Sounds bad.’

‘It can be. In Jesse’s case, it is. In children and young adults, it has a high success rate of remission and cure but unfortunately for Jesse she has not responded to the many rounds of treatment.

A little over a year ago she had a bone marrow transplant from Sam.

He was the closest match in the family but sadly it failed.

She has a rare blood combination of both her parents, making neither one of them a match.

She’s never stayed in remission for very long and her only chance is another bone marrow transplant but that doesn’t seem to be available. ’

‘What’s so difficult about it?’

‘It’s not like a blood transfusion if that’s what you’re thinking.

It involves taking bone marrow from a donor and transferring it into the patient.

But here’s the thing: there are a lot of markers that need to be met before it can be attempted.

The compatibility indicators between the donor and patient must be high. ’

‘And Sam’s wasn’t high enough?’

‘It was as high as we could get from any of Jesse’s family. Just about every adult member of her extended family all over the country was tested and only Sam was close enough to try.’

‘So, you need to be a family member then?’

‘Mostly, though occasionally a stranger with the right markers can work. It’s so hard to find suitable donors that register for bone marrow. We are constantly searching the database for new donors registered.’

‘What about Amy and those two boys I’ve seen with the girls?’

‘Ryan has ALL, and he is responding to treatment, Amy and Luke have CLL which has a better success rate of cure, and . . .’ Kelly takes a deep breath.

She looks as serious as Alex has ever seen her.

‘There’s something else you should know, something that Mandy wanted me to tell you before you next saw Jesse.

Amy has officially gone into remission; she will be discharged shortly. ’

‘Oh,’ Alex says, leaning back in his chair. ‘Oh no, poor Jesse.’

‘We are pleased for Amy, of course we are. And Jesse is taking the news well – you’ve seen how mature she is. But still, it’s a difficult time as you can imagine.’

Alex is not sure he can. He likes Amy, likes her buzzy energy, but he’s here for Jesse, and can’t quite comprehend how difficult this news must be for her. Poor kid. He wants to get back to Jesse and get on with the work.

‘Is this why you wanted to see me?’

Kelly sits back in her chair. ‘I’m afraid we have a problem.’

Alex looks directly at her. The ball is in her court.

‘Dean has left instructions with the staff that you are not allowed near Jesse,’ she blurts out.

‘How is that my problem?’

Kelly stares back at him, clearly at a loss. ‘Well, how can you make Jesse’s wish if—’

‘Look. This is how I see it. I was asked to do a job, I’m here to do it and if you have a problem getting me access to Jesse, then that’s your problem, not mine.’

‘You’re being unreasonable, don’t you understand . . .’

‘Oh, I understand. Either you make it possible for me to see Jesse or there is no wish. You have to deal with the father, not me.’

Kelly stands, clearly outraged. ‘You’re refusing to help here, is that what you’re saying?’

Alex also stands, placing both his hands on the desk, leaning towards Kelly, who doesn’t budge.

‘I’m going back to my office now to tell my boss I was here twice yesterday, when I was verbally attacked by Jesse’s father, and again today but unfortunately the social worker has been unable to get me access to the patient, to Jesse.

’ His voice changes to sorry and pathetic.

‘I tried my best, boss, I truly did but her father won’t let me see her, according to the social worker, that is. ’

‘What if Dean doesn’t find out? What if you work with Jesse and Dean needn’t know?’

‘Sneak around behind his back, looking over my shoulder in case he sees me and comes after me, is that what you’re asking me to do?’

‘No. Yes, kind of, just be careful but do what you can for Jesse.’

Alex shakes his head in frustration. He turns and leaves.

As Alex leaves the office Kelly comes around from her desk and calls out to his retreating back, walking down the department corridor, ‘I was right all along, you are an arrogant—’

‘Arrogant what?’ Alex says, turning back to look at her.

‘Person, male, thing, whatever.’

Kelly slumps into the chair Alex has just vacated and her colleague George from the office across the corridor comes in, sitting in the second chair.

‘Well, that didn’t go well then,’ he says, ‘anything I can do to help?’

‘Why are men such jerks?’ she asks.

When he doesn’t answer Kelly looks at him apologetically. ‘I’m sorry, George, not all men, just some.’

‘That one, huh?’

‘Yeah.’

‘What are you going to do?’

‘I have to talk to Jesse; I’ve got to tell her about her father refusing Alex access to her and see if there is something else we can offer her for her wish.’

‘What’s the issue?’

‘I’m just . . .’ Kelly looks down at her lap, sighs. ‘I can’t seem to do the right thing. Dean wants to refuse Alex access to Jesse. Although everyone else wants Jesse to have her wish, he’s just putting up too many roadblocks.’

‘I’ve got to say, I wouldn’t want to be in your position. That’s tough. Has Mandy tried talking to him?’

Kelly sighs. ‘I think everyone has tried talking to him. He’s just not budging.’ She pulls the sleeves of her cardigan over her hands, a habit that she’s had since she was a child. ‘Last night, they almost came to blows. And that’s why Dean has told the staff not to give Alex access.’

George’s expression is serious. ‘You all want to help Jesse, but you’re coming at it from different directions.’

‘It should be what Jesse wants, right? She should have the final say.’ Kelly puts her head in her hands. ‘I just don’t know how I feel about going against her father’s wishes, however much I disagree with him.’

George nods. ‘What are you going to do?’

Kelly sits up, takes a long deep breath. ‘I have to talk to Jesse; I’ve got to tell her about her father refusing Alex access to her and see if there is something else, anything else, we can offer her.’

George reaches over and pats Kelly’s arm. ‘You’ve got this. And if you need some support, you know where I am.’

Kelly smiles wanly and stands up to do what she has to do.

In the hospital parking garage, Alex sits on his bike, helmet in hand, not knowing what to do, where to go. He’s been drawn into the world of Jesse, her family and friends, and then there’s Kelly. Why does she mess with his head?

‘You all right, mate?’ a passing stranger asks. In this location this is a perfectly understandable question to ask. Everyone coming and going from this car park is a patient, friend or family member of a patient. Compassion and empathy come with admission.

‘Yeah, fine, thanks,’ Alex responds, putting his helmet on and pulling the visor down, covering the eyes that threaten to make a liar out of him.

Exiting the hospital grounds, Alex turns away from the direction of his office and heads to the beach.

Kelly pauses in the entrance to Jesse’s room, unobserved.

Jesse is sitting on Amy’s bed, showing her Sam’s latest pictures. A piece of paper with neat feminine writing falls from the pile she is holding.

Amy picks it up and begins reading. ‘What’s this? Did Sam do this?’

Jesse looks up. ‘No, that’s from Mum, another poem.’

‘They’re so personal.’

‘Yeah, they are.’

‘Then why do you have them on your board where anyone can see?’

‘Dunno. I guess I can lie here, look over there and see them and in my head read them. I know them all off by heart.’

‘Oh, Jesse, that’s so beautiful.’

‘I’ve seen Dad look at them, but I don’t think he’s ever read them. I showed one to Alex and he seemed to get upset.’