Page 31 of The Scrum-Half (Lincoln Knights #3)

Harper

I was stood in the kitchen leaning on the island, toying with a partially eaten Snickers, half wondering what to make for lunch and half staring out of the window watching rain trickle slowly down the glass.

It had been drizzling on and off all morning, ever since I’d dropped Jack off at nursery, as the weather did its best to match my mood.

Was this what they called pathetic fallacy? I couldn’t remember. It had been a long time since I’d done any kind of English literature.

All I knew was the weather was miserable and so was I.

I couldn’t believe I’d messed things up so badly, but I had nobody to blame but myself.

I’d told myself breaking my rules and getting involved with Matty was only going to lead to heartbreak but I hadn’t listened.

It was like I’d believed this time would be the exception to all the stories and I’d get a fairy-tale ending.

But the world didn’t work like that, and now I was stuck in limbo in a job and place I loved but couldn’t stay, with a man who I needed more than anything but couldn’t have.

The front door slammed and I vaguely registered it in the back of my mind.

It was a bit early for Matty to be home, but I didn’t have the energy to question it.

I was too busy staring at the rain on the window and debating whether it would be better to hand my notice in now to cut the pain short or stay for another month or two and drag it out in the vague hope something would change.

I might as well just try cutting my heart out with a spork. It would hurt less.

“Harper.” Matty’s voice drew my attention and I frowned slightly as I turned my head to look at him.

He was stood in the kitchen door, slightly damp from the drizzle and still dressed in his kit, his dark blue shirt with red sleeves clinging to his torso and his shorts wrapped around his thighs.

I’d never seen his kit so up close and all I could think was how fucking good it looked on him.

He wore it easily, like a second skin, and that confidence was almost as sexy as the kit.

“Hey,” I said, standing up straight and brushing a strand of hair out of my face. “You’re back early. I thought you didn’t finish until five.”

He shrugged, brushing my words away as he walked across the kitchen to stand in front of me, taking my hands in his.

“I don’t, and I’ll have to go back in a bit.

But I… I needed to see you. To tell you what a fucking twat I’ve been about this whole thing and tell you I’m sorry for not understanding why you were so worried.

I get it now, and I’m really fucking sorry for being so dismissive. ”

I raised an eyebrow, because this was… new. Something had clearly happened at training to make him suddenly so self-aware.

Not that it was a bad thing—it was just surprising.

“Do I want to know how you came to this realisation?” I asked, my heart racing at the feel of his hands around mine.

“Let’s just say it was a group effort and leave it at that,” he said with a tiny smile, which didn’t quite dislodge the worry lingering in his eyes.

“I know we’ve done this all arse backwards, that we should have talked about things before we started messing around, and I’m sorry for letting things get out of hand. ”

“You can’t take all the blame. I was just as involved as you, and I also could’ve initiated that conversation at any time.”

“I’m taking at least seventy percent,” he said.

“I don’t want to pull the boss card, but since I’m the one with the power here—fuck, that sounds so shit to say—but anyway, I get why you wouldn’t want to talk to me.

Especially if you were worried about your job or what might happen if you brought it up. ”

“We can argue about it later.” Now wasn’t the time to get sidetracked. I wanted to hear what else he had to say. “I want to know what this means.”

“It means, I want you to stay. You’re my sunshine, Harper, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like without you.

I know we have a lot of things to talk about, and I know you’re worried about how being with me will affect your career, but I promise to listen to you and figure out the best solution.

Whether that’s you finding another job and me finding another nanny, whether that’s me putting money into your account every month, whether that’s you going back to do your master’s, because I really think you should do that at some point.

” He squeezed my hands tighter, lowering his voice as he stepped closer to me.

“Whatever it is, we can work it out, together. Because I don’t want you to leave.

I want you to be here with me, and Jack, for as long as you’ll have us.

And I’m willing to do whatever it takes to show you that I mean it.

This isn’t a joke to me. I think what we have is special, and I want to see where it goes. ”

This couldn’t be real… but it was. Matty was here and he wanted this, wanted me . And he was willing to fight for us.

If he could, then I could too. Because how often was the man I was falling in love with going to burst into the kitchen during the middle of the day to tell me how he felt?

“I want that too,” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m sorry for freaking out about it. I was so sure I was going to lose everything.”

“You don’t need to apologise. I promise.” He lifted my hands and kissed my knuckles, my stomach bubbling as heat rippled across my skin. “This career is your dream and you’ve worked so hard for it. And I’m never going to ask you to give it up. Especially not for me.”

“But—”

“No ‘buts.’ We’re going to make your dreams a reality and we’re going to do it together. Because I’m not giving you up. You’re everything to me, sunshine.”

“You’re everything to me too,” I said, exhaling a shuddering breath of relief.

We couldn’t work out all the details now—there were too many variables and my brain was too busy focusing on the fact I got to have the man I wanted.

“You… Jack… this family. That’s what I want.

It feels selfish to want everything but I can’t help it. ”

“Then be selfish. Be really fucking selfish. You deserve it.”

The last fraying threads of restraint that had been holding me back snapped.

I threw myself into his arms, kissing him hard.

Matty let out a surprised “oof” but he didn’t move.

He just wrapped his arms around me, holding me close as we kissed like our lives depended on it, as if we needed physical proof that this wasn’t a dream.

My tongue pressed into his mouth, the taste of him making my cock throb in my jeans. In reality, it hadn’t been that long since we’d last hooked up, but to me it felt like forever.

The last few days had dragged out for months in my mind, and I was desperate to reset things and draw a distinctive line between then and now before Matty had to go back to training.

If only so I didn’t spend the rest of the afternoon moping around the kitchen and doing nothing except watching the rain on the window.

“How long do you have?” I asked, breaking the kiss for a second. My chest heaved as my mind raced, dreaming up and dismissing fantasies as fast as they appeared. The extravagant, mind-numbing, leg-shaking sex would probably have to wait until later. But we had time for something quick.

“Not long,” Matty said as he glanced up at the clock on the kitchen wall, which we had to help explain the very basic concept of time to Jack. “Maybe fifteen minutes before I need to leave again? If I’m too late for training, Tommy’ll have my head. I’ll be running laps for weeks.”

I smirked. “I can work with that. If you’ll let me.”

Matty spluttered and I loved the fact he was suddenly lost for words. “You don’t have to. I mean, we can but—”

“If you don’t want to do anything, we don’t have to,” I said, stepping back slightly. “But if you want, I will happily suck your dick before you have to leave.”

“I… fuck, I won’t be able to focus all afternoon.”

“I’m sure you will, especially if you know you get to come home to me.”

“That is a pretty good incentive.”

“I can make it sweeter.” I put my hands on his hips, hooking my thumbs over the waistband of his shorts. “Tonight I want you to put me on my knees and blow my fucking back out.”

“Yeah, sweetheart,” he said in a voice like liquid silk. “I can do that.”

I groaned as I leant in to steal another kiss, but as I went to drop to my knees, Matty stopped me. “Wait, remember the shower? I don’t want you to hurt yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” I said. “I don’t intend to be kneeling for long. And it doesn’t happen every time.”

“At least let me get you a cushion or something.”

He wasn’t going to relent and I didn’t want him to worry about me, so I nodded. Matty smiled and kissed me quickly, saying, “Thank you,” before striding out of the room and returning a few seconds later with one of the cushions from the sofa.

He put it on the floor in front of me and I felt myself getting hard as I watched him. I’d never imagined being cared for like this would turn me on so much, but it was nice to be with a man who thought of these things. Who remembered and made the effort.

It was sexy as fuck.

Carefully, I dropped to my knees in front of him, dragging his shorts down with me. The cushion shifted slightly under me, and while it wasn’t perfect, it was a hell of a lot better than the floor. And the sight in front of me was doing an excellent job of drawing my focus.

Matty was wearing a jockstrap under his shorts, the front straining as it tried to contain his cock. The scent of his musk and his sweat filled my senses, making my dick jump as I clenched, precum dripping into my underwear. I couldn’t help but lean closer and take a deep breath.

“You smell so good,” I said, quickly reaching behind my head to scrape my hair into a ponytail to keep it out of my face. The last thing I wanted was a mouthful of hair while I was sucking him.

“Yeah, you like that?”

“Yeah.” I looked up at him with hungry eyes. “You should come home without showering sometimes.”

“Fuck yeah, sunshine. I can do that.” Matty nodded and groaned, one hand tugging his shirt up so he could tease one of his nipples as his other hand pulled his hard cock out of the side of his jock, holding it out for me, precum glistening on the silken head.

I opened my mouth and stuck out my tongue, moaning as he slapped his thick cock on it. The filthy, wet sound filled the kitchen and my hips jerked slightly as I tried to find something to grind against. My jeans bulged as my erection strained against the fabric, my fingers digging into my thigh.

Matty moaned as I closed my lips around him, my tongue licking down his shaft and tasting his sweat.

I loved the way he filled my mouth and stretched my lips, the way his scent set my body on fire and made me want to bend over the counter and beg him to fuck me or let him use me as a fucking toy.

Either way, I wasn’t picky. I just wanted to make him come.

I sucked him deeper, bobbing my head and putting my hand on the back of his thigh to encourage him to fuck my face. As much as I wanted to take my time and savour every second, we didn’t have time. And I desperately wanted to taste Matty’s release on my tongue.

“Fuck, darling,” Matty said as he thrust into my mouth, his hand resting on my head to steady himself.

“Got such a perfect mouth. Could fuck it for hours, use it to edge myself. Mmm, would you like that?” I moaned and tried to nod.

“Thought you would. Such a dirty boy, just want to be mine to use, yeah? Let me play with you until you’re desperate and moaning, begging to come.

Mmm, fuck, I need your cock again soon, sunshine.

Loved the way it filled me up. Gonna fill you up too…

let my cum drip down those perfect thighs of yours. ”

I groaned, tightening my lips around his shaft and caressing him with my tongue as I took him as deep as I could.

“Fuuuck, such a perfect fucking mouth. Gonna come soon… Think you can swallow it all for me?”

I could only answer with a muffled moan as he thrust into my mouth, fucking me faster. Saliva dripped down my chin as his cock stretched my lips wide. If this was how he fucked my mouth, I couldn’t wait to get him inside my arse because I knew it was going to leave me breathless and shaking.

And as much as I wanted to jerk myself off now, I wasn’t going to.

Because then I might be pent up enough to come untouched on his cock, and after what we’d been through in the last few days, I needed that more than anything.

There was just something about getting off on a good dick that always made my head spin. It was one of my favourite things.

“So fucking good for me, sunshine,” Matty said, a desperate rumbling growl echoing through his chest. “Gonna… fuck… gonna come!”

He grunted as his cock pulsed on my tongue, filling my mouth with his cum. It ran down my throat and I swallowed around him, drawing more moans from his chest. His release was hot and salty, and I knew the taste would linger for hours if I let it.

Matty’s hand stroked across my head as he slowly pulled back, his cock slipping from my lips.

I looked up at him, knowing how beautifully wrecked I looked with puffy, wet lips and glistening eyes, my jeans still bulging.

“Look at you,” he said softly, adoration and awe filling his voice.

“I’ve never seen anything more beautiful. ”

I smiled as he held out a hand and carefully pulled me to my feet. My knees ached from the floor, but it was bearable.

“Thank you,” he added as he drew me in for a kiss.

“You’re welcome.”

“Not just for the blow job,” he said, smiling against my lips. “For wanting to stay.”

It was my turn to smile then. “I don’t want to be anywhere else.”