Page 20 of The Scrum-Half (Lincoln Knights #3)

Harper

“Okay, what do we need to organise for Jack’s birthday?

” I asked as I sat down on the sofa next to Matty at Monday lunchtime, armed with my favourite notebook and my laptop.

I’d always preferred making notes on paper over my phone.

It helped me get my thoughts in order, meant I could add scrawled additions when I inevitably thought of more details, and it gave me the perfect excuse to keep buying notebooks.

Matty paused the rugby match he’d been watching and frowned.

“Everything, I think. I mean, Hannah and I have talked about presents, and we floated the idea of having a party, but that’s about it.

The last couple of years we’ve only done small things because it didn’t make sense to throw a big party for someone who had no idea what was going on.

But Jack’s been to a few parties for kids in his nursery class now, so we thought we should probably do something since he definitely gets the idea of what a birthday is.

I don’t think it needs to be massive, though, or cost a fortune.

I’m not spending five grand on a party for a three-year-old, no matter how much I love him. Is that bad?”

“No, I think that’s sensible,” I said. I’d never understood the need for parents to spend silly money on parties for babies, but in certain circles it seemed to be the done thing.

I tried not to judge, even if I winced at the idea of spending the equivalent of six months of my wages on a party for a one-year-old.

It was more for families to show off to their social circle.

At least that was what it seemed like to me.

“You have opinions on this,” Matty said with a chuckle.

“No, I am not saying anything.”

“You can tell me.”

“Nope, it’s not professional of me.”

“Fuck professional, I think we crossed that boundary two days ago.” He said it casually with a wry smile, but the two of us froze the second the words came out of his mouth.

Awkwardness crackled in the air between us as we stared at each other. Both of us knew he was right, but hearing it out loud made all the difference. It forced us to truly admit we’d trampled our professional boundaries into the ground.

And while we’d gone into this willingly, with our eyes wide open, making jokes felt different.

“Sorry,” he said quietly. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

“No, you’re right. I don’t think what we did last night was exactly professional.

” I tried to smile but it felt hollow. Matty had assured me that my employment wasn’t at risk, but our boundary stomping meant so many things would need to be reevaluated.

We’d obviously have to remain neutral around Jack, Hannah, and, well, anyone else outside of the two of us.

But how did it work when it was just the two of us?

And how would it work when Matty wanted or needed me to do something as Jack’s nanny?

I hoped he’d just ask, but hope didn’t mean anything.

And how would I feel about Matty being an arse?

Would I feel like I couldn’t say anything in case he held my transgressions over my head?

He didn’t seem like the sort of person to do that, but very few people did until they decided they’d gotten you in close enough.

We weren’t dating. He wasn’t my boyfriend—he was my boss. And that still meant there was a certain dynamic between us, whether we liked it or not.

It all felt so complicated, but I didn’t know if that was simply me overthinking or if both of us were struggling.

“It was fun, though,” Matty said, putting his hand on my thigh and squeezing gently.

It sent a wave of warmth running through me, need kindling in my belly and making it very hard to focus on what we were supposed to be talking about.

For all my worries, I still wanted this with him.

My reaction to even the lightest touch made that clear.

“It was… and we have two hours before one of us has to pick Jack up from nursery, so if we plan very quickly, we’ll have time to do it again before we need to freshen up and leave.”

“Keen, aren’t you?”

“Aren’t you?” I asked, silently wondering if I’d said too much.

No, I wasn’t going to think that. I was allowed to have needs and wants and desires.

And I wasn’t ever going to be ashamed of them.

I liked Matty and I liked hooking up with him, and I wasn’t going to stop myself from asking for what I wanted.

“Yeah, I am.” His gaze was heated as it raked over me. “Only thing keeping me from kissing you right now is the fact that if we don’t plan this bloody party now, it won’t get done.”

“It will, because I’m really fucking good at my job,” I said with a teasing grin.

“You really are.”

I sighed and gently pushed his hand off my thigh. “You’re making it very hard for me to concentrate.”

“Do you want me to apologise?” he asked, shifting slightly closer so he could brush my hair over my shoulder. His fingers grazed the sensitive skin of my neck and I wished it was his mouth.

“N-No… but I do want you to stop distracting me. Or we won’t get the party planned, and you’ll get grumpy.”

“I don’t get grumpy!” I raised my eyebrows and tilted my head. He rolled his eyes and sat back, smiling as he did. “Fine. Party. Where do we start?”

“Date, time, guest list, budget, location, theme. Then we go from there: cake, activities, games, gifts—for Jack and guests—food, drink, and anything else we can think of.” The list rolled off my tongue with ease and Matty shot me an impressed look.

“I’ve planned a lot of kids’ parties,” I continued with a shrug. “It wasn’t always my job, but sometimes it happens. And I’ve also worked with a ton of party planners, so I borrowed lists from them.”

“People get party planners for kids’ birthdays?” He looked so stunned, a burst of laughter slipped out of me before I could stop it.

“Yeah, most people with money do. It’s pretty common. But, if you don’t want to hire someone, we can easily do it ourselves.”

Matty shifted in his seat, his expression uncomfortable. “Now I feel like a bad dad for not knowing that.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Like I’m going to deprive my son of good birthday parties if I don’t use a planner?

I know it’s ridiculous, but that’s always my first worry—are my actions harming or depriving Jack?

Hannah and I have been talking about sending him to private school, and I’m pretty sure there will be children there who have those kinds of birthdays.

So will Jack be missing out if he doesn’t? ”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

“To me, a good birthday was just having some friends around, maybe playing video games and getting pizza. Maybe going to McDonald’s.

The coolest birthday I ever went to was when my best mate was nine and had a party at laser tag—like that was top fucking tier—or when I got to go bowling for my thirteenth. But now… that shit won’t cut it.”

“It’s okay,” I said, putting my hand on his arm.

“You don’t need to stress about any of that now, I promise.

Yes, if he goes to private school, there probably will be children there who have extravagant parties.

But that’s not something we’re dealing with right now.

Jack is turning three. You don’t need to do anything over the top.

Just something fun that he’ll enjoy. And I promise, doing something low-key doesn’t make you a bad parent. ”

“Thanks. I’m glad you’re here to remind me of that.”

“No problem.” I opened my notebook. “Right, date. Jack’s birthday is the twenty-third, which is a Wednesday, so we can easily do the Saturday afterwards.

Hannah is free. Do you have a match?” I grabbed up my phone to double-check my calendar because I’d added the Knights schedule a couple of weeks ago when I’d finally gotten it from Matty.

“Oh, don’t forget you have the team day out this week. ”

Matty groaned. “It’s the start of April. Who the fuck wants to go to the beach?”

“Did you get any say?”

“Not really. I think it’s so we can do some team building and training somewhere else. But I know at least half of them will go into the sea, even if it’s fucking freezing.”

“At least you can get a hot chocolate afterwards,” I said with a little smile. “That’s what my sisters and I used to get.”

“Yeah? Did you used to do a lot of beach trips?”

I nodded. “My grandparents lived in Norfolk, in Wells-next-the-Sea, so it was easy for them to turn us loose there for a few hours to run around. Didn’t matter the weather—if we were at their house, we were sent to the beach.

Unless it was stormy or unsafe, then we were out in the garden.

But then they’d always make us hot chocolate with marshmallows to warm up.

Sometimes whipped cream if we were lucky, and maybe a Flake if Grandad had snuck a box of them into the house. ”

“That sounds fun,” Matty said, a wistful look on his face. We hadn’t talked about his relationship with his family, but he never brought them up and I had to assume they weren’t close. It wasn’t my place to ask, so I wasn’t going to.

“It was, mostly. Don’t think I’ll ever quite forgive Marissa for pushing me into the sea in the middle of December when I was eleven.” I shivered at the memory. “At least if anyone pushes you in, you’re strong enough to take them in with you.”

He laughed. “Not if it’s a member of the front row. They’re all about twice my size. Jaden’s probably too sweet to try but Mason… yeah, he’d do it.”

“You’ll have to make sure you pack a towel then.”

“I’m taking two. I don’t trust any of them. I mean, I do on the pitch, but I can guarantee someone will try something because I’m the captain and it’s tradition to give me shit.”

“Hopefully, you can run fast then,” I said with a grin.

“Fingers crossed.” His smile made my stomach flip and I exhaled deeply, trying to keep my raging libido in check.

Birthday party first, sex second. “Okay, you’re not playing on the twenty-sixth because the game that week is Friday night.

So, would the Saturday afternoon work? It would only be for a few hours. ”

“Yeah, that’ll work if you’re happy to stay home with Jack on Friday night? Or he can go to Hannah’s if she’s around. I don’t usually take him to evening games because he’ll be up too late, and if he’s having a big day on Saturday, he’ll need a proper bedtime the night before.”

“That’s fine. And I can do some party prep while he’s sleeping.” I made a note. “Timing… I’d say maybe three until five. It doesn’t need to be long, and then if he needs a nap beforehand, he can have one.”

“Works for me.”

“Where do you want to have it?”

“Here is fine,” Matty said. “Hopefully it’ll be nice so we can have it in the back garden, and if not, we can move some of the furniture around.”

“Perfect.” Another note to myself. This was proving to be much easier than I’d thought.

Probably because both of us wanted to get it sorted so we could do other things.

“Do you have a budget?”

Matty shrugged. “I don’t know. Should I?”

“It would be helpful, just so I don’t go overboard with decorations or anything.”

“I want to ask how you’d manage to spend that much on some balloons, but now I’m envisioning some monstrous balloon arch.” He pulled a face and I snorted.

“Not a fan of balloons?”

“I don’t mind them, but a whole arch feels like a bit much. God, I sound like such a miserable old man. Worse, I sound like my dad.” A flash of sadness crossed his face and he rubbed his eyes, like he was trying to erase the expression.

“You’re fine, I promise,” I said, putting my hand out and gently resting it on his arm, hoping I could ground him.

“Thanks.” He still looked upset but I didn’t think it was to do with the balloons.

This whole situation was designed to needle his fears and anxieties as a parent, and there wasn’t much I could do except support him.

If he wanted Jack to have a birthday party, he was going to have to work through, or at least come to terms with, his issues, even if it was painful.

But I’d do everything I could to help him.

Fuck professional boundaries. Matty needed me. And I wasn’t going to turn him down.

I couldn’t.