Page 17 of The Scrum-Half (Lincoln Knights #3)

“Yes he is. I always win,” Jack said as he picked up another bit of his sandwich. I was surprised he hadn’t gotten fidgety and run off to play with some of the other kids since there were several his age, but his entire focus was devoted to sausages.

“You’ll have to race me this week, see if I’m any faster,” I said, trying to watch the game over his shoulder.

I didn’t have any idea what was going on, but there seemed to be something happening since play had paused and there were two lines forming near the sideline as one of the Knights players, a giant of a man, prepared to throw the ball.

They were close to one end, so hopefully the Knights were close to scoring.

Jack looked at me and scoffed. “No Harper, you’re old like Daddy.”

“Old? I’m not old!”

“Is okay. Is not bad to be old,” Jack said, reaching over to pat my hand with his own, which was slightly sticky and also covered in ketchup.

“Thank you, that’s very sweet of you,” I said. Outside the window, the Knights seemed to be pushing forward but there was a lot of resistance from their opposition. Nobody had scored yet, but it didn’t look like it would be long.

“Mummy I’m done. Can I go, peas?” Jack asked. He’d devoured the entire sandwich in less than five minutes and looked very satisfied.

Hannah grabbed a napkin to wipe his hands and his face, removing most of the ketchup. “Yes, but stay in this room, please, where I can see you, and don’t go near the food.”

“’Kay.”

Jack wiggled out of his seat and ran straight towards a small group of children he clearly knew, which seemed led by a set of twin boys in matching Knights shirts.

They all hugged Jack before taking him over to a corner where there were some beanbags and toys.

I watched them for a moment before I turned back to Hannah. “It’s good they all get on well.”

“Yeah, they’ve all grown up together,” Hannah said. “And everyone here is very supportive. I should introduce you to some people so you’re not on your own next time.”

“That’s nice you all have that support too, especially as a new parent. Plenty of people to ask for advice if you need it.”

“You have no idea.” Hannah nodded to herself as she prodded her fruit salad with a spoon, smiling softly.

“I don’t know what Matty’s told you, but I’ll be brutally honest. I have no clue what I’m doing.

I’m trying my best but I wasn’t designed for motherhood.

God, that makes me sound like a terrible person—we’ve met twice and here I am dumping this shit on you.

But if you’re going to be here a while, you should know.

I love Jack with my heart and soul, but I wasn’t meant to be a parent.

I’ll admit that openly. And I don’t mind if you judge me for it.

I’m sure everyone else does when they discover Matty has custody because seeing my son once or twice a month is as much as I can manage. ”

“I’m not going to judge you,” I said. “I promise, that’s the last thing on my mind. Every family is different and so is every parent, and I’m not the authority on what’s best. Besides, you and Matty seem to have everything figured out.”

I meant it too. I wasn’t here to stir up the past or pass judgement on what had happened between her and Matty.

They loved Jack and wanted the best for him, and that was all that mattered to me.

And I wasn’t going to condemn her for her feelings either, because the fact she was able to admit them and had clearly developed a routine that worked for everyone involved said a lot about her character.

Society always expected women to want nothing but motherhood, and even if they didn’t, they were supposed to fall in love with their children and change their minds as soon as the child was born.

But it didn’t work like that. And I refused to think less of Hannah because she didn’t want to be a parent.

“Thank you. You’re very kind. And yeah, I think we have. For now, at least. Maybe it will change if one of us ever gets a partner.” She waved her hand. “Ignore me. I’m making the worst impression. Can you tell I’m sleep deprived?”

“You’re absolutely fine,” I said as from outside a huge round of cheering erupted from the crowd. The Knights had scored! There was more applause from inside the lounge and a shout of “Come on” from a dark-haired woman slightly further down.

“That’s Amanda, Charlie’s girlfriend,” Hannah said.

“You’ll like her. And then we’ve got Katie, Andy’s wife—he’s at number seven.

Then, oh, Tilly is here. Tils!” She waved at a woman with short blonde hair, one side of which was shaved and dyed pink.

“Tils is Frankie’s wife and a living saint. She’s the twins’ mum too.”

“Hey,” Tilly said as she strolled over and hugged Hannah. “Haven’t seen you in a while. How’s things?”

“Good, jet-lagged as normal. Tils, this is Harper, Jack’s nanny. Harper, this is Tilly.”

“Tils, please. Tilly makes me feel like I should be wearing pearls and watching polo with a whole raft of yummy mummies,” she said with a chuckle as she reached out to shake my hand.

“Nice to meet you,” I said, smiling. Oh yes, we were going to get on very well.

And just like that, the floodgates opened and people began to descend on us with smiles and questions.

I didn’t mind, though, because it didn’t feel like an interrogation.

It felt more like a welcome.