Page 3 of The Road Back Home
A loud, incessant buzzing jerks me from the half-doze I’ve been drifting in for the last hour.
I groan, tugging my pillow over my head, unwilling to fully wake up for the day.
I’d been awake until after two in the morning to finish a paper I’ve put off for weeks, then the dark silence brought about awful nightmares that kept ripping me from the fitful sleep.
Not for the first time, I wonder why I ever signed up for an eight a.m. class.
A loud groan flows from deep in my chest as I push myself out of bed with a herculean effort.
I shuffle to the closet and grab the first top I see.
As I exchange my sweats for a pair of denim shorts, my sleep-addled brain drifts back to when Holden had come over.
He’d been just as easy to talk to on my couch as he was in the coffeeshop on Friday.
I had eventually stopped questioning my decision to invite him over, and he didn’t make me regret it.
What had taken me aback most, though, was how interested in Holden that Ashton grew.
Still wary, but curious. That curiosity soon brought along demands for the man’s attention, and Holden responded without hesitation.
His expression was open and hands gentle as he played with the toddler, though he never stopped talking to me as he played and I cooked dinner.
Holden had even texted me forty-five minutes after he left to let me know he was safely back in his hotel room. The message had loosened a tightness in my chest. I hadn’t known I was worried, but that worry disappeared with Holden’s assurances.
Sighing, I hurry to brush my hair and teeth before unplugging my phone from its charging cable.
My bag sits on the end of the couch where I’d left it last night, full of binders, papers, and my laptop.
I sling the strap over my shoulder and grab my keys from the hook.
The corridor outside my door is eerily silent, echoing with each step I take, each slap of my sandals against the bottoms of my feet.
A shudder works its way down my spine. Even after living in this building for two years, the vast emptiness and quiet unnerve me.
I make it to the exit without seeing a single person or hearing anything from apartments hidden beyond heavy metal doors.
Heat washes over me as I step outside. Shoving my hair from my face, I press the button on my fob until I hear a double-beep coming from four cars away.
Headlights flash in the dimness of the parking garage, and I hurry to my SUV.
After tossing my bag onto the passenger seat, I tie my hair back into a sloppy bun then slide in behind the wheel.
I hurried type out a 911 text to my friends and drop my phone into the cup holder before starting the engine.
Tristan, lovely best friend he is, has my drink finished before I even open the door to Rise he waves his hands in the air to get me to stop, and I wiggle my fingers in his direction and drive away.
Tristan
How dare you not tell us you did that!!!! Does our friendship mean so little???
I laugh but put my phone away to ready my notes for the lecture.
Unfortunately, my lack of response does little to stem the flow of texts from my friends over the next two hours.
There are thirty-seven texts waiting for me to read as soon as class lets out.
Only two are from Luci, a rather subdued reaction for the bubbly, excitable woman, and one has come from Holden.
I hesitate before promising Tristan more details later then move on to Holden’s.
Holden
It was great to hang out with you and Ashton the other day.
Dealla
It really was fun. Sorry I ended up having to do homework. Maybe next time you’re in town, I won’t be drowning in the weight of research papers.
Holden
I look forward to it.
My heart stutters in my chest, and I bite back a smile.
A small part of me says I’m putting too much stock in this friendship, too much too fast if I care about anything he says.
A larger part instructs me to enjoy it while it lasts.
It has an expiration date—they always do—and what’s the harm in trying, even if it ends in a fiery crash?
As long as I keep in mind that I have responsibilities.
As long as I remember I’ll be left with nothing more than memories of a gray-eyed man who interrupted my life on a random Friday afternoon.
As long as I don’t forget, I’ll be fine.
Between classes during the week and caring for Ashton in my free time, the days seem to blur together.
Three weeks pass in the blink of an eye, and I wake on the fourth of April to my phone ringing.
I fumble for it blindly, not bothering to open my eyes, and swipe across the screen with my thumb until Tristan’s voice comes through the speaker.
It’s loud and off-key as he sings Happy Birthday .
I stifle a sigh and rub at my eyes as I sit up.
When he finishes singing, I thank him as sincerely as I can for it being only five in the morning, then I hang up on him.
Tristan’s excited chatter vanishes, the recitation of his plans for the day bursting into nothingness.
Yawning, I let my phone drop onto the mattress and grumble even while I push myself out of bed.
It’s too early, but sleep won’t come back.
It is nothing more than a recalcitrant concept that refuses to cooperate when all I want is to spend more time unconscious to the world.
The cold air of the apartment shivers across my bare skin, and I shuffle to the kitchen to pull the coffee press from its place in the cupboard.
After filling it with coffee grounds and hot water, I flop down onto the couch to wait.
One cup turns to two turns to five, and my blood is buzzing with the caffeine though I feel no less exhausted.
I wash my mug and the press, put them in the drying rack, then cross the living room to the balcony door.
I pull the blinds open, letting in the morning sunshine, before turning back to the apartment.
No class means a free day, so I might as well get the tidying out of the way.
I’ve been putting it off for too long, anyway.
It’s nearly noon when I finish cleaning the floors.
I lean the mop against the wall and swipe my arm across my forehead.
The music coming from my phone speakers continues as I pick up my phone to check for notifications.
My smile breaks free despite my fighting it at the name on the most recent text I’ve received.
Holden
What are you up to?
Dealla
Not much. Just gotta finish some housework then hanging out with Tristan when he’s off work.
Holden
Oh. Sounds fun.
Dealla
Total rager. Gonna watch old sci-fi shows with cheesy special effects, drink wine, and toast to another trip around the sun.
Holden
It’s his birthday?
Dealla
Nope! Mine. I’m a whole whopping year older.
Holden
Happy birthday!!
Did you ever tell me when it was? Because if so, I feel awful for forgetting
Dealla
Don’t worry, I never mentioned it. Birthdays aren’t super important to me anyway, unless it’s someone else’s, so even if I HAD told you and you forgot, I wouldn’t have cared.
Holden
Well, happy birthday anyway. I hope you’ve enjoyed your day so far.
Dealla
t’s been great. Tris woke me up at ass o’clock to tell me happy birthday, and I’ve spent most of the morning cleaning so far which has been surprisingly relaxing. I’m also caught up on schoolwork. Now I’m talking to you. So... As I said, nice day!
Holden
I’m glad I’m on the list of nice things that’s happened.