Page 2 of The Road Back Home

“No more bunny, my little bookworm. It’s time for a snack.”

He wiggles off my legs and runs clumsily to the kitchen.

I quickly follow, knowing his penchant for getting into the lower cupboards if I’m not there to stop him.

Ashton’s giggle bursts free when I scoop him up rapidly, and he lets me set him in his highchair.

Familiarity makes it easy to buckle him in without looking, and I grab the orange-and-white carton from off the top of the refrigerator.

Once he’s distracted with his snack, I go back to the couch to grab my phone.

Dealla

Sorry, Ash wanted a story. And I’m sorry you’re bored.

Holden

Okay where did I say you should apologize about either of those things? Lol it’s not your fault. But I assume story time is over?

Dealla

Yep! Now it’s time to eat ALL THE FISHIES!!!

Holden

…what?

Dealla

Those fish-shaped snack crackers. They’re his favorite.

Holden

Oh! I was worried for a second he was allowed to eat raw fish

Dealla

Nope, sushi comes later in life. So what’s up?

Holden

Nothing. As I said, I’m bored

Dealla

Well, there’s a lot you can do in Austin, but Ash has to go down for a nap soon, so I can’t exactly play tour guide…

But if you don’t mind hanging out with a seriously under-caffeinated and over-homeworked college student and a hyperactive toddler, I guess you could hang out here for a while?

Holden

Really?

Oh, don’t make me regret this , I think even as I send back a message with my address.

The typing bubble appears then disappears before his Be there soon comes in.

I glance at Ashton, snorting out a laugh when he smashes two crackers together with smacking lips.

He grins back, and I round the bar-counter to take the fish he offers.

“Auntie Dee has to get changed, okay? So you sit here and eat your snack, then we’ll do some art.”

Ashton responds by crunching on another cracker.

I tousle his hair then head to my bedroom.

I know it doesn’t really matter what I wear.

It isn’t like this is a date, after all.

It’s just a chance for two maybe-we-could-be-friends to hang out and while away time.

But a ratty pair of pajama shorts and a baggy T-shirt is not a style I want anyone to associate with me; not even my actual friends see me this way often.

Even as I grab my favorite leggings and tunic combo, however, I wonder why I would possibly care about Holden’s opinion.

It is almost a guarantee we won’t ever see each other after today, anyway.

“An’ Dee!”

“What’s up, little man?” I stifle a giggle when I step out of my room. Ashton’s face is covered with orange-yellow crumbs, some even in his hair. “You’re a mess, buddy. Are you done?”

“’Es!”

I rush through washing his face and as much of his hair as possible, then I set him on the floor.

He immediately moves toward the bin of toys in the corner.

I turn to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water from inside, but pause in the middle of cracking the lid open.

Another knock sounds on the door a second later.

I double-check that Ashton is engrossed in his toys before I head to the entryway.

“It is ridiculously difficult to find this place, and the maps on the walls aren’t any help” is the first thing Holden says when I open the door.

I shrug in apology and scratch at the end of my eyebrow. “Sorry. If you’d texted when you got here, I coulda told you the exact route to take.”

“I… didn’t think of that.”

“Well, obviously.” I step back so he can enter, locking the door behind him.

His brow rises, and I realize belatedly what it must look like.

“Gotta keep the door locked. Ashton knows how to use the handle. But don’t worry, you can leave whenever you want.

I’m not gonna, like, murder you and wear your skin while selling your eyeballs on the black market. ”

“That really doesn’t make me feel any better,” he splutters, but his laughter breaks free nonetheless.

“Too specific?” I ask sheepishly.

“Much.”

I lead him to the living room, gesture toward the couch. Ashton doesn’t look away from the stuffed koala he chews on or the cars in his hand, but I hadn’t expected him to. I hesitate then ask if Holden wants a drink. He nods then returns to looking around the apartment.

Nerves overtake me with a ferocity I didn’t anticipate.

Extending the invitation had been as unexpected for me as it clearly had been for him.

I’d sent it without any real thought, and now that he’s here, I very much hate my past-self for the impulsiveness.

For doing something so unlike me. But something about him had seemed—does seem—so approachable, so harmless.

This is easy. He’s just a person. Calm down.

“So,” Holden starts, and I turn to see him jerking his chin toward the toddler in middle of the room. “This must be the infamous Ashton.”

My lips twitch, and I bite back the smile as I uncap my water bottle. “Yep. This little guy is why I don’t have a life. Hey, Ash, can you say hi to Holden?”

Ashton shakes his head, koala swinging by its ear between his teeth.

I sigh, hanging my head, even as Holden chuckles.

I really should have known the toddler wouldn’t say anything.

At sixteen months old, he’s shy and unwilling to be performative for anyone.

It had taken months for Ashton to warm up to Tristan and Luci.

I give Holden an apologetic smile, but he doesn’t seem to notice, too focused on watching the cars Ash pushes from one end of the mat to the other.

A small smile plays on the man’s lips, as if he’s actually entertained.

“So…” I start, and Holden’s gaze jerks away from my nephew.

“I’m not good company today, am I?” he asks.

“Dude, I never expect anyone to be good company.” I laugh and shake my head. “It’s barely eleven anyway, so you have a few hours before I get disappointed at your lack of playing the role of court jester.”

“My, someone’s blunt.”

“I try my best.”

My phone buzzes, and I send the incoming call to voicemail.

My stepmother is a lovely woman, but every conversation with her serves to give me a migraine and stress me out.

Too often, the topics shift to Katie, and I have a hard time biting my tongue where my former stepsister is involved.

We’d had a great childhood together. We were family for sixteen years.

But Katie has drastically changed from the nine-year-old girl I once knew.

It’s more than evident in the way she treats her son, the way she prefers to live her life with no regards to the child she’s supposed to love and care for.

“You okay?”

My head snaps up. Holden stares at me, brows drawn together over gray eyes so dark with concern. I force a smile, clear the lump from my throat, and nod. Setting my phone aside, I round the bar to sit on my L-shaped couch, shifting until my back is against the armrest.

“Yeah, I’m good,” I finally reply.

“Not someone you wanted to talk to?”

“Not right now, no. Besides, you’re here. I can call her back later. She won’t mind.”

Thankfully, Holden lets it drop. He turns his attention back to Ashton instead of saying more about the call and how quiet I’ve become.

My nephew has abandoned his cars in favor of the plastic building blocks.

He slams them together before twisting them this way and that, fitting them together with a satisfied smile.

I cough quietly. “So what brings you to Austin, anyway?”

Holden hesitates, which piques my interested.

A simple question can only have a simple answer, right?

My curiosity grows when, after a moment, he merely replies with “Friends.” I shrug it off, though: If he wanted me to know the reason behind the hesitation and what he is really doing in my city, he would tell me. We are all entitled to our secrets.

A yawn slips free though I try almost desperately to stifle it. Holden gestures toward the door, but I shake my head. I’m fine, if a little sleepy.

“You can go if you wanna,” I assure him, “but don’t feel like you have to. Just under-caffeinated, like I said. Didn’t get to hit the coffeeshop this morning like I normally do.”

“Oh? Why not?”

“Ash woke me up at, like, five this morning then refused to get ready to go. So I gave up.”

“Sounds rough.”

“It was, but…” I glance at the toddler—my nephew—my whole world—at the sunlight slanting across his cherubic face. “He’s worth it.”

When he starts tugging on my shirt and whining, I check the time.

Noon. I rise to my feet and put together a quick lunch of string cheese, ham slices, and a quartered apple.

Ashton reaches his arms up; I lift him up and set him in his highchair, placing the plate on the tray.

Holden politely rejects my offer of food for himself, claims he ate a large breakfast. I shrug in easy acceptance—I don’t know if he’s lying and if he is, I can’t exactly sit on the man’s chest and force-feed him—and join him on the couch.

After lunch comes Ashton’s nap. I wipe his face and hands clean before carrying him into the bedroom. His eyes droop almost the second I tuck him in, and I kiss his cheek. He falls asleep without his lullaby, and I slip from the room only to stumble to a stop outside the door.

The cars have been placed in their basket.

The koala sits on the bottom shelf of the bookcase with the rest of the stuffed animals.

Ashton’s plate is no longer on his tray; instead, it stands nestled in the slats of the drying rack beside the sink.

I blink a few times then turn my attention to Holden where he sits on the couch.

“Did you clean up?” At his nod, I can’t help but swallow thickly. “Thank you. You didn’t have to.”

“I know. You look like you keep busy enough with him, and I felt awkward just sitting here, so I thought I’d help out a little.”

“You’re a sweetheart.”

He shakes his head with a rueful smile. “Nah, not a sweetheart. Just not a dick. Wait, can I say that?”

“Yes, Holden. You can say ‘dick’. So… How do you feel about some television while he naps?” I ask, and he gestures toward the available cushions.

I grab the remote from the shelf on the wall and drop to sit on the far end of the couch.

He stays quiet as I scroll through my media library until I find my favorite show.

Queuing up the first episode, I tuck my legs underneath me and wait for the show to load.

The familiar baritone intonation of the narrator fills the room, and I turn my head to see if Holden is paying attention as white letters appear on a black background.

His gaze doesn’t stray from the screen, so I melt further into the cushions and focus on the lonely man in an abandoned town.