Page 25 of The Road Back Home

Ashton stirs but doesn’t wake. I breathe out a sigh of relief and continue carrying the armful of clothes to the living room where the two suitcases wait on the couch.

Luci stands still until I drop the bundle onto the coffee table, then she starts folding Ashton’s jeans.

With both of us working together, it takes almost no time to pack the suitcases full.

She takes them out to the car while I enter my bedroom once more.

True to my predictions, Ashton fusses when I wake him, fidgets and whines as I ready him for the day.

He, thankfully, eats his breakfast without complaint—I silently send gratitude to the creators of frozen waffles for their ingenuity.

As soon as he’s done, I wash the plate and fork then unbuckle him from his seat.

I double-check that there’s nothing I’ve forgotten, grab Ashton’s hand, and lead him out of the apartment.

Luci leaves us at security, kissing Ashton on the cheek, and I watch her disappear through the crowd milling about.

Somehow, I get Ashton and myself through the checkpoint and to a pair of seats by the large window without too much hassle.

An elderly couple sits across from us, and I force a smile before turning my attention to Ashton.

“You have a darling boy,” the woman says, her wrinkled face softening with her smile.

I bite back the knee-jerk reaction of telling the woman that Ashton isn’t my son, that I’m just the one raising him because his actual mother was too selfish to do her job.

Instead, I thank her and run a hand over Ashton’s hair.

He climbs down off the chair at my encouragement when the old man holds up a coin.

The next thirty minutes are full of magic tricks and idle chitchat before the couple rises to their feet and walks away when their flight is called.

I watch them go and wonder if Holden and I could ever have that.

Does he want that, to grow old together, help another young woman struggling to keep her child corralled in an airport, to entertain the little one and see their grandchildren in him?

My heart clenches at the mental image, the question, and I realize—

I want that. Truly, madly, deeply.

Eddie grins widely when I come through the gate with Ashton on my hip.

The man throws his arms around us as soon as he can, carefully squeezing us, and I can do nothing but laugh at the exuberance.

He keeps an arm draped over my shoulder as he steers me toward baggage claim.

Though I protest, he carries the suitcase out of the airport and across the parking lot.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to see a carseat in the backseat—after all, it’s a legal requirement, and I doubt Holden would allow us in a car without one—but it still takes me aback.

I glance at Eddie. He doesn’t seem to notice me as he stows the suitcase in the trunk, so I don’t mention it.

I merely get Ashton buckled in and run my finger along his cheek before I slide into the front passenger seat.

Six text messages and a voicemail await my attention when I turn on my phone, and I respond to the group chat with Tristan and Luci, assuring them Ashton and I landed safely.

Once the message is delivered, I tell my parents the same.

Holden’s text is surprisingly reserved—merely Have a safe flight xx .

I don’t bother responding; he can figure out the flight was successful when we arrive on his doorstep.

The voicemail from my father gives me pause. There’s something in his voice, his words, that I’ve not heard before.

“Hey, kid. I just wanna let you know… I’m proud of you.

You know that, right? I know you’re gonna ask if everything’s alright, and it is.

Don’t worry. I’m just an old man who’s realized he hasn’t exactly been the best dad to his daughter.

I just—I guess I still see you as the little girl who used to look up to me, but you ain’t that anymore, are you?

I miss who you used to be, but I’m so damn proud of who you’ve become.

Anyway, I, uh, I just wanted to tell you I love you.

Call me whenever you get this. If you want. ”

I wipe away the tear that lingers in the corner of my eye and save the message to my phone. Eddie glances at me when I lower my phone to my lap, and I smile, say it’s my dad being weirdly affectionate out of nowhere.

“Gotta be the holidays,” he suggests with a shrug. “So does the little guy know where he’s going?”

I shake my head and chew on the edge of my thumbnail. “Nah, I figured I’d let it be one of his Christmas surprises. Ashton really loves him.”

“He really loves Ashton, too,” says Eddie with a quick glance in the mirror before changing lanes.

“Because I like you and I think you can handle hearing this, I never thought I’d see the day he’d fall so hard for someone like he has for you.

He’s been in relationships before, sure, some that were serious, some not.

But you and Ashton? You two have become so important to him, and I’m…

I’m thankful for that. For you coming into his life and staying.

He deserves the happiness more than anyone I know. ”

I squirm and avoid looking at him. His tone is too pleading, too earnest, and I feel pinned by the gravity of his words. Turning my face toward the window, I exhale slowly to calm myself. To not make a fool of myself by crying over such simple words.

Thankfully, Eddie doesn’t seem to expect a reply, or he notices how emotional I am now. Whatever the reason, he reaches over to adjust the volume on the radio and continues driving.

The rest of the trip drags on, an influx of traffic adding minutes to the drive.

Finally, Eddie pulls into the driveway and parks in front of a garage door.

Before I can unbuckle her belt, Holden pulls open her door and nearly vibrates as he waits for me to step out of the car.

My feet touch the ground, and his arms tug me in against his chest. The bone-crushing embrace gives me the chance to breathe in the sharp, clean scent of him.

Something in me shifts, an empty space in my soul filling and disappearing with the contact.

My eyes sting, vision blurring, by the time we separate.

“I missed you,” I say on a tremulous breath.

“I missed you, too. Fuck, I’m so glad to see your face.” Holden presses a tender kiss to my lips—so soft and sweet—then grins brightly. “Now, I’m gonna get Ashton, if you don’t mind.”

“Go ahead. I know wild horses couldn’t stop you.”

“Truer words have never been spoken.”

I stand just behind him, watch as he ducks into the backseat. My brows rise when he unbuckles the clips of Ashton’s carseat without trouble or hesitation. Eddie catches my eye, jerks his head in Holden’s direction.

“He’s been practicing,” he mouths, and I could cry with the emotions welling up in me.

Ashton’s sleepy whine turns into a screech of Holden’s name.

He launches his tiny body into Holden’s arms, and Holden holds him close as he backs away from the car.

I push the door closed once they’re out of the way.

Both of my favorite boys ignore me completely.

Ashton chatters on, and Holden lets himself be engrossed by the words.

He carries the toddler into the house without a backward look.

“I have a feeling we’re not wanted anymore,” I say lightly, shaking my head.

Eddie huffs out a laugh and opens the trunk with the push of a button. “As I said, he’s very fond of Ashton.”

I take the suitcases from his hands, leading him inside.

He goes to the kitchen while I carry the luggage to Holden’s bedroom.

My footsteps slow when I near the room across the hall.

Inside, Holden sits on the floor with Ashton, showing off a line of books geared for children.

A small box spills toys onto the floor in the corner.

A nightlight is plugged into the outlet nearest the bed.

The room screams of someone putting in the work to transform it from an adult’s space to one a child can be safe in.

Holden glances over his shoulder, grins brightly, then he turns back to Ashton. “And this is Henry’s favorite book. He’ll be here in a couple days, so you’ll have a friend to play with.”

“‘Nee?”

“Yeah, Henry. You’ll like him.”

After brushing a gentle kiss to Ashton’s hair, Holden shifts the toddler off his lap and climbs to his feet. Ashton immediately heads to the toy-box and rummages through it. I can’t stop my smile at the sight, at his confidence, at his curiosity. Holden leans forward and presses his lips to mine.

“Hi,” I whisper when he pulls back.

“Hi. Figured he could stay in here, since Henry uses the room when they’re over.”

“It’s very much appreciated.”

“Good.” He kisses me again. “Thanks for saying yes to spending the holidays with me.”

“Thank you for inviting us. And before you ask, no, I didn’t have plans already.”

Holden nods slowly, his hand cupping my jaw as he kisses away any further words, and I smile against his lips.

When we separate, he calls for Ashton, waits for him to approach, and wraps a hand around the child’s smaller one.

My heart skips a beat as I stare at the hands.

The sight is wonderful, promising so much good in our futures.

Peace and love and security, those are what Ashton deserves.

And this happiness? This steadfast affection for such an amazing man? It’s what I deserve.

I may lose it all, but I’ll hold onto it with both hands while I have it.

The day passes in a blissful blur. Ashton explores the house with Holden keeping him out of anything that can hurt him, and Eddie and I watch the two.

Conversation flows easily between us, despite Holden’s preoccupation, and I have to force my thoughts away from how right it feels to be here. I can’t stay.