Page 92 of The Missus

Keira zipped it on that particular front. ‘Anyway, sleep on the wedding thing. See how you feel about it tomorrow,’ Keira advised her.

Alanna sighed and slumped on the sofa. ‘I’m going to have to go, though, aren’t I? I mean, when you get down to it, I can’t see a way out. And I am, in a verydisgustedway, pleased for them. Kind of.’

‘You’re a bigger woman than I am,’ Keira said, impressed.

‘What else can I do? I’ve found love. I can’t deny them the same, can I? I have to give them my blessing. Which means going to that horrid wedding,’ Alanna said with a groan.

Keira smiled, cuddling up to her on the sofa. ‘You’re amazing, you know that?’

‘I can afford to be,’ Alanna said, giving her a look that shot a tremble up Keira’s spine. She wondered if it was too soon to suggest they maybe have an early night? She decided it might be a touch insensitive after that much discussion of her mother’s physical relationship with her ex-boyfriend. That was alright, though. Keira didn’t need things to be physical every minute. Their love had a lot more to it than that.

The door went again. ‘Whonow?’ Keira demanded and went to the door to find Kelly. ‘Here ya go,’ Kelly said, handing over an Amazon box.

‘Kelly!’ Keira greeted her. ‘How’re tricks?’

‘Don’t ask. I’ve got to go and deliver something to the happy couple now,’ Kelly grumbled.

‘You could always try and get a different route?’ Keira suggested.

Kelly chewed it over. ‘Nope. I think it’s good for me to practise being an adult about it. If I do it enough, I think I will be.’

Keira’s life was not the only one changed by Kelly throwing those eggs at Keira’s car. Kelly had destroyed a good relationship for reasons she didn’t understand that night. It wasn’t the first time she’d blown shit up inexplicably. She couldn’t keep doing it, she decided. Several weeks later, Keira and Alanna received a (jointly addressed) letter from Kelly saying she was sorry for everything and she hoped they could sort it out someday, but in the meantime, did Alanna happen to have a good recommendation for someone that could help her get her shit together?

Keira and Alanna were suspicious at first that it was another ruse to create more destruction. But Alanna sent a letter back with a name and number anyway. They didn’t hear from her for months. Until Alanna ordered a book and Kelly, back on her old route, came to drop it off. You couldn’t miss the change in her. ‘A work in progress,’ she called herself. She wasn’t perfect, but she was doing alright. Keira was pleased for her. And also a little inspired by her courage to face up to herself.

Keira decided it was time for her to face things, too.

She found an investigator who specialised in tracing birth parents. He found her birth mother very quickly. Mostly because she’d wanted to be found. She’d been doing her own searching for years. It had been a hell of a day when Keira had gone to that café meeting with her biological mother. Keira had thought she might pass out before she could enter the building, but Alanna held her hand and got her in the door, to the table, to the woman that gave her up thirty years ago.

Her name was Rose, and she told a classic tale through many tears. Pregnant at fifteen with her first boyfriend, religious family, she was pressured to give Keira up even though she loved her at first sight. She never stopped regretting it. She’d put herself on every list for consent to contact that she could find but had given up hope after so many years without a word. She’d been so happy to get that call and to meet Keira at last. That afternoon was a weight off Keira’s shoulders. Her life hadn’t started with rejection. She didn’t have to carry that anymore. And screw every prospective adoptive parent that only wanted the kids who felt pressured to present perfection. That had never been Keira’s fault.

Keira and Rose cried together that afternoon—which was weird but sort of nice—and vowed to keep in contact. It might be a bit late to be mother and daughter, but they wanted to find some kind of relationship. They had met several times now, and Keira was pleased to be able to forgive her, even to grow fond of her. Keira hadn’t found her birth father yet—Rose had lost track of him—but the investigator was working on it. And if he never did find him, it was OK, because Rose could fill in a lot of gaps in Keira’s history. That was important to her. Keira knew the beginning of her story, at last. So now, she could live the rest of it fully. She knew who she was, and she knew what she wanted. She was sitting on the sofa next to her, after all.

‘How do you feel about Mexican tonight?’ Keira asked Alanna.

Alanna raised an eyebrow. ‘I was thinking about an early night.’

Keira was delighted. ‘Are you sure? You’re not a bit…’

Alanna waved a hand of dismissal. ‘Forget them. Forget all of it. We’re locking that door and we’re not opening it again for the rest of the night, not even for food. I just want you tonight.’

Keira forgot about the idea of a burrito very quickly, standing up and grabbing Alanna by the hand. ‘Who cares about food, anyway,’ she said, pulling Alanna to her feet, where she met her in a passionate kiss.

In the bedroom, things got hot extremely fast, and as Keira made love to Alanna, she couldn’t remember why she’d ever wanted anyone else. Not one of her one-night stands had ever made her feel this kind of passion. But it was lucky she had wanted that life once upon a time. Because she might not have gotten close to Alanna any other way. She’d been too stupid to see what was right in front of her the entire time. The perfect woman. She didn’t know how she’d been so blind that she hadn’t seen it the second she laid eyes on Alanna Hall.

It was a mystery she simply couldn’t solve.