Page 13 of The Missus

‘What, like a shower schedule?’ Keira asked.

‘I was more thinking of the part where we pretend to be together,’ Alanna said dryly.

Keira smiled thinly. ‘Ah. Yes. That. OK, so it worked well the first two times. I didn’t wanting to change anything up.’

‘But I didn’t live here then,’ Alanna said, waiting for the lightbulb to go on. It didn’t go on.

‘I don’t follow,’ Keira frowned.

‘You don’t see the logistical issue?’ Alanna asked.

‘Err…’

‘Well, it would be a bit weird if I jumped out of the spare room and I’d been there the entire time you were entertaining your… new friend.’

Keira nodded. ‘Take your point. How about I text you when I’ve got someone in? That way, you can slip out while I keep my new friend in my room. If I smell trouble, that is.’

‘Alright, give me your number.’

Keira unlocked her phone and handed it over. Alanna put her number in. She decided in a moment of whimsy to name herself, ‘The Missus.’ She handed the phone back to Keira. ‘So I get the text and then I sneak out? Do I leave the flat and walk back in? Or can I just be in the living room? Like I walked in before you realised?’

‘Dealer’s choice,’ Keira shrugged.

‘Alright. What about the backstory? Where the hell have I been?’

‘Didn’t you mention something about a conference once?’ Keira asked.

‘Conference it is. And you’re a serial cheat, that’s right, isn’t it?’

‘That’s correct. Scumbag with a sex-addiction,’ Keira said, putting a hand up.

Alanna nodded, wondering if there might be a bit of truth to that last part. ‘Well, I think that probably covers my questions. Anything you’d like to add?’

‘Nope. I think we’ve got it sorted.’ She stood. ‘Right, I’m going out.’

‘What, like on a date?’ Alanna asked.

‘Yep.’

‘We’re just jumping right in, I guess,’ Alanna noted. ‘But what about when you come back? How will I know?’

Keira thought. ‘I guess it’s not fair to ask you to stay in your room all night. Especially as it’s still a study. OK, tell you what. I’ll keep her out until gone eleven. Do you pee much?’

Alanna raised an eyebrow. ‘What?’

‘In the middle of the night, I mean?’ Keira added quickly.

‘Oh, I see. I hardly ever pee in the night. But I’ll just make sure to have a big one before I go to bed, just in case.’

‘OK, so on my date nights, you pee and go to bed before eleven. Is that… is that a reasonable thing to ask?’ Keira asked anxiously.

‘For free rent. Yes,’ Alanna replied simply.

‘Cool,’ Keira said. ‘Well, there are sheets and towels in the cupboard. Have a good night. I won’t see you later.’

Alanna regarded Keira and her easy confidence. ‘You seemverycertain your date will come back.’

‘I do, don’t I?’ Keira said cheekily as she left.