Page 35 of The Missus

Alanna’s mother rang while she was on the bus home. Alanna let it ring for a long time before she gave up and regretfully answered.

‘Darling, it’s Mummy,’ her mother said in a light tone that meant,No, we will not ever address the incident at Keira’s. We’re just rolling right over it.

‘Hello,’ Alanna greeted her evenly.

‘So, how’s life?’

‘Good.’ Alanna didn’t say more. There was no point. Her mother didn’t listen anyway. She just waited for an opportunity to bring the conversation back round to herself.

‘That’s great. So, I just wanted to check with you about the end of the month...’

‘The end of the month?’

‘It’s my tenth wedding anniversary on the thirty-first. Had you forgotten?’

Alanna had stopped keeping track of wedding anniversaries after the third husband, but there was no chance she was going to say that. ‘I guess it slipped my mind. You’re having a shindig?’

‘Yes, out in the garden. Can you come?’

Alanna would have rather switched to glass tampons. ‘Sure.’

‘Great. Just so you’re aware, I was planning to invite Benjamin.’

Alanna pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Why on earth would you do that?’

‘I’m sorry you’ve hit a bump in the road, but I thought it might be a nice chance for you to have a good talk about it all.’

She was trying to get her back with that dick. ‘You know I’m with Keira now, don’t you?’ Alanna said. She was glad to have that lie sitting in her back pocket for just such an occasion.

‘Oh? Still?’ her mother asked.

‘That’s right.’

‘She wouldn’t want to come, though, would she?’ her mother said, dressing up her instruction as a polite enquiry.

Alanna didn’t mistake it for a real question, but she pretended she did. ‘Well, I’ll have to check with her, but just in case, I wouldn’t ask Benjamin,’ she said, deciding that she would say that Keira was coming and make a last-minute excuse.

Her mother paused. ‘Oh.’

‘You already asked him.’

‘Well, yes.’

‘You asked him before you askedme,’ Alanna said, trying not to raise her voice.

‘I was doing it alphabetically.’

Alanna didn’t even try to argue with that. ‘Right. OK. Well, I hope you know that’s going to make it very awkward for me. And Keira.’

‘Well, I’d be quite surprised if she bothered to come.’

‘Why would you be surprised?’

‘I’m sure she’s got… other things to do.’

‘Mum, Keira willdefinitelybe coming with me.’ Oh god, she shouldnotbe saying that. Why was she saying that?

‘Are you sure that’s a good idea? With Benjamin?’ her mother asked in as careful a tone as she possessed.