Page 90 of The Missus

‘Driving people? Is that what you think I do?’ Alanna asked.

‘No, but I liked how it made my sentence flow,’ Keira explained. ‘OK, are we doing this or not?’

Alanna groaned. ‘Fine. One last drive before they tell me I’m banned from ever getting near a combustion engine ever again.’

‘What the hell do you think happens in that test?’ Keira asked her.

‘I’m preparing for the absolute worst. As far as I’m concerned, I might be in prison by the day’s end for dangerous driving. That way, if I just fail, I’ve still got my freedom.’

‘That’s one way to approach it. Now, come on. You don’t want to be late.’

Alanna pulled out perfectly onto the road, driving them over to the test centre without a single hitch.

‘Right, I’ll be waiting for you over there in that…’ Keira looked across the road, ‘…Stationery shop. Damn.’

‘What’s wrong with that? You can buy notebooks. Youlovenotebooks.’

‘That’s exactly what I’m worried about. I’m stockpiling as it is. And I just know I’m going to find numerous lovely ones in there that have to come home with me. And then I’ll make all my notes on my laptop.’ Keira realised Alanna had gone quiet. ‘You’re gonna smash it.’

Alanna sighed. ‘We’ll see.’

Keira kissed her gently on the cheek. ‘Go and get full marks so we can go on that road trip next month without me having to shotgun Red Bulls the whole way to Scotland.’

Alanna moaned and got out of the car like she was walking to her death.

***

Keira saw Alanna leaving the test centre from the window of the shop. She finished paying and ran out holding four notepads, sprinting across the road for the news. ‘Well?’

Alanna shrugged, looking miserable.

Keira cocked her head at her girlfriend. ‘This is a fake-out, isn’t it? You passed. Didn’t you? Didn’t you? Stop it, now. I know you passed.’

Alanna grinned. ‘Sixty-nine points out of seventy-four.’

Keira nearly dropped the notepads. ‘Yes! I knew it. Bonus for the hilarious score.’

Alanna laughed. She looked down at Keira’s hands. ‘Fournotebooks?’

‘Don’t notebook shame me.’ Keira put the notebooks in her bag. ‘Ready to drive me home to celebrate?’ she asked.

‘You don’t seem very surprised that I passed.’

‘Because I’m not.’

‘You didn’t think there was a chance I might fail?’ Alanna asked.

‘Not for a second,’ Keira told her. She never doubted Alanna. She never thought she’d be able to say that about anyone in the whole of her life. But thanks to a crazy idea to keep her life a certain way, here they were, everything upside down and so much better for it.

Sometimes she wondered, though. She’d read some of Alanna’s books and she had to question if her unconscious mind had recognised a keeper and worked against her conscious mind’s desire to stay removed by finding silly ways to keep Alanna in her life.

Then again, maybe she was just an idiot who got lucky.

‘I’m your chauffeur now, aren’t I?’ Alanna asked, getting into the driver’s seat.

‘You’re just better at parking,’ Keira explained.

Alanna rolled her eyes and smiled at her girlfriend. ‘Yeah, yeah, get in the car, your majesty.’