Page 34 of The Life Experiment

Sinead’s harried voice rang out across their pod of desks.

While she had every right to be stressed about a deadline being brought forward, Layla found it hard to care about the new timeline.

She cared even less about the potential strain to business relationships if someone were to inform the client it wasn’t doable.

Mayweather & Halliwell weren’t miracle workers.

They couldn’t invent extra time, even if they wanted to.

Layla’s about death date was proof of that.

But when Sinead pressed her palms to her eyes to stop herself from crying, Layla realised that she did care about something.

Leaning to one side to peer past her screen, Layla tried to grab her friend’s attention. ‘Sinead, nothing at work is worth getting this upset over,’ she said. ‘Just tell them the timeline isn’t reasonable.’

Sinead’s head lifted from her hands. ‘Tell Clayton-Parkes their demands are unreasonable? Do you want me to lose my job?’

‘No, but if we don’t start saying no, the expectations clients have are only going to increase. Then where will we end up?’

‘Working until midnight three weeks in a row?’

‘Or dead from a stroke at thirty-one.’

Sinead shuddered at the suggestion. ‘Imagine.’

Layla watched her friend brush off the awful prediction like it was a cobweb on her sleeve. Envy panged in her stomach. Gone were the days of Layla dismissing thoughts of death. Ever since learning her death date, nothing could distract her from her depressing fate.

At least you’re out of bed today , Layla reminded herself, sitting taller.

Saira had taught Layla to count the wins in the day, no matter how small they seemed. Now that Layla was back in London, so much about life felt intimidating. So much was overwhelming. But still, Layla woke up.

Still, she got out of bed and went to work.

Still, she saw Angus.

Before a smile could betray her happiness at that, Layla’s phone buzzed against the desk. Snatching it up, Layla grinned when she saw the name on the screen.

I was thinking – last night’s dinner was such a success,

how about we go again tomorrow?

Maybe for Vietnamese? And the cinema afterwards? x

Layla knew without looking at her calendar that tomorrow was a big day.

Three client-facing meetings were booked in, not to mention a stack of work for the project with Michelle.

But as thoughts of seeing Angus infiltrated her mind, Layla found she wasn’t bothered by her insane to-do list. When an evening that promised to be soul-filling could be had afterwards, anything seemed doable.

Layla began typing an excited response, but when Sinead let out a distressed whimper, she paused. ‘What’s up?’ she asked, leaning over again for a better view of her friend. When their eyes connected, Layla was alarmed to see Sinead was in tears.

‘I can’t do it, Layla,’ she whispered. ‘I can’t keep up.’

‘It’s okay. We can send an email saying—’

‘It’s not just Clayton-Parkes,’ Sinead cut in.

‘It’s everything. I’m failing at every aspect of my life.

I’m being pulled in a million different directions and even though I try and try, I keep letting people down.

Kirstie is going to leave me, but can I blame her?

I’m so busy with work, I’m never present.

I’m going to break, Layla. I can feel it. I’m going to break.’

As Sinead bit her trembling lower lip, Layla swore she would react differently this time. She would actually do something. Start making the changes she was discussing with Michelle and stop perpetuating the same cycle that was ultimately going to lead to her death.

When the pool of tears in Sinead’s eyes deepened, Layla reached for her coat. ‘Come on. You’re coming with me.’

Sinead blinked. ‘Where?’

‘Away from here.’

As Layla shrugged her coat over her shoulders, Sinead looked around. ‘But no one else is leaving yet.’

‘So? It’s after five and you need to talk to a friend. We’re going to go somewhere and do that. Preferably a pub.’

‘But what about Clayton-Parkes?’

Layla shrugged. ‘What about them? You know as well as I do that you won’t do your best work if you’re upset, and you won’t feel any better if you don’t let this out. So, let’s go.’

Layla’s directness was a shock to both women, but there was something about the commanding words that Layla liked. It made her feel like she was in control, for once.

When Layla’s eyebrow cocked in a friendly challenge, Sinead’s lips stretched into a smile. ‘I like this new Layla,’ she said, grabbing her coat too. ‘She’s fun.’

Together, the women left work at a reasonable hour for the first time since they could remember.

As Layla stepped out into a mild London night, she didn’t know if this version of herself was one she liked.

It was too new, too fragile. But what Layla did know was that if she didn’t try to be her, she would die in two years’ time with more regrets than a person should amount in a lifetime. That was enough to push her to try.