Page 15 of The Life Experiment

The curtains were closed. Layla didn’t know what time it was, nor did she care. She was in bed, as she had been for the last two days.

She’d missed work. She’d missed calls from her family.

And that morning, she’d decided she wasn’t going to fill out any more of OPM Discoveries’ stupid surveys.

What was the point? In two years’ time, none of it would matter anyway.

Besides, what did Saira expect her to say – ‘I feel happy knowing that I’m barrelling towards my untimely death’?

Groaning, Layla rolled onto her side. Her hand reached for her laptop, but at the last moment, she stopped herself. Why research OPM Discoveries again? It wasn’t like it helped.

Ever since finding out her result, researching was all Layla had done.

Scrolling through endless results, she had been consumed with trying to find a flaw in the company’s work history.

Something, anything, to delegitimise their claim that they could predict her death.

In all those endless searches, Layla found nothing.

Worse still, those fruitless hours added to the ‘Days Layla Has Wasted’ tally she was collating.

The only thing more terrifying than seeing the number of wasted days was realising how quickly a new one was added.

Burrowing her face into her pillow, Layla let out a frustrated groan.

She was grateful that her flatmate Rhi wasn’t there to hear her.

A junior doctor who worked even harder than Layla, Rhi used the apartment as a place to sleep and little else.

Usually, the two women’s schedules meant they were like ships that pass in the night, but even their fleeting interactions over the last few days had concerned the elusive Rhi, who normally didn’t bother herself with Layla’s life.

Hope you’re feeling better. Text if you need me to pick up more paracetamol , Rhi had written on a Post-it note stuck to the bathroom mirror. Layla had politely ignored it.

On the bedside table, Layla’s phone buzzed.

It had been sporadically ringing for the last few hours, but the effort required to pick it up was too much.

All Layla wanted was to let her duvet swallow her whole.

But when the intercom to her apartment buzzed moments later, all hope of fading into oblivion was shattered.

Shuffling to the door with her duvet wrapped around her shoulders like an empty hug, Layla spoke into the intercom’s microphone. ‘Hello?’

‘Layla, it’s Saira. Can you let me in?’

Layla blinked, waiting for the appearance of the head of The Life Experiment to make sense, but it didn’t.

Saira lived in Birmingham, not London. Layla wasn’t supposed to see her until their counselling session in two days’ time.

And, as someone who had read the terms and conditions of the experiment in detail, Layla didn’t remember anything about house calls.

‘Layla?’

Nudged into action, Layla buzzed Saira into the building. Moments later, dressed in the same pizza-stained pyjamas she had been wearing for days, Layla opened the door. ‘What are you doing here?’ she asked, blinking to check Saira wasn’t a mirage.

‘You didn’t turn in your questionnaire this morning. Given the news you received the other day, I was worried.’ Saira paused before speaking again. ‘Can I come in?’

Dumbstruck, Layla let Saira into her apartment.

Compact and functionally furnished, the space looked as though she had only recently moved in, not lived there for three years.

But welcoming decor was for someone who had time to shop.

With Layla’s work hours, she was barely ever at the apartment, despite paying eye-watering rent for the privilege of living there.

After circling the room and studying the closed curtains and empty pizza box on the coffee table, Saira faced Layla. ‘I would ask how you are, but I think I can answer that.’

‘I have two years left to live. How do you want me to be?’

Saira’s lips pressed together like there was more she wanted to say, but instead she went to the window and threw back the curtains. Light burned Layla’s bloodshot eyes, even though the grey October day couldn’t exactly be described as bright.

With the open curtains inviting the day into the apartment, Saira moved about the room, picking up an abandoned wineglass and empty bottle of shiraz.

‘What are you doing?’ Layla asked.

‘I figure the sooner I help, the sooner you get back on your feet and keep going.’

It took everything in Layla not to choke on the statement. ‘Keep going? How am I meant to do that?’

Saira stopped. ‘What else are you supposed to do?’

When Layla couldn’t answer, Saira headed for the kitchen.

Layla followed. ‘You can’t seriously expect me to carry on like I haven’t been given a death sentence?’

‘What else are you going to do – try every takeaway pizza London has to offer?’ Saira challenged as she dropped the rubbish in the bin. ‘Believe it or not, Layla, the aim of this experiment isn’t to tell people how to die. It’s to show them how to live.’

‘But I only have two years left.’

‘So? Some people only have two minutes. Do you think they’re spending it in the dark, drowning their sorrows?’

‘Maybe,’ Layla replied, but she cringed at the petulance in her voice. With a sigh, she rubbed her eyes. ‘I don’t know what to do, Saira. How am I meant to get out of bed? How am I meant to go to work? I feel like I should be on a beach somewhere downing cocktails, not stuck in an office.’

‘Okay, let’s start with that. Do you want to quit your job?’

‘Yes. No. I don’t know,’ Layla admitted. ‘Being a lawyer is all I know. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I don’t know who I am without my career, but the idea of sitting at that desk and carrying on like there isn’t a countdown ticking in the back of my mind…’

As Layla trailed off, Saira softened. ‘Now isn’t the time for hasty decisions, Layla. There’s a lot to think of, especially in terms of practicality. Do you have the finances to support yourself if you did leave your job?’

Layla couldn’t help laughing. ‘Not even a little bit.’

‘Well then, it looks like you need to stay in work. For now, at least, but that’s okay. We can figure things out around it.’

Layla searched Saira’s face for a trace of uncertainty, but everything about her was composed. ‘Saira, I can’t,’ she whispered, feeling the all-too-familiar burn of tears once more.

‘Why not?’

‘Because everything is so pointless now. Every meeting, every phone call… They mean nothing.’

‘Things might seem that way, but they’re the opposite,’ Saira replied. ‘Time counts now more than ever. Each decision you make can craft your life into exactly what you want it to be.’

‘But I don’t know what I want it to be, and two years is nowhere near long enough to figure that out.’

Leaving Layla’s wineglass to soak in the sink, Saira approached her.

‘I know your death date was a shock, but you don’t need to destroy the life you have to make your future a good one.

Look at the foundations you’ve already built!

A job you’ve strived for and a home in one of the greatest cities in the world.

You’ve crafted something amazing, Layla.

Now you need to figure out how to utilise it. We can work that out together.’

Saira’s passionate speech shone with possibility, but after so many days of darkness it was hard for Layla to see it. ‘How?’ she asked, her chin wobbling.

‘By taking it one day at a time. Small step after small step until this feels achievable.’

Again, Layla waited for doubt to creep into Saira’s tone, but it never did. Lifting her chin, Layla met Saira’s gaze. ‘Do you really think I can do it?’

‘Layla,’ Saira replied, taking her hand. ‘When I read your application, I knew you needed to be part of this study. I knew we would learn so much from you. With your drive and your mind, you are unstoppable. You’ve proven that a hundred times over. Why not prove it once more?’

‘I don’t know if I can.’

‘Well, I do. Throughout your life, there hasn’t been a single obstacle placed in front of you that you haven’t successfully climbed.

Granted, this is your biggest challenge yet, but the woman I met four weeks ago was not one to back down just because something was tough.

Why not let her take the lead for a little bit? ’

When she couldn’t come up with a single reason, Layla swallowed her tears. ‘And you’ll really help me?’

‘Absolutely. I’m going to check on you every day. Expect a text. Multiple texts, even. All you need to do is respond with a number, marking your mood out of ten. Any less than seven, I’ll call you there and then. Any less than five, I’ll be on the next train to see you. How does that sound?’

‘That sounds like a lot for you to take on,’ Layla joked weakly.

‘Well, this is my experiment. I have a duty of care. But more than that, I want you to be okay.’ Moving closer, Saira let her features melt with sympathy. ‘Layla, however alone you feel right now, you’re not. You will get through this. I will be with you every step of the way.’

To prove her point, Saira squeezed Layla’s hand reassuringly. It was almost enough to make Layla believe that things might be okay after all.