Page 18 of The Life Experiment

‘Tilda said we can use her parents’ villa next month. The place is incredible. Shame we need to invite her too, though.’

Angus stirred the pho in front of him, watching chunks of chicken bob up and down in the broth.

‘She sent me photos earlier,’ Jasper continued. ‘Six beds, eight baths, a pool and a jacuzzi. Golf course nearby, naturally.’

The couple at the next table giggled, their heads so close their foreheads almost kissed. Angus was too far away to hear the joke they shared but close enough to know he wanted what they had.

‘So, what do you say? Are you in?’

Taking another mouthful of pho, Angus observed the couple’s intimacy.

The last time he had clung onto someone’s words like that was twelve days ago.

He’d been in a cafe after learning he would live to ninety-three.

The memory plucked at his chest. Again, he debated calling Layla, but today wasn’t a really bad day, was it? Today was a day like any other.

‘Angus? Angus, are you even listening to me?’ Jasper clicked his fingers in Angus’s face.

Dropping his spoon, Angus locked eyes with his oldest friend. ‘Sorry, what?’

Jasper sighed, irritated. ‘Jesus, Angus. I shouldn’t have to fight to get your attention. Next month. Tilda’s parents’ villa.’

‘Oh. Cool.’

‘Cool? That’s all you have to say about leaving this miserable weather behind for a trip to Saint Lucia?’

Angus rubbed his temples. ‘Sorry, my mind’s all over the place today.’

‘Your mind’s always all over the place,’ Jasper grumbled, taking an angry bite of food.

As the atmosphere simmered, Angus forced himself to smile. ‘Sorry. Saint Lucia sounds great. Thank you for organising it.’

‘A bit of gratitude, that’s more like it. You’ll be even more grateful when I tell you the guest list. You, me, Locke and Anderson are going, of course, then there are the girls to think of. Don’t worry, Clarissa will be there.’

Angus found he couldn’t muster any enthusiasm. Not even the fake kind. Pushing his dinner away, he nodded. ‘Let me sort the bill. My shout for not listening,’ he said, striding away before he had to engage in more empty conversation.

Bill paid, Jasper and Angus headed to Jasper’s favourite night-time haunt. Set in a converted warehouse, Luca and Carlo’s was exclusive enough to meet Jasper’s exacting standards, but it wasn’t discreet. Music pounded down the street, audible before the men even reached the club.

Bypassing the queue of well-dressed, shivering people, the men were waved inside by the bouncers.

Jasper rubbed his hands together. ‘It’s going to be a good night,’ he enthused.

Angus wished he could share his friend’s excitement, but the pounding in his head said otherwise.

Luca and Carlo’s was dimly lit and decorated like secrets were buried in the walls. The place screamed ‘Let’s sin and spend lots while doing it.’ From the back of the venue, the VIP area beckoned to Jasper’s ego. The men approached and were once again granted access as if they owned the place.

‘Look at the talent on the dance floor,’ Jasper said over his shoulder with a wolfish grin.

‘It’s so dark I can barely see the dance floor,’ Angus grumbled, but Jasper was busy greeting the tall, distinguished man waiting for them in the cordoned-off area.

Archie Locke, another school friend, rugby squad alumnus and now property developer.

So cocky he was excruciating company, Locke had a different date on his arm each week, despite also having a wedding planned for two months’ time.

But when someone was as rich and influential as Locke, people tended to look the other way at such indiscretions.

Grinning, Locke held up a bag of white powder. ‘Fancy some?’

Jasper didn’t need to be asked twice. He took the bag to the table and poured out the contents, cutting lines of cocaine with more care than Angus had seen his friend give to anything else.

As the VIP attendant pretended not to notice what was going on, Jasper laughed. ‘Imagine anyone else doing this. They’d be arrested before they even cut a line.’

Locke howled, then dipped towards the table. Angus watched him hoover drugs into his right nostril, then throw his head back and roar to the ceiling, ‘We’re untouchable! We’re un-fucking-touchable!’

Suddenly, Angus felt sick. Never had he been more aware of how stomach-churning his friends were. Hidden in the corner of some sleazy bar, downing drugs, safe in the knowledge that while other people would lose their livelihoods for this behaviour, they would be fine.

It was wrong.

It was all wrong.

And Angus was part of it.

As Jasper inhaled a line then looked at Angus expectantly, Angus noticed for the first time how his friend’s mousy hair was thinning. His skin wore the signs of too many nights like this, but still, Jasper held out a rolled note for Angus to join him.

Angus stepped backwards, but an arm slipped around his waist and stopped him. ‘You made it,’ someone purred into his ear. He turned to find a glassy-eyed Clarissa behind him, vodka and a sweet mixer clinging to her breath.

‘Jasper wouldn’t let me miss this,’ he replied, catching the eye of his irritated friend, who pointed to the drugs waiting on the table.

‘I can always count on Jasper to get you where I want you to be.’ Clarissa spoke of seduction, but her tipsy slurring ruined the effect. Grinning, she ran her hand down the centre of Angus’s chest. ‘You better come to Saint Lucia. I have my eye on a room beside yours.’

Her words plunged Angus underwater. He could picture the trip already.

Too much sun, too much alcohol, too much everything.

Jasper, louder than ever now he had an audience for two weeks.

Clarissa creeping into Angus’s room in the early hours of the morning, pretending to be lost, though that had been her destination all along.

As if reading Angus’s mind, Clarissa pushed her body against his. ‘I’ll bring my smallest bikini,’ she whispered, biting his earlobe to demonstrate her intentions.

Angus’s reaction was instinctive. He stumbled away, hands in the air to protest his innocence, with only one thing on his mind… Layla.

Layla whose searing honesty would cut through this bullshit.

Layla who could save him from these people, this place.

Layla who might even save him from himself.

Laughing to downplay the sting of rejection, Clarissa grabbed Angus and tugged him towards the sofas, but it was too late. Angus was gone, consumed by thoughts of Layla.

As Clarissa pulled harder, Angus made his choice. ‘Excuse me,’ he said, breaking free of her grip and heading for the rope marking off the VIP section.

‘Angus? Where the fuck are you going?’ Clarissa shouted, but after a few strides her voice melted into the music.

Pushing through the bodies on the dance floor, Angus made a beeline for the exit. The closer he got to it, the quicker his movements became, until suddenly the dance floor and all its intoxicated revelry was far behind him.

Cool air kissed Angus’s flushed cheeks as he stepped outside, but he didn’t allow himself time to enjoy it. Instead, he paced down an alleyway beside the club and pulled out his phone.

She picked up after six rings. ‘Hello?’

Layla’s voice vibrated through Angus, making him nervous. ‘Layla, it’s—’

‘Angus. You called.’

Melting against the wall, Angus closed his eyes. The smile in Layla’s voice told him all he needed to know.

‘I take it this means you’ve had a really bad day?’ she said.

‘Yes. It’s been marginally worse than the others, at least,’ Angus replied, then he shook his head.

‘Look, Layla, I need to be honest. I was waiting for a really bad day like you said, but the problem is, they’re all bad days.

I know I’ve bent your rule of contact, but I was hoping you’d take a mathematical overview of the situation. ’

‘And what does a mathematical overview look like?’

‘Well, the way I see it, a series of lifeless days surely equates to one really bad one.’

‘I don’t know,’ Layla said, her tone teasing. ‘Rules are rules…’

‘What if I argue my case?’

Layla laughed. ‘All right then. Convince me your sadness qualifies.’

Filling his lungs, Angus began. ‘I wake up every day not knowing who I am. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding working it out because I’m scared I won’t like who that person is, but I’m tired of being scared.’

Angus trailed off and looked up at the sky. A sea of stars dotted in inky blackness stared back, witnessing him bearing his deepest, darkest thoughts. Angus wondered how many people throughout history had been in the same position as him. Lost, lonely and looking to the sky for answers.

‘I can’t do it anymore,’ Angus admitted.

‘I can’t follow this path, waiting for things to get worse while knowing you’re only a phone call away.

I’m ready for change, you see, and I think you might be part of that.

I know it sounds crazy to think that about a person I barely know, but I’ve spent so many years not listening to my gut.

It’s time I listened to it. Right now, it’s saying I want to talk to you.

A lot.’ The words left Angus’s mouth before he had time to think about how intense they might sound to someone he had only met once.

Cringing, he scuffed the toe of his shoe across the cobbled ground.

‘And I want to change too, of course. Be a better man,’ he added for good measure.

‘Me and change,’ Layla replied slowly. ‘Well, they’re two great things.’

Angus couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I’m glad you agree. I’m also glad my ramblings haven’t terrified you.’

‘How could they? Do you not remember how odd I was when we met?’ Layla joked, then she let out a sigh that fluttered through Angus’s chest. ‘Angus, this call? Every thought that’s come tumbling out of your head? They’re the first things I’ve heard in a long time that make any sense to me.’

‘Really?’

‘Really.’ When Layla next spoke, her voice was soft like she was about to share a secret. ‘Do you want to know what my gut is saying to me?’

‘What?’

‘It’s saying that talking to you is exactly what I need to do too.’

Closing his eyes, Angus soaked in those words until the promise of what tomorrow might bring lit him up from the inside.