Page 27 of The Life Experiment

Jayden’s bed looked less welcoming now it was stripped of the sheets Layla had been using.

The room looked less inviting too. Gone were Layla’s trinkets – her necklace on the bedside table, her moisturiser beside it.

In their absence, the room transformed back into a space that belonged to a four-year-old boy.

‘You can do this,’ Saira said during their last counselling session. ‘You are ready to return to London.’

Exhaling a wobbly breath, Layla plucked her bag from the bed and left the room. Closing the door gently behind her, Layla drew a line under her time in Hull.

‘Are you ready, kiddo?’ her dad asked when she made it downstairs.

‘Pretty much,’ Layla replied, but her mum shook her head.

‘You’re not going anywhere without a packed lunch,’ she said, jumping up from the sofa.

‘Mum, you don’t have to,’ Layla protested.

‘She already has,’ David replied, switching off the TV. Gripping the edge of his armchair, David hauled himself to his feet. A grimace betrayed his pain, but Joanna was back before Layla could comment on it.

‘It’s only a cheese sandwich, but it should last you until you get to London. Do you want me to make extra? You could take them to work tomorrow, if you’d like.’

Layla wanted to smile at Joanna’s fussing, but her lips wouldn’t comply. The idea of being back in London in a few hours was overwhelming enough; the thought of returning to work the following day was something else entirely.

But the decision to go back had been made.

Maya gave Layla the first nudge, Saira the second.

‘Life must continue, Layla,’ she said. ‘What that looks like is for you to decide, but it all starts with facing what you had before. Your family have provided the healing space you needed. Now it’s time to stand on your own again. ’

Layla didn’t know how stable her footing was anymore, but with her bag packed and a train ticket booked, she knew she had to try.

Besides , her brain pointed out, once you’re back, you’ll see Angus.

Layla’s stomach jittered as she thought of their earlier messages.

I can’t believe we’re going to be in the same

city again soon.

London’s missed you x

I’ve missed London too, I think.

I’m happy to be heading back.

Well, 95% happy x

Because you get to see me again? x

Awkward. Seeing you is the 5% that means

I’m not happy… x

Ouch. I walked into that one didn’t I haha?

There I was, thinking you thought I was a

blond Hugh Grant! x

That was before I knew you better ;) x

Grinning, Layla let her mind wander to what it would be like to see Angus again. How would they greet each other? Would it be awkward? Would they hug? Kiss?

Layla admonished herself for the thought. She hated how easily it had crept up on her. Even more than that, she hated how it dared her to imagine a future that didn’t involve an end.

Before a mix of pain and butterflies could take hold, Joanna raised her hand to Layla’s cheek. Brushing Layla’s skin with her thumb, she said, ‘You are strong even when you feel weak. You are loved even when you feel unlovable, and you can get through tough times even when you think you can’t.’

No other words were said after that. A hug said what both women were feeling better than words could, anyway.

When David cleared his throat, Layla and Joanna drew apart. ‘Sorry, but we’d best head off if you want to get to the station on time,’ he said.

The temptation to say ‘forget it’ and miss the train altogether was strong, but Layla knew Maya was right – it was time to face the life she had fled.

The main reason Layla was going back to work was that if she didn’t, she would lose her job. Her extended hideout in Hull had pushed her luck with management. Layla didn’t think she could push it any further, even if the thought of stepping into the office made bile rise in her throat.

But as much as Layla resented Mayweather & Halliwell, she couldn’t let her biggest, and only, achievement fall apart. Not when she’d worked so hard to get here.

As Layla watched David reach for his coat, another reason to re-enter the workforce came to mind.

If she carried on working and saved hard, she could leave her family a lump of cash in two years’ time.

Combine that with the life insurance payout OPM Discoveries would provide as a result of Layla participating in the experiment and their lives would change forever.

Maybe they could leave the estate. Maybe Maya could open her own salon like she’d always dreamed of.

The thought pushed Layla out of the house and into her dad’s car.

David let the radio do the talking as he drove to the station. Layla didn’t mind the silence, though. There was a comfort to her dad’s presence that didn’t require words. Right now, Layla needed all the comfort she could get.

It felt to Layla that they reached the station car park in no time. Seeing the imposing Victorian structure ahead, her stomach cramped.

‘Here we are, then,’ David said after a moment.

Layla knew that she should move. Or, at the very least, she should respond, but all her energy was going towards keeping it together.

‘Do you want me to walk you in?’ David offered.

Layla shook her head and glanced at the clock on the dashboard. She had fifteen minutes until her train was to depart. Fifteen minutes to calm down and go or panic and stay. The seconds were trickling away.

They’re always trickling away , Layla’s brain grumbled, but then it hit her – that was the point. That was the fact of life that no one could fight.

Time was passing. It was always, always passing. Staying still wouldn’t change that.

Reaching for her handbag, Layla made her choice.

However scary it was, she must go back to London.

She must face her life there because she did have a life there.

Whether it was one Layla wanted was for her to decide.

Improvements and changes couldn’t be made from the passenger seat of her dad’s car.

‘Thanks for the lift, Dad,’ she said, kissing David’s cheek. ‘I’ll be fine.’

‘Oh, I know you will,’ David replied.

As they shared a smile, Layla realised that she knew the words to be true. Whatever came next, wherever she decided to go from here, she would be fine. Nervous? Of course. Scared? Absolutely, but fine nonetheless. She was her father’s daughter, after all.