Page 11 of The Life Experiment

Angus drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair, then on his knee, then the chair again.

Nerves buzzed around his body. How else was he supposed to feel?

In a few minutes, he might find out he was going to die next week, or that he was going to live forever.

Angus couldn’t decide which thought tightened his chest more.

Last week, when Saira first told him the purpose of the experiment, Angus had laughed. His laughter died in his mouth when he realised she was serious.

‘Well… wow,’ was all Angus could reply in the end. Or, the only polite thing he could think to reply, anyway.

After mulling things over, Angus decided to accept his invitation to participate in the study and approach his result with an open mind. It wasn’t like there was anything else filling up his calendar. Nothing as intriguing as the experiment, at least.

While he waited for Saira to return to her office, Angus checked his phone. A text from his mother caught his eye.

Angus, your father and I are hosting a dinner on Saturday. A small get-together with the Haywell-Newtons, the Smythes and the Markingtons. Be there at seven. I mean it, Angus. Seven.

Angus sighed. There was no question or acknowledgement that he might already have plans on Saturday. Fuck, there wasn’t even a kiss at the end to suggest Gilly felt any affection for her son. Instead, the message read as a summons.

Confirming his attendance, Angus squirmed as he imagined how the night would go.

He could already hear Richard Smythe’s booming voice and feel Corinne Smythe’s roving eyes on him.

She might be a close friend of his mother’s, but that hadn’t stopped Corinne from slipping a hotel room key into Angus’s jacket pocket when he was eighteen.

And Bruno Markington and Henry Haywell-Newton… Angus shuddered. Bruno’s eldest son was an MP and Henry’s was a CEO. Next to them, Angus looked more pathetic than ever.

Sighing, Angus opened another message, this one from Jasper.

You, me, vino, tonight…?

Angus grinned as he imagined the dim lights and warming reds of his favourite wine bar.

The perfect antidote to the stress of his mother’s message, and the best way to end the day.

After all, Angus might be celebrating once he learned his death date.

That or drowning his sorrows. Either way, wine would be a welcome addition to the evening.

As Angus hit send on his reply, Saira entered the office.

Two research assistants, Greg and Isa, were with her.

Angus stood to greet them. Isa was carrying a large box so couldn’t accept the handshake, but they each said hello like Angus was an old friend.

He took that as a good sign. They wouldn’t be so cheerful if they were about to reveal he had two weeks to live, after all.

‘Angus, how are you?’ Saira asked as she took her seat.

‘Good. A little nervous.’

‘I’d be worried if you weren’t. This is a big day. Now before we proceed, I want to confirm your decision to participate in the experiment one final time. I know contracts have been signed, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t check again.’

Angus knew all too well that if he changed his mind, Saira would understand, but he didn’t want to back out. Not now he’d made it this far.

Admittedly, Angus had debated withdrawing from the study once or twice over the last few days. After all, no one wanted to think about death at the best of times, but to carry on living, knowing exactly when your time would be up… How could anyone do that?

But the longer Angus sat with the knowledge of what he could learn, the more curious he became.

The idea of knowing exactly where he was headed had wormed its way into his brain, leaving him unable to sleep.

He’d tossed and turned, wondering if he had enough time to make the changes he wanted.

If he could become the person he dreamed of being.

‘I’m all in,’ Angus confirmed for the final time.

Saira beamed. ‘Excellent! Now, before we share your results, I’d like to remind you that for the next ten weeks, you cannot tell a soul outside of OPM Discoveries what you learn today.

Breaking your contract would leave you ineligible for the benefits of this study, as well as land you with a hefty fine and potentially a lawsuit. Is that clear?’

Angus nodded. Who would he tell? Jasper wouldn’t want to ruin a good time, and emotions were practically banned in the Fairview-Whitley household.

In the end, it seemed to Angus that keeping the news to himself was going to be the easiest part of the whole process.

‘I understand,’ he confirmed.

‘Perfect!’ Saira enthused. ‘Before we hand over the results, there are some things we need to pass on for you to complete your side of the experiment.’

Taking the box from Isa, Saira pulled out a watch that looked identical to a Fitbit.

‘You must wear this watch at all times for the next ten weeks. It will track your bodily responses to everyday life. Things like your heart rate, sleep pattern, exercise habits and so on.’

Nodding, Angus slipped the watch onto his wrist. Jasper would probably ask why he wasn’t wearing a more expensive one, but Angus could tell him he was on a fitness kick. Maybe he’d even joke about the quality of Jasper’s watch. That would stop him talking.

Next, Saira handed Angus an iPad. ‘Questionnaires will be sent to you on this device. The app you will use to log responses is already downloaded, ready to go. One questionnaire will be sent in the morning, the other in the evening. Think of them as journal entries, shared directly with me. Your answers can be as short and as informal as you like, but you must complete them every day. On top of that, your answers must be honest, and they must address each question. If you’re struggling, we need to know.

If you make any lifestyle changes, tell us. Do you understand?’

Angus nodded. This part of the experiment would be harder to complete, given Angus’s penchant for late nights and lie-ins, but he’d figure something out. Maybe the experiment could finally get him into a routine.

As Angus concocted a plan to complete his questionnaires, Saira continued.

‘This tablet will also give you a direct link to video call me. If I’m unavailable, it will connect you to Isa, Greg or another senior researcher.

If you ever need to speak outside of our sessions, call.

I cannot stress that enough. What you learn may lead to negative thoughts.

You may consider self-harm or even suicide.

If anything like that crosses your mind, even for a moment, you must contact me. Is that clear?’

Angus tried to swallow, but his mouth was too dry. Life and death, that’s what this was all about. The two biggest questions humanity has: Why am I here and when will this end?

What Angus was about to discover was huge, but the aftermath of that discovery was still very much unknown. Pressing his palms against his chair, Angus prayed he was strong enough to face whatever came next.

‘I understand,’ he confirmed.

Saira continued to provide Angus with items to use throughout the experiment.

A stress ball, a pillow spray, playlists of relaxing music.

Everything he was given seemed designed to calm Angus down, which made him worry more.

Surely you would only give someone who was going to live to one hundred a round-the-world ticket and a thumbs up?

As Angus’s underarms dampened, Saira handed him an envelope with ‘Candidate 11 – Angus Fairview-Whitley’ written on it.

He gulped. ‘Is this… Is this it?’

When Saira nodded, the air thickened. No one spoke. No one breathed. They just sat, staring at the envelope.

Angus flipped it over in his hands, marvelling at how light it was. This thing with the power to smash his world in two. How easy it would be to scrunch it up and throw it in the bin, or tear it into tiny, indistinguishable pieces.

Biting his lip, Angus read his name and candidate number once more. Ten people had been before him. Ten people had sat in this chair and found out when they would die.

It was only when Angus noticed the envelope looked like it was vibrating that he realised he was shaking.

‘Take your time,’ Saira said. ‘There’s no rush. Remember, you can walk out of here, leave the envelope behind and never look back. You never need to see what’s inside.’

Angus nearly laughed. Saira made it sound so simple, but it wasn’t simple at all. Leaving the envelope wouldn’t really leave the envelope , would it? There would always be some part of Angus that yearned to know.

Temptation snapped at his heels, with fear close behind it. But fear had always been there, hadn’t it? It had stopped Angus telling Jasper no to a fourth night out in a row. It had stopped him admitting how much he was struggling. It had stopped him from trying again when he lost all that money.

But Angus didn’t want to be scared anymore. Ripping open the envelope, he pulled out the papers, ready to learn his fate.