Page 16 of The Life Experiment

The Life Experiment: Daily Questionnaire

Property of OPM Discoveries

What are two things you are grateful for today?

Cafes in Birmingham.

This questionnaire giving me something to do. I would have been watching Netflix until I hit the gym with Jasper later otherwise.

What are you struggling with today?

The fact that I met someone incredible the other day, but can’t contact her yet

Do you have any additional notes on what you would like to discuss in your upcoming counselling session?

No

The Pinot Noir slid smoothly down Angus’s throat.

His fourth glass of the night was no doubt staining his teeth, but boy was it needed.

His parents’ dinner party was as tedious as Angus had predicted.

More so, in fact. Richard Smythe seemed intent on making sure his voice was heard in all four corners of the room.

Imagining another sixty years of events like this made Angus want to reach for the the bottle of wine and down the rest of it.

As her husband recounted a tale of his accountant’s canny ability to cut his tax bill to criminal levels, Corinne caught Angus’s eye. Her pencilled eyebrow kinked suggestively. Angus found himself turning to Bruno beside him before he could see the wink that would follow.

‘So,’ he said. ‘How is the family?’

If Bruno was surprised at his friend’s usually reserved son making conversation, he didn’t show it.

Dabbing his mouth with the corner of a napkin, Bruno nodded.

‘They’re good, Angus. Tabitha’s wedding plans are coming along nicely, and Phineas is making a name for himself in parliament.

Have I told you he looks set to run for a second term? ’

‘You must be proud,’ Angus replied, cursing himself for inviting the conversation. With talk of Phineas’s success, it would only be a matter of time before Bruno swung the focus onto Angus.

Although Bruno was one of Peter’s friends that Angus liked, he still didn’t trust his questions. Not when Angus knew he was considered the measuring stick of failure among his parents’ friends.

At least our little darling hasn’t been as big a disappointment as the Fairview-Whitley boy , Angus imagined people saying. All that money and opportunity, yet he’s done nothing. Gilly and Peter must be awfully ashamed.

If only Hugo were still around , their counterpart would add. He knew where he was headed. Angus is as lost as they come.

Excusing himself from the table, Angus headed to the nearest bathroom. There, he splashed his face with cold water to drown out the worst of his derision.

But as he closed his eyes, Angus was greeted with a vision of Layla’s wry smile. Instantly, his heart pounded. Opening his eyes, Angus levelled his gaze at his reflection. When he was with Layla, it hadn’t mattered that he wasn’t Hugo. All that mattered was that Angus was himself.

In that moment, all Angus wanted to do was leave and find her. Talk to her. Check she was doing better than when they met. Anything, as long as it meant being around her.

Reaching into his pocket, Angus pulled out his phone and found Layla in his contacts.

As it had done many times over the last few days, Angus’s thumb travelled to the call button.

He itched to pull the trigger. Something inside him said Layla would be happy to hear his voice.

Maybe even laugh and say, ‘What took you so long?’

But another part of Angus warned that calling now was not what had been asked of him. For the first time in his life, Angus wanted to follow the rules. No shortcuts or steamrolling ahead because his surname allowed it, even if the wait killed him.

Sliding the phone back into his pocket, Angus looked at his reflection again just as someone knocked on the bathroom door. Panic struck, imagining Corinne leaving the table to proposition him, but when a familiar voice called his name, Angus relaxed. Slightly, at least.

‘Angus, what are you doing in there?’ Gilly asked from the other side of the door.

Jolting, Angus emerged from the bathroom in such a rush he almost collided with his mother. Gilly stepped back, resting her hand on her bony chest.

‘Why the haste?’ she asked.

‘You sounded like you needed to get inside,’ he replied, but the comment made Gilly’s nostrils flare.

‘I don’t need the bathroom, Angus, and for goodness’ sake don’t be so loud when you say things like that. I came to see where you were. You practically ran from the table as if you were being chased.’

‘I needed the toilet,’ Angus replied.

Gilly saw straight through the lie.

‘Did Bruno say something to upset you?’

‘No, nothing.’

‘Are you sure?’ Gilly pushed. ‘He’s not known for his tact. And he’s forever showing off about his idiot son, like we’ve all forgotten how Phineas streaked across the lawn at the Barrington summer social.’

As Gilly sniffed in disapproval, Angus wilted. If the tame partying days of Phineas Markington made his mother shudder, then Angus dreaded to think what she said about him.

‘We should get back to your guests,’ he said stiffly. ‘I know you hate to keep people waiting.’

The pair ventured through the house in silence, their bodies inches apart until the dining room was in sight. Only then did Gilly slip her slender arm through Angus’s. ‘Smile, dear,’ she said, before stepping them both back into the spotlight.

‘There you are! We were about to call a search party,’ Peter joked, standing to pull back Gilly’s chair.

Letting go of Angus, Gilly slid silkily to her husband’s side. Her hand graced Peter’s arm in thanks, a tender smile shared between them.

Again, Angus thought of Layla, and he lost the ability to think straight.

‘Angus chatting to you about another business venture, eh?’ Richard boomed before polishing off the rest of his drink. ‘You want to be careful after last time.’

The joke landed with a thud, but Angus was too numb to register its impact. All he wanted was to head back to the bathroom and barricade himself from the world.

‘Richard, behave,’ Corinne said, giggling nervously.

It was only upon seeing his wife’s panic that Richard realised his faux pas. His already red cheeks flushed. ‘What a silly comment,’ he blustered. ‘Ignore me. Too much wine!’

‘Actually, we weren’t discussing business,’ Gilly retorted, piercing Richard with an icy glare that sobered him up in an instant. ‘But Angus did mention that he hadn’t seen Penelope for a while. Tell me, is she still in Italy?’

The sip of water Gilly took after her question was delicate, but her eyes sparkled with the knowledge that she was touching a nerve. As Richard became flustered and Corinne burned with silent indignation, Angus felt the atmosphere swell.

‘She’s having a lovely time,’ Richard muttered, reaching for his empty wineglass.

‘How wonderful. Perhaps you could ask her to send me a postcard? I’d love to hear about her travels,’ Gilly pushed, but it was a prod too far for Peter.

Rising to his feet, he clapped his hands to signal the end of the conversation. ‘I’m sure Penelope is having a lovely time. Now, shall I see about asking Ms Tillman to fetch dessert?’

The table murmured in agreement, but Angus stayed silent.

He caught his mother’s gaze, flinching at her smug delight.

Sure, Gilly had rescued him from public ridicule, but only by highlighting another family’s shame.

Everyone knew that Penelope Smythe wasn’t touring Italy; she was in rehab in Kensington.

The partying that had been funny when she was eighteen wasn’t met with the same affectionate eye-roll now that she was twenty-eight.

After stealing and crashing Richard’s Bentley while high on a cocktail of drugs that would have killed most people, Penelope’s family’s patience had finally snapped.

And there Gilly was, using that pain as a weapon. Slicing someone else down to make Angus seem tall. Pushing his plate away, Angus’s shame deepened. He should be used to how it felt by now, but it crushed his chest until every day felt impossible.

At least, it had until the moment he sat opposite Layla.

For the umpteenth time that night, Angus’s mind wandered to Layla and the sparks that flew during their brief conversation.

Stripped of all pretension, it was the most honest interaction he had experienced in recent memory.

He craved another hit. Another moment where Layla’s smile made time stand still.