Page 25 of The Hookup (Firsts and Forever #13)

When he let go of me and stepped back, there were tears in his eyes. He quickly dabbed them away and smiled at me. Then he tossed the backpack under his worktable and dropped the makeshift curtain.

“You don’t have to hide that anymore,” I said.

“Force of habit. Besides, what if someone from our program happened to drop by? It’d be a bummer to get caught on my last day of super-secret studio squatting.” I grinned at the name, and he said, “Okay, enough about my crap. I want to hear about your week off with your sexy cowboy. How was it?”

“So great.” I told him about Ryder and the ranch and all the animals, and then I said, “But now I need to get to work on my collection, because I’m totally behind. I guess I need to go with those Japanese-modern designs I sketched at the start of the school year.”

“The sketches you showed me were pretty, and since you’re half-Japanese, it’s cool that you’re tapping into your heritage.”

“I just wish I was more excited about it. But I haven’t had any other ideas, so I guess it’s better than nothing. I also wish it was more creative and original, because that’s what brings in the best job offers.”

“I decided not to worry about trying to land a job with my collection,” Kit said.

“I fell in love with this field by working freelance and designing costumes for drag queens, and that’s how I want to make a living.

So, this final collection is going to be big, bold, and totally over the top, because that’s what makes me happy. ”

“I admire you for following your heart.”

“It might be a huge mistake. We both know the year-end fashion show is heavily scouted, and a few years from now, maybe I’ll regret missing my chance at a good job. But it feels wrong to do anything but this.”

He gestured at a very elaborate red gown on one of his dress forms, and I said, “Your collection is going to be spectacular.”

“I hope so. It’ll be fun for sure. My models are all local drag queens, and I know they’re going to bring the sparkle.”

“That’s so cool! Do you do drag?”

“No way. The idea of performing terrifies me.”

We chatted for a few more minutes, and then he said, “They’re about to start serving breakfast in the cafeteria. Want to come with me and get something to eat?” When I declined, he told me he’d be back soon and hurried out the door.

After I checked the time to make sure I wouldn’t be waking them up, I texted my landladies.

I told them about Kit’s situation and asked if he could stay in my room with me until he got on his feet, and they readily agreed.

I knew they would. They were incredibly kind people who’d never turn down someone in need.

Then a thought occurred to me. I video-called Ryder and got right to the point by asking, “Are you the jealous type? Because I just invited a cute gay guy to move into my room with me.”

“I assume you’re talking about Kit. Does that mean he really was living in the studio?”

“Yeah, since the school year started in September. I had no idea.”

“That poor guy. I’m glad you’re helping him out.”

“So, you’re okay with this?”

“Of course. I trust you completely, Hal.”

That was huge. We’d both been left with trust issues after our last relationships ended, so I knew he didn’t say it lightly.

“Just so you know, I trust you, too.”

Hearing that was a big deal to him, just like it had been for me. I saw it in his eyes when he smiled and said, “Thanks for saying that.”

After class, I helped Kit pack a few of his things. He had to move his stuff out gradually, so it didn’t attract attention and tip off anyone that he’d been living there. We rode the bus across town, and when he saw the pink Victorian, he whispered, “It’s so beautiful.”

JoJo greeted us in the foyer, and after I introduced her to Kit she told me, “I talked to Embry. He officially moved out, so Kit can have his room.”

I blurted, “Oh wow, really?”

She nodded. “I knew he and Bryson were going to hit it off, and that they’d want to stay together. He came by after I called him, and I helped him pack up his stuff. Since the room is fully furnished, you should be all set, Kit.”

He looked concerned. “I can’t afford my own room.”

“Don’t worry about that,” she said. “My wife and I talked about it, and we’re giving you the student special.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s free rent for the next few months, to give you time to graduate and find a job. After that, we can negotiate your rent.”

Now he seemed stunned. “But you don’t know me at all. Why would you do that?”

“Because you’re a friend of Hal’s, and Hal is a member of our family. Each of us has needed a little help at some point in our lives, and now it’s our turn to pay it forward. Later on, when you’re in a position to help someone else, I hope you’ll do the same.”

“I will, for sure.” He grabbed her in a hug and murmured, “Thank you so much, JoJo. This means everything to me.” There were tears in his eyes when he followed me upstairs.

“This is your room. I’m right there, and the room next to mine belongs to a sweet couple named Lark and Dylan,” I said, as I pointed to the doors around the second-floor landing. “My friend Vee has the fourth bedroom, and that’s the bathroom we all share.”

“Where do our landladies live?”

“JoJo and Yolanda’s bedroom is on the ground floor. Yolanda is a nurse, and she’s at work right now. You’ll get to meet her and everyone else later tonight.”

Kit’s bedroom was on the small side, and the furniture had seen better days, but he looked around like he was in awe. “It’s so nice,” he whispered. “I can’t believe all of this is mine.”

I put down the bag I’d been carrying for him and said, “I see JoJo left some bed linens for you. If there’s anything else you need, just let me know. I’ll let you get settled, and if you want to have dinner with me, come downstairs at seven.”

He looked a little lost as he turned to me and asked, “Are you going to be in your room? You know, in case I have any questions.”

“Actually, I think I’m going to sit in the backyard for a while. If you want to join me after you unpack, go downstairs and follow the hallway to the back of the house. You’ll see the door to the yard once you’re in the kitchen.”

“Okay. Thanks, Hal.”

I dropped my messenger bag in my room before heading downstairs. About two minutes after I took a seat at the firepit in the backyard, Logan stepped out the back door of his house. He was carrying two travel mugs and some sort of bundle, which turned out to be a manufactured fireplace log.

He handed me both mugs and said, “Hold my coffee while I act super butch and start a fire.”

That was hilarious, because all it involved was pulling a lighter from his pocket and holding it to the wrapper the log came in. I told him, “You’re so outdoorsy,” as the wrapper caught fire.

“I know. I hope you’re impressed.”

“Oh, I am.” He sat down beside me, and I handed him one of the mugs and said, “Thanks for the coffee and the log.”

“There’s a sentence I don’t hear every day, and you’re welcome.

I saw you sitting back here, so I came to check on you.

It must have been an odd day, between trying to acclimate back to reality and getting a brand-new literal roommate.

” He’d messaged me earlier that afternoon, and I’d told him about Kit.

“The new guy’s been downgraded from roommate to housemate. Embry made it official—he’s staying with Bryson, so he gave up his room for Kit.”

“I knew Embry and Bryson were going to end up as a real couple, despite the fake marriage.”

“Me, too. There was always something between them, even when we thought Bryson was straight.”

Logan took a sip of coffee before saying, “I guess I thought it would take them longer to figure it out, though.”

“Well, when it’s right, it’s right. And really, what’s standing in their way? Nothing. They’re even already living under the same roof.” I muttered, “Must be nice,” which made Logan turn sideways in his chair, so he could look at me.

“I knew it!”

“Knew what?”

“That you’re pining for Ryder. When I picked you up at the airport yesterday, you tried to act like you were fine. But you were just doing that Hal thing, weren’t you?”

I frowned and asked, “What Hal thing?”

“You have a habit of compartmentalizing your emotions and locking them away. The more upset you are about something, the more stoic you become.”

“That can’t be true. I feel like I’m way too emotional, and that they spill out all the time.”

“You definitely show emotions,” Logan said. “But not with big things, that’s my point. Exhibit A is when you came to live with me after your ex cheated on you. Even though you were completely devastated, you didn’t shed a single tear. Instead, you threw yourself into work and school.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

He shrugged. “Yes and no. It’s awesome that you let it motivate you to pursue the life and the career you wanted.

At the same time though, I’ve always worried about what bottling up so many feelings might do to you.

They don’t really go away, you know? They just get tamped down.

You can shut the lid on them for a while, but what happens when it gets to be too much and that lid flies open? ”

If this was coming from anyone else, I probably would have dismissed it, because I didn’t see a problem. But Logan knew me better than anyone. He’d been my best friend since we were fourteen years old, so maybe he even knew me better than I knew myself.

I asked, “Why are you bringing this up now?”

“Because you’re shutting down how you feel about Ryder, which tells me this is big. You’re crazy about him, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” I said softly, “I really am.”

“So, what are you going to do about it?”

“For now, there’s not much I can do. I need to get through school and my internship, and close that chapter of my life. I’m planning to go back to Texas and spend more time with Ryder as soon as I finish this semester, and hopefully we’ll be able to figure out where we go from there.”

“If he says he wants a committed relationship, do you think you’ll be ready for that? I know it must be scary to put yourself out there and let yourself be vulnerable again, after what your ex did to you.”

“I’m already committed to him, even if we haven’t made anything official. And you’re right that I was scared to try again, but this is Ryder we’re talking about. He makes it easy, because I trust him, and I know he’d never hurt me.”

Logan beamed at me. “I’m so happy you found someone you can trust, after all you’ve been through.”

Just then, Kit stepped through the back door, bundled in a bulky purple sweater that was three sizes too big for him. He raised a hand in greeting and asked, “Mind if I join you? The fire looks cozy.”

“Absolutely.” When he took a seat across from us, I said, “Kit, meet my best friend Logan. He’s Lark’s brother, who you haven’t met yet, and he used to live in the pink Victorian. Now he lives there, with his husband and son.” I pointed to the smaller, white house at the other end of the yard.

They exchanged greetings, and then Kit asked, “Were you two talking about Hal’s cowboy?” When I nodded, he said, “I’m sorry if this is too nosy, but I’m curious. What do you and Ryder find to talk about? It just doesn’t seem like you and a guy who lives on a ranch would have much in common.”

“We have very different lives, but somehow that’s a plus, because we learn from each other,” I said.

“Believe it or not, he’s legitimately interested when I talk about fashion design or show him my sketches, because he knows it’s important to me.

He asks questions and makes a real effort to understand what I’m doing.

I’m the same way when he talks about his horses. ”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Kit said.

“You know what, though? I’ve started to realize he and I really aren’t all that different, deep down.

For one thing, we both grew up fast. Somehow, fourteen was a pivotal age for each of us.

That’s when I started my modeling career.

It’s also when he moved in with his grandparents and took on a lot of the work involved in keeping the ranch up and running.

That much responsibility at a young age changes you. ”

Kit nodded. “I can see that.”

Before I could give another example, my phone rang. Ryder’s name was on the screen, which made me smile. I answered the video call with, “Hi, sexy. I was just talking about you.”

My companions got up immediately, but I told them, “You don’t have to leave.”

“You should have some alone time with your honey,” Kit said.

Logan turned to Kit and gestured at the pink Victorian. “Let’s go inside. I’ll show you a few tips and tricks for living here. For one thing, there’s a whole series of steps to get the washing machine to work. The last step is bumping it with your hip.”

“We fixed that since you moved out,” I called after them. “Now the last step is just pounding on it with your fist.”

Once they were gone, I turned my attention back to the screen, and Ryder smiled at me and said, “Hi, baby. Where are you?”

“My backyard. I’m trying to recapture the feeling of being at the ranch. Thanks to Logan, there’s even a fire of sorts.”

I panned the phone to show him the fire pit, and he asked, “Why is the fire blue?”

“It’s one of those manufactured logs. I assume it burns in color because it’s laced with chemicals.”

“I’m mildly horrified.”

“As expected.”

“So, what were you saying about me?” He looked amused.

“Nothing too personal. I was just passing around your dick pic and asking my friends to rate you on a scale of meh to hallelujah.”

He chuckled at that. “Good thing I’ve never actually sent you any dick pics.”

“If you had, you’d get hallelujahs across the board.”

“Thanks for the compliment. I’m sorry to chase off your friends, though. I should have waited until later to call.”

There was something in his voice that made me ask, “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just wanted to see you and hear your voice.” After a pause, he said softly, “I’m trying to remember how to live without you.” I knew exactly what he meant.