Page 15 of The Hookup (Firsts and Forever #13)

Ryder

“You’re getting carried away,” Tank told me. “I know you want everything to be nice for Hal’s visit, but he’s not going to look under your fridge. There’s no reason to clean under there.”

“Help me move it anyway.”

My friend frowned, but he got up from my kitchen table and did as I asked.

Between the two of us, we were able to step it forward a few feet.

The fridge was a solidly built behemoth that was an unfortunate dark yellow color called “goldenrod.” It was two decades older than me, and I was convinced it would outlive us all.

As I swept up the dust bunnies and dog hair we’d revealed, Tank asked, “What exactly are you hoping for here, that Hal decides to stay forever when he sees how sparkling clean this place is?”

I went to the sink to fill my mop bucket. “Of course not. I always clean before I have company. If I’m doing extra, that’s just because this place needed a good spring cleaning.”

“It’s more than that. You seem nervous.”

“Maybe I am, a little. I really want him to be happy and comfortable here, and I want him to have a good time. He desperately needs a break, because he’s been so busy. Now that he finally has a week off, he’s chosen to spend it here, with me. I don’t want him to regret that decision.”

“Yeah, I get all of that,” Tank said, as I ran my mop over the patch of linoleum.

“But is some part of you looking at this as a test run? You and Hal can’t keep the long-distance thing going forever, and you and your menagerie aren’t moving to San Francisco any time soon.

So, the only way you two can be together is if he becomes so enamored of this place that he decides to move in. ”

“There’s no way he’d ever do that. Even if he claimed he wanted to, I’d talk him out of it. He’d be throwing away the career he’s working really hard for, not to mention leaving behind all of his friends, who are like a family to him.”

“You’re making excuses.”

I stuck the mop in the bucket and turned to him with a frown. “I’m being realistic.”

Tank ignored that and said, “Here’s what I find confusing.

We both know you really care about Hal, which is why you couldn’t leave it as a Vegas fling.

Then you couldn’t just leave it as a friendship.

Now you two have been long-distance dating for the last couple of months, but that’s got to evolve, too. ”

My frown deepened. “Does it?”

“Yes, because you’re you ! There are people who can casually date and leave it at that, but you’ve always been a relationship kind of guy.

As far as you’re concerned, dating leads to commitment and eventually, marriage.

There’s always been that end goal, every time you’ve gotten involved with someone.

But, as you just explained, this thing with Hal will never end up there. It can’t, logistically speaking.”

He leaned against my kitchen table and studied me as he continued, “So, it leaves me wondering. Did you get involved with Hal because you know—consciously or subconsciously— that it can’t turn into something serious?”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because your last relationship broke you, and now you’re afraid to try again.”

“You’re overthinking this.” I tossed an old towel onto the floor and used my foot to slide it around and soak up the wetness. “I’ve only known Hal for four months, and we’ve been dating for half that time. It’s early days, and way too soon to worry about the future.”

“I know you’ve thought about it, though. You’re that type of guy. You plan ahead. You?—”

I cut him off with, “I’m trying really hard to just live in the moment.”

“How’s that working out?”

I sighed before admitting, “Okay, yes, I do think about where this is going, and no, I don’t know how we’ll make it work long-term.

But I like him so much, Tank. I really, really fucking like him, and I want him in my life, even if all we can do is text and video call, with an occasional visit whenever we can manage it.

I don’t have any answers for the rest of it, or the first clue about what’s going to happen down the road.

I’m not going to let that uncertainty keep me from enjoying this though, and appreciating every moment we have together. ”

“And that’s great! As long as you don’t get hurt, I’m all for it.”

“I’ll be fine. Now, help me move the fridge back in place. I need to take a shower and get to the airport.”

Tank reminded me, “Hal’s flight is set to arrive in just under four hours, and it’s about a ninety-minute drive to the airport.”

“Right, but I don’t want to cut it close.” Now it was my friend’s turn to sigh.

While Tank enjoyed a few beers on the front porch, I took my time showering and going through my admittedly basic grooming routine. Then I checked my reflection in the mirror and frowned.

I’d gone to the barbershop in town earlier in the week for a haircut and a beard trim, the same place I’d gone since I was a teenager. While I was there, the barber casually mentioned I was starting to go gray at my temples. I hadn’t even noticed. Now it was all I saw.

I wasn’t vain, far from it. But that hit me harder than it should have, maybe because I was dating an exceptionally attractive younger man.

Okay, so Hal was only six years younger than me, and a touch of gray hardly meant I was old.

It wasn’t like he’d be put off by it. It still made me slightly self-conscious, though.

Not that this was the time to get bent out of shape about something like that.

I left my bathroom and got dressed in my best pair of jeans, a dark blue button-down shirt, and my nicest pair of cowboy boots.

I planned to take Hal out to dinner this evening, so I wanted to look good.

I also wanted him to know not every shirt I owned was plaid.

I rolled back my sleeves as I went into the living room, and then I paused and looked around.

This was the original part of the house, which dated back to the late eighteen-hundreds.

My grandparents and great-grandparents before them had added on over the decades, always in the style of the time.

Walking toward the back of the house was like traveling in a time machine, finally ending up in the 1970s when you reached the kitchen.

When I inherited this place, I’d tried to freshen it up a bit and make it more “me.” Of course, my grandmother’s cheerful impressionist-style paintings of landscapes and flowers still graced the walls.

It wouldn’t feel like home without them.

But I’d painted the living room walls a nice light blue, refinished the hardwood floors, and added new area rugs.

I’d also bought an absolutely enormous navy-blue sectional sofa, a giant TV, and a big, square coffee table, for when the team came over to watch sports.

That stuff took up most of the living room.

As I assessed my decorating choices with a critical eye, it occurred to me that my furniture had added yet another decade to the house.

I wasn’t sure which decade that was, exactly, but it probably wasn’t this one.

And okay, maybe the huge couch and TV were an odd contrast to the living room’s period details.

I loved this place and it suited me perfectly, but it definitely wasn’t stylish.

Hal was though, so I had to wonder what he’d think of it.

While I contemplated all of this, my four dogs sat in a row, totally alert and watching me closely.

They sensed something was up. I’d brushed and bathed each of them this afternoon, so they were perfectly clean, but that was usually short-lived.

“Please don’t get dirty while I’m gone,” I told them.

“And mind your Uncle Tank. He’s hanging out with you while I go into town for a few hours. ”

I tended to talk to all of my animals like they were people. Maybe that was because I spent a lot of time on my own, and it was the closest I could come to a conversation.

When I stepped out onto the front porch, I discovered Jeff the donkey was keeping Tank company. “Don’t let Jeff in the house while I’m gone,” I said.

“Now, would I do that?”

“Yes. Specifically, I think you’d prank me by dressing him in lingerie and locking him in my bedroom for Hal to discover.”

Tank burst out laughing. “Dang it, I wish I’d thought of that. I wonder where I can get some donkey-sized lingerie on short notice.”

“I know how much you love a practical joke, but I’m begging you, give it a rest while Hal is here. I don’t want you to freak him out.”

His eyes went wide as he tried to look innocent. “Hey, I’m all about helping you make his visit the best it can be. You can count on me, bro.”

He was fighting a smile, which made me nervous. “You already did something, didn’t you? Fess up, what is it?”

“You’re so suspicious!”

That wasn’t a no, but it wasn’t like he was going to confess to whatever was currently lying in wait for me. “I’m gonna head out,” I said, “and I’m not sure what time we’ll be back. It all depends on whether or not Hal feels like going to a club after dinner.”

“No hurry. I’ve got everything under control.”

“I know you do. The dogs are clean, by the way, so please don’t let them roll in anything while I’m gone. And don’t let them guilt you into giving them a bunch of people food when you eat dinner. Sally’s got a sensitive stomach, and I want this to be a barf-free zone.”

“You act like I’ve never watched them before. I’ve got this! Now, go get your man.”

“I’m going. Thanks for your help, Tank.”

“Any time.”

I jogged down the stairs and circled around to the side of the house, where my old pickup truck was parked. I’d washed it and vacuumed it out for Hal’s visit, but it wasn’t the most attractive thing in the world. It had originally been light blue, but now at least half of it was rust colored.