Page 22 of The Hookup (Firsts and Forever #13)

Ryder

Hal’s visit flew by, and before we knew it, it was his last full day in Texas. It had been an incredible week. Both of us were sad that it was coming to an end, but we tried not to let that color the time we had left.

That afternoon, we spent hours naked in bed, followed by soaking together in my big, claw-footed bathtub.

After we got dressed, we moved to the kitchen.

I’d promised to show him how to make tamales, using the recipe and techniques my grandmother had taught me.

Somehow, we hadn’t gotten to it earlier in the week, so this was our last chance.

It was a pretty straightforward but time-consuming process.

We made two different types of filling and soaked the corn husks, and then I showed him how to prepare the masa.

That was the tricky part. I slowly added the broth I’d made ahead of time, until the dough felt right and didn’t stick to our hands.

Once that was done, I turned on a classic rock radio station in the background, and we took a seat at the kitchen table with a couple of beers and got to work.

It took a little practice to press an even layer of the masa onto the husk, add the right amount of filling, and fold each tamale into a tidy packet, but Hal picked it up quickly. Pretty soon, he was matching my pace.

I kept glancing at him while we worked, and I couldn’t help but grin. He was so serious about this. His brow was knit in concentration, and he tried so hard to make each tamale as perfect as he possibly could.

It was such a simple thing, just getting to spend this quiet evening with Hal around my kitchen table, sharing my family tradition, talking, being together. But it meant so much to me, more than I could ever hope to explain.

I wanted to remember this forever, along with so many other beautiful moments, from making love on our bed in the field to waking up beside him each morning.

There were countless little details to remember too, like the way he smiled right before he made a winning move and beat me at checkers.

The way he danced around the kitchen when we were washing dishes and a song he liked came on the radio.

The tiny freckles on his nose that became visible after a day in the sun.

I was going to miss Hal so much that I didn’t know what to do with it all.

How could I possibly go back to my lonely existence, now that I’d gotten a taste of life with Hal by my side? How was I going to get through each day when this sweet, gorgeous, wonderful man was half a continent away?

It was too painful to think about, so I shifted my focus to the task at hand. After a while, Hal glanced at me and asked, with a teasing note in his voice, “Is there a number we’re shooting for here, and is it less than a thousand?”

“The plan is to keep going until the masa runs out. I always make a ton,” I explained.

“That’s how Gran used to do it. She always said if she was going to go to all this trouble, she wanted something to show for it.

They keep really well in the freezer, and I’ll be sure to save some for your next visit. ”

“Which reminds me, I’ve been thinking about when I can come here again.

” A strand of hair had escaped from his ponytail, and he pushed it out of his eyes with the back of his hand.

“Does mid-June work for you? It might be my last chance for a while. If I manage to get a job right after graduation, I can probably come here before it starts. Otherwise, I’m not sure how long it’ll be before I’m able to take time off. ”

“That definitely works,” I said. “I want to come to San Francisco for your graduation ceremony, so maybe we can fly back together afterwards.”

“Actually, I’m not planning to attend the ceremony.”

“Why not?”

“Because my parents aren’t coming, so it would be too depressing.”

“Why aren’t they coming?”

“When I invited them, they said they were going to be too busy with work.” His voice wavered, and he cleared his throat before continuing.

“My mom just got a promotion, and I guess the company where my dad works is really starting to take off, so they said June wouldn’t be a good time for a trip to the US. ”

“Seriously?”

“I got the impression things might be different if I’d made better choices.”

“What does that mean?”

He shrugged and began fidgeting with a corn husk.

“If I was graduating with, let’s say, an MBA from Stanford, that would mean something to them.

I bet they’d show up for that. This is something else entirely.

They’ve always thought a career in fashion design was unrealistic, and that pursuing this degree was a waste of time and money.

Maybe they want to drive that point home by skipping my graduation.

Like, if they actually showed up for it, that might be taken as an endorsement of all my bad ideas. ”

That was infuriating. I would have loved to call his parents and tell them off. But this was obviously upsetting for Hal, and ranting about how much his parents sucked wasn’t going to help him feel better.

I made myself take a breath before saying, “You should go to the ceremony anyway. This is a big accomplishment, and you deserve to be celebrated. If I’m there, along with your best friend Logan, and all your housemates?—”

“I’ve already decided,” he said quietly.

“It would hurt too much to see my classmates with their parents, knowing mine weren’t there by choice.

But this is a good thing. It means I can come here right after the student fashion show.

That’s a week sooner than it would have been if I stayed for the graduation ceremony. ”

As much as I wanted to fix this for him and make his graduation a happy occasion, his mind was made up. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”

He changed the subject with, “Is that first batch of tamales done steaming? I’m starving, and we just ran out of masa.”

“It should be. Let me check.”

I got up and used a pair of tongs to grab a tamale out of the huge pot on the stove. Sure enough, it was cooked through, so I piled a few onto two plates. Meanwhile, he cleared off the table and grabbed two more beers from the fridge.

The first batch of tamales had a filling of roasted green chiles and cheese. He unwrapped one and broke it open, letting it cool slightly before taking a bite. I waited for the verdict and was thrilled when he murmured, “Oh wow, it’s absolutely delicious.”

We lingered over dinner, and then he helped me clean up before the two of us headed to the porch. This had become our nightly ritual. We grabbed Hal’s favorite fluffy throw blanket along the way, and all the dogs followed us as we stepped outside.

I took a seat, and Hal climbed onto my lap and draped the blanket over both of us. After a while, he said softly, “It’s going to be tough to try to step back into my regular life after this.”

“It will for me, too.”

“This is your regular life.”

“No, it’s not,” I said. “It’s completely different, because you’re here.”

He kissed me before whispering, “I hope June gets here really fast.”

The next morning, both of us were quiet on the drive back to the airport.

Hal kept fidgeting with the hem of his cardigan while staring out the window.

He’d been really emotional when he went around and said goodbye to the dogs, and Jeff, and all the animals he’d bonded with before we left the ranch.

I knew he was struggling to hold it together. I was, too.

There was no way I was going to drop him off at the curb with a rushed goodbye, so I parked when we arrived at the airport. I clutched his hand, and we each towed one of his big suitcases behind us on our way to the terminal.

Once we were inside the building, he turned to me with tears in his eyes and whispered, “I don’t want to go.”

I drew him into an embrace, and he clutched me and tucked his head under my chin.

“I don’t want you to go, either.” That wasn’t what he needed from me though, so I added, “But you need to go back, finish school, and kick ass. You’re in the home stretch now, just ten more weeks. I know you’re going to crush it.”

“Thanks for believing in me. And thank you for everything over these past few days. You made my visit so special.” His voice broke on that last part, and I held him tighter. After a moment, he whispered, “There’s a lot more I want to say, but if I try, I’m going to lose it.”

“I know. Me, too.”

He grasped my face between his palms and kissed me before stepping back.

Tears shone in his eyes, but he smiled and tried to lighten the mood by saying, “I have a confession. I stole your T-shirt—the University of Texas one you slept in last night. I wanted something that smelled like you. But fair is fair, so I left something for you in return.”

“You’re welcome to it.” That was my favorite shirt to sleep in, but I would have given him anything in that moment.

“I’ll text you when my plane lands, and I’ll call you tonight.” I nodded, and he gave me the most wistful look before turning and starting to make his way to the check-in counter with his luggage.

A million emotions rose up in me. It was totally overwhelming. I called his name, and he turned back to me. I wanted to fall to my knees and beg him to stay.

Instead, I jogged over to him, pulled him close, and pressed my lips to his. The kiss was passionate and laced with need. I hoped it told him all of the things I couldn’t find the words to say. The kiss I got in return was just as urgent, just as full of longing.

When we stepped back, I tried to smile as I said, “Until next time.” He touched my cheek with some sort of strong emotion in his eyes. Then he went to check in for his flight, and I left the terminal.

I sat in my truck for a few minutes with my eyes pressed shut, fighting to keep it together. Finally, I left the airport and drove to Tank’s condo.