Page 10 of The Hookup (Firsts and Forever #13)

Hal

When I got back home on Sunday afternoon, I changed into a comfortable, oversized sweater and leggings, made a blanket nest on my bed, and called Logan. He answered with, “Hey, where are you?”

“I got home a few minutes ago.”

“How’d it go?”

“The wedding went off without a hitch. As soon as we got back, Embry packed up his dog and some of his stuff and moved in with Bryson, so phase two of the fake marriage is underway. The two of them really seem to be hitting it off, which is good . ”

“Glad to hear it. Did you have fun?”

“I had an incredible time, thanks to a handsome cowboy from Texas named Ryder.”

“Interesting,” Logan said. “I’ve never known you to be into that type of guy, but he sounds perfect for a Vegas fling.”

When I heard his son shouting enthusiastically in the background, I asked, “What are you guys up to?”

“We’re on a walk. Owen just spotted a cat, and Lucky’s trying to keep him from abducting it and bringing it home with us.”

“I should let you go.”

“Okay, but let’s talk soon. I want to hear all about your cowboy.”

Once we ended the call, I burrowed deeper into my blanket nest and stared at the phone in my hand. I’d planned to ask Logan’s opinion on whether it was too soon to message Ryder, but I didn’t want to cut into his family time.

That left me to debate the pros and cons on my own. On one hand, I didn’t want to seem needy. But then again, I wanted Ryder to know I was thinking about him, and that I was serious about keeping in touch.

While I was debating, a text from Ryder popped up. That put a huge smile on my face. It said: Hey. I was just thinking about you and wanted to see if you got home okay.

I replied: I was just thinking about you, too. I’m home and all is well. Where are you?

At the airport. My flight leaves in about an hour.

I asked him to message me when he got home, and he promised he would. Now I had something to look forward to.

It was nearly nine when he messaged me again, which would make it eleven p.m. where he was. Just got home. The ranch is still standing and all the animals are fine, which is a relief.

I replied: Was there any question?

No, not really. My employee was holding down the fort, and he’s perfectly reliable. I just worry when I’m not here.

Ryder asked if it would be okay to video-call me, and when I agreed, a call popped up immediately. His handsome face filled my screen when I answered, and he smiled at me and said, “Hi there.” That was followed by a braying sound off in the distance.

“What was that?”

“Jeff is mad because I wouldn’t let him out of the stable when I got home. During the day he roams free, but at night I have to lock him in to keep him safe.”

“Safe from what?”

“All kinds of things—coyotes, mountain lions, skunks. There’s nothin’ cute about a donkey that reeks of skunk spray. It’s happened twice, and I’d love it if we didn’t experience that a third time. Mostly though, he’s in there to keep him safe from his own bad ideas.”

“When it’s light out, I’d love to meet Jeff and the rest of your animals.”

That made him smile. “I’ll happily give you the full tour.

For now, you can meet the wolf pack.” He angled the camera toward his feet, where four sleeping dogs were clustered.

“They’re being a little clingy since I was gone for four and a half days.

Normally, a couple of them would be across the room on the couch. ”

“They’re not exactly what would come to mind if someone told me to picture a group of ranch dogs.” There was a basset hound, a chihuahua, a long, skinny greyhound, and some kind of little, brown puffball.

“I know. They’re all rescues that came to me in various ways, but you should see them when they team up. It’s pretty great.”

“You sound like a proud papa.”

“I am. Where are you right now? It looks like a workshop.”

I panned the phone around to show him my surroundings. “This is my bedroom. I have a shared studio on campus, but I do a lot of work from home.”

“So I see.” He shifted a bit, in a way that made me think he was tucking his feet under him, and said, “You know, you left me with an unanswered question last night.”

“Did I?”

He nodded, with a little smile playing around his lips. “I asked why you always wear black, and you said you’d tell me later. But then we fell asleep and didn’t get to continue our conversation.”

“Oh, that’s right. I always wear black because to me, it’s a mark of success.

” I leaned against the wall beside my bed and pulled a blanket over my legs as I explained, “When I started modeling at fourteen, I still dressed like a kid. I’d wear T-shirts with cartoon characters on them, along with baggy jeans and hoodies.

But then, all of a sudden, I found myself in the world of high fashion. ”

“That must have been strange.”

“It was like I’d crash-landed on a different planet.

During runway shows, I’d be dressed in the most outlandish things.

I’ll never forget one show I did where they put me in a see-through white blouse, platform heels, and tiny metallic shorts.

Then they glued feathers around my eyes and stuck a gilded birdcage over my head. ”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. I have a photo somewhere that was printed in Italian Vogue, of myself and two other models walking the runway in those birdcages.”

“That’s…”

“Weird, I know. Runway shows are meant to be attention-getting, so they’ll dress the models in all sorts of bizarre stuff.

That birdcage is just one example, but it stands out because it was one of my first runways, and I felt ridiculous.

I also didn’t love how much of my pale, skinny little body was on display in those short-shorts and that sheer top, but that’s another story. ”

“I would have felt so self-conscious, especially at that age.”

“Exactly. But anyway, while the models were dressed in ridiculous getups, the designers at those shows were almost always dressed head-to-toe in black. There were a few exceptions. A handful of designers would wear a print or something to complement their collection, but at least ninety percent of them defaulted to all-black. That made a huge impression on me, because these were the bosses, the people calling the shots. I quickly learned to equate dressing in black with being the one in control. On top of that, I think it looks sophisticated and classy. It’s practical, too.

Everything I own matches. That means I can get dressed quickly and still look pulled together. ”

“That all makes perfect sense.” He scratched his short beard and said, “It’s wild that you had this big career, starting at such a young age. When I was fourteen—well, I told you what I was like.”

“Yeah, a little rebel.”

“Pretty much. While my methods left a lot to be desired, I’m not sorry that I pushed back against my controlling parents. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have ended up with the life I have now.”

“You seem like you’re happy with where you ended up.”

“I am, for sure.”

After a pause, I muttered, “Sometimes I wonder where I’d be now if I’d stood up for myself when I was fourteen.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not like I jumped at the chance to be a model when that scout discovered me. I was a shy kid, and it sounded awful to me. But my parents, especially my mom, saw dollar signs and insisted that I do it. I tried to tell her I didn’t want to, but she wouldn’t listen.”

I shifted the phone to my other hand and added, “I don’t want to make her out to be a monster.

She’s not. But my parents have always been extremely focused on making money, so when someone offers you a high-paying job, you take it.

Whether or not you like it or actually want to do it is irrelevant. ”

“That’s not great.”

“I know. You have to put it in context, though. My parents were both immigrants and my mom grew up in poverty, so I get why my modeling career was important to her. She wanted me to have a better life than she’d had.

I just wish she’d thought about how it would affect me.

It forced me to grow up way too fast, and sometimes I found myself in situations I really wasn’t prepared to deal with.

For one thing, it’s creepy and super uncomfortable to get hit on by people more than twice your age when you’re still a teen. ”

There was anger in Ryder’s voice when he said, “Damn it, I hate that you were put in those situations.”

“There were other things that happened, too. This one time when I was sixteen, a bunch of us went to an all-ages nightclub in New York after a runway show. Drugs were getting passed around like they were candy, but that wasn’t the worst part.

These two drunk guys started aggressively hitting on my friend Lacey, who was fifteen at the time, and they weren’t taking no for an answer.

When I got between Lacey and these thugs and tried to defuse the situation, one of them pulled a gun on me. ”

Ryder was horrified. “Oh my god! What did you do?”

“I just froze. Fortunately, a bouncer saw what was happening, so he stepped in and tried to talk the guys down while someone else called the police. My friend and I were okay, but I’d never been so scared.”

“Didn’t you have any adults with you?”

“We did. Everyone who was under eighteen traveled with a guardian, parent, or manager. A couple of chaperones had come along to the club that night, but it was crowded, and Lacey and I had gotten separated from the rest of the group. They didn’t realize what was happening until the police showed up. ”

So many painful memories were pushing to the surface.

I just kept talking, because they needed to be let out.

“It really hurt when I told my parents what happened, and they yelled at me for being in that club in the first place. That didn’t seem fair.

I went out because I was trying to be a part of the group for once, instead of isolating myself in my hotel room.

I wasn’t smoking, or drinking, or taking drugs.

I didn’t do anything wrong. All I did was try to help my friend. ”

“I hate the fact that they yelled at you,” he muttered. “You were scared, and you probably reached out to them because you needed to be comforted.”

I didn’t want Ryder to think my parents were terrible people, so I tried to smooth it over by saying, “I’m sure they were scared too when they found out what happened. They probably yelled because they felt helpless and couldn’t do anything else.”

“Maybe, but it still hurt you.” I nodded and looked away, and he asked, “Who used to travel with you to those runway shows?”

“My agent. Both my parents were working full-time, so they couldn’t come along.”

“Did he look out for you?”

“Not really.” I smiled, but there was no joy in it. “And here’s the kicker. The money that I earned over the course of my career is all gone.”

“Where did it go?”

“Part of it was set aside for my college tuition. Not enough, which is why I’m currently working two jobs and scrimping to make ends meet. But at least I didn’t have to take out a bunch of student loans.”

“That’s good, but where did the rest of the money go?”

“My parents made some bad investments on my behalf and ended up losing it.” Ryder swore under his breath, and I said, “So, after all of that, the best I can say is that I’m graduating debt-free. I don’t know if that’s worth what I went through.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just… I don’t know. I wanted you to hear my story, I guess.” I needed to bail out of this conversation before I started crying. “Anyway, it’s late and you must be exhausted, so we should probably wrap this up.”

“Text me tomorrow, okay?” He tried to smile and lighten things up, even though his eyes were full of emotion. “And the day after that, and the one after that, and so on.”

“Oh, believe me,” I said, “that’s definitely happening.”