Page 23 of The Hookup (Firsts and Forever #13)

My friend stuck a huge Bloody Mary in my hand as soon as I stepped through the door. “I figured you could use a drink,” he said. “I also figured you’d turn down a beer before noon on a Sunday.”

“Thanks.”

I’d brought in a small ice chest, and when I handed it to him he asked, “What’s this?”

“Tamales, made with my Gran’s secret recipe. I know how much you love them, so I brought you a dozen.”

His eyes lit up. “You’re my hero, Woods. When did you make these?”

“Last night, with Hal.”

As I followed Tank to the kitchen, he teased, “I can’t believe you two spent your last night together doing something that wholesome.”

“It’s not actually possible to have sex twenty-four hours a day. We occasionally had to pause for other things.”

“Point taken. So, how was the visit?”

“It was wonderful.” I took a sip of my drink and fought back a cough. “This is about ninety percent vodka.”

“Well, yeah. Otherwise you’d just be drinking tomato juice, and what’s the point of that?” He was right. I took another sip as he asked me, “How sad are you that he’s gone?”

“I want to curl up in a ball and stay in bed for a week.”

“I figured this was going to go one of two ways.” He stuck the tamales in his refrigerator and turned back to me with a concerned expression.

“Either you two weren’t going to get along at all and he’d bail out in less than forty-eight hours, or it was going to go so well that you’d miss him like crazy when he left. ”

“The latter.”

“Let’s go sit down. I want to hear everything, including how the city boy handled ranch life.”

We moved into the living room, where Tank had a Bloody Mary of his own and a pitcher of refills waiting.

Like me, his home had been decorated in “American Bachelor” with a huge TV, a giant, dark blue sectional sofa, and a coffee table big enough to hold an extra-large pizza.

He’d one-upped my decorating style by framing football, rugby, and hockey jerseys and hanging them up in place of artwork.

He was passionate about sports, and I’d always admired the fact that he’d turned that passion into a career as a sports journalist.

“It was rough at first,” I said, as we settled onto the sofa.

“Not between him and me. We picked up right where we left off. But the ranch was completely alien to him, and I think most of the animals freaked him out. He settled in after a few days, though. He even bonded with the dogs and some of the horses—not to the extent that he was willing to go horseback riding, but he made progress.”

“So, when are you going to see him again?”

“June. He’s coming back as soon as he finishes school, hopefully for a week or two. But I have no idea when I’ll see him after that.”

“Why?”

“I’m sure he’s going to be offered a job in his field after graduation. Once he starts, it’ll probably be months before he can take a vacation.”

“He must be good, if you’re that certain he’ll land a job fresh out of school.”

“He’s brilliant. He brought along a pair of sketchbooks, and they were full of the most beautiful, creative designs—stuff most people wouldn’t be able to dream up on their best day. He has a lot of self-doubt, but he really shouldn’t because he’s incredibly talented.”

“Well, if he can’t come to you, you can always go to him. Between Dwight and me, we can hold down the fort for a weekend.”

“I appreciate the offer, and I’m sure I’ll take you up on it when the timing is right.

But he’s going to be busy while he’s trying to get established at some big, fancy company.

I don’t want to get in his way, or make demands on his time when he’s already going to be stretched thin.

” Tank sighed, and I asked, “What was that for?”

“You wouldn’t be another item on his to-do list, Ryder. You’d be his break from it all.”

“Maybe you’re right. It’s just too soon to plan anything beyond June.”

“Did you two discuss your next step as a couple? Where do you go from here?”

“There’s nothing to discuss, because a long-distance relationship is our only option.

I want to be with him so damn much, but I can’t give up the ranch.

At the same time, I would never ask him to choose me over his career.

With all of his talent, he’s going to be incredibly successful.

He’ll only end up resenting me if I get in the way of that. ”

“Yeah, I guess long distance really is your only choice,” Tank said. “Well, that or break up, which I know you’re not about to do. It’s obvious you’re totally into this guy.”

It was more than that. I was falling in love with Hal, but I wasn’t ready to admit it—not to Tank or anyone else.

I ended up hanging out with my friend the rest of the day. He made us lunch, and we watched ESPN for about five hours straight.

At one point, Hal sent me a message to let me know he’d arrived safely, and that he was going out to get some coffee with his friend Logan, who’d picked him up from the airport.

He also promised to check in before bed.

It felt oddly impersonal to be back to texting, after having him right beside me for the last few days.

In the late afternoon, Tank invited me to stay for dinner, but I told him I needed to get going. Dwight had already given up his Sunday to take care of the ranch. While he’d said he was happy to make that extra money, I wanted to make sure he had a chance to get some rest before the week started.

I stopped off at the store before leaving Austin and got myself groceries for the week, along with a case of Dwight’s favorite beer. I gave that to him when I got home, as a thank you for the extra work he’d done so I could free up some time for Hal.

After he took off, I put away the groceries, changed into my work clothes, and got busy. Dwight had already gotten all the animals where they needed to be for the night, but there was always extra work to do.

I spent the next several hours cleaning, organizing, and moving stuff around, until exhaustion forced me to take a seat on the porch.

My dogs gathered around me, but instead of settling in, it seemed like they were waiting for something—or someone.

“If you’re expecting Hal to show up, I hate to break it to you but he went back home,” I told them.

“It was nice having him here, wasn’t it? ”

The stillness of the ranch settled around me. Usually, I found it soothing. This evening though, it just added to my blue mood.

I missed Hal so much that it was a physical ache. My chest felt hollow.

But I knew I was going to have to get used to it. Every time we got together, it would inevitably be followed by saying goodbye and being apart for weeks, or months. This ache was going to become my new normal.

It took me a while to realize I was shivering. I’d worked up a sweat, and it had cooled on my skin. I got up and held the door for the dogs so they could come inside with me. Then I went and stood under a hot shower for a while.

After that, I put on an old Henley and a pair of pajama pants, plugged in my phone on the nightstand, and climbed into bed. It was still early, but I didn’t have the energy for anything else.

Then I noticed something under the covers on Hal’s side of the bed.

I’d totally forgotten that he’d left something for me.

I picked up the silky black camisole and rubbed it against my cheek before inhaling his clean, familiar scent.

He’d left his scent on his pillow too, and on the blankets.

It was incredibly soothing. I closed my eyes, clutching the delicate garment to my chest, and let myself get lost in it.

When my phone rang sometime later and I saw Hal’s name on the screen, it instantly made me smile. I turned on the lamp on my nightstand and answered the video call with, “Hi, baby. How’re you doing?”

“I miss you like crazy.”

“I miss you, too. I’m surprised you’re in bed. Isn’t it about nine o’clock there?”

“Yeah, but I’m completely wiped out.” He sighed and muttered, “I can’t believe I have to go to school tomorrow. I don’t know how I’m going to shift gears and get back to my regular grind.”

“It’ll be hard for me to get back to my usual routine, too.”

“I wish I was there with you.”

“Me, too. I appreciate what you left in my bed, though.” I held up the camisole.

“Like I said, fair is fair.” He was hugging my shirt to his chest, the same way I’d been holding his. “We can trade back next time I see you. But just so you know, I’m going to do the same thing on our next visit and steal something else of yours. This shirt will probably lose your scent by then.”

We spoke for a few more minutes. He told me about his flight, and about spending time with his best friend once he got home. When his eyelids started to get heavy, I said, “I should probably let you go.”

“No, don’t go. Spend the night with me.” He settled in on his pillow and propped up his phone on the nightstand, so the camera was still pointed at him. “Stay with me even after I fall asleep. Please?”

“Sure, baby. Anything you want.” I leaned my phone against the base of the lamp and tucked my hand under my head.

He fought to stay awake, long enough to murmur, “There was a lot I wanted to say at the airport. It’s hard to put it all into words, but I hope you know how much you mean to me, and how much I loved spending time with you.”

He was fading fast, but before he drifted off, he whispered, “You really are the sweetest, most wonderful man I’ve ever known, and I’m so grateful for you, Ry.”

I had an even harder time trying to put my feelings into words, so all I managed was, “Right back at you.”

Hal fell asleep about a minute later, and as promised, I stayed on the line. Even though I desperately wanted him here with me, I told myself I could learn to get used to this long-distance thing again.

What choice did I have?