Page 150 of The German Mother

Minki put down her scrubbing brush, leaned over and kissed Peter’s cheek. ‘I’m so glad you’re working there. You’re a man of honour and dignity, doing what you can to give honour and dignity back to all those unfortunate people.’ She smiled briefly, and resumed the washing-up.

Peter blushed. ‘That’s a sweet thing to say…’ He paused. ‘Minki, there’s something I’ve been wanting to say to you all day.’

‘Go on.’

‘I’m so sorry I left you back then before the war. I’ve never really forgiven myself for it. It was selfish of me, and cruel.’

‘Oh, Peter, please don’t worry about that. We were both so young and I was a bit wild – I can see that now. I suspect I frightened you off. I was so in love with you though.’

‘I loved you too and yet I abandoned you. And that’s what I can’t forgive myself for. If I’d taken you with me…things would have been so different. I could have saved you all this grief.’

‘You know, Peter – I don’t do “what if”. I never have. We play the hand we’re dealt in life, not the hand we want. Besides, if I’d married you, I wouldn’t have had my children. And however much sadness there has been, Clara and the boys have been my greatest joy.’

She put her arms round his neck and kissed his cheek. ‘Don’t regret anything, Peter. Let’s just enjoy what we have now.’

‘Do you think one day…we might…?’

She held up her finger and put it to his mouth. ‘Sssh…don’t say it. We don’t know what the future holds, let’s just wait and see, all right?’

‘All right,’ he replied, kissing her fleetingly on the mouth.

The washing up completed, the pair returned to the sitting room. ‘Mutti, Mutti, there you are,’ Felix shouted excitedly. ‘Come and play with us.’

Minki laughed. ‘All right – what are we playing?’

‘Knock-out whist,’ shouted Willie. ‘We can all play.’

Minki sat down next to Clara, with Peter on her other side.

The game went on for some time, with players gradually being knocked out. Finally, there were just two left – Clara and her brother Felix. When Felix lost the final hand, Clara leapt to her feet. ‘I won, Mutti… I won.’

‘You did darling,’ said Minki, her eyes filling with tears.

Leila turned to Minki and whispered in her ear: ‘I think you have both won, don’t you?’

‘I do, Leila. I really do.’

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