Page 23 of The Breaking Pointe

interrogation

NOELLE

“I’m sorry if this hangout seemed last minute,”

I blurt as we wait for the ice cream server to finish making our sundae”

I…wanted to stay out a little later tonight since I worked all day,”

I lie, retaining my real reason to come out, which is my desire to see him.

“So, seeing me was your solution?”

he asks, furrowing his eyebrows playfully.

“That’s not an issue, is it?”

I reply, giving him a sprinkle of sass.

“If you were anybody else, I’m afraid I would have to say yes.”

He nods, watching the server hold out the ice cream for him to grab. He pays for it, carefully taking it into his hands after he does and thanking them before returning his attention to me”

But I think it’s better to admit that it’s impossible for me to consume too much or get tired of spending whatever time I have with you. Your presence is pretty remarkable, if you weren’t

aware.”

“I wasn’t aware,”

I come back, sticking beside him as we walk away from the stand.

“Consider yourself woke, then.”

He chuckles.

“Okay, considered. But you have to tell me what makes me different, huh?”

I rebut, wanting to hear more”

Why do I stand out?”

“How about you let me interrogate you, for once?”

He chuckles, holding out the sundae for me to take a bite as we walk”

What made you consider giving me the time of day?”

Fair. I suppose I could test my theory on why he has a chance at making the cut for the role of dutiful boyfriend.

“Alright, fine. If I’m being real, I never thought I would meet anybody again who would be interested in me enough to stick around for more than just sex,”

I say, keeping my head high, but relieved in myself for telling him my deep cut”

I thought that after we hooked up, you would be pleased, like most men, and then forget all about the club, and about me.”

He takes a scoop of ice cream, flipping the spoon upside-down before it enters his mouth, then gazes at me in a puzzled manner. He devours his bite, then gives me his million-dollar reply.

“That’s a little ridiculous, no?”

He stares at me.

“No. It’s realistic. I’m not immune to the harsh treatment that most men feel the need to shower us women with. I’m no different than any other woman. It’s more common to be another notch on a belt, then be the woman of someone’s dreams,”

I say, almost scoffing.

He shoves the spoon back into the small cup, stinging me with his eyes.

“You’re a knockout on the eyes, to start. Like a beautiful mural,” he says.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

I roll my eyes, huffing as I eat a big scoop of the sundae.

“You’re smart,”

he adds, finding more things to say, “and you’re funny, too—maybe in a sarcastic, satirical kinda of way, but I’m into it,”

he continues, not letting up”

And you’re caring. You like to understand people and things, which some might say I could use a lesson on. That has to be significant to some degree.”

“That’s sweet, Cole, but out of all of those things, you forgot the most important one.”

I humble myself.

He’s not blind to what words can make a woman fall victim to charm. But I’ve been careful not to allow my insides to get jumpy over minor compliments. And I will continue to do so. I want to help him, but that doesn’t exactly make me girlfriend material or fitting for his life.

“And that is?”

“I’m complicated, Colton,”

I hastily come back at him”

I can be complicated. That deflects from everything you mentioned. I have standards that cause problems. That’s why it’s safer to guard myself.”

“So, you have boundaries put in place that are there to distinguish how much access someone has to you. That’s rational, and I’m not a stranger to it, Noelle. Getting a date with you at all was the first thing that could’ve told me that,”

he says, unbothered by my excuses.

He’s given me more than enough reasons to assume that none of my chatter is gonna make him want to leave me alone. Instead, he is very willingly enjoying me challenging him, like it fuels his jets. I’m running out of ways to make him understand that he’d be miserable with me. Anyone would.

“Look, I know you don’t have this deep, enthralling trust in

me. I can accept that. And it’s a possibility that I don’t meet those standards you have. But, Noelle, eventually, you have to let somebody in. Figuring someone out on day one is objective, and I’m not asking you to know all of the answers,”

he says, picking his spoon back up as he smiles at me”

But what fun would figuring each other out be if it didn’t take time? You wouldn’t be here with me if you didn’t agree a little, tiny bit.”

Stop being right, Kennedy. Stop being right and stop being so whimsical and appealing. It’s not helping me.

“It’s not like I’m royalty.”

I sarcastically smile.

“You should feel like you are. Because to me, you’re way more compelling than any other woman that I’ve met. At least in my lifetime,”

he says, straight faced and forward.

To that, I can’t prepare anything to say. I’m not going to try. For once, I’ll try acceptance.

We continue walking, and then, between us, Colton’s pocket begins lighting up, sounding off a few notifications. Colton begins rummaging through his pockets, pulling out his phone as we continue. His eyes scan whatever the mystery notification is, but the warm, happy feeling is no longer emerging from him. His eyes become low, and his mouth, tight and pursed as he shoves his phone back into his pants pocket.

“Everything okay?”

I ask, still watching his demeanor become dry.

He shakes his head quickly”

I’m fine,”

he says, following up with a disingenuous smile.

Looping my arm in his, I gently hug his arm, sensing the lie he just fed me. He doesn’t have to talk, but I just wonder if I could be able to fix it. It must be bad if it’s changing his entire mood. Looking ahead of us, I notice we’re getting closer and closer to a park. The more steps we take, the more I can put my sights

together and see that there’s a slide, swings, a merry-go-round, and other little toys and trinkets.

“Look at that. I haven’t seen a merry-go-round in ages, or a roundabout, I dunno what New Yorkers call it,”

I say, tossing the empty cup in a close-by garbage can, sending a used napkin behind it. I point to the object in question as we walk toward it. Colton’s head whips in the direction of my finger. “Oh yeah.

Merry-go-round. I haven’t either,”

he says in disbelief”

I’ve been here before. That has to be new.”

I step in front of him, stopping his stride”

Play a game with me.”

He forces himself to halt, looking straight down at me, grip- ping my shirt.

“A game…?”

he partly stutters. I nod.

“You’re it!”

I poke his chest before leaping away from him, running to the merry-go-round.

I can hear his footsteps gaining on me, but just in time, I jump onto the spinning circle, grabbing whatever metal handlebars are open for my reach. He catches up with me, taking one of the bars into his hand and catching up with the speed, running around the circle, spinning me as he does, initiating a laughing fit from the pit of my stomach.

Finding the right timing, he jumps onto the platform, joining me so we can spin together.

We both grab onto each other, his fingers tightly gripping different parts of my clothing as he stumbles and falls backward, pulling me with him.

“Ah, shit!”

he groans, laughing as he holds onto my arms while the spinning slows down.

“Oh my God, your head…”

I laugh, starting to contain myself as I gently push some fingers through his hair to rub his head.

“I’m okay,”

he says breathlessly, getting his last bit of laughter out”

I feel like a kid…” he adds.

“That’s a good thing, I hope,”

I say, becoming keenly aware of how close our faces are.

“It’s a great thing. You’re great. You really know how to cheer a guy up,”

he says, sorting a few hairs away from my face.

“I knew something was off,”

I say, losing some of my cheer, sitting up to straddle him”

You were wailing on that punching bag like it owed you something. And bare hands means bruised knuckles. I do know that.”

“I’m having an off day. Which is most days but I’m not counting. I mean, hell, what does announcing it do? I’ve got a lot on my mind right now. A lot on my plate. Some days are hard,”

he says, sliding a nervous hand along his facial hair.

“Most days? Colton…”

I take a deep breath.

“I’m trying to find ways to make this part of my life feel different, but the overview of it all is easier to withstand than the experience. Punching a bag is less challenging than talking about it, for me, okay?”

He releases a soul-filled sigh, looking above us”

It’s not you.”

Yet you insist you don’t need any help. It’s textbook male behavior.

“You don’t have to do everything alone, you know? I don’t know if loneliness is a feeling that you even possess, but if you think you’re undeserving of something as typical as general happiness, then you’re wrong.”

I cross my arms, watching his eyes widen at my suggestion.

“A lot of people feel that way. Including me. But what I believe is that someone should get to be the one to be there with you to weather the storm,”

I lecture him, softening my voice as I lean closer to him”

And you said yourself. Denying yourself love…

and valuing loss and loneliness is the worst kind of poverty.”

He doesn’t say a word, softening his expression to a more content one.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

My voice becomes softer than the crickets chirping around us.

“Please keep talking…”

he whispers, taking a handful of my cheek.

“Tell me what you’re thinking about.”

I lean closer to him, my gaze jumping to his lips.

He bites his bottom lip, his eyes staring at mine in return”

I’m thinking about how you’re making me fall for you, harder

and harder each time I get a glimpse of those emerald eyes.”

A pause lingers between his words”

How badly it scares the hell out of me that whatever this is will pass, and that I’ll miss my chance. I don’t know how I’ve been dealing with life without this feeling you give me, Elle.”

His voice starts to get raspy”

I wanna kiss you more than anything, right now.”

“So, do it. What’s stopping you?”

I brush my lips against his”

I don’t think I’m letting any of this pass by, any time soon.”

The very second I finish speaking, he kisses me, holding onto both of my cheeks now, freeing me from the torment of not having his lips against mine.

Within seconds, my freedom is stripped from me again, feel- ing our lips disconnect as his phone begins to vibrate between us.

A deep, disquiet sigh leaves his mouth after he releases his grasp from my face and substitutes it for his phone, the bright light from the screen shining over his face to highlight his abhorrence for whatever he is looking at.

“Is everything okay?”

I ask, standing from his lap and tugging at his arm for him to stand with me.

He does, but not without words waterfalling out his mouth with anger.

“Look at this—look how he’s already slandering my name,”

he protests, holding his phone to my eye level.

He repeats a video from the beginning, muted with subtitles, advertising Daniel and a few of his groupies, gallivanting in the living room of his home over multiple bottles of alcohol. With his co-signers in the back, he confidently states every reason Colton should drop his new contract, and why, to Daniel’s pitiful standards, he believes he isn’t deserving of a contract to begin with.

When the hell did Cole sign a contract?

I place a hand over his phone, covering the screen and squeez- ing the lock button to black out Daniel’s noisy tormenting.

“Have you been watching this kind of content all day?”

His mute response serves as all the confirmation I need.

“Colton, you can’t let yourself listen to that stuff. It’s all bullshitted opinions that aren’t even close to being true.”

I shake my head, pushing his phone down to his side.

“It’s easier said than done, Noelle,”

he responds, dropping the phone into his hoodie pocket”

It’s not just Daniel—though his threats are stickier than other guys. The problem is that it’s multiple guys targeting me because they feel threatened by me all of a sudden, and my contract isn’t even finalized. Maybe I’m being oversensitive, but it doesn’t feel great being made out to be the bad guy in everyone’s world.”

He runs an aggressive hand through his hair.

“What matters is that you know yourself. You know you’re not a bad guy, okay? And any other relatively smart person would know that it’s strictly propaganda.”

My justifications don’t seem to render any satisfaction, based

on his blank, subdued expression.

“Cole, c’mon. You’re gonna let Daniel get in your head with his left-field rumors that make no sense? He’s not you, and that boils his blood. He’ll get over it.”

I wrap some fingers around his bicep, squeezing it.

He glances at my hand, and then me.

“He has good reason.”

Cole sighs, following me as I pull his arm toward a pair of swings.

“Might this revolve around a specific contract that you have yet to mention to me?”

I ask him, attempting to make him smile again.

“I have a bad feeling about fighting him again, that’s all. And once the contract is finalized, he’ll be the first on my roster. I won’t be able to back out.”

He grits his teeth with the last words, watching me sit on a swing.

He wraps his hands around the chains, stepping behind me and looking down at me.

“Who said you had to?”

I lift my head to return the glance”

I’m happy for you, but I have to ask why exactly you’re ruining good news about pro fighting all because of a guy whose ass you already kicked?”

I start to laugh softly.

He cracks a smile, breaking his serious character but harbor- ing a gentle tone of voice”

Elle, I dunno if you realize…but it will be personal. He’s one step closer to knowing that we’ve been seeing each other,”

he says, placing his palm on my back”

He’s not well rounded, which I’m aware of, but neither am I. I’m not going to lie to myself like he’s not a few weight classes above mine. and the sooner he confirms that we’re seeing each other, the more likely our egos are to collide.”

“Why do you seem so threatened by him? You’re everything he thinks he is and wants to be—possibly better.”

I push myself up

from the swing and turn around to face him. The swing dangles between us now.

I’m not sure why I feel this compelled to defend his insecuri- ties, but nevertheless, I refuse to listen to him lower his quality to the likes of Daniel.

“You’re just saying that—”

“I mean it, Colton.”

I glare at him, giving him the utmost, rock-solid stance to let him know that I mean business.

Lowering my guard, I move the swing to the side and take a step closer.

“I would know. I know everything about that man, and none of the information is positive,”

I admit, feeling the body heat rise within me and a wooziness assail within my gut.

“Care to share?” he asks.

Gliding my tongue across my top front teeth, I look down”

Have you ever met somebody with an aura so rotten that it makes your skin crawl?”

I ask, testing myself on how ready I am to tell him about the Daniel I know.

The real Daniel, who sees me and numerous other women as his very own personal stress balls, who eats us for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

“Sure. I know someone, personally. Well, I knew,”

he says, tapping all of his attention in.

“So, then you know why he’s not even millimeters close to being a good person. He loves almost every illegal performance enhancer, and even worse, you can tell. He hasn’t been sober since before we dated. He’s mean and vile. Shouldn’t that be enough evidence to tell someone?”

I avoid letting our eyes meet, sheer embarrassment filling me up as I speak.

“If you’re telling me that he’s a simple-minded coke head, it’s obvious, Noelle. But you dated him, so that means you and I both know that having a lot of money can go a long way. You can cover up anything and get away with it, scot-free,”

he says, mellowing his voice.

“I dated him, yes. So, I know he’s controlling. He means what he says, and his threats are normally promises.”

I quiet my volume, beginning a tapping motion with my foot”

When we first met, he was a nice guy. At least, I thought he was, but he ended up being good at fronting. Abusive words became abusive actions and…I just want you to take my word for it, please?”

I take a deep breath, looking at each blade of grass beneath us, under the moonlight.

Colton suddenly stills, resembling my volume with his voice”

Did he put his hands on you?”

“He hasn’t for a while…”

I say, thinking I could bypass the topic if I said it soft enough.

“For a while? This is still happening? Noelle, he can’t—”

He starts to raise his voice but controls himself in an instant.

Now I can’t resist looking him in the eye.

“That’s what the meetings are for. They’re domestic violence meetings.”

His jaw seemingly tightens further, as if that’s possible”

People who behave like that have no place for their anger.

Instead, it’s misplaced and used to take out on others. Believe me, I know—my dad was the same way, but with my mom,”

he blurts, hurrying to find a common ground in our experiences. An anger is brewing inside him, and it’s showing. I’m waiting for him to bite back. But it dawns on me: he’s Colton. Not Daniel Aguado. There is no bite. No animosity. Just accountability. Usually, this is the part where I brace myself and wait for the

blow. But, this time, it’s not gonna happen. The frustration isn’t because of me.

And even if it was, he would never physically take out his frustrations on me.

“Look, you’re obviously not like him. I think. So it’s okay—I mean, it’s nice to be…heard.”

I nod slowly, ensuring he knows that I don’t view him in that light.

“No, I’m not like him. That’s one billion percent true, and something I’m proud of. Still, none of that shit is okay. That behavior is despicably unwarranted. No amount of anything in this world can wager the reasoning behind harming any precious being, let alone someone you’re supposed to love and care for,”

he tells me, hesitantly reaching for my hand, locking our fingers. I don’t think it’s true anymore. It’s the flat-out truth of the matter; Colton Kennedy is as soft and sweet as I hoped he would be.

“In that case, I hope there isn’t an amount that can convince you to get sick of me and my past relationship?”

I fake a smile, working to lighten the tone.

“If having you around me meant that my wealth was going to deplete, then so be it. I’d still be rich. Wealthiness comes from within. Being rich is a mindset before it’s a lifestyle,”

he says, pulling my arm so that my body stumbles into his, wrapping his big, warm body around my frame.

He kisses my head, then his hands slip onto my cheeks, cupping them to look at me.

“Is this supposed to be some kind of fate thing?” I ask.

“I didn’t always believe in fate. I’m still not sure how I feel about it, but I know it exists.”

He shakes his head briefly”

Since I’m unsure of that, I’ll tell you what I’m sure of. I do believe in hard work. And if that means countless hours of making sure

you’re comfortable, or endless days of getting you to trust me, then I’m ready for the job.”

His thumbs run against my skin as he speaks in an inside voice”

All you have to do is say the word. If you want me to, I’ll go away.”

“But I don’t want you to,”

I say, pleading with my eyes”

Then, I won’t.”

His lips form a firm smile before he kisses

my head.