Page 89 of The Aster Valley Collection, Vol. 2

“What the fuck was she thinking?” he demanded when I finished.

“Running off to Mexico for a week of sun and adventure was one thing, but you’d think after watching everything you went through recovering from the accident, after all the times I told her how dangerous it was to operate any kind of vehicle while drinking…

” He cut himself off with a shake of his head and forced a smile.

“Whatever. Anyway. What’s on the agenda today?

Planning session with Mikey and Tiller about the big financing meeting tomorrow?

I promised Tiller I’d follow up with Rocco and see if he had all the footage he needed?—”

I laid my hand over his. “Parker. Don’t pretend you’re not worried.”

Parker took another sip of coffee and shrugged. “Of course I’m worried. But Rod will help her. They have more than enough money to cover the damages. They’ll probably fly down once someone gets in touch with them. They’ll probably read her the riot act, too, because somebody needs to.”

I wasn’t sure which of us he was trying harder to convince.

“Haven’t they read her the riot act in the past?” I asked gently. “Did it work?”

Parker made a helpless noise. We both knew the only person who ever got through to our headstrong friend even temporarily was Parker.

“You want to go down and help her, don’t you?” I prompted.

“Pfft. No.”

I lifted an eyebrow, and he deflated.

“Okay, yeah, maybe I have that impulse, but it’s partly force of habit.

” Parker admitted. “And also, she’s my friend, and I care about her.

I can’t help feeling like there’s something going on with her that I should have seen…

that I would have seen if I hadn’t been so busy trying not to freak out about the wedding.

Especially now that you and I are together and I realize why marrying Erin never felt right in the first place. ”

Oh. Wow .

Parker turned his hand underneath mine, threaded our fingers together, and yanked me over to straddle him on his chair.

“But I’m not going. It’s not my place. You’re my priority, Jules.

You always were, and you always will be.

I told you that last night, and I’m going to keep telling you every night.

I’m staying here with you.” His hand coasted up my back, tangled in my hair, and pulled my head back so he could drop a butterfly kiss on my nose. “Because I love you. Okay?”

Fuck, I loved this man and his generous heart so much. And the selfish part of me wanted nothing more than to keep Parker with me every minute of every day.

But I didn’t want him to stay in order to prove something to me either.

He thrived on being a rock for the people he loved, and Erin and the Rokas were at the top of that list, along with me.

I didn’t want him to feel like he had to hold back because he was worried about my insecurities. I didn’t want to be selfish.

Besides, I trusted Parker. So I could be mature about this.

“You should go, baby.” I patted his chest lightly.

“What?” He scowled. “Heck no.”

“No, listen. You’re not going to sleep tonight if you think Erin is down in Mexico, alone and friendless, with no way to come home.”

“Well, but?—”

“And we don’t know if Rod and Lorraine are even checking their voicemail.

It could be tomorrow or the next day before they get down there.

Meanwhile, Erin is… I mean, she could sell ice to a polar bear, Parks, and there’s no one I’d rather bungee jump with, but dealing with paperwork?

” I shook my head. “She gets overwhelmed. She’s not like Hazel. ”

“So why can’t Hazel go down?” But even as he asked the question, Parker sighed. “She’s working on a deal for your dad, isn’t she?”

“As usual. Besides, you know Hazel doesn’t have the patience for this.

” I kissed a small, white scar on Parker’s chin from a long-ago ski injury and tried to savor the casual intimacy of the moment.

“It’s gonna be fine, Parks, I promise. I’ll book your flight.

You text Rod with an update and tell Erin you’re coming. “

He grabbed my wrist before I turned away. “Wait.” When I turned back to face him, I could tell he was trying to read my thoughts. “Are you saying I should do this because you think it’s the right thing to do or because you think it’s what I want to do?”

I stepped into his embrace and held on to him.

“Uh… both? You’re a good man, so you always want to do the right thing.

” I thumbed through my phone, eager to start making arrangements before I gave in to the clawing desire to keep my boyfriend within kissing distance.

“I don’t want Erin to feel alone or abandoned.

” And more than that, I wanted Parker to know I supported him. Always.

Parker stood up and pulled the phone out of my hand before setting it down on the table. “The fact that you still believe Erin’s a good person after everything that’s happened says a lot about the man you are. You’re a good friend, Jules.”

I was trying. I was really trying.

“You taught me everything I know,” I reminded him. “Okay, so there’s a flight leaving in three hours. I’m getting you a return flight in two days. You can change it without penalty if you need to. And I’ll be waiting for you at the airport when you get back, okay?”

Parker kissed me in lieu of agreeing. Then he dragged me away from the table, abandoning our breakfast, so he could take me to the shower and show me on his knees how much my ability to book a flight turned him on.

Who said maturity didn’t pay off?

Later, though, after Parker had left for the airport—alone, because we both knew airport goodbyes sucked—I wandered around my empty cabin and decided maturity was highly overrated.

Even after five minutes of solitude, my ears rang from the silence.

The air in the cabin was colder without Parker to warm it.

Even the sight of his half-eaten toast made my stomach lurch unpleasantly.

I wasn’t sure how I could miss him so badly when he’d barely left.

After forcing myself to do the dishes and make the bed, I texted Mikey about the meeting later. Then I flopped down on the couch and called my sister back to update her on the situation.

“He’s got a quick layover, but he should get there in around five hours,” I concluded after a quick check of the time. “And he’ll get things figured out. And it’ll be… great.” I thought my cheerful voice sounded fairly believable.

“You’re an idiot,” Hazel said flatly, proving me wrong.

“Me? What?”

“You should know that you weren’t the only person I called this morning. I called Tiller, too.”

“Oh?” I asked innocently.

“Yeah. Oh . And he assumed that I knew about your new relationship status. With Parker .”

I rubbed a hand over my forehead. “Hazel, I was going to tell you?—”

“Once you’d run all the calculations and dotted the i’s and crossed the t’s? Which might have happened sometime before you two got matching nursing home assignments?”

“It’s been a matter of days. Like, two .”

“And you’ve been waiting for it for decades . Like, two ,” she retorted. “And now it’s finally, finally happened. He loves you back, Jules. Which brings me back to my original point. You’re an idiot . ”

“Parker going to Mexico has nothing to do with me and him,” I insisted. “He still loves Erin. Of course he does. They’ve been friends nearly as long as he and I have. So he’s going to help her out as a friend. And I support him.”

“Liar.”

“What?” I sputtered, caught. “Look, I trust Parker, okay? He says he’s in love with me, so he is.”

“I believe that. I believe the hell out of that,” Hazel agreed.

“Parker Ellis has thought you personally hung the North Star since you were a first grader, and he’s steered his ship by you ever since.

There was only ever the sexual attraction component that prevented you two from being the world’s most scorching couple, and from what Tiller said, Parks managed to wrap his head allllll the way around that little obstacle. ”

I felt my face go hot. “Tiller’s a damn gossip.”

“Tiller also said he’s never seen either one of you look as happy, as settled , as you did the other night.”

“Really?” I swallowed hard, chest tight.

“Really. So I’m wondering, Julian, how the hell you got handed the future you dreamed of and just… waved it off to Mexico.”

“Because that’s who Parker is, Hazel. Helping his friends is what he does. And since I love him for all the parts of him, I don’t want to hold him back. So I told him he should go.”

“Oh, god,” she groaned. “And why didn’t you offer to go with him?”

“I… Well, I…” I gripped one of the throw pillows so hard the fabric probably imprinted on my palm. “I have an important meeting at the lodge later about acquiring some property nearby, and I can’t miss it.”

“Not even for a family emergency? Tiller and Mikey wouldn’t understand? Weird.”

I opened my mouth to correct her—remind her that Parker wasn’t family, exactly—but then I shut it again immediately. Parker was my family. Always had been.

Why hadn’t I offered to go? Why had the idea never even occurred to me?

“Julian, you do this all the time, and it’s got to stop. I get that you’ve always done it to protect yourself, but if you and Parker are together now, you’ve got to work on better coping mechanisms and stop pushing Parker to rescue Erin.”

“Pushing—? Me? Oh, no. No. I have never.”

I hated that he always ran off to rescue her. Loathed it.

“You do, though. You always urge him to help her out when she gets into trouble. Honestly, there have been times I wish you’d left her to suffer the consequences of her actions.

Maybe that’s mean, but it’s true. I remember one of the times, specifically, when Parker showed up to help move you into your apartment, and Erin called saying she needed to retrieve her exercise bike up in Cheyenne when that guy broke up with her and took it in his move.

Parker said no, because he was busy with you.

And you were all, ‘Don’t worry, Parks. I’ve got Hazel and some guys from work here. We’ll be fine. Erin needs you.’”

“I… I…” I remembered that. I’d been so annoyed with her constant intrusions, calling and complaining about needing help while I was trying to move my shit on a very tight schedule, that I’d finally thrown my hands up and told him to go.

It was inevitable that Parker would go eventually, and I hadn’t wanted him to feel bad about it.

I also hadn’t wanted to force the issue and make him choose because I’d been afraid he’d choose her.

“Erin’s family owns a chain of sporting goods stores, Julian.

She could have had a new bike the next day,” Hazel continued.

“But instead, she and Parker fetched her bike from Cheyenne only to find that it wouldn’t fit at Erin’s, so they had to take it to Parker’s place in Vail.

And once the bike was at his place, of course she had to come over and use it.

And voilà, they’d gotten back together again, and Erin had felt safe.

At least temporarily. But you were the one who prompted him to do it, babe. ”

I sat in silence for a second, processing all of this. Was it possible that I’d misread things all along? That him choosing her hadn’t been inevitable until I’d made it inevitable?

“Look, I’m not blaming you for all of their shit,” Hazel went on when the silence had drawn out.

“Not at all. It’s just that Erin grew up a little too safe—she craves stability and hates it at the same time, you know?

That’s why working for her dad is not a great fit for her.

She doesn’t get to stretch her wings, and she never suffers the consequences of her actions.

Meanwhile, Parker grew up with no stability, so he never wants to abandon anyone.

He always wants to do the right thing, even when he hates it.

Even when he doesn’t know what the right thing is.

Which is why he sometimes relies on you to help him find it. ”

I remembered Parker asking, “Are you saying I should do this because you think it’s the right thing to do or because you think it’s what I want to do?” and that same sick feeling was back in my stomach.

What had I done?

“You’re wasting your talents mediating contract disputes,” I whispered. “You should either be a telephone psychic or a TV psychiatrist.”

“I know, right? And instead, I’m here talking to you. So, Jules, please listen. Who’s looking out for Parker right now while he’s busy protecting Erin? Who’s making sure that he knows he’s safe and loved and that he doesn’t have to run all over the world saving his friends if he’d rather not?”

“I am,” I said firmly. “I will.”

“Good. You know, you’ve waited nearly your whole life for him to choose you, Jules. And he has. So now it’s time for you to make sure he knows that you choose him. And that he doesn’t need to prove himself to you or anyone else.”

God. The idea that Parker might feel insecure in our relationship—that he could somehow not be aware, after all these years, that if I was his North Star, he was my fucking sunlight —horrified me.

My hands shook as I put the phone on speaker and tried to call up the same website I’d used to book Parker’s ticket.

Somehow, the interface had all gotten way more complicated in the past hour, and I couldn’t remember where I was or where I was going.

“Julian,” Hazel said with remarkable patience. “At the risk of repeating myself, brother, you’re kind of an idiot.”

“I know. I’m being ridiculous. But I love him so much, and I… wait, what time is it now?”

She sighed. “Time for me to call Dad and tell him that you need him to arrange that private plane timeshare thing he doesn’t use nearly often enough to justify the cost, while you find your passport.”

“Hazel, I adore you,” I said fervently.

“Back atcha. Just go get your man. Tell him I love him. And tell Erin to fucking call me. Okay?”

I agreed happily, but privately I knew that before I delivered any of Hazel’s messages, I was going to deliver my own. I was going to tell Parker that I loved him, and I was going to make sure he knew I chose him, too…come hell or high water.

But it wasn’t until I walked into the bar of the exclusive resort a few hours later to find Parker and Erin grinning at one another while Lorraine Rokas embraced them and cried, “I always knew you two belonged together!” that I realized exactly what hell looked like.